


You Make My Heart Beat in Intimate Places

by Nordyr



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Ain't nobody got time for realistic relationship problems, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Lexa's betrayal never happened ok, before season 3
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-20
Updated: 2017-05-26
Packaged: 2018-09-10 17:50:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 38
Words: 97,655
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8926537
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nordyr/pseuds/Nordyr
Summary: Clarke's broken after the battle at Mount Weather, and Lexa's there to fix her up. Gradually, they both learn to appreciate times of peace and realize they can be together. Aww, cute <3





	1. Victory Hides Behind the Back of Sacrifice

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone! So I've had this whole cheesy story stuck in my head now for a while, and I finally found the courage to share it. I hope you enjoy :)

It was about mid-afternoon when the Commander and her generals arrived at Camp Jaha. The weather was pleasant so that Lexa was comfortable in the formal armor she was wearing. She felt her horse huff beneath her and patted him on the side of his neck. 

Approaching the fence that surrounded the Skaikru’s camp, she glanced at the Trikru tents surrounding the Skaikru’s settlement. She had told a number of warriors to stay there before she left for TonDC and protect the camp from any possible attacks or intrusions. Although that was the reason she had given her warriors, she had also wanted them to stay close to the Sky people to encourage their interaction. They were allies now, they had been for a quite some time, and Lexa wanted to keep it that way. After the fall of the Mountain, she did not plan on leaving the Skaikru to their own fates and pretending the alliance never existed. She did not plan on leaving Clarke like they had never known each other. The blonde leader had given too much for the alliance, and Lexa respected that. She was even impressed by it. Clarke had fought, bled and killed for her people and for this alliance. 

The reason Clarke had given Lexa for the alliance no longer existed: the Mountain had fallen and both their people were freed. But the Commander felt the need to keep the Skaikru and specifically Clarke close, for reasons that might have been too close to her heart and too far from her head.  
But Lexa’s people had not complained, apart from Indra’s disagreeing glances and occasional advice, and Lexa figured that her people had come to respect Clarke as much as she did. She and the Skaikru had proven themselves well in the war against the Mountain.

The gates were already halfway open when Lexa rode in on her horse. She dismounted and one of her warriors took her horse’s reins to be led to the make-shift stable. Lexa looked around the camp. Both Trikru and Skaikru people had gathered when they saw her approaching. She discretely searched the crowds for blonde hair as she walked up to the main entrance.

 

After a formal welcoming by Kane and Clarke’s mother, Lexa made her way to the council room with them. Bellamy, Octavia and Indra joined them. As they entered, the Commander was surprised that Clarke wasn’t there, but quickly made sure the disappointment did not show on her face.

As Abby was about to start the meeting on various topics they had to discuss, Lexa interrupted her.

“Should we not wait for Clarke?” she asked, almost making it sound like an order. After all, Clarke was the one she still thought of as the Sky people’s leader, no matter who the Arker’s called their Chancellor.  
Bellamy’s jaw clenched and Octavia was silent, knowing this was not her place to talk. She was there as Indra’s second and a possible bridge between the two people, nothing more.

“No,” Abby said, looking down at the map. “She won’t be joining us today.” Abby looked up at the Commander with an expressionless face, but Lexa noticed something in her eyes that did not seem right and her mind started racing. She ached to order Abby to explain, but refrained from doing so. She had seen Bellamy tensing up at her question, and made a point of it to question both him and Octavia later. For now, she would get on with the meeting, as was her job as the Commander.

The meeting dragged on for about an hour or so, and they discussed practicalities about trading supplies, Mount Weather remains and politics that seemed unimportant to Lexa. She caught her mind drifting off to Clarke several times, even when she tried to stay focused on the map and discussions in front of her. 

The Mountain had fallen ten days ago, and they had spent the first two days burning the dead; Trikru and Skaikru warriors, but mostly Mountain Men's bodies. Although the army had made it inside the mountain, Clarke had to irradiate a whole level when Cage had locked his people in and threatened to kill her mother and friends. The Mountain had been filled with burned and misshapen bodies of those that could not handle the radiation level. It had been exhausting and dreadful work, but eventually they cleared out all the corpses and burned them. Lexa had insisted that the spirits of the fallen warriors were not to be set free in unison with the Mountain Men’s. Clarke had found no need to argue. 

Lexa had left the Skaikru’s settlement for TonDC two days later. The city was being rebuild and there had been matters she was forced to attend to, including leading many warriors and wounded back home to their families. She had been eager to get back to camp Jaha and celebrate their victory with Clarke and their people, but now she feared that she had stayed away too long after all.  
Indra filled in answers when she noticed the Commander was barely paying attention to the meeting, and made a point of it to get the Commander’s mind back to the discussions.

 

* * *

 

As Lexa left the Ark building after the meeting was over, the sun was starting to descend and she could smell food being cooked for dinner. She summoned Indra, who was walking not too far behind her.

“Is my tent set up?” she asked.

“Yes, Heda,” Indra nodded. Lexa considered asking Indra to fetch the Blake siblings in order to ask them about Clarke’s absence from the meeting, but decided against it. Dinner would be soon, and she had a good chance of finding Clarke then.

To her dismay though, she didn’t. Lexa looked around the settlement, noticing Skaikru and Trikru mingling together over their meal. She only wished she could share her appreciation for this with Clarke, since they had made it happen together. 

A remaining group of the original hundred sat together near a fire, eating their food. Lexa recognized Clarke’s friends.  
Octavia and Lincoln, who were sitting with the group, noticed her walking in their direction, and Lincoln respectfully stood up, nodded his head with a “Heda,” and shortly after Octavia did the same. Lexa nodded her acknowledgement and noticed the cuts and bruises on Octavia’s arms and face. With slight amusement she realized Octavia must still be training with her warriors.

She looked around the group of young people that seemed to be less talkative and energized than she remembered them.

“It is good to see all of you again,” Lexa said to them after a few moments, softening her facial expression slightly.

“Commander,” Raven smiled. They all mumbled something alike, but barely took their eyes off their plates. Something was off, Lexa knew. She had expected Clarke to be with her friends after she had not found her at the table with her mother.

“Might any of you be able to tell me where Clarke is?” she asked, shifting her gaze to Octavia who had silently sat back down. No one answered for a while.

“She’s in her room,” Octavia said after a few seconds. This answer wasn’t completely satisfying to Lexa, as it seemed weird for people to be so unwilling to speak about it if Clarke was merely taking a nap or doing whatever in her room.

Bellamy stood up, having not taken a bite of his food since the Commander had walked up to them. Raven held onto the shirt on Bellamy’s arm as she pulled herself up as well.

“Clarke hasn’t been…feeling well,” Raven spoke up before Bellamy could say anything, always finding it easier to talk to the Commander of the Grounders than any of the Skaikru had. She had confidence, defiance, and Lexa respected her for keeping it in check towards her. Bellamy was staring off to something on the ground a little farther away with an emotionless expression on his face, and Lexa’s suspicion that something was wrong with Clarke was almost confirmed by this.

She was about to order him to take her to Clarke’s residence when Octavia stood up again.

“If you wish, I can take you to her room, Heda,” she said quietly, not looking anyone in the eye. Bellamy started to protest and grabbed Octavia’s arm. Jasper cut in.

“Are you sure that’s a good idea?” he asked grimly. “No offense, Commander,” he added, looking at Lexa’s hardened face.

“O, remember what the Chancellor said. Abby’s not going to like it if you do this,” Bellamy told his sister with slight anger and concern in his voice.

“I know what Abby said,” Octavia responded, pissed off at her brother. “But we both know that if the Commander of the twelve clans ordered me to take her to Clarke, I would obey her order over Abby’s.” Octavia glanced at Lincoln and then at Lexa, waiting for a response.

_Had the Chancellor really ordered Clarke’s friends to leave Clarke alone?_ Clarke had fought to get her friends back, and now that she had them back, Lexa found it odd that she was not amongst them. Stranger even, that they had been requested to leave her alone and that the group seemed to - reluctantly - accept this.  
Lexa felt a need to defy Abby’s order; she was the Commander and if she wanted to meet with Clarke, she would. However, she felt it would do no good to her status with the Sky people or the Chancellor if she would force them to take her to the Sky Princess now.

“Continue with you meal, Skaikru,” Lexa said to the group. She took a few steps away from them and beckoned Octavia.  
“Does Clarke still reside in the same room as she did when I left?”Lexa asked her, quiet enough so the others wouldn’t hear. Octavia nodded. Lexa thanked her with a slight nod of her own. Then she walked off, grabbed a plate and some food and made her way to her tent outside of Camp Jaha’s gates. 

 

 

Inside her tent, finally alone and away from the crowd’s eyes and respectful murmurs of ‘Heda’, Lexa set her food on the table and slumped down in a chair. She looked at the dried meat on her plate and felt no urge to eat. Even so, she knew she needed her strength and tossed a few berries in her mouth before standing up. She grabbed a bowl of water and a cloth, took off the jacket she had been wearing and sat down again. She washed her hands and arms, wiping off the dirt from the horse ride and taking off the remaining lines of war paint on her face.  
Her mind wandered to Clarke. She had hoped to share this meal with her, since the war was over and things were finally calming down. She had wished to invite Clarke to Polis in return, to throw a feast and celebrate it with all of their people. But Clarke wasn’t there. She was in her room. And so Lexa retired to her own tent as well, not caring what her people or the Sky people would say.

_For there is no reason for me to be out there anymore_.

 

* * *

 

It was almost dark when Lexa left her tent. She walked back in through the gates of Camp Jaha. Most people had retired to their tents, with the exception of a few who sat around the fire, talking and some drinking. She noticed Indra talking to Nyko.

“Naikou,” Lexa said, walking up to them.

“Heda,” Nyko greeted her.

“How are the wounded?” she asked him, not wanting to immediately jump to the question that was burning on her mind.

“They are alive, and most are regaining strength, Heda,” he answered.

“Good,” Lexa answered. Indra looked at the Commander and when she received a nod from Lexa she knew she was dismissed and walked off.

“You have been here while I was gone, Nyko. I have been made aware that Clarke has stayed in her room tonight. Is this because she does not wish to meet with me?” Lexa asked him. She had begun fearing that perhaps Clarke had not wanted to see Lexa, and that no one had dared to tell her for fear of her reaction. Nyko sighed, looking at his feet.

“No, Heda,” he said. When she looked at him for further explanation, he continued. “In fact, many of us were hoping she would appear today if she knew of your arrival. To my regret, she has not left her room tonight. As she hasn’t for many days.”

“How many days?” Lexa asked, feeling sick in her stomach.

“Not since you left for TonDC, Heda. She helped out in the Medical Bay with the wounded for two days after the Mountain fell. Then she retired to her room one day and after that I did not see her with the wounded again.”

 

* * *

 

Bellamy sat at the fire, his hands around a cup of the latest version of Monty’s Moonshine. Across him, some of the hundred were talking with the occasional sound of laughter. He felt a little angry towards them. They barely deserved to have a good time when Clarke, who got them out of the mountain, was not even with them.  
Bellamy and the others had tried talking to Clarke, forgiving her every time she apologized. They had tried comforting her when she was slipping away in the grief and anger that they all felt - although none of their pain could be compared to Clarke’s, Bellamy knew that.

While many felt a new sense of happiness and relief after the Mountain had fallen, Clarke hadn’t shown any pride over the victory. And they watched her suffer, they watched her drown and become an empty shell of nothing, until eventually Abby told them to leave Clarke alone. She needed time, Abby had said, time to grief and come to terms with what had happened. Bellamy had been angry, they had all been angry, since they were convinced letting Clarke isolate herself was not a good move. But they knew there was nothing they could do. If Clarke wanted to be among her friends, they were there for her. But days passed without Clarke coming to see them, and Bellamy almost felt abandoned by his friend. 

When Lexa walked up to him, he didn’t look up as she sat next to him. The Commander of the twelve clans was sitting next to him, and Bellamy didn’t even feel the need to say anything. He wondered if that had anything to do with what he had been drinking. Lexa raised her own cup to her mouth as she stared into the fire and seemed content to keep quiet as well. Bellamy knew then, they were two people both missing the company of someone who was their friend. Both worried about someone they cared for.

“We do care about her, you know,” he spoke after a while. “We tried to make her feel better, to comfort her, be there for her.”  
Lexa didn’t speak. Instead, she took another sip of the drink that burned nicely down her throat.

“When she was sad or angry, we understood. We all suffered losses. But then one day, she just became empty. Like we’d lost her.” He paused and let silence envelop them again before continuing. “Maybe we just don’t know how to help. I wish we could. I wish anyone could.”  
They sat near the fire in silence for a little longer, and when Lexa finished her drink, she stood up. She looked at the dark-haired Sky boy.

“I understand.” 

 

* * *

 

Lexa retreated to her tent. She would try to sleep. Her mind ached to go see Clarke, but something held her back. Maybe it was the fact that she didn’t want to admit to herself that she cared for Clarke. If that was the case, she would most definitely not want to show that to anyone.  
_Love is weakness_ , she had told Clarke. And she saw that now in Bellamy again; the boy was weakening due to the love for his friend.  
As she got under the furs on her bed, she remembered Clarke stabbing the murderer Finn with tears in her eyes, and TonDC burning and Clarke running into the explosion to save her mother. _Love is weakness_ , she had proven again.  
And then she had kissed Clarke. Clarke had become her weakness, but she was determined to hide that. Going out there to find Clarke in the evening hours when she should be sleeping would definitely prove that it was a weakness though, wouldn’t it? 

Yes, it would.

So when Lexa got out of bed after an hour of worrying, she fought back those thoughts of weakness as best as she could.


	2. Metal Walls Kill the Soul

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Brace yourselves for broken Clarke and caring Lexa.

It was dark outside. The guard positioned outside her tent automatically followed her at a respectable distance. The skies were clear and the temperature felt pleasantly cool on Lexa’s skin.

The guards at the gate of Camp Jaha looked at them hesitantly, but did nothing to stop her. She entered the Ark building, telling her guard to stay outside, and walked through the corridor that led to the bunkers.

 

 

Abby was on a night shift in Medical, taking care of one of the cuts on Octavia’s arm, when she noticed the Commander of the grounders walking through the hall. For a second she was startled by the sight, wondering what she was doing here. It occurred to her that Lexa might be searching for Clarke and she immediately dropped Octavia’s arm to go after her. Octavia had noticed though, and she stopped her with a firm hand on Abby’s arm. Octavia shook her head. Abby’s mind and heart raced. She did not like the Commander very much, and had no reason to trust her with her daughter.

“Abby. It’s been over a week. Let Heda try.” 

 

 

Lexa walked passed closed doors in the hall, confident in knowing where Clarke’s room was. She had walked these halls before she left for TonDC, and had watched Clarke enter her room on various occasions. She had seen a glimpse of the accommodations of the Sky people, and she found it harder to breathe when she imagined living in such a cramped space.

She halted in front of a grey door. There was a handle on the door which allowed it to slide open. As she reached for the handle, she prayed to herself that this was indeed the right room and that she wouldn’t walk in on some random Sky people doing their private business.

As the door slid open though, she saw something that made her feel even sicker. A lump formed in her throat and a musty smell reached her nose. The room was covered with drawings in black and red - some of it on torn pages of paper, most of it on the floor and walls - while pieces of charcoal lay scattered over the floor. For a moment Lexa marveled at the drawings; she recognized the war and terror that was reflected in them.

The sky girl sat on her bed, shoulders hunched, with her back to the door, staring off into nothingness. Her hair was tangled and the shirt she was wearing was in worse condition than Lexa remembered it being. 

“Clarke?” Lexa asked, tears starting to press at the back of her eyes. Clarke made no movement, she just sat there. Lexa took a step into the room.

“Clarke.” Her voice almost cracked as she stepped closer to the Sky girl. Clarke seemed to be entranced. She didn’t move, she didn’t even blink. Lexa leveled their eye contact, and even as she looked into Clarke’s eyes, Clarke seemed to stare into nothingness. Her face was empty of emotions, and Lexa missed the fire in her eyes.

She reached out, carefully placing her hand on Clarke’s shoulder. Clarke flinched violently at the contact, and as her eyes started focusing she screamed some sort of bloodthirsty war cry, grabbing Lexa’s neck and digging her fingernails in. This took Lexa by surprise, but as she saw Clarke’s eyes finally recognizing her, she didn’t fight back. Clarke’s face suddenly flashed with anger and pain, and Lexa was just glad that the hollowness in her eyes seemed to disappear.

“Hey,” Lexa whispered, failing to keep the concerned look off her face. She reached for Clarke’s cheek and watched the blue eyes dart back and forth. 

 

 

Abby had heard her daughter’s scream. Most people in the Ark had heard Clarke scream, but it had become something they were used to hearing at night. Clarke regularly woke up from nightmares, and as was often Raven stumbled in to try and soothe her friend. However, standing in the doorway, she saw Lexa’s hand on Clarke’s cheek and she held her breath, feeling some sort of newfound respect for the Commander. Abby came rushing down the hallway towards Clarke’s door, but Raven stopped her from going in. 

Lexa glanced towards the doorway, reluctantly taking her eyes off Clarke’s, and Raven got the message.

“I think it’s okay,” Raven whispered. Abby looked at them, surprised at what she saw. Somehow Raven eventually managed to convince her to leave the two and followed her back down the hallway.

 

 

Lexa looked around the room again. It was starting to feel like a suffocating cage and her stomach twisted at the thought that Clarke had been in here for days. There was no way the Sky girl was going to find any peace in this room.

“Come with me,” Lexa said, standing up and taking the sky girl’s hand.

“Why,” Clarke said, barely a question and more as a statement that there was no reason to leave.

“Because I need your spirit to stay where it is,” she answered, repeating what Clarke had told her not too long ago, “and it seems like it will wither away and die in this room if you stay here any longer.”

“You don’t need my spirit anymore, Commander,” Clarke said emotionlessly, and Lexa invisibly twitched at Clarke calling her by her title and not using her name like she used to, “the war is over.” In Clarke’s head, it really made sense that way. The war was over - she didn’t need the Commander and her army anymore, and Lexa sure as hell didn’t need her and the sky people anymore.

“That’s not what I meant, Clarke.”

Silence enveloped them again and Lexa kept finding it harder to breathe. She was not sure if it was because of the brooding room or the painful look of the girl in front of her. Either way, she needed to get Clarke out of here. 

Lexa didn’t speak nor think as she picked Clarke up off the bed, and carried her out of the room without effort. At least, she tried to make it seem effortless. When Clarke realized what was happening, she wanted to object and struggle out of Lexa’s arms. But she didn’t find the energy or will, and instead settled for resting one arm around Lexa’s shoulders. She tried to say something, but it got stuck in her throat. As she looked at Lexa’s face, she saw lines of war paint form around the green eyes. She saw the forest on fire, and as Lexa looked down at her, she saw the only person that could ever make her feel safe. The only person who would ever be strong enough to do that.

Lexa, however, felt weak as she carried Clarke down the corridors of the Ark. She felt a dull ache in her heart, seeing Clarke like this. The Sky girl had been so brave, so courageous, so _strong_. Lexa knew she still was, even if Clarke had given into the pain for now. She remembered a saying in her language: _A warrior doesn’t mourn the dead until the war is over_. The war was over now, and she knew Clarke was grieving in the worst ways possible. She knew because she had gone through a similar thing after Costia was taken from her.

It was a good thing it was nighttime and the Ark people had retired to their rooms. The last thing Lexa wanted to show the Skaikru was their leader being carried in her arms in this weakened state. She was sure Clarke felt the same way, and she silently wondered if that was the reason the girl had hidden in her room. To spare her people from the sight, to keep her brokenness to herself. It was what Lexa would do herself, she realized.

Her arms burned under the weight she carried, but she barely noticed it. All she cared for was getting Clarke out of here, out of these metal walls that had trapped her inside.

Lexa’s guard that had been waiting for her outside, hid his surprise as best as he could when he saw his Commander carrying the Sky Princess. He offered to take the girl from her with a quiet “Heda”, but Lexa shook her head. This was delicate, and Lexa would only allow Clarke to be held in her own arms. 

Once outside, Clarke noticed how good the cool air felt on her skin. She suddenly fully realized what was happening, and she felt stupid at being carried like a wounded child.

“I can walk,” Clarke said hoarsely.

“You don’t have to.”

But Clarke shifted in Lexa’s arms, and Lexa unwillingly set her down. Her legs felt wobbly but she didn’t care. For a moment Clarke felt the urgent need to go back to her room, but as she was about to turn around Lexa took her arm. She felt uncertain of what to do when the Commander, eyes glistening in the dark, just looked at her. Clarke could almost feel herself slip back into a dreamlike state, as it felt unreal to be standing out here with her. Lexa noticed and turned to her guard.

“Bring me my horse,” she told him. As soon as he did, she mounted and motioned him to reach Clarke up to her. Clarke had been impassive but as soon as she felt the grounder carefully attempt to lift her up, she fought out of his arms and gave him a deadly look. She looked up at Lexa, who almost felt like smiling at her familiar stubbornness, and settled for placing one of her feet in the guard’s hands. He pushed her up as Clarke reached awkwardly for the horse’s mane, and Lexa pulled her up in front of her.

When Clarke finally sat comfortably and relaxed a little, Lexa wrapped one of her arms around her waist, and holding the reins with the other, she led the horse out of the gates. 

Everything still felt surreal to Clarke as they rode out of the camp under the stars. Lexa glanced back and told her guard to stay at the edge of the grounder camp. As the horse walked through the tall grass, Clarke eventually allowed herself to lean into the woman behind her. She fought the urge to rest her head against Lexa’s shoulder.

The night air cooled her skin and Clarke felt a sense of relief. She hadn’t realized until now how badly she wanted to get away from the camp, to get away from the painful looks on her friends’ faces, from her mother the Chancellor, from the guilt she felt towards all of the people there, and from her room that had started to resemble what it looked like in her head.

Lexa felt Clarke relax into her and allowed an inaudible sigh of relief. She tightened her arm around the Sky girl, wanting to keep her as close as possible, as if it would save her from everything that could possibly hurt her. Bringing her head closer to the blonde’s ear, she softly said, “It’s okay, Clarke.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear I try to keep them in character, but this is where the story took me. We all know Clarke's strong; don't worry. I've got this. But I'm really enjoying this comforting side of the Commander, though.


	3. Of Stars and Sorrows

They rode until Lexa could no longer make out the shapes of people moving around the camp by the fire. She brought the horse to a stop in the middle of a clearing. For a moment she thought Clarke might have fallen asleep against her, but as she was considering what to do, Clarke shifted her weight.

“Can’t we ride on?” Clarke asked, feeling the need to get even farther away from everything and already missing the calming, rocking motion of the horse’s movement.

“It would not be wise at night,” Lexa answered, while making sure Clarke was supporting herself enough to sit up and then throwing her own leg over the horse to dismount. She decided against explaining any further, since she was sure Clarke knew of the dangers lurking in the woods, and she didn’t feel like the Sky girl was in need of idle conversation.

When Lexa got off the horse and went to hold the reins, Clarke swung her leg over the horse as well and dropped next to Lexa. The grounder had her arm ready to catch Clarke if she fell, but the Sky girl found her footing fast enough to avoid falling over altogether. Still, Lexa got a hold of her arm and Clarke stiffened. Lexa looked at her, eyes full of concern, and carefully let her arm go. She cursed to herself, fearing that she had scared Clarke off.

Clarke’s eyes had gone wide with instant defensiveness, and she felt her body instinctively tense at the hold on her arm. It took a second to fade, but when it did and Lexa removed her hand, she noticed to her surprise that she missed the warm touch of the grounder.

So while Lexa was looking at the horse that had started munching on the grass, Clarke carefully reached out for her hand. Her trembling fingers brushed down Lexa’s palm and tightened around her fingers. Lexa’s hand was softer than Clarke had expected, and the warmth of it was pleasant, comforting. 

Lexa felt a warmth in her stomach as her fingers intertwined with Clarke’s, and she looked at the blonde, whose eyes were still as blue in the darkness. She could almost see the universe hidden behind the dark pupils, but there was an emptiness in them that made her feel sad in her heart. So she relished in Clarke’s touch, and gently held onto the thought that the leader was still in there, reaching out to her.

 

 

They walked a few steps away from the horse, which seemed content to munch on the grass in the area. Clarke was looking at the ground, following Lexa’s feet. Her mind was still tired, but it was calmer now. It felt like Lexa had taken her away from all the restlessness that had plagued her, like she had taken Clarke out of the hollow pain and into the peaceful night air. 

Even so, there was a feeling of shame pressing against her consciousness and it made her want to hide in some isolated place where no one could see her. She was ashamed that Lexa had found her so empty and broken, especially after she had tried to be a leader and had at some point almost considered herself Lexa’s equal in light of the alliance. It made her stomach turn at what Lexa must think of her now, seeing her like this. 

Clarke stopped walking and Lexa immediately did as well, not wanting to pull on Clarke’s hand as she still held on.

“I’m sorry,” Clarke whispered after a few seconds, barely loud enough for Lexa to hear.

“There’s nothing to apologize for, Clarke,” the commander responded, assuming she was talking of her current state. Lexa paused. “Grieving is a normal part of life. It’s only to be treated the right way… To be comforted the right way.”

Clarke swallowed. Was Lexa trying to… _comfort_ her? At least it was working better than all of her friends’ attempts, no matter how good their intentions had been.

She looked at the grounder’s face, her features standing out in the moonlight. It seemed surreal that Lexa was standing here with her. She had been sure that the commander would’ve been disappointed enough in her lacking strength to not want to be seen with her anymore. 

“Why are you here?” she asked, feeling not worthy of the attention she was receiving and slightly angry at herself for sinking so low.

“I had a meeting with the Sky council today.”

Clarke shook her head. “No, why are you _here_?” 

Lexa’s eyes fluttered to the ground as she realized what she was about to answer.

“Because I care,” she said in a quiet voice. Lexa bit on her tongue in an attempt to ignore the feeling of vulnerability in this moment. Not too long ago she had told Clarke to stop caring for people, and here she was, admitting her weakness to the girl her heart ached for.

Clarke felt her legs become unsteady. She had known Lexa had cared for her since the missile hit TonDC and she had kissed her in the privacy of her tent, but hearing her say it just made it so much more real. 

Clarke realized she had forced the memory of that day away and it had been drowned in grief to the point that she thought it had been part of the war. The war was over now, and all she could do was mourn what was lost. But Lexa was still there. Her feelings were still there. 

Suddenly she felt the need to be closer to Lexa. To be comforted by the physical presence of the commander. Clarke stepped forward and buried her head in between Lexa’s neck and shoulder, breathing in the warmth that radiated off her skin. She gripped the sides of Lexa’s shirt with her hands like she was afraid to lose her and Lexa held her close. 

Clarke didn’t cry - she just felt the other girl’s body against her own. This was real, they were real and they were alive. They shared a quiet moment of realization, of pain and companionship, as Lexa found herself receiving just as much comfort from the embrace as Clarke did. 

_I missed you_ , Clarke wanted to say. _I missed your eyes and your smile and your voice_ , but the words got stuck in her throat and she decided to keep quiet instead.

Clarke’s grip on Lexa’s shirt softened, but neither tried to let go. Clarke felt something that seemed like bliss after days of pain and emptiness. It was warm, and smelled of pine and smoke. It smelled of Lexa and she relished in the sweet scent. Her hold was soft but strong, and it made tears want to crawl out of Clarke’s eyes for no specific reason.

 

She let go of Lexa’s shirt to move her arms around the warrior and embrace her properly, but Lexa took hold of her hands. She led Clarke a few steps further and looked towards the camp in the distance. 

“Sit with me,” she told Clarke and sat down on the ground, crossing her legs. She looked up at Clarke, eyes calm and caring. Clarke huddled down against her and leaned into the warrior’s side. Lexa wrapped one of her arms around the sky girl, both in comfort and approval of their closeness. 

Lexa’s hand brushed back a strand of Clarke’s hair, slowly, treasuring every touch like it could be her last one. Clarke’s eyes were half closed as she tried to listen for the commander’s distant heartbeat. She was human. It scared Clarke to think of - she could just lose Lexa in the blink of an eye like so many others had been lost. Yet somehow, this girl who people called _Heda_ and obeyed without question, was sitting here with her under the stars after they had led an army and survived a war together.

Lexa looked at the sky. Thousands of stars were visible and as always, it made her feel small. The earth was large and the universe was larger, yet somehow this girl from the sky had found her way to her. She was like a precious gift and Lexa felt guilt rising as she thought of the pain Clarke had been through. She had been thrown into a war the moment she arrived on earth, had suffered losses of the people closest to her. And now it had almost broken her. She looked at the sky girl.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered, barely moving her lips. Clarke shifted her weight off Lexa’s shoulder and saw Lexa’s eyes frantically searching hers with the deepest emotion Clarke had ever seen her express. Lexa paused, trying to keep her voice from breaking. 

“I never meant to turn you into this.”

The tears that had been prodding at the back of Clarke’s eyes started falling then. Lexa’s heart ached. She sat up straight, facing the blue eyes next to her. 

“I’m sorry, Clarke,” Lexa whispered again. Clarke didn’t sob, but the tears kept rolling out of her eyes and over her face. For some reason, seeing Lexa like this caused a dull ache in the sky girl’s chest and arms. She knew she should speak but no words would come, so she just stared at the green eyes in front of her. 

Lexa watched the stars reflect in Clarke’s eyes. As she saw the tears still rolling down her face, Lexa wanted to do nothing more than to take her pain away. She just wanted to make it disappear. 

So she did the only thing she could think of. She lifted her fingers to Clarke’s chin and lightly brushed her lips against the blonde’s cheek before moving her head ever so slightly to place another kiss not far from it. Clarke felt a fluttering in her stomach as Lexa carefully started kissing the tears away. She felt the grounder hesitantly place another kiss when she didn’t move away. 

“I’m so sorry,” Lexa kept whispering as her lips brushed against her skin. Clarke felt the blood rushing to her face. The pain she had been feeling numbed to a soft pressure in her chest, and it was quickly replaced with something that made her feel warm inside.

Lexa’s nose softly brushed against the side of Clarke’s face as she felt the blonde’s breath against her neck. She moved slightly away to see Clarke staring at her with parted, trembling lips. She moved her other hand to the back of Clarke’s neck, and when the sky girl leaned into it, carefully laid her down into the grass on her back. 

Lexa moved back to her cheek when another tear rolled out, although this one was the result of overwhelming feelings rather than grief. She slowly trailed down one side of her face, only coming close to the corners of her mouth. And Clarke could do nothing but stay still in awe, captivated by the feeling, fearing that any movement could end the moment. She felt Lexa move to the other cheek to gently kiss away those tears, moving up to her brow and then towards her ear.

“It’s okay, Clarke,” she whispered, before leaving one final, gentle kiss on the girl’s jaw. Then she moved to lie beside the girl who was still staring at her with dilated pupils, and moved her arms to embrace her. Clarke felt loved as they looked at the stars she had fallen from.

 

* * *

 

She had fallen into a calming state between sleep and awareness, hanging on to the feeling of Lexa’s body against her and the way it made her feel safe. Looking at the stars through half opened eyes, she wanted to stay in this moment for as long as she could. 

The longer she looked at the sky, the more stars she could see. The universe was endless, and she knew that some time ago, she had been up there among those stars. But not anymore; she was down here with Lexa now and everything was going to be alright. 

Lexa had moved her gaze from the sky down to the girl beside her. She studied every inch of Clarke’s face she could see in the faint moonlight, and watched her chest steadily move up and down while she breathed. _Existence_ , Lexa thought. _That’s the best thing about her_.

The air was starting to get cooler, and Lexa knew it was getting close to midnight. As much as she didn’t want to disturb their peaceful moment, she knew they could not stay out here all night, let alone sleep out in the open. 

“Clarke,” she said softly. The girl did not react, but Lexa knew she could hear her. “It is time for us to leave.”

Clarke’s hands slightly tightened their hold on Lexa.

“I don’t want to go back,” she said, dreading her return to the Ark and the room she had spent the last week in.

“You can stay with me, if you would like.”

Clarke wanted nothing more.


	4. Your Hands Remind Me of Mine

They rode back into the grounder camp around the Ark. After her guard took Lexa’s horse, she led Clarke to her tent. She was pleased to find that food had been set out on her table, and that the bowl of water had been refilled with clean water. 

“Eat,” Lexa said gently, gesturing to the fruit and beef jerky on the plates. Clarke sat at the table, and noticed how fresh and colorful the food looked. She was tired but her stomach was empty, so she slowly started eating.

“Tell me of TonDC,” Clarke said. Lexa looked up, nodded, and took a seat next to her at the table. 

For a moment she hesitated, trying to choose her words carefully in an attempt not to remind the sky girl too much of the destruction the missile had left. The missile they had escaped. The missile that still kept Lexa awake at night with guilt, no matter how much she reminded herself that they had made the right choice.

But Clarke had asked, and so she told.

“The people are faring well. Many warriors have returned to their families,” she swallowed here, because that was partly a lie - many didn’t have a family to return to after the missile, “and the trade with your people has proven to be very valuable.” She took a berry in her mouth as a distraction, giving herself time to think before continuing. “A medical area has been set up, I will send Nyko soon to teach the healers there about the medical knowledge he has gained here. I think the people will greatly benefit from it.”

Clarke hummed, apparently showing her agreement.

“Other than that, hunting parties have been going out again. So far they have proved to be quite successful, especially without the constant threat of reapers. In fact, there’s currently an abundance of fur pelts. Enough to have you made a warm cloak.”

Clarke looked up in surprise, the hint of a small smile playing on her lips.

“Or…a coat. Or at least a pair of warm boots. I’d rather not have you freeze when it gets colder.”

 

 

A little while later, Lexa made her way over to the bowl of water and brought it to the table where Clarke was sitting.  
“Will you let me clean you?”

Slightly taken aback by the sudden request, Clarke looked up from the food to the commander who was standing beside her only a few feet away. Suddenly she felt ashamed. She hadn’t had a proper bath in a week and her cheeks were probably still stained with traces of the tears she had shed earlier. She blushed in shame and looked at the ground, away from Lexa, who saw the reddening of the girl’s ears. 

Lexa took the rag and submerged it in the water. She silently took a step closer towards Clarke who was still sitting in the chair, and took one of her hands in her own.

Clarke kept her eyes on her hands as Lexa gently started cleaning her palm. The way she held her hand open with one hand, palm facing upwards, and used the other to smooth the damp rag over her fingers was so gentle that Clarke forgot this was the same commander who she had once thought ruthless. The nerve endings in her hand felt incredibly sensitive to every touch. The girl in front of her seemed to know that, as she carefully - almost _lovingly_ , Clarke thought - cleaned each finger with the utmost care. 

_From one killer’s hands to another's._

When she laid down Clarke’s hand and reached for the other one, Clarke did not fight it. As she repeated the process on her left hand, the sky girl still kept her eyes on the hands cleaning hers. 

When Lexa finished, she rinsed the cloth in the bowl of water. She looked at the quiet blonde in front of her who still had her eyes down. Standing next to her, she took hold of Clarke’s chin and carefully lifted her face up, using the other hand to slowly clean the side of her face with the cloth.

Clarke’s eyes fluttered towards Lexa’s, but the Commander deliberately had her eyes focused on the cheek she was cleaning. Clarke silently appreciated this. It gave her the chance to study the brunette’s face without feeling overwhelmed like she did when Lexa looked her in the eyes. 

When Lexa moved to her other cheek, she did meet Clarke’s eyes. They were soft, fragile and it made Clarke’s chest flutter. She almost forgot how to breathe and wanted nothing more than to fall _into_ this girl, to let her embrace everything she was. 

Lexa slowly moved the cloth down Clarke’s neck, over her collarbone. She kept her hand away from the blonde’s shirt, only cleaning the exposed areas. It felt intimate doing this, but she made sure to be as careful as possible to not overstep any boundaries. She was content with the level of affection Clarke was allowing her to give, and she felt only glad that she was letting her. 

Eventually Lexa's hand made it back up to Clarke’s face, and Clarke moved her own hand up to cover hers. She watched breathlessly as the sky girl looked up at her. Lexa knew she was tired; perhaps not physically but certainly mentally.

“You should sleep,” she said. 

 

 

Clarke followed Lexa to the back of the tent, and Lexa moved the cloth entrance aside. A large, comfortable looking bed stood in the smaller area, covered with furs. Clarke’s jaw dropped as she imagined the soft and comfortable feeling of it compared to her own sturdy bed in the Ark. 

Lexa saw the twinkle in Clarke’s eyes and smiled. She pulled off her own belt and outer shirt, leaving her in a tank top and shorts, while Clarke removed her boots. She smiled again when she saw the sky girl still standing in the same spot with the same dreamy gaze on the bed. She took hold of Clarke’s hand and pulled back the cover of furs.

“Come on. It’s okay.”

Clarke could barely focus and was too intrigued by the warm looking bed that she didn’t linger on the thought that entered her head: _The Commander is inviting me into her bed_. She crawled in and sighed happily when the bed was as warm and comfortable as she had imagined. The smell of Lexa covered the furs and it was wonderful.

For a moment Lexa watched Clarke from the side of the bed, and thought about what she was doing. She briefly considered letting Clarke sleep on her own in her bed, but pushed that thought aside with a ‘ _I am Heda, I will sleep in my own bed_ ’. So she crawled in as well on the opposite side of the bed. 

There was a moment of silence as Lexa blew out the candle near her bedside, and turned to get comfortable. 

“Lexa?”

“Hm?”

“Can I… Would you…”

But Lexa understood and reached for her hands, pulling her closer. Clarke barely hesitated before resting against her, to which Lexa embraced her. Her hand moved onto Lexa’s stomach, gently holding onto her shirt if only for the simple need of physical, human comfort. Clarke tucked her head underneath Lexa’s chin and breathed in the warm, familiar scent. She closed her eyes and let it guide her into sleep.

Lexa breathed in deeply, allowing herself to appreciate this small moment of contentment. Clarke was curled into her. Although she had long not slept with another in her arms, she did not mind it. Not tonight. Not with Clarke.

 

* * *

 

Lexa awoke with a start when she felt something kicking against her. She immediately reacted by grabbing her dagger and spinning around to face the attacker. She found none, except for Clarke thrashing around in the bed, trembling and legs kicking in panic. Her eyes were still closed but her face held a tense frown. The sheets were a mess and her shirt was damp with sweat as it clung to her body. As the shaking got worse, Clarke started whimpering unintelligible words and Lexa grabbed a hold of her. 

“Clarke.” Lexa rolled over and took a hold of her face with one hand. “Clarke. Wake up,” she said, while sitting up and holding down the shaking body by partially covering it with her own.

Clarke’s eyes flared open as she gulped for air. There didn’t seem to be enough oxygen in the entire room and even though she had awoken, the fear of her nightmare still rushed through her.

“It was a dream. Clarke. You must calm down.” Only then did Clarke notice that Lexa was beside her, and partially on top of her, and her eyes frantically found green ones.

“Breathe, Clarke.” Lexa shifted her weight off her body, and held the girl’s hand against her own chest. “It’s okay, I’m here. Just breathe,” she said, inhaling and exhaling and urging Clarke to do the same. 

The shaking breaths took a while to subside, but eventually Clarke managed to copy Lexa’s rhythm. Although it was dark, her eyes never left Lexa’s and she firmly held on to her hand. 

The adrenaline was still rushing through Lexa’s body from the startled wake. She decided not to ask about Clarke’s dream, for it would probably do no good for the girl to recall the visions that had brought her distress. Besides, she had a fairly good idea of what Clarke’s night terrors held, and it didn’t need any explanation. 

So instead, she settled down next to Clarke again and remained silent, giving the girl the opportunity to calm down and go back to sleep. 

Clarke’s eyes remained open for a long time. She stared at the roof of the tent, catching glimpses of moonlight through the slits of the fabric. Even though she was silent, Lexa could sense that she was awake. She turned over and faced Clarke.

Clarke swallowed, feeling Lexa’s gaze on her. 

“I can’t sleep.”

“You see them in your dreams,” Lexa stated quietly. Clarke didn’t reply.

“I know what it’s like, fearing sleep because of the terrors that haunt you. When not a night passes without their faces. When you can’t find peace in sleep.” Lexa paused. She knew that all too well. “You need to rest, Clarke. You’ll be safe here.” 

Silence.

“The nights are the worst, you know. When it’s quiet and there’s nothing to stop them from taking over your thoughts,” Clarke said. 

Lexa felt no need to say ‘I know’ or ‘I understand’. Clarke knew Lexa understood like no one else of their people did.

“How long until they go away?” Clarke asked. It was quiet for a while, and just as Clarke was accepting that she probably wasn’t going to get an answer, Lexa’s soft voice broke the silence.

“I’ll let you know when I find out.”

The bed moved as Clarke rolled onto her side to face Lexa. She reached out to Lexa’s face and brushed back a strand of hair. Her fingers traced down the sides and over the edges of her jaw, studying the face that could change from a strong leader’s into that of a young girl. The skin was soft under her hand and she felt every defined line that made up her features. She felt the images of the dead finally being pushed from her mind, and instead be replaced by the reassuring sound of Lexa’s steady breathing and the soft look in her eyes that radiated with understanding.

Lexa didn’t move as Clarke pressed her lips to the corner of her mouth. Clarke slowly pulled back and looked at her, trying to hide the sorrow in her eyes. 

“Distract me.” Her whisper sounded vulnerable, and almost like a question. 

It took all of Lexa’s self-restraint to voice her thoughts and not mindlessly accept Clarke’s plea. 

“I will, if it brings you comfort. You can take from me what you need. Yet I have to know if I all you want from me is a distraction. I care for you, Clarke.” She paused, letting the words ring in the air and making Clarke realize the depth of them. “You require comfort and healing, but I would not want to use that as an excuse to satisfy my own desire to be with you. It would be unfair to take advantage of your wounded heart.”

Lexa’s words send a shiver of adoration through Clarke. Although she had found great comfort in the warm feeling of the girl’s touch, Clarke knew that she felt more than physical attraction towards Lexa. Lexa was only able to comfort her this way because Clarke allowed her to, because she _wanted_ her to.

But perhaps it wasn’t just Lexa’s comfort she was seeking. Because for some reason, merely being near her brought her enough comfort as it was. And so she formulated the words in her mind to convince Lexa that she was more than simply a distraction. That she wanted more from her than simply a distraction.

“I owe nothing to my people anymore. The dead are gone, and I don’t owe anything to them anymore,” she whispered, swallowing away the lump in her throat. “But after all this, I think I owe it to my heart to be with you.” 

Lexa felt a smile tug on her lips at Clarke’s words. She leaned in and kissed her lips softly with all the love and care she felt. 

“Then be with me.” 

Her lips found Clarke’s again, longer this time. For a moment Clarke just enjoyed the soft feeling of them. She returned the kiss as Lexa leaned her head sideways. It was slow and it was careful and it was every promise of a future they both shared. Lexa’s nose brushed Clarke’s teasingly before she gave her another kiss. 

Clarke smiled. The feeling of love overwhelmed her once again and she never wanted this perfect moment to end. Her hand moved over Lexa’s face, down her neck and over her shoulder. Their mouths connected again - although both could swear it was more than just their mouths that connected - and they got lost in the feeling of each other’s lips on one another. Clarke felt her breath get caught in her throat of their closeness, of their connection. After all this suffering, after all this pain and death, how was kissing Lexa the only definition of peace she needed?

Lexa rolled onto her back when Clarke pushed back against her. She placed a kiss on the lower side of Lexa’s mouth, and trailed down the side of her chin with soft kisses until she reached her neck.

Lexa felt a short burst of fluttering in her stomach, and couldn’t help the soft gasp that escaped her mouth. It had been so long since she had felt loved like this. So long since someone had cared to express sincere affection for her. 

For a second Clarke buried her face into her neck as she inhaled deeply, savoring the warm feeling. Then she moved her mouth along Lexa’s pulse point and kissed back up the side of her face.

Pulling back, she saw Lexa’s dark eyes focused on her. For a moment Clarke wondered if all of this was real. It felt too good to be real, to have Lexa right here beside her, their bodies softly pressed against each other in the comfort of the night. But all of those thoughts faded away when Lexa switched their positions and covered her upper body with her own, their lips still locked in a series of tender, warm kisses. 

Now that Clarke’s head was resting on the pillow, Lexa deepened the kiss. Her tongue brushed lazily but with precision against Clarke’s lower lip, asking for entrance. A soft moan escaped Clarke and was eagerly swallowed by Lexa when she felt her tongue brush against her own. Her stomach started fluttering and she pulled Lexa closer against her by the small of her back.

The feeling of bliss overtook them both and she felt Lexa gasp into her mouth. Clarke’s hand made her way from Lexa’s lower back towards the front of her stomach. She could swear she felt the abs underneath flexing, and _oh god_ \- she wanted to feel them on her bare skin so much. Yet it wasn’t so much desire that made her hand move under Lexa’s shirt and stroke the bare skin of her toned stomach. No - it was the longing to feel intimate with her. The need to be closer with her. 

Lexa exhaled softly in delight when she felt Clarke’s knuckles brush over her skin. She moved her own hand to cover Clarke’s and held it against her stomach. She gave Clarke a gentle kiss and said, “I promise I will give you everything you need.” Smiling, she added, “For tonight, I believe you need sleep.”

She let go of Clarke’s hand and pulled a string of the blonde’s hair behind her ear. Lexa looked at the twinkling of Clarke’s eyes in the dark and felt a sense of long-lost happiness creep up on her. She pressed a few more kisses to her lips, then moved back to lay beside her, head resting on the crook of Clarke’s neck. Her fingers intertwined with Clarke’s opposite hand and she rested them across the girl’s stomach. Pressing a soft kiss to the side of Clarke’s neck, she whispered, “I’m right here.” 

Clarke knew that she was by the steady breathing against her neck and the arm that held her close. Tiredness washed over her again, and with the blissful and safe feeling of Lexa’s body against her, she soon fell asleep.

 

* * *

 

Morning came soon, too soon, and Clarke understood when Lexa moved out of bed and silently started dressing herself in the Commander’s attire. She made no attempt to get up yet, but observed as the young girl changed into the familiar leader. 

For a moment Clarke’s mind found a thought to panic on. Even though she felt barely any concern for what her people - or Lexa’s people, for that matter - would think of it, she realized with a painful feeling of shame that those who had not seen her in weeks would now suddenly find her walking out of the Commander’s tent. 

She coiled the thought over in her head, trying to find out why exactly this made her feel uneasy. Was it because of _who’s_ tent she would be walking out of this morning? _No_ , she realized, _I’m sure anyone would consider it an honor_. However, this thought created its own path through her mind and before she knew it she found herself wondering if it would be shameful for Lexa to have Clarke be seen coming out of her tent in the morning. Would it be… _dishonoring_ for Lexa?

Lexa looked up and saw Clarke looking at her with a concerned frown on her face. _At least her emotions have found their way back to her face_ , she thought gratefully. 

“You should join me for breakfast,” Lexa stated, although it was less of an order and more of an invite. She had contemplated offering the girl to stay in bed if she wanted to, but had quickly dismissed that idea as she realized Clarke had probably spent the last week in bed. 

Clarke was considering asking Lexa if it would be demeaning for the Commander to be seen with her, but the worry eased when Lexa prodded her to go with her. She got out from under the furs and immediately missed their warmth. She put on her boots and realized she missed their scent more. She followed Lexa to the front of their tent, close enough to feel her physical presence in an attempt to stay close to the source of warmth and comfort that had finally given her a fairly restful night. 

Lexa was about to open the front entrance of her tent, ready to take a deep breath of the fresh morning air that was finally no longer clouded with the mist of burned corpses, but with the smell of grass and horses and jerky roasted for breakfast. She turned when Clarke’s footsteps abruptly stopped, and found the girl looking at the floor.

Although it was to be expected, she quietly hoped it wouldn’t take too much to get the girl to follow her outside. Her teeth bit on her inner cheek as she reluctantly realized she had no idea on how to achieve that if Clarke proved unwilling, other than a last-resort order in Commander style - which she doubted she’d even use in this situation. 

Lexa kept quiet, and Clarke took time to find her words.

“I haven’t gone to see them.” Clarke’s jaw clenched and Lexa followed her eyes to the floor. “My people,” she elaborated. “I haven’t seen them in some time.”

The guilt she felt towards them had grown as she had isolated herself, making it even harder to face them again in fear that they would be disappointed in her. 

“They care about you, Clarke,” Lexa said. “Whatever it is you fear, I’m sure they would be glad to see you again.” 

Clarke swallowed, nodded. She took the few steps to the tent’s exit and breathed in deeply. Lexa’s knuckles brushed against the back of her hand. 

“You’re not alone,” she said softly before stepping outside, shoulders square and head held high, and Clarke knew she did not only refer to her friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know the first few chapters so far have been quite heavy, but have no fear - the fluffiness is near.


	5. We've Missed You, Griffin

The camp was already bustling with, to Clarke’s surprise, both tree and sky people. She had not cared to take notice before, but now she silently took in the progression of their people’s relation. 

“Heda,” was murmured respectfully as she walked with Lexa through the camp. Heads were bowed to their Commander in greeting and Clarke was surprised when many warriors nodded at her in recognition as well. 

 

 

Various tables were set out among the edge of camp where Skaikru and Trikru mingled together over breakfast. Clarke spotted a group of the hundred at one of them, and she approached them while Lexa stayed by her side. Even though Lexa knew these people were considered Clarke’s friends, she wanted to make sure the camp still recognized Clarke as a leader. Whether Clarke would admit it or not - these people took strength from seeing her. And so she stood near the girl’s side, head held proud in an attempt to show that she still thought of Clarke as her equal. 

The group was in the middle of a conversation that had Monty grinning and Raven punching Jasper on the shoulder. She rolled her eyes, and a surprised but delighted look took over her face when she looked up and saw Clarke not too far from them. Before she could call out to her, Clarke was stopped by another’s voice.

“Clarke.” Bellamy held a plate in each hand as he was making his way to the table where his friends were sitting, but stopped in his tracks when he saw the sky girl. She looked at her dark-haired friend as Lincoln took the plates from his hands with a knowing smile and brought them to the table. 

Lexa’s mind started racing. _Perhaps it hadn’t been a good idea to bring Clarke out here so soon, what if Clarke wasn’t ready for this? She trusted in me and now I brought her out here and-_

Her thoughts were stopped in their forming as Clarke walked up to him. Both Bellamy and Lexa were flooded with relief when she smiled.

“Hey Bellamy,” she said and gave him a hug. His eyes found Lexa and he gave her a grateful nod with a smile that reflected in his eyes. She had brought his friend back. He released her and Clarke turned to her friends at the table. Raven gave her the stupidest grin as the blonde sat down next to her. 

“Glad to see you finally found your way out of that dump hole. I was starting to think you were trying to relive the good ol’ days in the Ark cell.” Octavia kicked Raven’s legs underneath the table as a warning, but Clarke managed a chuckle. At least she could always count on the mechanic to lighten the mood with her sarcastic remarks. 

Clarke looked back at Lexa. 

“Will the great Commander sit with us?” Clarke asked her jokingly, but Lexa saw the sincerity in her eyes and nodded. She would stay near Clarke, keep an eye on her. Her Commander face stayed on, but she quietly allowed herself to enjoy the lighthearted atmosphere of the group. 

 

 

The group laughed at Monty’s story of the exchange between him and a merry Trikru warrior who had showed his appreciation for the Moonshine the night before. 

“So after his embrace that nearly choked the life out of me, I agreed to teach him the recipe that I use for the drink. In exchange, he said he’d train me because - and I quote - I am so feeble that I might break if the wind blows me over.” He shrugged. “Seems like a fair deal.”

“You will talk differently once he starts training you, sky boy,” Lexa said with a sly grin. The group chuckled at her comment, and Lexa felt warm when she saw a smile appear on Clarke’s lips.

“Speaking of drinks and merry times, we managed to convince the Chancellor to have a party tonight,” Jasper said with a quirk of his eyebrow, throwing a berry in the air and catching it in his mouth.

“Woah woah, what do you mean, _we_ managed to? I believe _I_ was the one that talked Abby into this, especially after you guys got half the camp irresponsibly drunk and useless last time,” Raven objected. She turned to Clarke. “Monty and I salvaged a couple old records from the Mountain, and we upgraded an old stereo to an awesome sound system,” she told her proudly.

Clarke’s thoughts briefly flickered back to the burned corpses at the mention of Mount Weather, but Lexa was already there, taking hold of her hand under the table and keeping her in the present. She glanced at her in thanks when she felt a reassuring squeeze in her hand. 

“You should come, Clarke,” Jasper said with a slight smile, and Clarke felt grateful for his friendliness towards her. She had expected him to be openly angry at her after her decision to radiate the Mountain and consequently taking away his love, and he had been for a while. But although it was clear he was still grieving, he was handling it much better than she had expected. She smiled and nodded.

“Oh, and Commander, you’re obviously welcome as well,” Raven added. “Actually, we sort of need you to be there. While trying to convince the council, I might have used your visit as a reason to have this party,” she told Lexa with a guilty smirk. Lexa nodded. 

“It is common to have a feast when a leader visits another village, although I’m sure both our people have enough to celebrate as it is.”

The group returned to talking and Lexa focused on her breakfast. Although Clarke showed various smiles in reaction to her friends, Lexa noticed she had barely touched the food she had brought over earlier. 

“You should eat,” she said quiet enough only for the blonde next to her to hear. Clarke looked at her plate. Lexa was right, she should. And so she did.

Octavia sat across the table and quietly observed the interaction. When Lexa looked up at her with a peaceful look in her eyes, a careful smile crept on Octavia’s face. She nodded her head in respect and approval of the Commander’s accomplishments with her broken friend. Lexa returned the nod in appreciation.

 

 

A few tables away, the Chancellor had just begun on her own breakfast when she noticed the unmistakable flash of blonde hair in the crowd. Marcus Kane, who sat beside her, followed her gaze and smiled when he saw Clarke with her friends. It was impossible not to notice the Commander next to her. 

“It seems the Commander’s visit has done Clarke good,” he said to Abby.

For a moment she didn’t know what to say. As she remembered the encounter of the night before, she was impressed with the way it had turned out. She had to admit that her mild dislike for the young brunette didn’t change the fact that Clarke seemed to be doing better around her. Abby fought the desire to walk up to them and interfere in their conversation. Instead, they watched how Clarke took a bite out of a loaf of bread, while a smile appeared on her face at something Lexa said.

“On second thought, I think it might simply be the Commander’s presence that is doing her well,” Marcus said.

 

* * *

 

After breakfast, Lexa felt confident enough to leave Clarke with her friends while she shortly went off to discuss the recent reports about the twelve clans with Indra and a few other generals. Clarke would have preferred for Lexa to stay (and so had Lexa), but she knew that Lexa was still the Commander and therefore still had certain responsibilities. She had assured Lexa that it was okay; Raven was going to show her some technical stuff she had been working on and Bellamy was determined to show off his hand-to-hand combat skills that Lincoln had been teaching him in training (although Octavia had snorted at that, whispering to her that Lincoln had been taking it easy on him). 

And so Clarke found herself in the Tech Wing with Raven showing her a repaired VCR, improved walkie-talkies and the stereo system they had been talking about. 

Clarke smiled at her friend. “This is impressive, Raven.” 

Raven shrugged, half smiling. “Keeps me busy,” she answered.

“Hey, I helped too,” Monty commented before snatching away an impressive looking clockwork Jasper was toying around with. 

 

* * *

 

After Octavia had kicked her brother’s ass in a training session, Clarke sat with Lincoln on one of the logs in camp. She saw a smile on his face as his lover triumphantly celebrated the victory over her brother. 

“I never thought I’d say this, but it seems you chose quite a skilled warrior as your partner,” Clarke laughed, remembering how naïve Octavia had been when they first landed on earth. 

Lincoln nodded. “She’s strong,” he agreed with a smile. Clarke thought it over.

“Strength is a really big deal for your people, huh?” she asked him. 

“Trigedakru value strength,” he confirmed. “In all the forms that it takes.” 

“Then you chose well,” Clarke said with a smile. 

He nodded, looked at her.

“So did Heda.”


	6. Broken Bones Always Seem to Mend

Clarke was still sitting outside with Lincoln and the Blake siblings when she noticed Lexa. She excused herself from her friends with a smile that let them know how much she appreciated them, and walked towards the Commander. 

“Clarke.” Lexa’s eyes were lit up by the smile that she hid from the people around them. 

“How did the meeting go?” Clarke asked, automatically falling back into the old leader version of herself that was always concerned about her people’s safety. “Any bad word from the other clans? Things we should be worried about?” Her chest tightened slightly as she unintentionally felt the burden of her people on her shoulders again.

“There’s nothing you should be worried about, Clarke,” Lexa assured her. “We’re in a time of peace. Our people are happy and although it is our job to remain cautious, we should not forget to allow ourselves to breathe.” 

Clarke nodded in response, mulling over the way Lexa spoke in plural. She didn’t want to bother herself with the thoughts of politics and peace and war, she didn’t want to think about deciding what was best for her people or how to maintain alliances - yet she couldn’t stop herself from doing so, even when she had basically resigned her position as their leader.

“I promise you that if anything does come up that causes concern for your people, I will let you know. Unless it is something of no importance regarding trade or Mountain supplies or any of the sort; in that case I will only bother the Chancellor with it,” Lexa said with a light smirk. “Now come have lunch with me.” 

 

 

Clarke was happy when Lexa took her to the seclusion of her tent. She had a guard bring them their food. 

“ _Heda, ai lid sanch in_ (Heda, I bring you lunch),” he announced, waiting outside of the tent.

“ _Min yu op_ (Enter),” Lexa said, and the guard entered with two plates that he placed on the table. 

“ _Mochof_ ,” Clarke said to him. The guard failed to hide his smile in surprise and bowed his head before leaving. Clarke saw the same smile on Lexa’s lips. 

“If I did not know any better, I would think your voice was made to speak Trigedasleng.” 

“I know a few words,” Clarke shrugged. “Someday, I’ll be able to understand the full conversations you have with your generals at the meetings… I’ll find out about all the secret plans you discuss with them and silently listen to their insults about me when they think I don’t know what they’re saying,” she joked. Lexa was only glad that Clarke thought of herself as present at those future meetings.

“You know I would not accept it if they insulted you, be it in any language,” Lexa said and Clarke’s eyes found hers. “In any case, you do not have to fear that anyone would speak badly of you. You already won their respect, Clarke.” 

They ate their food and Clarke appreciated this quiet time after her morning outside. She looked at Lexa; watched the dark hair that fell over one of the girl’s shoulders, with waves lingering in it after being braided in the Commander’s design. She watched the well-defined jawline as the young woman took a bite out of a slice of apple; watched the juice roll over her lips. She watched green eyes move from the table to the apple in her hand to Clarke’s own eyes and she could swear Lexa’s soul was staring back at hers. For a short moment, she forgot how to breathe.

“Did you have apples on the Ark, Clarke?”

She shook her head. “Not like those. We grew fruit, but it was small and tasteless and usually mushy. Not…firm and sweet and tasty, like these,” she mumbled, averting her eyes and putting some food in her own mouth to chew on as a distraction. For some reason, there was a restless warmth creeping through her chest.

“There is a large field full of apple trees near Polis where I used to play as a child. The apples are rich and sweet and hang from the branches in red and green. I will take you there someday, I’m sure you’d love to draw it.”

Clarke did not know what amazed her the most: the image in her head of the field with colorful apples hanging from the trees; or the thought of a young Lexa playing among those trees; or even the very fact that Lexa knew about her love for drawing. She remembered Lexa’s invitation to come to Polis with her when they had stood in front of the Mountain door. She had almost forgotten about it in the mist of war, pushed it away as all of their futures were uncertain, but she remembered.

“Polis is your capitol, right?”

Lexa nodded. “It’s different from the villages you’ve seen. It’s a city, with buildings and a market, and children playing in the streets. It’s where I reside during times of peace. It’s my home.” 

Clarke stared at her for a while, thinking it over. She wondered what the longest period of time had been that Lexa had spent there, since she had been at war a lot and often traveled to other lands. She wondered if Lexa actually felt that Polis was her home or only considered it to be so because it was the official capitol. 

“Why is your camp called Camp Jaha?” Lexa’s question broke her out of her thoughts. 

“Thelonious Jaha was the Ark’s Chancellor before we came down to earth. They named the camp after him. I believe you’ve met him, actually. He was once your prisoner along with Marcus. He returned to his people, but he was a different man and my mother had taken over his position. He was convinced that it was impossible for us to live along your people, and so he left with a few others. Said he was going to look for some city of Light. He never returned.”

Clarke chuckled. “Now that I think about it, it is rather odd that our camp is named after someone who had no faith in our alliance.” 

Lexa remembered the man. She remembered him being too weak to kill his friend for their people. She remembered him attacking her, to which she had taken him down and let him be beaten up to be sent as a message. She remembered disliking him.

“What about ‘Arkadia’?” Clarke mumbled. 

 

* * *

 

After their lunch, Lexa took Clarke to a nearby lake. The day was warm and although the walk wasn’t specifically long or tiring, it made the cool water all the more appealing. 

They broke through the line of trees and Lexa immediately unbuckled her armor. She threw them down near the waterside, leaving her in a tank top and underwear, and Clarke didn’t hesitate to remove her own outer layers of clothing.

Lexa was in the water before Clarke had finished, and tugging at her jeans she watched how the Commander dove underwater and came back up with a smile. Clarke looked around the lake, searching for any suspicious movement in the water that could indicate the presence of a lake monster, silently reminding herself to recite the tale of Octavia and the water-monster to Indra sometime since it should make for a good story around the fire. She slowly walked into the water when she noticed that Lexa didn’t seem to share her concerns.

Lexa had noticed her hesitance and moved back through the water towards Clarke.

“I have guards in the trees, we will be safe. Have a swim Clarke, the water feels nice.”

Clarke smiled and walked further into the water. Lexa’s hair was dark from being wet and the sun reflected off the water’s surface, leaving Clarke to realize in awe how much she’d love to paint this picture of a young girl with a smile on her face in the middle of a beautiful lake on a sunny day. She wasn’t sure if it was because of the scenery, but seeing Lexa like this took her breath away. 

Lexa dove under again and Clarke turned around, bending down further into the water to wash out her hair. She took her time combing her fingers through her blonde locks and stood back up again when she finished. Before she could turn around and face Lexa, something gripped her ankle. She let out a yelp, expecting it to be some kind of lake monster after all, and the girl who had taken down a mountain actually felt afraid of whatever was currently in the water, holding on to her ankle. The fear immediately subsided when her ankle was released and Lexa popped out of the water, chuckling.

“Did you just squeal?” she asked.

Clarke pouted. “I did not squeal.”

Lexa raised an eyebrow, still trying to hold back her laugh. Clarke’s face was not amused and she splashed some water to Lexa in protest. Lexa immediately stopped laughing and raised her eyebrows in surprise. 

“That was a mistake, Clarke of the Sky people. No one starts a water fight with the Commander,” she said with a serious voice, and immediately followed with a large splash of water into Clarke’s face.

Before Lexa realized what was happening, Clarke tackled her and they fell backwards into the water. Laughing, Lexa brought them back above water again, arms still wrapped around the sky girl. Both their laughter slowly died down, simply leaving them with smiles on their faces and their bodies pressed closely together.

Clarke swallowed, her mouth suddenly dry as she took in the girl in front of her. Bright green eyes stared at her, begging her to fall into them. Lexa’s skin glistened against the sun, water drops rolling down the curve of her neck - and Clarke saw her, saw the girl that was Lexa.

“Hi,” she whispered, running a hand along the line of Lexa’s jaw, marveling at the way Lexa’s eyes were studying her like she was a miracle. Because, to Clarke, the only miracle here was Lexa herself.

Lexa’s eyes darted back and forth between Clarke's eyes, then shortly glanced at her lips and Clarke closed the small distance. Their lips might have met as smiles against each other, because right now and right here, they were simply two young girls in love. 

 

* * *

 

An hour later, they made it back to camp and Clarke found herself in the medbay. There were still wounded warriors and victims of the Reaping that were recovering. Lexa accompanied her, knowing a visit from their Heda would do them good. 

“Clarke.” Abby was on shift and noticed her walking in. She smiled softly and gave her daughter a warm hug, but Clarke barely returned the embrace.

“How are the wounded doing?” she asked her mother, desperate for a distraction so Abby wouldn’t start asking about her mental state. Abby motioned to a few patients and began to describe their situations. Lexa shared a few words with their injured people, but mostly watched intently as Clarke checked on their vitals.

 

 

Clarke was closely examining a severely wounded Trikru warrior who had grievous wounds all over him and seemed to be unconscious on pain medication. She was replacing the bandage on his arm when his other hand grabbed her wrist. She looked up at his face, startled by his sudden consciousness. He seemed to struggle to keep his eyes open through the pain, but kept them strongly fixed on her.

“You brought back my daughter,” he spoke slowly but clearly. “Thank you, Wanheda.” He forced a small smile at her startled expression, and with that his eyes closed again as he seemed to black out from pain.

Clarke shouted for her mother, ordering to give him more morphine and cursing the healers who had been careless enough to let him wake up in pain. 

Little did Clarke know Lexa had been standing behind her as the warrior spoke and had clenched her jaw in an attempt to subdue the shiver that went through her spine as she overheard what he said.


	7. Teach Me to Fight (I'll Teach You to Dance)

Lexa stormed into her war tent, calling for Indra as her eyes fumed with a dangerous fire.  
Indra, assuming that this sudden outburst could only have something to do with the sky girl, inaudibly sighed as she followed Lexa into the tent. 

“Heda?” Indra said, her expression once again fixed in stoic respect. Lexa was standing over the war table, hands clutching the edges. She kept her eyes on the map in front of her. 

“How long has Clarke been considered Wanheda?” she asked in a strained voice.

Indra struggled to find her words. She had overheard it once or twice when the grounders recited the stories to each other, of Clarke burning 300 warriors and taking down most of the Mountain with the flip of a switch. Indra had not considered the idea of Lexa being opposed to this title - after all, the warriors thought of the title as an honor and it was prove of Clarke’s position and the respect she had earned among them. So when Lexa asked her through gritted teeth how long it had been, she stammered. 

“A few days after the Mountain fell I heard it amongst our warriors,” she said, trying to keep any hesitation out of her voice. 

Lexa’s jaw was tense as she spoke. “I do not want anyone calling her by that name until Clarke has claimed the title herself. See to it that your warriors will control their tongues.”

For a moment Indra was confused. She was certain Lexa was not jealous of Clarke, so therefore she didn’t understand why she didn’t want Clarke to be called by the fearsome and honorable title. Even so, she nodded her head and left the tent.

As she walked outside she noticed her Second sitting with the blonde-haired girl. Suddenly she had a feeling she might understand what her Heda meant. She remembered how withdrawn Clarke had been, and Lexa knew unlike any other that Clarke was still haunted by the deaths she had caused. Indra grumbled something to herself; the sky girl would need to toughen up soon if she hoped to keep others from stealing that title from her.

 

* * *

 

Clarke sat next to Octavia who was sharpening her sword. The brunette was surprisingly quiet, and Clarke didn’t mind at all. She was thinking about the wounded in the Medbay, trying not to work herself up but failing miserably at it.

Her thoughts drifted to the Trikru warrior who had startled her earlier and thanked her for saving his daughter. He had called her something-Heda, and she found herself confused by it. He had seemed lucid enough, even through the pain, so she was sure he hadn’t mistaken her for Lexa, his Heda. Heda meant Commander, this she knew; so perhaps it meant Sky Commander? That didn’t make sense either, since that wasn’t the Trikru word for ‘sky’. And besides all that, she wasn’t anyone’s Commander. There was only one Heda, and no Skaikru person would stand equal to the leader of the twelve clans. Right?

Good thing she had a hybrid Trikru friend sitting next to her.

“Hey, O,” Clarke began. 

“Hmm,” Octavia answered, keeping her eyes focused on her work.

“What does Oneheda mean?”

Octavia’s hand stopped moving along her sword for a short moment, so short that it was barely noticeable as she quickly composed herself and continued with the repetitious movement. She glanced up at Clarke and by the look in her eyes she could tell the blonde really didn’t know what it meant. 

Before she had time to answer, a sword was thrown down on the ground next to them. Clarke looked up and found Lexa standing over them. 

Octavia silently continued her work, hoping the interruption would mean that she didn’t have to answer Clarke’s question. They had had their differences over the missile in TonDC, but the war against the Mountain had nonetheless drawn them closer again. However, after seeing the price of victory take its toll on Clarke, Octavia still felt like she shouldn’t be the one to tell her friend that people considered her to be the very Commander of Death.

Clarke shot a questioning look at Lexa, who merely nodded at the sword she had dropped next to her, turned around and walked off. When she didn’t hear Clarke follow, she turned back around and found the girl holding the weapon curiously, pretending to threaten Octavia with some very humorous stances. A smile crept onto her face as she watched, finding it oddly endearing. She wiped the grin off, but kept the light amusement in her eyes.

“Clarke.” 

The blonde looked up, and realized she was supposed to follow Lexa. She smiled smugly at Octavia as she withdrew the sword from the side of her neck and said goodbye as she moved to walk with Lexa. Octavia merely rolled her eyes and allowed a smile.

 

“So I got my own sword now, huh?” 

Lexa smirked. “What good would having your own sword do if you do not know how to wield it?” 

“Hey, I can fight with a blade. Didn’t you see me at the Mountain?”

Lexa’s stomach coiled. Of course she had seen Clarke at the Mountain. She had barely been able to keep her eyes off her. Clarke had favored her gun, which Lexa had not objected to since the weapon worked quick and efficiently in the heat of battle. 

“You know how to plunge it into someone’s stomach, or cut open someone’s legs.” Clarke grimaced at Lexa’s explicit words. They were true, that was exactly what she had used a dagger for in the Mountain. “But you don’t know how to wield it, Clarke. How to balance offense and defense, where to place your feet, how to hold it properly so you don’t lose your grip or risk injury…” 

“Yeah, okay. I get it. I’m not one of your well trained warriors. So how come you trust me with holding this one?” Clarke nodded at the sword in her hand. Lexa cast a sideways glance back at her.

“You’re on the ground now, Clarke. It’s time you learn how to defend yourself against the dangers it presents to you.” 

Before Clarke had the chance to argue that she had been able to defend herself perfectly fine with her gun, Lexa was already walking out the gates.

 

 

A little while later, Clarke found herself in a small clearing with Lexa outside of camp. She twirled the sword around in her hand.

Lexa faced her and unsheathed her own training sword. Clarke’s eyes widened.

“Are you going to fight me?” Clarke asked, slight fear setting in her stomach. She had seen Lexa fight, dance around with her blade, taking lives like it was a sport that she excelled at. 

Lexa allowed a smirk. “No. You’re going to fight me.” She saw the hesitation in Clarke’s eyes. “No need to worry, the edges of both blades have been dulled. You will not hurt me, nor will I hurt you.”

Clarke swallowed, nodded. 

Lexa jerked her chin. “Attack me.” 

Both of them got into fighting stances, and Clarke advanced. Lexa easily deflected the blow. Clarke’s swing left her side vulnerable and Lexa knocked the girl in her side with the end of the hilt, making her stumble. Clarke grimaced. 

“I thought you said you weren’t going to hurt me.”

Lexa’s jaw tensed. “I meant seriously injure. I don’t like hurting you, Clarke, but you need to learn from your mistakes.” 

Clarke huffed. “It’s okay. I’ve seen Octavia being trained, you’re obviously taking it easy on me. Then again, she’s damn good with a sword nowadays.”

Clarke wasn’t prepared for Lexa to attack her without warning, so when she suddenly did, Clarke was too slow in her reaction. She tried to block the sword with her own while turning away from it simultaneously, but the blow landed on her side. 

Somehow this angered Clarke. Lexa kept deflecting her blows and parrying them with skill, causing Clarke’s frustration to grow at not being able to hit her. She felt herself become careless and less precise, merely focusing on swinging as often as she could in a desperate attempt to get to Lexa. 

“You’re too aggressive, Clarke. Your attacks hold no aim,” Lexa told her as she parried her blow.

Lexa was right, and Clarke knew. But she was determined to at least hit Lexa once, and so she decided to try and focus on what she was doing.

Clarke swung her blade towards the brunette’s side, who easily deflected it. This time when Lexa countered her, she was prepared. The force of their blades colliding sent a shockwave through her arm, but she quickly pushed it away and aimed for Lexa’s shoulder. Lexa dodged it, as she had expected, and managed to make Clarke lose the grip on her sword. As she felt the hilt slide out of her hand and noticed Lexa’s attention on her sword arm, Clarke saw her chance. Without thinking about it, her fist unexpectedly collided with Lexa’s cheek. Both of their eyes were wide. 

Clarke was desperately searching for the word used to apologize, suddenly having trouble remembering what it was. She opened her mouth to speak, but no words came out. 

Lexa straightened her spine. Her cheekbone ached, her nervous system finally registering the blow through the initial adrenaline rush. She had let her guard down, been less alert. She had been with Clarke, and was so focused on teaching her in a careful way that she had not expected the blonde to hit her in the face. 

“Good,” she nodded. Clarke looked confused, perhaps even a little frightened. Lexa fell back into position, waiting for her to do the same. As their swords collided once more, Lexa swiped her leg behind Clarke’s, making her fall onto her back. Clarke felt the air leave her lungs as she hit the ground. 

“Two things you’ve learned today: always be on your guard, and…footwork.” 

Clarke groaned. “I haven’t actually _learned_ anything, only seen the importance of it.”

One corner of Lexa’s mouth lifted. “That’s a start.”

Lexa offered her hand and pulled Clarke up. From where they stood they could see the camp being readied for the feast. Raven was shouting orders to a few Arkers who were carrying speakers, placing them around camp, while tables were being set up with food and drink. The gates of Arkadia had been left unguarded and were wide open while Trikru and Arkers moved to and fro. 

Lexa turned to Clarke. “Perhaps we should continue another time. You should reserve your energy for the feast.”

“Don’t expect too much from it. Knowing my friends, to them a party just means loud music, sloppy dancing and drinking. I doubt it’d live up to the normal standards of what you’d call a proper feast,” Clarke laughed.

Lexa smiled. “It’s not much different from what I’d expect. You should come to Polis sometime, we’ll have a large feast and celebrate with all of our people.” Lexa’s eyes shone with excitement as she spoke. 

Clarke bit her lip in a smile, Lexa’s enthusiasm was contagious. 

“That does sound nice.” 

She looked at Lexa and her eyes drifted to the smile on her lips. Clarke couldn’t help but think how beautiful it was as she mirrored that smile and stepped closer. Her hand moved to Lexa’s warm neck. She leaned in and her chest fluttered as she pressed her lips to Lexa’s. Lexa kissed her back, equally as soft and her hand fell on Clarke’s side. She smiled into the kiss as a blissful feeling overtook her. She almost felt…happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aww look at our great Commander being almost happy and stuff. These two... *sigh* I can't stop writing fluff, please send help.
> 
> AND ARE WE EXCITED ABOUT THE PARTY OR WHAT :D


	8. Whatever This Is, You Make Me Smile

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As Octavia would say: Time to party, bitcheees! (Idk why, I just imagine that's something she'd say)

“Yo, Commando,” Raven called out as they entered camp. 

Lexa looked at her confused, slightly taken aback. Clarke’s hand found her wrist, gave her a small squeeze in a quiet plea to take it easy on her friend. 

“I’m guessing that your grounder celebrations usually require you to show up in your strikingly fearsome Commander outfit, but I’m trusting that this one here,” she eyed Clarke with a grin, “will make sure you wear something casually fancy. Although I couldn’t argue if you showed up with war paint, that stuff looks really cool. Still intimidating…but cool,” she finished while already walking off.

Lexa turned to Clarke with a frown of confusion. “She’s telling me what to wear?”

Clarke bit her lip in a smile. “I think she’s telling you not to come to the party as the Commander, but as Lexa.”

Lexa squinted her eyes as she pondered the idea. “I always have to be the Commander to my people, Clarke.”

“I know.”

 

* * *

 

As the first note unexpectedly blared through the camp, everyone stormed outside, startled by the sound. Lexa had her sword in hand, tense and ready for whatever was happening. Abby came storming out of the Ark building, an infuriated expression on her face. 

“Sorry, sorry!” Monty was waving his hands in the air to the alarmed crowd as he messed around with wires and buttons. He quickly turned off the stereo and gave an insecure smile. “At least we know it works?” 

Clarke couldn’t help but laugh. The music was turned on again, this time in a reasonable volume, and Raven came stumbling towards Monty to give him a high-five. “Whoo, we did it! We’re geniuses!” 

Lexa sheathed her sword. 

“That’s the…music I was telling you about,” Clarke mumbled. Lexa shook her head and smiled to herself. 

 

* * *

 

The sun was setting. Fires were lit, food was eaten and drinks were poured. At some point Clarke got dragged away by her friends, and a content smile settled on Lexa’s face. Her warriors seemed to be having a good time, as were the Arkers. They were laughing, talking, and a few Trikru members seemed to be teaching a couple of Clarke’s friends one of her people’s traditional dances. She smiled to herself. As low-grade as the party was, Lexa appreciated it for it made her people happy.

 

 

“Four aces, bitcheees!” Octavia threw down her cards on the table and reached out for the stack of wooden chips lying in the middle. 

“I can’t believe I spent all those hours carving those chips just so you could win them all,” Jasper sighed, sipping his drink. A few former delinquents were sat around the table, cards in hand and drinks nearby.

“Clarke, your bet.” 

She looked at the cards in her hand, thinking it over and carefully eyeing her competitors. Just as she was about to check, she felt arms circling around her waist as someone moved to sit behind her. She smiled as Lexa rested her head on her shoulder. If anyone was surprised, they didn’t show it. Or perhaps they had just been drinking too much Moonshine to care. And perhaps Lexa, too, had been drinking enough not to care that this wasn’t very Commander-like.

“What is this sky game called?”

“Poker,” Clarke answered her, as she pushed half of her chips forward, suddenly feeling very confident. Lexa looked over at Lincoln who was sitting next to Octavia with a concentrated frown on his face. He noticed her stare and shrugged his shoulders. 

The round progressed and Octavia grunted as Miller won the pot with a smirk. She turned around in her seat. 

“Yo, DJ! Throw in something funky, I need my swagger back!” Octavia yelled. 

Monty grinned in reply as he turned up the volume and played a song that immediately had half the table nodding along the beat. Lincoln’s face was contorted in confusion, he literally didn’t understand a word Octavia just said. _Skaikru_ …

“I thought his name was Monty, why would she call him Deejay?” Lexa wondered out loud over Clarke’s shoulder. The arms around Clarke’s middle felt warm, and Lexa’s soft breath on her neck was sending her into such a distracted state that she found herself focusing less and less on the game. 

“Ha, losers! All right, take something off,” Octavia grinned as she won another round. 

Clarke’s eyes widened. “I wasn’t aware that this was strip poker.”

“You’re all out of chips, branwoda. Gotta compensate with something.”

“That’s not the rules!” Clarke frowned. 

“Rules just changed. Deal with it.”

“I’ll not have you insult Clarke,” Lexa spoke up. 

Octavia’s eyes widened. “I apologize Heda. It was meant as a joke-”

“But if those are the rules, then I agree Clarke should follow them,” Lexa finished with a smug smile. 

Clarke’s ears burned as a blush crept over her cheeks. She turned to Raven. “Now I understand why you didn’t want Lexa to wear all those layers of formal clothing.”

Raven frowned, confused, but then her eyes widened in understanding. Clarke’s attempt to avert the attention from herself worked as everyone turned to Raven. 

“Hey! That’s so not true!” she objected, but Clarke just bit her lip in a smile and stood up from the table. Lexa chuckled and followed.

 

* * *

 

The night was still young, and even though both preferred to just spend it in each other’s presence, Clarke was surrounded by friends that had missed her and Lexa was pulled off to talk to many warriors, even sky people. Clarke smiled as she watched the young Commander have light conversations with a friendly smile on her lips. At some point Lexa caught her eye and smiled at her, and Clarke felt herself fall in love with her all over again.

 

 

“Clarke.” She felt a hand on her arm and turned around to face her mother.

“How are you feeling?” Abby looked concerned. The noise from the party around them was buzzing, and she knew it was a big change from the silence that had surrounded Clarke in her room. 

“I’m fine, mom.” Her voice was unintentionally cold, perhaps a little too cold for her mother who had only been worried about her, but the last thing Clarke wanted right now was to have a discussion with her mom about how she was feeling.

Abby nodded. “I’m just glad to see you out here again with everyone. I know it’s been rough on you lately, and-”

“Mom. It’s okay. We don’t have to talk about this right now. Go, enjoy yourself, have a break from everything. I promise there’s no need to worry about me tonight, I’m not going to break down and hide back in my room for another week,” she joked. _Although I can’t make any promises about Lexa’s tent_ , the alcohol almost made her say. 

She glanced over her mother’s shoulder and smirked. “Seriously, go enjoy the evening. I think _someone_ is eagerly awaiting your company,” she said, laughing at herself for how much she just sounded like Lexa in that last sentence. Oh, the influence her presence had on Clarke. 

Abby turned to see Marcus sitting at a table, and shook her head, smiling. She hugged her daughter in sheer appreciation of her wellbeing, mumbled something of an ‘I love you’ in her hair, and then excused herself to join the Arkers at the table Clarke had referred to. Clarke watched her walk off, pushing away all the unsettled issues between them. They would have to wait for later. For tonight, let her people be happy.

 

 

It wasn’t much later when she found herself sitting with her friends again, Lexa by her side, their legs touching as they sat close together.

“To the alliance! May our people be happy and awesome,” Raven declared as she held her cup in the air.

“Cheers!” The group raised their cups, smiling broadly. Clarke clinked her cup to Lexa’s, who gave her a warm smile.

“To being the best allies,” Lexa said, soft enough for only Clarke to hear.

“The best,” Clarke agreed. She smiled, not being able to look away from the girl next to her, eyes wandering down to the curve of Lexa’s lips. She felt herself leaning forward, whether it was due to the alcohol or her own desires she couldn’t say, but was stopped by Raven’s voice.

“Okay, you two are not even being subtle about it anymore. Seriously. I haven’t had enough to drink for this.”

Clarke blushed and looked away, and Lexa couldn’t help the soft chuckle that escaped her. 

“Heda. These warriors have requested your audience.” Indra came up beside them and motioned to a few Trikru warriors waiting behind her. Clarke recognized two of them. They had fought bravely at the Mountain and she remembered seeing them afterwards in the med bay.  
Lexa immediately straightened her posture. Clarke raised an eyebrow at her, a silent question.

“It is customary for a Commander to speak to their people after a battle. Usually I address them as one, but these are high-ranking officers.” Lexa gave her a small smile. “I’ll go speak to them, I will find you later.” 

Clarke nodded, and Lexa stood up. She walked up to the warriors and clasped their forearms in greeting. They were beaming as their Heda walked them through camp.

Octavia started a make out session with Lincoln shortly after that, causing Bellamy to groan in disgust from where he sat next to them.

“O, keep it in your pants, please,” he grunted.

“Bellamy. Shoo,” Octavia replied, pressing the palm of her hand in her brother’s face without taking her eyes off Lincoln.

Clarke looked around camp, glad to see people from the Ark and Trikru warriors engaged in conversation with smiles on their faces. She was certain that grounder celebrations would normally be of much higher standards, and it surprised her that the warriors still seemed to take much delight in whatever this was.

She turned her eyes to the group around her. They seemed to be having a great time telling each other dumb stories and laughing loudly. Clarke smiled. This was how it was supposed to be. This is what they had fought for.

 

* * *

 

Gradually Clarke noticed her friends getting more and more drunk. They became clumsy and louder (or in some cases quieter) and suddenly she felt alone. There were certainly enough people around who were still lucid enough to have a proper conversation, but that’s not what brought the feeling on. They were all having a good time, they all seemed happy. And Clarke knew she should be too, and in some way she was, yet a gloom still hung over her that made the smile on her face feel strained. 

She looked around for Lexa, but didn’t see her. No one was paying attention and Clarke slipped out of the gates and off to the edge of camp. Behind the rows of tents a few fallen logs rested on the ground, a spot where people sat around the fire and ate their meals. It was deserted now, since most people seemed to be at the Sky party, and Clarke sat down against one of the logs with a sigh. As her head slightly fell back she couldn’t help but notice the night sky - it was as clear and beautiful as the night before, when she had sat with Lexa. 

 

 

Looking at the stars, Clarke was lost in memories of space for a long time and didn’t hear the footsteps approaching until Lexa spoke up.

“Do you miss it?” _Space_.

Clarke turned her head and looked up at Lexa. Her face was beautiful in the moonlight and Clarke couldn’t help but smile. For a moment time seemed to slow down and she forgot Lexa had asked her anything at all. 

“Clarke?” Lexa laughed.

“What…?” It sounded more like a ‘huh’ and the way Clarke’s wide eyes looked up at her almost made Lexa forget how to breathe. She looked so innocent, too innocent for this world. 

“Do you miss being up there?” Lexa asked again, sitting down next to her.

Clarke thought of the Ark. She missed the familiar safety, she missed afternoons with Wells, she missed her father; but that had all been taken away before she even came to the ground. 

She shook her head. No, she definitely didn’t miss being in space - there was no Lexa there.

“Are you okay?” Lexa asked after a few more silent moments.

Clarke nodded. “I just felt like getting away for a while.” 

For a time they were both quiet. The sound of distant laughter and music merged with the crickets around them. 

Clarke broke the silence. “Sometimes I do wonder what it’d be like if we hadn’t come down to earth.”

For a moment, a flash of pain crept over Lexa’s face. At this point she couldn’t imagine what it’d be like not to have Clarke down here with her. 

“Of course, that would mean we would all be dead. No oxygen and stuff,” Clarke mumbled. “I guess we were destined to come down here after all.” 

She huffed, almost ironically. “Do you believe in fate, Lexa?”

“Fate?”

“Yeah. You know… When something’s meant to be.”

“I suppose many things are meant to be, in a way. Do you?”

Clarke shrugged. “I don’t know.” She plucked a blade of grass below her and twirled it in her fingers. “Was I was meant to lead the hundred and bring down a Mountain? Kill innocents for the greater good? Was my fate sealed the moment I set foot on earth?”

 _Did I have a choice?_ Lexa heard her say. Clarke’s head rested against Lexa’s shoulder. 

“I don’t know, Clarke. I don’t know if you were meant to fall from the sky.”

 _I don’t know if you were meant to steal my heart_. She swallowed it down.

“I don’t know if our paths were meant to cross. But even through all the horror we’ve seen, I’m glad they did.” 

Clarke looked at her and smiled, if only Lexa knew how cheesy she just sounded.  
She thought it over. Was it really a coincidence that she met her? That they walked together through wartime and found each other in the progress? Clarke wouldn’t say it out loud, but she had this persistent feeling that their lives had been entwined from the very start. 

She reached for Lexa’s hand, intertwining their fingers.

Lexa was right; even through all the horror they had seen, even with everyone she had lost, Clarke couldn’t deny that she was glad she had found Lexa. She tried to make sense of it, tried to look at it in multiple ways. Perhaps meeting Lexa was a part of everything that had happened, something that was inevitably entwined with all the pain and loss she had to go through. Or maybe it was something else entirely, something that would’ve found its way to her no matter what, as a fate on its own. 

Clarke didn’t know which theory made her feel better, but either way, she realized, it didn’t matter. All that mattered was that she was here, with Lexa, in this lifetime. As she looked at the girl beside her, she pushed away the guilt and allowed herself to think that maybe, just maybe, she would go through all of it again, just to find her.

She looked at Lexa, who leaned in to kiss her. She smiled. 

Their lips fit together perfectly. 

“It’s like you were made for me,” Lexa whispered, thinking out loud.

“Maybe I am.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now that I think about it, I really do imagine Octavia shouting 'bitcheees!' a lot. Must've had something to do with that first episode. Can you blame me though?


	9. Confessingly

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Brace yourselves for a full chapter of Clarke and Lexa. Like seriously, the Clexa is real in this one. I hope that's okay.  
> Also, sort of sexy times. You have been warned.

The laughter from the Ark gradually died down to a pleasant murmur. The music followed suit, and Clarke suddenly sat up with a gleam in her eyes. Lexa raised an eyebrow at the smirk on her face.

“Come dance with me.” 

Lexa’s expression didn’t change and held somewhere in between confusion and surprise. When Clarke stood up and held out her hand, she mumbled, “Well, I suppose it is a party, after all.”

Clarke smiled and led them back towards the Ark. “Are you saying that your people like to dance during celebrations?”

“You’ll just have to find that out for yourself one day,” Lexa laughed. Clarke considered asking if the Commander usually took part in this dancing, but she supposed the same answer would apply. So she relented, she wouldn’t mind having to find that out herself someday.

 

* * *

 

The camp was quieting down. Many were now seated around fires like the night before, sharing drinks and stories. Clarke noticed Bellamy talking with a familiar, pretty warrior - Echo, if she recalled correctly - and spotted Octavia leaning against Lincoln’s chest with a drunk but content smile as they swayed lazily on the middle area that had become a dance floor. The music was slower than before, and Clarke tugged Lexa onto the area where only a few other couples besides Octavia and Lincoln were dancing.  
Without warning, Lexa stiffened.

“What is it?” Clarke asked her softly, suddenly scared that maybe this was too much for Lexa, maybe she didn’t want to be seen with Clarke like this, maybe the Commander couldn’t afford any sort of public display of affection.

“I’m Heda, Clarke,” Lexa said, and Clarke felt her heart sink into her stomach. Lexa noticed the way her face fell, and quickly tried to find the words she needed to explain. “The last time I was seen with someone this intimate, my enemies used it against me by cutting off her head. I’m afraid, Clarke. I’m afraid of my weakness for you to be so obvious to others.” 

Clarke’s fingertips stroked the side of her face. “I know,” she said, leaning her forehead to Lexa’s. “I know. But it is midnight, and your people are either drunk or asleep - either way their eyes aren’t on you right now.” Lexa visibly relaxed a little and Clarke took her hand back in hers. “Remember, we should not forget to enjoy times of peace. Now, do you know how to lead?”

Lexa’s brow furrowed in confusion. “Wouldn’t you say I lead my people well?” she asked, voice suddenly concerned. Lexa’s question was genuine, and it made Clarke chuckle. 

“You’re a great leader,” she said as she pulled Lexa closer and started swaying to the music. One of their hands intertwined, and the other was placed around each other’s middle. They moved like that for that for a while, gently swaying back and forth, until eventually Clarke rested her head on Lexa’s shoulder, and Lexa buried her head in the side of Clarke’s neck in return. Their hands moved around each other’s back in an embrace, now simply holding the other against them. 

“This sky dancing is very different from what my people would consider dancing,” Lexa murmured after a while. “I like it.” She felt Clarke smile against her.

Clarke kept her eyes closed, head pressed into Lexa’s shoulder. Feeling the warmth of Lexa’s body against her, she breathed in. And for a moment, she could pretend that they were just two ordinary girls in love. For a moment, she could pretend that they had no responsibilities, that it was only the two of them and that they were innocent lovers dancing to a simple song. Her chest tightened and she gripped her hands into Lexa’s shirt.

“Clarke.” Lexa’s voice was soft and her eyes were worried as she searched Clarke’s face. 

She shook her head with a smile. “I just don’t want to lose this moment. It’s like a dream and part of me is afraid I’ll wake up, surrounded by metal walls with nothing but memories of things that may never have happened.”

Lexa was quiet, her eyes focused on Clarke’s. This wasn’t a dream, she knew that. If it was, the Ice Nation would come waltzing in right now, tearing Clarke from her arms and making Lexa scream in horror. This wasn’t a dream, this was a fragile reality.

“I assure you this is not a dream, Clarke,” Lexa said, her voice trembling. The light from one of the Ark’s posts reflected in green eyes, although Clarke could barely make out the green behind the dark pupils that seemed to be staring straight into her soul. 

 

Lexa breathed in the night air, resuming their gentle movement as a new song started playing. A mellow voice sung words of love and Lexa found she couldn’t take her gaze off the eyes before her. They were dark and radiant like the night, and somehow burning with passion. Lexa found herself wondering how she ever got so close to the universe.

“You’re the sky, Clarke,” Lexa whispered, lost in adoration.

“In that case I’m so glad I crashed into earth,” Clarke smiled, breathing against her mouth.

Lexa’s breath caught in her throat and for a moment Clarke too forgot how to breathe when she noticed the way Lexa was looking at her. 

“Lexa,” Clarke breathed, catching her gaze. “I want to kiss you.”

Lexa's lips were parted and she fought to keep them from trembling. Clarke leaned her head closer, waiting for Lexa to pull away. Their breath mingled in the space between them, noses brushing and eyes fluttering closed. Lexa knew she shouldn’t ignore the warning in the back of her head, telling her not to expose her weaknesses. But Clarke brushed her lips against hers and it drowned out all the thoughts she had. They kissed, slowly and beautifully to the mellow tones of the music. 

Lexa opened her eyes again and felt vulnerable. Her breathing was quick and for some reason she felt the need to pull on as many layers of armor as she could find, cover her face with war paint to escape the feeling of nakedness, and find her sword so she could reach for the hilt in assurance. But then she noticed the sky girl’s eyes gazing intensely into hers with a passion Lexa had long denied herself, and she only longed to capture Clarke’s lips in a hungry kiss again.

She moved her hands down Clarke’s arm, ignoring the sparks of electricity it caused between them, and took hold of her hands. 

“Come with me,” she said quietly, eyes wide and face still close to Clarke’s. Clarke managed a nod and they moved through the camp silently, out of the gates and towards Lexa’s tent.

 

 

This time Clarke did not hesitate to follow Lexa to where her bed stood, and when Lexa turned around to face her, pupils blown and breathing way too heavily, she moved forward. Whereas most kisses they had shared before had been sweet and gentle, Clarke now hungrily pressed her mouth to Lexa’s in a series of passionate kisses. Her hands moved to Lexa’s neck, gliding over her collarbone and shoulders, causing goose bumps to form on the skin underneath.

Physical closeness became a need, and it was a perfect blend between desire and affection. As their heads leaned sideways to deepen the kiss, Clarke pressed her hips against Lexa and her hand started fumbling with Lexa’s shirt. She caught Lexa’s lower lip between her own, skillfully running her tongue along it. Gasping in each other’s mouths at an unexpected nibble, or a brush of tongue against the other’s, both felt the desire in the pit of their stomach grow. 

In silent agreement Clarke pulled Lexa’s shirt over her head, and shortly thereafter Lexa removed hers. Lexa sat back on the bed, and Clarke lost her breath at the sight. Somehow, even when she was on the edge of losing herself in desire, Lexa’s eyes were gentle. There was a level of affection in them that made Clarke’s heart swell. She leaned down and kissed her softly, transferring all the understanding, the needing, the comfort between them. They leaned back onto the bed, feeling the heat between the connection of their newly exposed skin as their lips found each other once more. 

Lexa would be content just staying there, kissing Clarke for all eternity, covering her neck with sweet nibbles and kisses and brushing over her lips as if she would die without them. But Clarke pushed them over to straddle her, and it surprised Lexa to realize how willing she was to give Clarke this control.

Her hands traced Lexa’s arms, moved over her sides as she kissed all the spots on Lexa’s face she had dreamed of - the corner of her mouth, along her jaw line, to her ear where she nibbled and elicited a soft sound from Lexa, back down to her neck to suck gently on her pulse point. Lexa felt her breathing become erratic, felt her heartbeat speed up and moved her hands along Clarke’s spine, marveling at the feeling of the soft skin and moving her head back when Clarke nibbled at her neck. She gasped, unintentionally pressing her fingers into the skin on Clarke’s back. 

Clarke pulled back to find Lexa gazing up at her, and she leaned down for a gentle kiss before moving to take off the rest of their clothes. There was no hurry, there was only time to appreciate the moment. And they did.

The air was cool, but even as they both undressed neither seemed to be bothered by it. The heat between their bodies was enough, and Clarke moved back to lie on top of Lexa. The contact of their naked skin made both gasp, melting their curves together, and Lexa could swear their very souls touched. 

Clarke buried her face into Lexa’s neck, softly kissing the skin and breathing in her scent, taking comfort in her warmth. Lexa’s toned stomach pressed against Clarke’s soft skin as they breathed, giving them a strange sense of connection. And as Clarke found Lexa’s eyes, she could swear that at that moment, they were one. 

Intertwining her fingers with Clarke’s Lexa lifted their hands up to her chest. As if Clarke had made her forget how to breathe, she found herself almost gasping for air as something rushed through her entire body and left her with no thoughts, except one - _Clarke_.

Her lips trembled as she pressed Clarke’s hand above her heart, and said, “I can feel you in my chest.”

The way Clarke kissed her then took the rest of her breath away, and at the same time reminded her how to breathe.

 

Clarke left Lexa’s mouth with the intention of moving her kisses downward to cover every inch of her tan body. She kissed her neck, leaving soft love bites on all the right places, reveling in the quiet sounds it elicited from the girl below her. But she had only reached the curve of Lexa’s collarbone, when Lexa flipped them over. A devious smile played on her lips as Clarke chuckled, but the gentle kiss she pressed to her lips did not match the lust that Clarke saw carefully hidden in her eyes. However, the persistent nibbling in her neck that followed did. 

Lexa continued down the same trail Clarke had started; down her neck, over her collarbone and across her chest. She reached Clarke’s side, and noticed the bruise from their earlier training.

“I’m so sorry about that,” Lexa said, planting careful kisses on her bruised ribs. Clarke stroked back Lexa’s hair, softly scratching her nails across her head.

“It’s okay. I might even let you injure me more if this is the treatment that follows,” Clarke responded, a little out of breath, causing an amused smile to appear on Lexa’s lips as she gently pressed them to her skin again.

Clarke felt speechless at the way Lexa worshipped her body. Every time Lexa’s lips touched her skin, she could feel the tremble in Lexa’s breath, as if it was something sacred. 

Clarke ran her hands and mouth along the lines of scars and tattoos, breathless at the fact that she got to do so. And Lexa was breathless too, never having thought she would let anyone do so again.

 

As their bodies entwined, the feeling of each other’s skin was the only thing in existence. 

 

When Clarke curled her toes and arched her back, she gasped Lexa’s name softly, as if she had just been given the most precious gift in the world. 

And when Lexa gazed up at Clarke with wide eyes, lips parted and hands twisting in the bed sheets, Clarke could swear the Commander’s eyes were glazed over with unshed tears.

 

* * *

 

Clarke’s arm was curled around Lexa’s middle, pulling her body sideways against the flushed skin. Her steady breathing reflected off Lexa’s neck; eyes closed and a hint of a smile on her lips.

And she felt peaceful. 

“Hey Clarke,” Lexa pondered, staring at the roof of her tent.

“Hmm?” Clarke responded.

“I was wondering… Are there any other Sky games that involve you taking your clothes off?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *changes rating from T to M*
> 
> *gives embarassed smile*


	10. Of Course I'll Follow You

The sun was already high in the sky when they awoke. For a moment Lexa felt unsettled; as the Commander she often rose early, and it did not befit her to sleep in. But as she rolled on her side and saw two bright blue eyes staring back at her, all that fell away.

“Hi,” she said, voice hoarse from sleep.

Clarke was smiling, her head resting on her hand as she looked down at Lexa.

“Hi,” she replied.

“Have you been awake for long?” Lexa asked her.

“Long enough to know that you look adorable when you’re sleeping.”

“I am _not_ adorable,” Lexa frowned - which, in Clarke’s opinion, just proved her point.

Clarke raised an eyebrow and smirked. “You sort of are, Commander.”

Lexa grumbled something and turned around, curling once more into the furs and closing her eyes, deciding that a few more minutes wouldn’t hurt. She felt Clarke wrap an arm around her middle and press her face into the back of her neck. Lexa smiled.

And Clarke smiled too. Because Lexa had given her so much - most of which she was sure she didn’t deserve - and now she was lying here, pressed against the girl she was fairly sure she loved on a beautiful, late morning.

“Thank you,” Clarke whispered, pressing a kiss to her neck. Lexa laced her fingers around Clarke’s on her stomach.

“No. Thank _you_ , Clarke.”

 

* * *

 

“So…You and Lexa, huh?” Raven asked with a raised eyebrow, bumping her shoulder into Clarke. Clarke focused on the empty cups she was collecting and hoped that her blush didn’t show too much. Raven chuckled. “Good for you, Griffin. If she makes you happy, then I’m happy for you too.”

“Yeah… She does,” Clarke mumbled. 

Raven glanced at her, a knowing smile on her face, and moved around to the other side of the table. “You might want to talk about this with your mom, though. I’m not sure she knows about how serious you guys are, and more or less thinks that Lexa’s simply been patching you up to be a leader again. And I’m not sure how she feels about that, either.” 

Clarke frowned, silently wondering how much her mother had picked up from what was going on between them. She was considering her words as Raven picked up a stack of empty plates and went to carry them into the Ark. A little while later, she came back out with Monty and Jasper who she had apparently dragged out of bed.

“You guys wanted a party, remember? Help me clean this shit up so Abby might not kill us if we ever ask for one again.” 

They grumbled something, but started helping around camp anyway. 

“How are you not dying with a hangover headache?” Clarke asked her, feeling a slight heaviness above her own eyes and knowing that her friends had been drinking much more than her.

“Oh believe me, I am,” Raven said, slumping down on one of the benches. “I’ve had worse though.”

At that moment Octavia walked out of her tent and Clarke realized that it could, indeed, be much worse. 

“You guys are cleaning?” Octavia grunted in disgust, walking towards them. She squinted her eyes against the sun and her hair frizzled around her head. “It is way too early for that.” She spotted Lincoln as he exited the tent as well. 

“Well, only one way to deal with a hangover on the ground,” Octavia sighed. “Lincoln! Come fight with me!” Her face wrinkled in pain at the volume of her own voice and she swayed a little on her feet but dragged him confidently to the training ground, leaving her friends sitting near the table.

“Yeah,” Raven said, “I think I’m just gonna stick to old-fashioned aspirins.”

 

* * *

 

Clarke decided to take Raven’s advice and went to find Abby. After all, it was about time she talked things out with her mother. She found her in her room, apparently working on Medical administration behind her desk. 

“Hey, mom?”

“Clarke,” her mother shot up from her desk with a smile. “Is everything all right?”

Clarke nodded. “I was hoping we could talk.” Abby nodded and Clarke closed the door behind her. She moved to sit on the cot and faced her mother, who had sat back down in the chair. 

“Did you sleep well?” her mother asked, and Clarke’s ears immediately burned as she nodded, trying to hide her smile. 

“Well, I’m really glad you’ve been feeling better. I’ve missed you, hunny.” 

Clarke swallowed. This was not what she came to talk about, and she didn’t want to think about it, but she knew it was inevitable. 

“Yeah, I’m sorry,” she said, again apologizing for the hurt she had caused by shutting everyone out and letting herself wallow in grief. “I shouldn’t have pushed you away like that. I know you were just trying to help.”  
It was quiet for a while, both unsure of what to say.

“I wanted to talk to you about Lexa,” Clarke began. _About me and Lexa_ , she wanted to add, but she was cut off by her mother before she could continue.

“I’m glad the Commander was able to talk to you, Clarke. I guess she was one of the few people who knew what to say to get through to you.”

“To get through to me?” Clarke frowned, suddenly feeling defensive. “I didn’t really need anyone to get _through_ to me, I knew perfectly well what had happened and was quite aware that we won the war.”

“That’s not what I meant, Clarke. I just mean that she was the right person to help you get through a hard time, and I’m happy that she did.”

Clarke averted her eyes to the floor, forcing her breathing to calm down. “She sort of did more than simply help me through a hard time. She went out of her way to make me feel better.” Clarke bit her lower lip. “We’ve been spending time together and I think that maybe I could finally find some peace - with her.” 

She swallowed, preparing herself for whatever reaction this was going to get her. “She makes me happy, mom.” 

Abby simple stared at her for a while, not sure of what to say and not sure she completely understood what her daughter was getting at.

“Clarke, I understand that you and Lexa share some sort of connection and I think it’s great that she’s been able to help you so much. But don’t forget what she’s capable of. She’s still the Commander who sent 300 warriors to kill you and ordered Finn’s death. Don’t tell me you’ve forgotten what she’s like,” Abby argued.

“No, mom,” Clarke said, feeling her stomach turn. “In fact, I’ve only just realized what she’s _really_ like, and it is not the heartless savage you make her out to be. You can’t keep blaming her for what happened in the past, and Finn sentenced himself to death - you know that. She cares for both our people and she cares for me. I hope you’ll be able to see that too, one day.” When her mother didn’t reply, Clarke left the room without saying anything else.

 

* * *

 

A little while later, Lexa sat down next to her in the circle around the fire pit. Clarke looked up and smiled, but Lexa had noticed the frown that had been on her face.

“What’s wrong?” she asked, about ready to kill whoever had brought this discontentment to Clarke.

“Nothing,” Clarke answered, shaking her head. Lexa nodded, it was obvious Clarke didn’t want to talk about it. 

“Is Octavia feeling ill?” Lexa asked suddenly. “I noticed she was rather unstable on her feet during training, which seems unlike her.”

Clarke chuckled under her breath. “No, she just has a bit of a hangover from yesterday. She’ll be fine.” 

When Lexa looked confused, probably wondering what in the world a hangover could be, Clarke added, “From the alcohol. She drank too much and now her head hurts.” That seemed to clear things up and Lexa nodded in understanding. _Skaikru and their weaknesses_.

 

“The council meeting was two days ago. It won’t be long until I must leave for Polis,” Lexa mused. Clarke looked at her, but she didn’t continue.

“You’re leaving?” Clarke asked quietly, like she hadn’t always known that Lexa wouldn’t stay here forever. 

Lexa nodded. “I’m leaving Arkadia. But maybe I don’t have to leave you.” Lexa faced her. “Come with me, Clarke.”

Smiling, Clarke nodded. Of course she would come with Lexa. It had popped into her head multiple times lately, although they hadn’t really talked about it in definite terms. The Ark barely felt like home anymore, and maybe a visit to the Capitol was just what she needed. Maybe staying with Lexa was what she needed.

Lexa gave her a warm, relieved smile, glad that Clarke had agreed. In all honesty, she wasn’t sure she could find it in herself to leave if Clarke wouldn’t come with her. She would try and make up excuses to stay, and then probably would have to leave anyway at Indra’s insistence (Commander’s duty and all that), but her heart would ache - although she would never admit that.

“I’m going to Polis,” Clarke murmured, as if saying it out loud would make it seem less surreal.

“Clarke’s going to Polis?!” Octavia slumped down next to them around the fire pit, Raven following close behind. “Let me come too, Heda, beja.”

“I would expect no less of you, Seken kom Indra,” Lexa responded, and it made Octavia flash a big grin as she nodded her head in thanks.

“Well then, I’m tagging along as well and there’s nothing you can do to stop me,” Raven stated with a smirk and Lexa was going through all the ways that she could, in fact, stop Raven from coming with them (including tying her up to a tree or stealing her brace while she slept), but Clarke agreed that she should join them and Lexa realized there was no reason for her not to. 

“Abby’s gonna love this, her daughter running off with the Commander to the big, shiny capitol,” Raven remarked, grinning at her own sarcasm.

Lexa swallowed and realized that she was probably going to have to speak to the Chancellor about taking her people to Polis. Surely Clarke and her friends could make these decisions for themselves, but as a fellow leader Lexa still felt she should inform Abby. It would be the respectable thing to do. 

Lexa sighed. She was not looking forward to that conversation.


	11. Fight for Your Right

Clarke had gone off to the Medical Bay, saying that she wanted to check up on a few patients, and Lexa decided that some training wouldn’t hurt. It had been a while since she had sparred and she was looking forward to a good workout. Warriors gathered and only the best dared to challenge her. A feral smile was on her face as she fought them, besting them each time.

Octavia stood watching intently as Lexa yelled out once and flipped a warrior on his back, knife at his throat. 

“She’s feral. I can see why blondie has been fucking out her feelings on her,” someone remarked behind her. 

Octavia spun around, facing an arrogant looking young adult that she recognized from the Ark. She gripped him by the throat, pushed him back into the crowd and knocked a knee into his groin. He doubled over in pain and she took the opportunity to give him a good right hook. He fell back and she immediately dove over him, punching his face into the dirt.

The crowd’s attention had turned from the training to them, rolling on the ground as the Arker tried to get out from under Octavia. Lexa had pushed through the crowd, watching the Blake girl give a final punch to the young man’s jaw before standing up. She pulled the bleeding Arker into a headlock and faced Lexa.

“Heda,” she panted in Trigedasleng. “He insults the Sky Princess. Tell me what to do with him.”

Lexa’s face was stoic. Her trained ears had heard what he had said, standing on the sidelines. She stared at Octavia, pleased by her ability to take down a man twice her size. She would make her Clarke’s guard on the way to Polis, she decided.

“He is not one of my people, therefore not mine to discipline. Let him go,” she answered. Octavia clenched her jaw and reluctantly let the Arker go. His face was bloodied as he stumbled off. 

 

* * *

 

It was only fifteen minutes later when Lexa had cleaned up and walked into the Medical Bay, expecting to find Abby there. She glanced around the area, but Clarke was nowhere in sight.

“Commander. Care to explain why one of my people just came stumbling in with his face beaten up?”

Lexa turned to face Abby. 

“I have no idea Chancellor, perhaps you should ask him yourself,” Lexa replied in an even voice, looking mostly unimpressed. 

Abby glanced at her, but apparently decided to drop the subject as she moved over to one of the cabinets where she mechanically started arranging the contents.

“What can I do for you, Commander? I thought we had already discussed most matters during the council meeting.”

Lexa fought the urge to roll her eyes at Abby’s insistence at explaining her reasons for coming to see her. Sometimes, Lexa would get the urge to annoy Abby on purpose by saying things like ‘ _I am the Commander, I don’t owe you an explanation_ ’, simply because she could and the Chancellor seemed to forget that Lexa’s position was higher than her own.

But that would get them nowhere right now, and Lexa decided to leave the rebellious act to Clarke - after all, she seemed to be quite good at it.

“I have come to inform you that I will be leaving for Polis soon, and that Clarke and a few of her people will be coming with us,” Lexa said. She would’ve asked any other respectable leader for permission to take their people out of formality, but she didn’t think Abby would understand that it was _only_ a formality and that the proper reaction would be to immediately agree when Heda requested this. So she settled for notifying her, that was something she granted the Chancellor.

Abby’s hands stilled as she put down a small bottle on a shelf. 

_Your people_ , Lexa cursed to herself, _I should’ve said ‘your people’_.

“Clarke has agreed to come with you?” Abby’s voice was strained through the air that smelled of chemicals, the combination of it making Lexa feel sick in her stomach. 

Lexa nodded. “She has.”

“She is in no position to make such a decision,” Abby stated, perhaps more to herself than to Lexa, as if convincing herself that she should interfere.

“Clarke is perfectly capable of making that decision, and so are her friends,” Lexa objected. 

Abby shook her head as she faced Lexa. “They are children. Clarke has barely just recovered from the battle at Mount Weather. I cannot allow them to simply leave; it is my job as the Chancellor to protect them. I’m sure you understand that, Commander.”

“They are _much_ more than children,” Lexa growled. How Abby still didn’t understand that was a mystery to her. “If it is their safety you’re worried about, I assure you that they will be well protected,” she continued, growing impatient. “In any case, this is not something you have anything to say about. I was merely notifying you that we will be leaving soon.”

_Bad move._

Abby clenched her jaw at the accusation of being powerless as Lexa turned around to leave. 

“Do not think that you can control my daughter just because you pulled her out of her room. I will not have you manipulate her to come with you,” she growled. 

Lexa’s stomach tightened and her hand moved to the dagger on her hip in an attempt to control her anger. To Lexa, Clarke’s freedom was like a glint of sunlight burning inside her and Abby seemed determined to take that away. 

She turned around from where she was standing in the doorway, facing Abby once more.

“The only one here who is trying to control her, Chancellor, is _you_.” 

 

* * *

 

Lexa stormed out of the medbay, teeth gritted in anger. The woman was annoying, yes, but what angered her the most was the fact that she accused Lexa of manipulating Clarke.

Lexa huffed in irony; was Abby not aware of her daughter’s stubbornness? _Like I could force Clarke to do anything._

“You look like you’re ready to kill someone.”

Lexa glanced up as Indra fell into step beside her. _I am_ , she thought. _But I won’t, for Clarke._

“I spoke with the Chancellor.”

One corner of Indra’s mouth lifted in amusement. She nodded, not needing further explanation. They walked through the square, where the delinquents finally seemed to have finished cleaning up. 

“Octavia came to me earlier. She said you have allowed her to come back with us to Polis.”

Lexa nodded. Indra made a noise that apparently meant she approved. 

“She was rather excited about it,” Indra commented, looking annoyed. 

Lexa glanced at her, already knowing what to expect. “Too excited to focus on training?”

Indra nodded. “I sent her to clear horseshit from the stables. It should calm her down.”

 

 

Lexa had unconsciously made her way back to the training area. Indra watched as two young warriors fought and shook her head at their technique. At least _she_ knew how to train her Second properly. 

Lexa called for her, saying she wanted to spar. The Commander still felt anger lingering in her body after the conversation with Abby and even though she had trained earlier that morning, she wanted to get the tension out. Perhaps if she pretended Indra’s sword was the Chancellor’s face - yes, that would help.

They grabbed training swords, moved to a free area and faced each other. A crowd immediately gathered around them, but Lexa paid them no attention. This wasn’t about impressing her warriors or proving the physical strength of Heda - she just wanted to blow off some steam.  
And so they fought, almost equal in skill and strength. The sun rose higher into the sky, and slowly but surely Lexa felt her anger subside. 

 

 

They had been training for a good while when suddenly, a flash of blonde hair caught Lexa’s eye. 

Clarke stood on the sidelines where she watched her intently. The sound of swords clashing had drawn her attention when she walked past the training grounds, and she definitely was not disappointed to find the Commander there.

Lexa was sweating, her clothes sticking to her skin, her breathing heavy, and unbeknownst to Clarke, her arms were _aching_. But Clarke was watching quietly with great interest, and Lexa stood up a little straighter.

She faced Indra again, and silently thanked the gods she hadn’t attacked while she was distracted by a particular face on the sideline. One corner of Lexa’s mouth carefully lifted and she lunged forward. Indra parried the blow just in time, frowning at the sudden smug look on the Commander’s face. They circled each other and she caught sight of the sky girl. 

_Of course._

Lexa attacked again, this time with unnecessary, graceful movements and Indra rolled her eyes. She countered Lexa with a fierce blow and hooked her leg behind the Commander's, causing her to fall down. Lying on the ground, Lexa spared a quick, desperate glance to where Clarke stood. 

And Indra saw it: the glint in Lexa’s eyes that stood equal to a smirk, as she arched her back and gracefully jumped off the ground. A small murmur of gasps went through the crowd, and Indra looked more annoyed than ever when Lexa started a flurry of well aimed attacks. She defended herself, and they ended up with both their swords under each other’s chin.

When they lowered their blades, Indra merely grunted, threw her training sword back on the stack with the others and walked off, leaving Lexa to stand on the training grounds with sword still in hand. 

Lexa glanced at Clarke, who’s wide eyes still seemed to be glued to her. 

Clarke swallowed. It was taking every inch of her self-control to not walk up to Lexa and start kissing her right there, right now. She even found herself making up excuses to get rid of all the reasons she shouldn’t throw herself at the Commander like that: sooner or later their people would find out they were together anyway, and she could always say that she had been afraid that she was going to lose Lexa (it had, after all, seemed like a pretty intense fight), and _oh_ , it would make a great statement towards her mother.

Okay, this was not good. 

She turned around, forcing her breathing to go back to normal. Lexa had been the one training, not her. She shouldn’t be breathing this heavily. She shouldn’t be this aroused. 

Nope. Nope. 

Not good. 

Biting her cheek, she pushed through the crowd and walked away from the training area. 

But Lexa’s adrenaline was still rushing through her, and she didn’t hesitate to go after Clarke. She wasn’t sure why she was intent on going after her, but she followed Clarke into a random Ark building. 

The moment she stepped through the doorway, Clarke grabbed her arm and pushed her into the wall. She slammed the door closed behind them and pressed her mouth to Lexa’s, trapping her against the metal frame of the building. Lexa didn’t take long to compose herself, kissing Clarke back with equal force and pulling back every now and then to catch her breath. 

“Maybe you shouldn’t train me anymore,” Clarke mumbled against her mouth.

“What?” Lexa asked, confused.

“I think you’re going to be too much of a distraction,” Clarke said, already pressing her mouth back against Lexa’s.

“No, that’s a good thing,” Lexa mumbled in between desperate kisses. “You’ll learn how to ignore distractions and focus on the fight.” 

Clarke chuckled; they both knew it wasn’t going to work that way, but it was a reason to keep Lexa as her training partner, and so she didn’t object. Instead, she moved one hand underneath Lexa’s shirt, pressing against the sweaty muscles of her stomach and forcing her further into the wall. Clarke moved her hungry kisses down the girl’s neck as Lexa’s hands buried themselves in blonde hair.

“Perhaps I should go train more often when I’m angry, it seems to work out well for me,” Lexa commented out of breath, and Clarke’s hand stopped moving.

“You were angry?” she asked with a concerned frown, moving to look her in the eyes and Lexa immediately regretted saying anything at all. “What happened?” 

Lexa shrugged. “I had an argument with your mother,” she mumbled, trying to brush it off and leaning back in to capture Clarke’s lips. But they were out of reach as Clarke pulled back. Lexa’s head fell back against the wall as she let out a sigh. _Great job, Lex_ , she thought to herself. _Bring up her mother in the middle of a make out session._

“What do you mean, you had an argument? Please tell me it was about some stupid arrangement over Mount Weather supplies or something.”

Lexa stared at her. “Yes. It was,” she breathed.

Clarke rolled her eyes. “Okay, that was terrible. Seriously, Lexa, what did she say to piss you off?” Clarke felt the tension creep into her own neck as she tried to prepare herself for whatever she was going to yell at her mother for.

Lexa sighed, pushing herself off the wall and moving past Clarke to look at the blueprints on the table behind them. 

“She thinks I’m manipulating you to come with me to the capitol.” Lexa absentmindedly roved her eyes over the maps on the table. “It’s fine, Clarke. I know she’s your mother, and I assume she’s just worried about you.” 

She turned around to face the sky girl, who’s frown still hadn’t disappeared. 

“I don’t think she wants you to go to Polis.”


	12. You Make Me Fear Things

“We need to talk.” Clarke stormed into the med bay, finding her mother examining a patient.

“Yes, we do,” Abby answered, turning around to face her. “But not here.” She motioned for Jackson to take over and led her daughter to one of the rooms in the back. 

“I don’t know what your problem is with Lexa,” Clarke already started before they had even reached the door, “but it needs to stop, right now. You don’t get to accuse her of forcing me to do anything, or trying to control me, or whatever you think is going on here.”

Abby closed the door behind them. “Clarke, I don’t know what she has told you, but you are not thinking clearly. A few days ago you were huddled up in your room, and now you’re ready to run off to the capitol. As the Chancellor, you’re my responsibility and I can’t just let you leave like that.”

“But you’re also my _mother_ and you’re supposed to support me. Lexa hasn’t been anything but good to us. She has been kind to our people, even when she didn’t need to - and God knows how many clan leaders hold that against her.” Clarke took a deep breath, calming herself down. “I’m telling you that I want to go with her, that I want to be with her. And mom, I _will_ be leaving with her.”

It was quiet for a while. Abby looked at her daughter, searching her face to find out where this was coming from. But all she found was determination, and she sighed, running a hand through her hair. 

“Then I will let you,” Abby nodded, realizing her daughter’s mind had already been made up. Clarke was speechless for a while, almost certain she had misheard what her mother said. “I just don’t want to lose you again, Clarke. I barely just found you.”

“You’re not losing me,” Clarke answered, but her voice was uncertain. She couldn’t promise her mother she’d be back in a few days, and guilt settled in her stomach as she understood her mother’s reluctance to let her go. 

“Octavia and Raven are coming with us. I’ll ask Raven to bring a radio, we’ll be able to talk that way,” Clarke said quietly, trying to make this easier. Her mother didn’t reply so she made her way out of the building, in desperate need of fresh air.

 

* * *

 

She hadn’t spoken about it with Lexa again, and instead spent the day keeping Raven company while she worked on upgrading the radios.  
Lexa, on her part, spent the rest of the afternoon making preparations for their departure the next day. 

 

 

As was customary, the Commander sat at the table with the Skaikru’s council that evening during dinner. It was her last evening meal in Arkadia before she left, and Lexa had quietly invited Clarke to sit next to her. At least she wouldn’t be the only one staring back at Abby, who sat across them.

Indra had glared at the blonde as she took the seat on Lexa’s other side, a silent reminder not to make a fool of the Commander in public. Clarke snickered to herself, she knew that warning was reasonable. She knew she challenged Lexa and was aware of the fact that Lexa allowed her to, which was exactly why she shouldn’t do so in public. 

“Commander,” Marcus spoke up, standing from where he sat next to Abby. “On behalf of our people, I would like to thank you for all you have done for us. With the Mountain fallen, this alliance stands stronger than ever.” He raised his cup. 

Lexa nodded her head in acknowledgement. This was all too familiar, but she swallowed the memory down. She stood up and faced the girl next to her.

“Clarke. Let us drink together.”

Clarke searched her face, and could almost see the memory of Gustus flash through Lexa’s eyes. But the next moment it was gone, and she rose to stand next to Lexa.

“It would be my pleasure.”

A murmur of ‘to the alliance’ crept over the tables. Soon enough, food was being piled onto plates and small conversations started. Clarke stole a glance towards Lexa, who was currently in full Commander mode. Even without her war paint she looked regal, her posture fixed and her face stoic. But when Lexa caught her eyes for the shortest moment, she saw it: the way her eyes lit up - it was still there.

 

 

“Will you be leaving early tomorrow, Lexa?”

Lexa looked up from her plate to the Chancellor. She resisted the urge to frown - since when did Abby refer to her as ‘Lexa’, especially in a formal setting?

She nodded. “As early as possible. We will make a stop at TonDC, and continue to Polis from there on.” 

Indra glanced at the Commander. Why Lexa was telling them this was a mystery to her, laying her travel plans bare to the Skaikru. But she looked up to see a sheepishly smiling Kane and Bellamy, who was reaching for another loaf of bread as his sister nudged him in the side, and realized that these people were not their enemies. 

“We will be looking forward to your next visit, Commander,” Marcus said. He looked at Abby. “The Chancellor and I have been discussing the future of Camp Jaha’s council-”

“Arkadia,” Clarke mumbled to correct him. He looked at her. “That’s what we’re calling it now,” she explained. 

A small smile appeared on his lips. “Right, Arkadia’s council then. There are still a few things we should…work out, but hopefully we’ll have a plan by the time you return.”

Lexa nodded. “It’s good to hear that these things are being considered. In fact, I have been thinking myself about how to introduce you into the Coalition. That is, if you will accept.” She averted her eyes to her plate for a moment, before looking up at the Skaikru’s council members again. “I hope you will have your answer ready next time we meet.”

Clarke looked at Lexa, surprised by this sudden offer, although it did make sense. She turned to face her mother, curious as to how she would react. But Marcus simply smiled, and Abby didn’t seem to show any sort of reaction aside from a barely visible nod of her head.

“Until then, I will introduce Clarke as the Sky people’s ambassador. I assume this is all right with you?” Lexa’s eyes were hard and Clarke wondered if it was an actual question. She hadn’t discussed this with her and Clarke wasn’t sure how to react. 

Abby’s gaze moved to her daughter, silently wondering if this had been planned. Clarke could swear she saw her mother’s facial expression soften slightly when she realized it was a good idea. She nodded, a small smile on her face, and even a hint of pride in her eyes.

Clarke squared her shoulders, feeling the responsibility of being trusted with this new title. She turned her head to smile at Lexa, but she didn’t get any reaction apart from a brief sideways glance. Instead, Clarke’s eyes found Indra’s, who was still glaring at her from the other side of Lexa. She swallowed, and turned her gaze back to the food on her plate. 

 

 

Lexa was every bit the Commander during the rest of the dinner, and Clarke understood. This was a formal setting, and Lexa needed to be the Heda they expected her to be. It wasn’t until after they left the dinner table that Clarke realized there had to be another reason for Lexa’s cold behavior. 

Lexa had barely spared her a glance during the evening, even though she had insisted that Clarke sat next to her. The Commander’s guards were back in place, following after her as she left the dining area. Clarke fought the urge to go after her immediately, and instead hung around the table a little longer. If Lexa had wanted her to join her, she could’ve asked.

 

“So I heard from Octavia that you’re going to the capitol,” Bellamy said to her.

Clarke bit her lower lip and nodded. 

“At least I don’t have to worry about your safety, right?” he joked, sparing a glance towards his sister.

Clarke sighed. “I’m going to miss you guys, though.” She looked around the dining area, her gaze lingering on a group of the hundred. “But I know I’m leaving them in good hands,” she said to Bellamy, smiling.

He nodded, returned the smile. “We’ll always be your people, princess.” 

 

* * *

 

Later that evening, Clarke made her way to her room on the Ark. She opened the door and tried her hardest not to focus on the familiar, painful feelings that hit her in the face. The room had been cleaned, probably by her mother, for which she was silently grateful, but the walls still reminded her too much of the nightmares she had been stuck in. She decided to get what she came for and make her way out of the room as fast as possible.

She reached for the drawer, took out a sketchbook and a few pencils, grabbed a spare shirt she had lying around and walked out, closing the door behind her. She took a breath and looked up to find Octavia staring at her. 

“You okay?”

“Yeah. I’m fine,” she lied, brushing past her as she walked down the hallway.

“You haven’t been in there lately, have you?”

“What?”

“I mean, you haven’t been sleeping in your room. That’s why it’s so hard to go in there.”

“It just… reminds me of dead people and stuff. I don’t really want to think about it.”

Octavia had fallen in step next to her, and stayed quiet for a while. 

“So you haven’t been sleeping in your own room then?”

Clarke frowned. “No, I haven’t. What are you getting at?”

One corner of Octavia’s mouth lifted. “You’ve been sleeping with Lexa, haven’t you?” 

“Yeah, I’ve been staying with her.”

Octavia raised an eyebrow. “Well yeah, but you’ve been sleeping _with_ Lexa, right?”

Clarke rolled her eyes. “Yeah, I’ve been sleeping with her in that way, too,” she replied, slightly annoyed. “But what’s it to you, anyway,” Clarke murmured. 

“I just wasn’t sure, after tonight. Yesterday I was absolutely convinced there was something more going on between you guys, but then tonight you did such a great job at hiding it I thought my drunk self might’ve made it all up.”

Clarke grumbled. “I don’t know what’s going on with her. One moment she’s dancing with me like we’re the only two people in the world, and the next she’s basically ignoring me in front of everyone.”

“It kind of makes sense, though. She’s Heda, Clarke, she’s got a name to live up to. From what I’ve heard, having a lover didn’t end well for either of them last time. But you should be talking to her about this, not me.”

They rounded the corner and Clarke sighed. She knew Octavia was right. 

“Do you think it will be like this in Polis? When she has to be the Commander all the time, and there are no Skaikru parties to lighten the mood?” Clarke wondered.

Octavia shrugged. “I wouldn’t count on that. She’s pretty whipped for you Clarke, even if not everyone notices the heart-shaped eyes she keeps giving you. I think you’ll be fine.” She nudged Clarke in the side with her elbow and walked off into camp.

 

* * *

 

Clutching the things she was carrying to her chest, Clarke made her way to the Commander’s tent. She recognized Ryder standing guard, and looked up at him expectantly. He merely gave her a nod, and she took that as a sign it was okay for her to go in - even though she probably would’ve entered the tent with or without his consent. 

 

“Are you afraid?”

Lexa looked up in surprise, turning around from where she stood in her tent.

“What?”

“Are you afraid?” Clarke repeated.

Lexa frowned. “A Commander shouldn't be afraid, Clarke.”

“I’m not asking about the Commander. I’m asking if you’re afraid of having feelings, Lexa. You need to talk to me about these things. I need to know that you haven’t just completely shut me out when your Commander face comes on.”

Lexa’s jaw tensed. Clarke fiddled with the edge of the shirt she carried and continued. “I know you have to be the Commander to your people before anything else. But I thought that with me, you could at least let your guard down a little. So I’m asking you again, are you afraid?”

“You already know the answer, Clarke. I told you last night, didn’t I? I told you I was afraid of showing weakness. I can’t show weakness, Clarke. You know I can’t.” 

Clarke swallowed, glanced at the ground for a moment before looking back up to the girl in front of her. She found Lexa staring at her. 

“I’m weak for you. And I don’t know how to deal with that when I have to be strong for my people.”

Clarke sighed. “After the last few days I would think your people are already aware of your soft spot for me.”

“Yes. They are. And that is exactly why I have to show them I am still capable of carrying out my duties.” She took a breath and swallowed. “When I’m with you and your friends, Clarke, it’s different. I don’t have to be Heda and worry about how they could exploit my weaknesses. But when I’m surrounded by my people, I have to be on my guard. I thought you understood that,” Lexa said. 

The Commander glanced down at her feet, forcing her voice to keep steady. “It wasn’t my intention to shut you out. I’m just trying to find a balance between who I have to be and who I want to be for you, that doesn’t end up with your head getting cut off.” 

Clarke took a step closer to her, running a hand through her hair. “I get that. I understand, I really do.” She ducked her head, trying to catch Lexa’s eyes. “If you want to keep what we have between the two of us, then I can do that. I can do that, for you, because I know what you’ve been through and I understand why you’re afraid.” 

She paused, taking a breath and trying to find the right words. “But honestly, I believe we could be stronger together. And Lexa,” she lifted her fingers to the brunette’s chin and raised it to catch her eyes, “I’m not Costia.”

Lexa’s eyes seemed to tear up at that, but she blinked them away and managed a nod. Clarke moved her hand down to Lexa’s. 

“Is that why I’m going to be an ambassador? So you can tell your people I have a reason to be there that doesn’t involve us sleeping together?”

“You’re going to be an ambassador because you’ve always represented your people, and it shouldn’t be any different now.”

Clarke managed a half-smile. “Okay.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just had to put a little bit of 'love is weakness' in there, sorry guys. I feel like that conversation was necessary for the story to progress and for their relationship to evolve. Don't worry about it too much though ;)


	13. Wake Up, We're Going Home

Clarke placed the things she had brought from her room on the table in Lexa’s tent. 

“That’s all you’re taking with you?”

Clarke nodded, fiddling with the watch on her wrist. Lexa absentmindedly ran her fingers over the sketchbook. She looked up at Clarke, a silent question in her eyes. Clarke nodded slightly, turning away to roam her eyes over the few remaining maps on the table.

Lexa opened the booklet and ran her fingers over the page that held a drawing of the forest. Part of the drop ship was visible, and she recognized the view of the trees surrounding it. 

“You have soft hands,” Lexa said softly. Clarke looked up at her. “For drawing. Lincoln has it too. It is a gift to be so talented,” Lexa mumbled, turning the page. She saw three large waterfalls and a lone figure jumping down the middle one. She frowned, studying the image. Clarke glanced at her and stayed quiet.

Lexa turned the page again, and her frown disappeared as her expression fell into one of painful recognition. She saw herself handing Clarke the torch, but the funeral pyre was already on fire and they stood in front of the flames. 

Lexa swallowed and turned the page again. This time her eyelids fluttered and one corner of her mouth lifted in a smile. She glanced up from the page where Clarke had drawn her, and blue eyes met her with an expression that Lexa couldn’t name. Clarke bit on the inside of her lower lip and turned her head away.

 

* * *

 

Lexa’s warriors turned in early that night. She had told Clarke they should do the same, tomorrow would be a long and tiring day. Still, Clarke found herself sitting around the fire with a small group of the remaining hundred.

“It kind of sucks that you’re leaving so soon,” Monroe commented. “We might not be in a war anymore, but what are we supposed to do now? What are we supposed to…be?” 

Clarke glanced up at her. “I don’t know,” she answered honestly, tossing small pieces of wood into the fire. “But you guys don’t need me anymore.” It wasn’t said with disappointment, but as a simple statement that they would be okay. It was okay for Clarke to leave for the capitol, it was okay for Octavia to become a Trikru warrior, it was okay for them to be normal teenagers. She glanced around the group, wondering if they could ever be anything remotely close to normal teenagers after all that had happened.

“We’ll always need you, Clarke,” someone objected quietly and Clarke couldn’t make out who it was, but everyone stayed silent in agreement and she realized it was spoken for all of them.

“It’s different now, though,” she whispered. It was less about surviving and more about who they would become.

“We find our ways, I guess,” Miller mumbled.

Clarke nodded. “We find our way.”

 

They sat at the fire a little longer, barely speaking and merely appreciating the fact that they were here and mourning for the ones that weren’t. It was dark when Clarke stood up, eyes roaming over each one of the former delinquents sitting with her. She silently told them goodnight and moved off to Lexa’s tent.

At the entrance she hesitated, wondering when it had become normal for her to find Lexa’s tent for sleep - and then wondering if it should be. She briefly thought about going back to her room to spend her last night there, but immediately rejected that idea when it made her stomach turn into a tight knot. So she silently moved past the guard and stepped into the tent.

She found Lexa already curled up under the furs, with a single candle still burning next to her bedside. Removing her outer layers, Clarke walked up to the bed, and Lexa moved the covers back, a silent invitation to lie down next to her.  
Clarke climbed into the bed and rolled onto her side as Lexa moved to blow out the candle. She lied back down and took a deep breath.

“I promise we’ll come back here,” Lexa whispered to her. “We’ll visit them, and they can come to Polis. You won’t lose them. They’re your people.”

Clarke hummed something and moved closer to her, intertwining their hands and feeling her warm breath against her cheek. She couldn’t see the careful smile on Lexa’s face, but the Commander’s breathing soon evened out as she fell asleep, leaving Clarke to silently wonder if she had been waiting for her to lie down next to her in bed.

Little did she know Lexa could barely fall asleep anymore without having Clarke next to her.

 

* * *

 

Lexa woke early that morning, just as dawn started to break. She moved out of bed and got dressed. As she finished tying her pauldron to her shoulder, Clarke stirred in the bed and made a soft mumbling sound. Her arm reached out for the empty space next to her where she only felt a hint of Lexa’s warmth remaining. A careful smile played on Lexa’s lips as she watched the blonde wake from her slumber. For some reason, she found the sight of Clarke waking up in her bed extremely comforting. 

“Clarke,” she said softly but clearly. The sky girl’s eyes blinked open, roaming around the tent and settling on Lexa. Her gaze moved down Lexa’s outfit, taking in her light weighted armor and Clarke nodded in acceptance. She rose from the bed, sitting on the edge and silently preparing herself for the day ahead. 

Lexa watched, regretting the fact that she didn’t let Clarke wake up next to her. Maybe she could’ve woken her earlier, so they could lie in silence for a little longer. Maybe they could’ve talked about trivial things before daybreak while the world was still asleep. But she had let Clarke sleep, looking too peaceful for Lexa to find it in herself to wake her.

She moved towards the blonde, and quietly sat down next to her. Clarke turned her head to look at her and Lexa kissed her, softly and sweetly. It was all Clarke needed to be convinced that today was a good day, and she moved her hand to Lexa’s cheek, pulling her in closer. She was about to lean back into the bed with every intention of pulling Lexa with her, when Lexa moved her hand down Clarke’s arm to pull back and keep her from falling back in bed. 

Clarke chuckled softly. At least it had been worth a try. But she understood they had to get ready, and so she moved to pull on her jacket and boots as Lexa gathered a few final things. 

 

 

They stepped outside and found the horses already being prepared by a few guards. Part of the Trikru camp was being dismantled, tents taken down as warriors awoke and stepped outside, stretching their muscled bodies.

“Heda,” they reverently greeted Lexa, and then glanced at Clarke, stumbling over their words and settling for a simple nod of their heads to her. Lexa bit the inside of her cheek, hoping Clarke wouldn’t notice their awkward acknowledgement and at the same time pleased Indra had kept her word.

She was glad when she spotted Lincoln, and made her way over to him. 

“Lincoln. You will ride with us,” she said. She looked behind him where Octavia was getting ready to leave and jerked her chin towards the girl. “ _Okteivia na goch Klark op_ (Octavia will guard Clarke),” she added quietly to him. He nodded his head with a well hidden smile and turned to inform Octavia when Lexa walked off.

 

 

Less than half an hour later, the camp had gathered and the warriors were ready to leave. Lexa and Clarke made their way to the gate of Arkadia, where some of the Sky people had gathered to see them off. 

“Commander. May your travels be safe,” Marcus said with a friendly smile. Lexa nodded her head in thanks and moved to face Abby, dread settling in her stomach at how Clarke’s mother would react.

“Keep my daughter safe,” she merely said. Lexa straightened her shoulders and nodded her head, not sure of how else to respond. She stepped back and waited near the horses, giving Clarke the opportunity to say goodbye to her people.

Octavia was currently caught in a bear hug from her brother and Clarke moved towards her mother. She didn’t hesitate to hug her this time, and her mother cradled her head.

“Be safe, hunny,” she said, swallowing away the emotions in her throat.

“I will, mom. I love you,” she said, feeling like she could say that because they had just survived a war together and she was about to leave for a city far away. Her mother responded with an ‘I love you too,” and, resisting the urge to keep a hold of Clarke and drag her back into the Ark to keep her there forever clutched against her chest, she reluctantly released her daughter from her arms. 

Clarke moved to her friends and received sentimental goodbyes from the remaining hundred, and when Bellamy finally released Octavia, Clarke enveloped him in a hug as well.

“Keep them safe for me, big brother. Especially since my mom still thinks that they’re just a bunch of kids. And in case Jaha comes back and tries to convince everyone he knows better, I’m counting on you to kick his ass out of camp.”

Bellamy laughed. “Okay, but if he gets angry, that’s on you, princess.” 

Clarke chuckled, stepping away from him. “May we meet again,” she said.

“May we meet again,” he echoed.

 

There weren’t nearly enough horses for all of the warriors, but Lexa handed her the reins of a dark mare, saddle covered with furs. Clarke patted the horse’s neck before mounting, shifting in the saddle to get comfortable as Lexa mounted her own horse. 

The warriors fell in line, most on foot but some on horses. A cart pulled up in front of them, Raven perched on the edge with a smug smile on her face.

“I swear this trip is going to be so much more comfortable for me than it’s gonna be for you,” she told Clarke, grinning. Clarke huffed, remembering the previous time she had spent more than a few hours riding a horse and the way her legs had ached.

“You are aware that we will be travelling through rough lands, Raven of the Sky people?” Lexa asked her. “The cart tends to be rather…bumpy, I believe the word is.”

Clarke couldn’t help but laugh as Raven’s grin slowly fell off.

A few moments later, Lincoln and Octavia appeared beside them on horses of their own. Lexa acknowledged them with a nod of her head and sat up straight as she gave the order to start their journey. Clarke cast a glance back at the gate as they started moving, a smile appearing on her lips as she saw her friends waving their goodbyes.

She turned back to face the girl riding beside her, and Lexa gave her a reassuring smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so our journey to Polis begins...


	14. The Perks of Traveling on Horseback

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This morning I literally did a little dance when I noticed the amount of kudos - this feels like one of my biggest accomplishments in life so far. (Yeah, go ahead, make fun about it)
> 
> My sole purpose of existence is now to write this story.
> 
> Your comments give me life, I love all of you beautiful people and thank you so much for reading.

They were half an hour into the journey, and Octavia hadn’t strayed from Clarke’s side. Lexa rode on the blonde’s other side, and Lincoln lingered a few paces behind them with Ryder and some other guards.

Clarke narrowed her eyes as she looked at Octavia who silently rode beside her. She looked over her shoulder to the other warriors.

“Hey O,” Clarke begun, “I know I must be amazing company, but if you want to ride with Lincoln I’m not stopping you, you know.”

Octavia looked at her, slightly confused. “Nah, I’m good,” she responded. She glanced at Lexa, but the Commander had her eyes fixed on the road ahead. 

Clarke raised her eyebrows. “Okay,” she mumbled. 

 

 

Their travel was slow as many warriors were on foot, but Lexa assured her their journey would progress faster after they had made their stop at TonDC. Clarke looked over at the Commander, who seemed almost relaxed as they rode through the trees. Lexa was obviously an experienced rider, and Clarke admired the way her figure naturally moved with the motions of the horse.

She smiled, and Lexa felt her gaze long enough to make her self-conscious. 

“Clarke,” she said, keeping her eyes in front of them.

“Hm?”

“You’re staring.” Lexa moved her gaze to find Clarke’s, and the corners of her mouth slightly lifted upwards.

Clarke pursed her lips in a smile and lingered her gaze a little longer before moving her eyes back to the road in front of them. She found Raven staring at her with a quirked eyebrow.

“You guys are aware of the fact that I am sitting right here and can see you, right? Please stop the eye flirting, it’s grossing me out. Octavia, you tell them,” Raven said jokingly, throwing both her legs onto the cart so she was facing them sideways. Octavia merely smirked and shrugged her shoulders. 

 

 

“So do you guys have any sort of power supply in Polis?” Raven asked a little while later, toying with the radio she had brought. “I’m thinking solar energy might be a good way to go, but for all I know you’re handing out batteries on the streets.”

Lexa smiled and called out over her shoulder to one of the guards behind them. She rode up next to them and Clarke recognized her as Echo, the girl Bellamy had been speaking of.

“Heda?” she asked.

Lexa nodded her head towards the girl on the cart. “Raven of the Sky here is a mechanic. You have more knowledge of the things she speaks of than I do. I want you to answer her questions as well as you can so she might use her talents when we arrive in Polis.”

Echo nodded her head in understanding and faced Raven with a crooked smile. She rode up closer to the cart and the two immediately engaged in conversation.

Clarke eyed Lexa, amused, who glanced back at her with a pleased smile. 

 

* * *

 

They stopped once around noon, giving everyone a chance to stretch their legs (or sit down to rest them) and eat their lunch, and giving the horses a break to munch on the grass in the area.

Lexa was glad the journey had been uneventful so far. With the Mountain fallen they certainly had much less to worry about, and even though a hint of worry always accompanied her, she found herself feeling much less tense than she would’ve been before. 

They had just started on their lunch when Clarke moved away from her friends. She glanced over to where Lexa was sitting on the ground a little further away, legs sprawled out and chewing on a piece of bread. Her eyes narrowed when she noticed a young woman sitting closely next to Lexa, her hands moving over the Commander’s thighs in repetitious movements. 

Clarke walked up to them, confused and slightly angered by this sight in front of her.

“What is she doing?” she asked Lexa, taken aback by the woman who didn’t even look up as she kept moving her hands over Lexa’s legs. Lexa barely got a chance to reply before Clarke was pushing the young woman away, who now had a slightly frightened expression on her face as Wanheda gripped her arms.

“Keep your hands off your Commander,” Clarke growled and the girl hesitantly stumbled off.

“Clarke!” Lexa hissed. Clarke turned to face her, still confused and disconcerted.

“Why was-”

“She was massaging my legs,” Lexa stated through gritted teeth.

Clarke raised her eyebrows as she waited for Lexa to explain further.

“The horse ride,” Lexa said urgently. “It tenses the muscles, and can cause injury if not treated properly. She is one of my servants, who takes care of my legs so I can ride as a Commander is supposed to,” Lexa said, slightly angered by this preposterous outburst.

Clarke’s face fell as she realized her foolishness. Of course the girl was only caring for Lexa’s legs because of the horse ride. If she had seen it with any other warrior, she would’ve drawn that conclusion herself and not given it a second thought. But for some reason, seeing a pretty young woman with her hands on Lexa’s thighs made her lose her sense of logic.

She slumped down next to Lexa with a sigh.

“You just laid claim to the Commander’s legs in front of my people,” Lexa murmured, concerned. 

Clarke rested her elbows on her knees and hid her face in her hands. “I know. I’m sorry,” she mumbled, looking through her fingers towards the group of warriors.

“It’s okay,” Lexa answered hesitantly, partly to reassure Clarke and partly because deep down she was enjoying Clarke’s apparent jealousy.

 

* * *

 

They arrived at TonDC late that afternoon. Clarke had been holding her breath as the first building came into view, but to her relief most of the damage the missile had caused had been repaired. The lingering signs were still there, but it wasn’t as brutal as she had imagined it to be.

Everyone seemed to be weary of the journey; feet and legs were aching, horses were foaming at the mouth and Clarke’s stomach was growling. Fortunately, the villagers seemed to be expecting them and it didn’t take long before they were seated at a table for dinner. 

“I feel gross,” Clarke remarked, cringing at the way her body felt after the long ride as Lexa did her best not to slump down too hard in the chair next to her. 

“Don’t worry,” Lexa said, low enough for only Clarke to hear. “You don’t look like it.”

Clarke flashed her a lazy smile, pleasantly surprised by this out of character comment from the Commander. 

 

 

The villagers were excited to have their Heda visit again and they had prepared a strong meal for the returned warriors. As they ate, Lexa silently watched with amusement as people clapped each other on the back, clasped forearms and smiled brightly at the stories they told each other. TonDC had finished burning their dead not too long ago, and now that most warriors had come home, Lexa found herself thinking that perhaps they could finally embrace victory. 

Clarke caught Lexa staring at them, her face set in a form of melancholic happiness. It was an open expression, too open for the usually stoic Commander, and Clarke realized that Lexa, too, must be tired. She reached out under the table, giving Lexa’s lower thigh a soft squeeze in assurance. Lexa turned to catch her gaze and a small smile appeared on her lips. Retracting her hand, Clarke continued eating, leaving Lexa to compose her features and focus on her meal as well.

And Lexa realized it then.

Clarke did make her stronger.

 

* * *

 

The Commander’s tent had been set up, along with various tents for the small group of warriors that would still accompany them to Polis. Raven disappeared immediately after dinner, saying she was exhausted from the journey so far (even though Clarke raised an eyebrow at this - Raven had spent the trip lounging in the cart). But Echo showed her to her tent and when Octavia received a nod from Lexa that showed she was free to go, she and Lincoln retired for the night as well. It wasn’t much later when Lexa decided the day had been long enough and left the table with Clarke by her side. 

 

Clarke entered the tent and was greeted by a steaming hot bath. She turned around to face Lexa who entered only a few seconds later. 

Lexa chuckled at the delighted look on her face. 

“I told the guards not to disturb us. You can take a bath, if you’d like.”

“You asked for them to bring in a bath?”

Lexa shrugged. When the blonde kept staring at her, she added, “Clarke, I feel gross too.”

Clarke smiled, pecking Lexa on the cheek and moving her hands to help take off Lexa’s pauldron. She placed it on the nearby table and Lexa moved to take off the rest of her armor. Clarke, meanwhile, undressed herself, unable to stand the temptation of the hot water waiting for her.

Lexa couldn’t help but watch as Clarke slowly uncovered her skin, Lexa’s own hands failing to open the clasps of the belt on her waist as her fingers uselessly fumbled with the buckles. She felt her chest tingle, breathless at the fact that this beautiful girl was undressing in front of her, and that her skin was hers to lay fingertips on. 

Clarke paid her no attention, however, as she eagerly made her way over to the water. She leaned back into the fairly large tub, eyes closed as a soft moan escaped her at the blissful feeling of the temperature. 

It had barely left her lips when she felt the water moving, and opened her eyes to see Lexa, naked, move into the tub as well with the most delicate look on her face. She seated herself across from Clarke, their legs gliding over each other until they rested comfortably. The water reached to just above their breasts and Lexa was still staring at Clarke, captured by the moment.

“I keep forgetting how beautiful you are,” Lexa whispered and it made Clarke’s heart swell. She smiled, feeling a blush creep over her cheeks. The blonde closed her eyes again, leaning her head back and enjoying the soothing feeling of the warm water that seemed to wash away all the tension of the day. 

Lexa ran her eyes over the curve of the Sky girl’s long, exposed neck. She took one of Clarke’s feet and rested it on her waist as she gently started massaging her thumbs into the sole. Clarke pulled away at the first unexpected touch, but relaxed once the ticklish feeling was replaced by the nice, firm pressure that eased her sore foot.

Lexa smiled and focused on the upwards circles she was pressing into the skin, taking her time. Holding onto Clarke’s ankle, Lexa gently lowered the foot back into the water and moved to take the other one. She repeated the process and this time continued upwards from her ankle. 

“Only a few warriors will be joining us to Polis tomorrow, so we don’t have to leave too early,” Lexa told her, voice melting softly through the sweetly steam-filled air inside the tent.

“Good,” Clarke hummed, glad to know they would be able to sleep in a little longer. Her hands had found Lexa’s lower legs as they rested near her side and she absentmindedly started running her hands over the brunette’s calves, enjoying the simple reassurance of each other’s presence.

“We should take baths more often. This feels amazing,” Clarke said contently.

Lexa smiled. “It does,” she agreed. She had always enjoyed taking a bath after a journey, letting it clean away the day’s worries, but with Clarke next to her it felt better than ever. 

“I think you’ll like it in Polis,” Lexa mused, eyes following her hands as they moved along Clarke’s leg. “I’ll remember to have baths readied after our training sessions. It should ease the burning in your muscles after a workout…” 

“Hey, Lex?”

“Hm?” She looked up at Clarke, whose eyes seemed to shine with adoration.

“I sort of really like you.”

If it was possible for Lexa to blush, Clarke could swear she did as Lexa lowered her head with a smile that she would almost call shy.

Lexa’s hands were now delicately pressing into the muscles of Clarke’s lower leg, and when she reached her knee, she once again turned to the other leg to repeat the motions. This time she didn’t stop at her knee, but pulled Clarke’s legs further over her own to reach her thighs. 

Her hands pressed into the muscles, causing Clarke to let out a content sigh because this _did_ feel great after riding a horse all day. Lexa’s fingers glided over her skin, moving around her leg and gently kneading the muscles underneath. The brunette unconsciously moved herself a little closer to get a better reach. She massaged all the way up until the curve of Clarke’s hipbone before moving her palm back around the inside of her thigh. 

“I thought this was supposed to relieve tension,” Clarke said softly, breathing a little harder. 

Lexa’s hand stopped moving and she looked up into Clarke’s dilated pupils.

“Sorry,” she whispered. 

Clarke huffed out a breath, something close to a laugh. “Please don’t ever be sorry about that.” 

With a slight smirk, Lexa sat up onto her knees as Clarke moved her legs around her and Lexa leaned forward to kiss her gently on the lips. As she pulled back, her fingers brushed ever so lightly from where they still lingered on Clarke’s inner thigh and she felt her sigh against her mouth. She smiled.

“I really do want to take care of your legs, though. Tomorrow we will be riding again,” she said, as both her hands started working on Clarke’s thigh muscles again. “If you want, I can assign someone to take care of your legs. A nice, pretty girl, perhaps,” Lexa murmured with a smile.

Clarke dropped her jaw, swatting Lexa on the shoulder in amusement. 

“You mean like the one that I scared away from you earlier today?” she asked. “Don’t tell me you would’ve reacted any better if you had found someone touching my legs like that.”

Lexa smiled guiltily. “You’re right. I’m sorry. I probably would have their hands cut off.” 

 

 

Covered in thin, clean clothes, they lied in bed that night, curled into each other’s arms against the furs.

Clarke’s hand traced over Lexa’s stomach as she felt the Commander press kisses against her neck. They stayed like that for hours, exchanging soft touches and innocently caressing the intimate curves of each other’s bodies until their eyelids grew heavy and sleep overtook them.


	15. You're the Reason I Love Losing Sleep

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since we're on the M side of ratings anyway...

Lexa awoke to the soft brush of Clarke’s lips against her exposed neck. She became aware of the hand moving under her shirt to caress her stomach, teasingly sliding upwards to the curve of her breasts and moving back down to the edge of her underwear. 

Lexa opened her eyes and turned to face Clarke, very much aware that every hope of sleeping in had now been thrown away by Clarke’s needing touches. 

Perhaps that wasn’t such a bad thing, though.

She sighed and kissed Clarke on the lips shortly. Turning over properly, Lexa moved her mouth to Clarke’s collarbone to leave a trail of kisses.

“Did you sleep well?” she asked softly.

Clarke nodded, moving her leg over the Commander’s hip and starting a slow, grinding movement. Lexa moved her hand to grip the lower side of Clarke’s thigh, pulling her close but holding her from moving too much.

“You shouldn’t exhaust your legs, we’ll be riding much today,” she mumbled.

Clarke sighed, because apparently Lexa kept finding reasons not to make love to her. And that wasn’t a good thing, because the days had been long, and Lexa kept giving her the seduction eyes and Clarke was getting _frustrated_.

“Lexa, please.”

At the sound of her voice, Lexa stopped caring and moved her hand down between them, pushing Clarke’s leg off her and straddling her instead.

She kissed the sky girl’s lips. “ _Ku_ (Fine).” 

Shuffling her way downwards, she bend to place sloppy, open mouthed kisses on the soft, pale skin of her stomach. It would tan, Lexa thought, once she’d take Clarke out to the lakes more often.

She reached the curve of her hips and felt them buck upwards. Lexa immediately looked up at her, placing her hands on the girl’s waist to push her back down.

“Don’t exhaust yourself,” she told her, and Clarke merely leaned her head back in frustration. 

The next thing she knew, Lexa’s mouth was sending her to the highest peaks of pleasure. Clarke could barely contain her moans, and Lexa wasn’t sure if she was slightly annoyed by the fact that the neighboring tents would be able to hear her, or rather self-satisfied that she was drawing out those sounds.

In the end, she settled for the latter, although she still told Clarke to bite on her knuckles when Lexa’s rhythm became unbearably sweet.

 

* * *

 

When they left the tent, the horses were already being readied for the journey ahead. The air was crisp and the sky bright, and Clarke looked forward to the scenery they would pass today. She quietly reminded herself to capture the images in her mind so she could draw them later and carve them into her memory forever. 

“We’ll have breakfast here and then be on our way,” Lexa told her. 

 

Breakfast was short and quiet. The village seemed to be on the edge of dawn, even though people were strolling past them with quiet acknowledgements. Clarke’s eyes didn’t stray far, sticking to the familiar range of her plate and the girl sitting next to her.

“I must attend to some things before we leave, but I will find you shortly.” Lexa’s hand brushed hers softly, before she walked off into the village and Clarke made her way to Raven, who gave her a knowing smirk.

“’Sup, Griffin.”

“Hey. Did you sleep well?” 

“Not as long as I had hoped. These grounder villagers certainly know how to impress visitors though, ‘cause I woke up to some very interesting sounds.”

Clarke’s cheeks flushed, her eyes widening. “Really? I must’ve slept through them.”

Raven quirked an eyebrow. “Right.” 

They walked through the streets, watching a few children run around. Without meaning to, Clarke’s stomach twisted a little and she wondered how many of their friends had been lost in the missile.

“So, Polis today,” Clarke said, forcing her mind to switch subjects. “Are you excited?”

“Definitely. Not so much about spending another day in that cart though. Seriously, my butt is sore from yesterday.”

Clarke chuckled and Raven started to ramble about all the things Echo had told her, leaving Clarke with an uncertain expression on her face as she used terms Clarke had never heard of.

“Cool,” she answered hesitantly, and Raven groaned at her poor reply. 

“Cool? It’s flippin’ amazing. With that technology I could increase the lifetime of the radios by days and we could even integrate radars into them,” she exclaimed, realizing that these were the times that she missed having Wick around.

“That does sound impressive. You should talk about these things with Lexa, they might be really useful to Polis’ defenses.”

Raven was about to tell her there was no way in hell she was going to discuss these things with the stoic, terrifying Commander (she’s not that gooey with everyone, _Clarke_ ), when that same intimidating Commander came walking towards them with an almost excited grin.

 

“Clarke.” The familiar way in which Lexa said her name still sent shivers through her spine each time. In her arms Lexa carried a thick, black and grey heap of fur. 

Clarke looked at her questioningly and Lexa unfolded the fur in her arms, holding it out to reveal a delicately made cloak. Clarke smiled brightly, remembering her promise and delighted at the gesture as Lexa motioned for her to turn around. She tied the cloak over her shoulders, leaving the hood to fall between her shoulder blades. 

The black fur moved through the air like charcoal as Clarke turned around, and Lexa was breathless. The light fur on the inside reflected the day light, shining glimpses of light around the sky girl’s figure like a halo for her being, while the dark outer layer covered it like the night.

“How do I look?” Clarke asked, a shy smile playing on her lips.

“Like a badass royal grounder,” Raven exclaimed, jaw dropping in amazement.

“ _Bilaik ai Haiplana_ (Like my queen),” Lexa breathed.

Only then did Clarke notice the young girl and older woman standing behind Lexa, studying her carefully and smiling proudly. Lexa saw Clarke’s curious gaze and tried to gather her thoughts.

“These are the people who made it. This is Norra, one of TonDC’s seamstresses,” Lexa said, looking at the older woman. “And this is Jara, her apprentice and second.” The dark-haired girl nodded shyly at Clarke and there was something uncomfortably familiar about her.

“Thank you,” Clarke told them sincerely. “It’s beautiful.”

“It fits you well, Clarke of the Sky People,” Jara said, and the older woman nodded in agreement. 

For a moment, Clarke studied the young girl in front of her. Her hair was the darkest shade of brown, bordering on black, and although she had a strong jaw line Clarke judged her to be no older than fifteen. Before she had a chance to ask more about her, Lexa spoke up.

“Let us get ready to leave. We should be able to make it to the capitol before sunset.”

Clarke couldn’t help but wonder if Lexa had noticed her curiosity and had intentionally cut off her train of thought. As they left, the two women bowed their heads in goodbye and Clarke noticed the soft look in Lexa’s eyes when Jara murmured a “Heda”.

 

 

They mounted their horses and Octavia fell back into her familiar place by Clarke’s side.

“That’s one hell of a cloak you got there,” Octavia remarked, eyeing the black fur draped over her shoulders. 

Clarke pursed her lips in a smile and readjusted the reins of her horse in her hands. “Lexa had it made.”

Octavia’s eyes widened. “She had it specially made for you? You’ve found yourself a keeper, Griffin,” she smirked.

 

 

Clarke counted the number of their party as ten. Besides Lincoln, Octavia, Indra, and Echo, three other guards accompanied them on their journey. One of them was Ryder, and although Clarke didn’t remember the names of the other two, she recognized their faces.

“I expect you in Polis in three weeks,” Lexa told Nyko, and he nodded his head in agreement. He was to stay in TonDC to train new healers with the medical knowledge he had gained from the Sky people. 

He turned to face Lincoln. “ _Mebi oso na hit choda op nodotaim, bro_ (May we meet again, brother),” he said, gripping his forearm. 

“May we meet again,” Lincoln echoed with a smile.

 

* * *

 

The people of the village had gathered to see them off, and ten minutes later they were on their way to Polis. Lexa had a hard time keeping her eyes off Clarke, whose blonde hair fell in perfect contrast to the dark cloak swaying behind her. She smiled.

“What?” Clarke asked her, laughing.

Lexa shook her head. “You look beautiful.”

Clarke bit her lip. “You’re not so bad yourself, Commander.” And once again, Clarke could swear it almost made Lexa blush.

 

 

“Raven to Ark Station, does anyone copy?” There was a short moment of static on the radio before a distorted voice broke through.

“Raven? This is Abby. Did everyone arrive at TonDC safely?”

Raven grinned and tossed the radio over to Clarke on her horse, who almost dropped it by surprise. 

“Mom?”

“Clarke! Are you okay? It’s so good to from you, hunny.”

Clarke smiled, studying the ground as they rode. “We’re fine mom. We’re actually on our way to Polis already. I’m sorry I didn’t radio in earlier, yesterday was sort of a long day.”

“It’s all right. I’m just glad to hear you’re okay.”

“I’ll let you know when we arrive in Polis. Say hi to the others for me.” They said their goodbyes and Clarke tossed the radio back to Raven with a smile.

 

 

They passed sceneries of dense forests and open meadows, switching between a steady trot and a comfortable walk. Clarke smiled to herself and realized that for the first time since they had arrived on the ground, she was finally able to enjoy the bright colors of the landscape around them.

One of the guards was humming an unfamiliar tune, and Clarke was pleasantly surprised that neither Lexa nor Indra told him to be quiet. For some reason, she had expected them to curse at him, ask in annoyance if he was bent on revealing their presence to every threat in the area; but they didn’t, and Clarke realized that they really did seem a lot more relaxed. 

 

“Lexa, back in TonDC… Who was that girl, Jara?” Clarke spoke up after a while of riding in comfortable silence.

Lexa’s jaw moved as she contemplated her words, considering her answer to simply be _‘The seamstress’ apprentice’_ , although she knew that’s not what Clarke meant. She kept her eyes fixed on the road in front of them, leaving Clarke to observe the side of her face.

“Anya’s niece.” The words were spoken coldly, like they barely meant anything to her, but Clarke saw the small glint in Lexa’s eyes and knew they meant everything.

“Oh.” 

Lexa finally turned to face her and Clarke tried to study her face in an attempt to figure out how much she could ask her. 

“Why didn’t you-”

She was interrupted by a shout from one of the guards behind them.


	16. Who We Have Always Been

In the blink of an eye Octavia’s sword was drawn and she urged her horse in front of Clarke’s, swinging at someone that had suddenly jumped in front of them. Clarke reached for the gun that she still carried around in her belt and spared a desperate glance towards Lexa, who had drawn her own sword by now and was shouting orders at her guards.

The attack was unexpected, but the guards were well trained. Lexa counted five men as they jumped out of the shadows. An arrow flew passed Clarke’s shoulder, only missing her by a few inches. 

“ _No! Dison laik ain!_ (No! This one is mine!)” One of the attackers ran towards Clarke, twirling a dagger in both of his hands. His large steps decreased the distance between them and Clarke aimed the gun at his head, readying her finger on the trigger, before an arrow was shot into his back. It was followed by another one and he fell to his knees, his gaze still focused on her. 

The gun was still strong in Clarke’s hold, aimed at the spot between the attacker’s eyes, but she held still and hoped she didn’t have to take another kill.

Although the attackers had the element of surprise, Lexa and her guards quickly gained the upper hand and soon enough, Echo’s sword was under the chin of the last attacker to remain alive - the one still on his knees with two arrows in his back.

“ _Chon don sen yo up?!_ (Who sent you?!)” Lexa roared, striding over to him.

A line of blood trickled from his mouth and he spat weakly on the ground, eyes still glued to Clarke. Lexa’s sword drew back the side of his hood, revealing the white markings on his face.

“ _Azgeda._ ” She spat the word like it was rotting on her tongue, and the next moment her sword cut through his throat. She turned to the party, most of who had dismounted as well and were stained with the blood of the assassins.

Her eyes fell on one of the guards. “Seize him.” The words had barely left her mouth before Indra’s sword was under the warrior’s chin. Lexa had turned to Echo, her eyes hard as she ordered the woman to stand down, sword at her neck. 

Clarke’s eyes were wide and her brow furrowed as she took in what was happening. “Lexa, what the hell? They just saved our lives - what are you doing?”

“They are Ice Nation,” Lexa stated, eyes glued to Echo’s, but neither of the restrained guards made any attempt to fight back. 

“As we have always been,” Echo answered through gritted teeth.

Octavia walked towards the other restrained Ice Nation warrior. “Atohl. Tell me you had nothing to do with this,” she said to the dark-haired man, a fellow second who she had been on guard duty with many times. His eyes turned to Lexa as the edge of Indra’s sword pressed into his neck. 

“Heda. I had no knowledge of this attack,” he said. 

“We couldn’t have,” Echo told her, eyes boring back into Lexa’s. “We have been with you all this time.”

“And yet your queen has knowledge of my travels.”

“As do many others,” Echo objected. 

“Heda,” Lincoln spoke up. “Are we sure this is the Ice Queen’s doing?” 

“And how do we know it wasn’t?” Indra growled, still eyeing Atohl closely.

“This wasn’t an attempt on your life,” Echo hissed, her gaze still fixed on Lexa. “This was an assassination attempt on Wanheda.”

There it was again, that title. Clarke’s frown intensified.

“You cannot prevent them from happening,” Echo spoke quietly but without bite. Lexa’s stomach turned and she lowered her sword from Echo’s neck. The Ice girl was right, and in that case they had no way of knowing if the assassins had indeed been sent by Queen Nia or if they were after Clarke themselves. 

The two Ice Warriors were released, and although Lexa _did_ trust them, she couldn’t be too cautious after the attack. She ordered everyone to mount up again, and much to Raven’s annoyance who had been enjoying the Ice girl’s company, she told Echo and Atohl to ride in front. That way, Lexa would at least be able to keep an eye on them. 

 

* * *

 

“Lexa.” Clarke’s voice was unstable, almost audibly shaking with the troubling thoughts she was having. “Why do they call me Wanheda and why were they trying to kill me?” she asked with urgency.

The Commander glanced at Octavia, who nodded and sped up her horse to the cart in front of them, immediately starting a conversation with Raven and leaving the two leaders to talk alone. 

The guards behind them had fallen back as well to give them some privacy, yet Clarke felt uneasy about it after the surprise attack.

Lexa turned her head to face her, but immediately averted her gaze as the words left her mouth.

“It means Commander of Death,” she said and Clarke’s stomach clenched.

“Of death,” she echoed, and it wasn’t so much a question but a confirmation made out loud as the meaning of the words settled into her mind. She tried to form her thoughts, tried to ask for an explanation, but it all got lost somewhere in her brain.

So Lexa explained it anyway.

“In our culture, when one takes a life, he receives the power of his victim. Your name has grown into a legend, Clarke. The stories of your killings are widespread, and they have made enough impression to gain you a title. They believe you hold the power of death in your hands, and there are many who wish to take it from you.”

Clarke’s legs felt light and she barely noticed how the horse kept walking anyway. _They wish to take the power of death from me._ It was almost funny, she thought, except it wasn’t in any way. A combination of fear, nausea and anger drifted in her body.

“And you’re only telling me this now?” she spat at Lexa, teeth gritted, as she realized the severity of the situation. 

“I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want to upset you,” Lexa answered, controlling her voice as she fixed her gaze back on the road.

“I’m getting sick of you keeping things from me. First you decide not to mention that that girl was Anya’s niece, and now I find out that I’m being hunted and people have been calling me the Commander of death,” Clarke spoke loudly. 

“Clarke,” Lexa said, forcing the coldness from her voice and sounding a little more sincere. “I just didn’t want to break you. I’m sorry,” she told her and was glad her guards were far enough behind to not hear their Heda apologize. “I didn’t tell you of Jara because I felt it was of no importance, and could only cause unnecessary, painful memories to arise. Like it does to me,” she added quietly. “I didn’t tell you of being Wanheda because you’re haunted by the deaths that have given you the title. We’re in times of peace, and I was hoping it would mean we would find some peace as well.”

Clarke ran a hand though her hair, trying to calm her thoughts and taking in Lexa’s words. 

“But peace does not ensure safety,” she murmured. Lexa’s nod contained a hint of sadness.

“It never does.” 

 

 

Thankfully, the rest of their journey did not contain any more assassination attempts. Lexa’s jaw was tense but she decided not to push Clarke into discussing what had happened. They spoke little of it, and instead Clarke made a casual remark every now and then about the lands they traveled through. Lexa would nod, reply with a comment of her own, keeping their conversations light and speaking of trivial things.

She silently hoped that Clarke didn’t notice the worry that seeped through Lexa’s stomach as her eyes desperately scanned the area for threats, or the way her voice still shook a little whenever she thought back to how close that arrow had flown by Clarke.

 

* * *

 

It was late in the afternoon when they made their way over a hill and Clarke caught her first sight of Polis. Or, more specifically, the tall building in the middle of it. Fire burned in a large brazier on the top of the tower like a large candle made to illuminate the lands below.

“Is that…” Clarke trailed off as her eyes stuck to the giant tower. She could only imagine how the city must’ve looked like before the bombs, and wondered how this building managed to survive.

Lexa looked at her, smiling, and nodded. “Welcome to Polis, Clarke,” she said softly.

“Holy shit!” Raven turned around in the cart to get a better look at the city they were headed for. “You weren’t kidding when you said it was tall.” 

Echo turned around slightly from where she was riding in front and smirked at Raven over her shoulder. 

 

Lexa ordered Lincoln and Octavia to ride ahead and announce their arrival. The city was larger than Clarke had expected after all the small villages they had passed, and as they rode closer, the faint sound of the inhabitant’s murmur reached her ears. 

Lexa straightened up in her saddle and Clarke copied her example. They rode tall and prideful - after all, they were returning victorious from a war. 

“When we arrive in the city,” Lexa said to her, “the people will have gathered in the streets. Most will be there to welcome us, but for your safety, I propose we do not linger in the crowds for too long.”

Clarke turned to catch her eyes, and she saw the worry, the exhaustion and so she agreed. She felt it, too.

 

 

As Lexa had said, the people had indeed gathered in the streets. Their excited shouts of “Heda!” were just enough to cover up the occasional distrusting look that was shot at the Sky people as their horses pushed their way through the crowd. Clarke ignored the shouted words, _all_ of them, until a high pitched voice called out her title frantically and she looked down to see a small girl looking up at her with big eyes.

“ _Yu laik Wanheda_ (You are Wanheda),” the girl said and Clarke swallowed, nodded. She said some more words that Clarke couldn’t follow, but a smile appeared on the girl’s lips and she felt obliged to return it. Lexa watched breathlessly. 

“She says you killed the Mountain that took her mother,” Ryder’s gruff voice broke through. “She says that she is going to be a great warrior like you.”

The smile threatened to fall from Clarke’s face, but she tugged it back up and reached down to ruffle a hand through the girl’s hair. The girl’s eyes went wide and for a moment Clarke panicked ( _what if being touched by Wanheda meant you were now stained with death or something?_ ) but a delighted grin appeared on the girl’s face and Clarke let out the breath she had been holding. 

People started swarming towards them and Lexa called out to her, resuming their way through the city’s streets. 

Houses sprung from the ruins of ancient buildings, scraps of metal and fur covers added to make them habitable. Lexa watched carefully as Clarke’s eyes roamed over the city, over the people, and eventually over her, making something move inside her chest when she saw the wonder in Clarke’s gaze. 

They were met by people who took their horses’ reins and allowed them to dismount.

“Let us go inside,” Lexa said to her, eyes skimming over the crowd even as her guards took their places around them, and Clarke and the others followed her into the tall building. 

Lincoln leaned over to Octavia, who walked only a few steps behind the blonde. 

“Is it what you expected?” he asked her.

“Everything and more,” she answered almost breathlessly and with a smile that Lincoln copied.


	17. Exceptions

A tall, bald man met them as soon as the doors opened. His long robe swayed around his figure as he fell into step beside Lexa. 

“Heda,” he greeted her. “Welcome back.”

“Titus.” There was a soft glint of familiarity in her eyes, something that seemed to put her at ease. 

“It is good to see your travels have been safe.”

She ignored his comment (because their travels _hadn’t_ been safe, but that was something she didn’t want to discuss right now).

They reached a metal door which Ryder pulled aside to let them in.

Lincoln placed a hand on Octavia’s arm. “We will go after them,” he said, and she nodded, remembering how he had explained that the elevator worked on manpower. The other guards that had been with them stayed behind as well at Lexa’s request as Clarke and Raven followed her into the elevator.

“Report,” Lexa ordered Titus.

“Polis fares well, Heda. Word of your victory has been spread to other lands. The Clan leaders have requested a meeting to discuss the future of the Coalition. Many are unsure about the Skaikru and what to think of them,” Titus spoke as the elevator started moving, sparing a short, distrusting glance at Clarke. When his eyes fell on Raven, she was already staring at him with a raised eyebrow. Lexa's brow furrowed as Titus resumed his speech. “It would be wise to invite the Clans to a meeting soon to discuss these things. The Coalition stands fragile-”

“I will not talk of this right now,” she said to Titus, her gaze moving to Clarke and her eyes softening as they found blue ones. The door opened and they stepped out into a long hallway.

“Heda, these are urgent matters-” 

“And they can wait until morning.” 

A few moments later the rest of the group arrived and Lexa turned to Echo and Indra. “Show our guests to their rooms.” 

They nodded, apparently already aware of where they were to reside during their stay in Polis and led the party down the hallway. Clarke turned to follow after her friends, expecting Lexa to be occupied with her Commander duties for the rest of the day, but a warm, familiar hand found her wrist.

“Stay,” she said softly, and Clarke could do nothing else than agree. Lexa’s eyes reluctantly left Clarke’s and she turned to the man beside them.

“We will speak of these things tomorrow, Titus. I am weary of our journey, and I’m sure Clarke is as well.” Titus kept his gaze on Lexa, and Clarke wasn’t sure if it was because he disliked her, or out of respect for his Heda. _Perhaps both._

“Clarke is here as the Sky People’s ambassador. I will show her to her room myself. We will retire for the night, and I do not wish to be disturbed for the rest of the day.”

Titus clenched his jaw but nodded his head, murmured a ‘Heda’ and walked off, leaving Clarke to follow Lexa down the hallway. 

“Is he your advisor or something?”

Lexa nodded her head. “That, among other things.” 

“I don’t think he likes me very much.”

Lexa glanced at her, one corner of her mouth lifted. “I like you, that’s all that matters.” Clarke smiled in amusement and Lexa didn’t mention that that probably was also exactly the reason why Titus seemed to dislike her. 

 

 

They walked through the hallway until Lexa opened one of the doors and led Clarke inside. The bedroom was large and filled with a couple pieces of furniture, including a large, comfortable bed.

“Is this your room?” Clarke asked in amazement, turning to look at Lexa.

“No. This will be your room. Mine is across from this one.”

Clarke opened her mouth to say something, but she had trouble finding the words without sounding too disappointed. “I have my own room?”

Lexa nodded. “You’re a leader, Clarke. Every guest of high status should be offered their own room, and you’re no exception.” Except she _was_ an exception in every other way. “But you do not have to ask if you’d rather wish to sleep in my chambers,” she added softly, causing Clarke’s lips to lift into a careful smile. 

“You know I’d rather sleep there anyway,” she answered, moving her arms around Lexa’s middle and kissing her once, gently. “But thank you.”

Lexa smiled and was glad she had closed the door behind them. She wasn’t able to resist the urge to feel those lips again and leaned in for another short kiss (which became multiple short kisses and eventually bordered on being one long one). 

“If you want, I can have them bring you dinner, or we can join the others at the tables,” Lexa told her, resting their foreheads together. 

“I feel like I owe it to Raven and Octavia to join them,” Clarke chuckled. 

Lexa nodded in understanding. “Then we will dine with our people.”

“Yeah,” Clarke mumbled with a smile. “With our people.”

 

* * *

 

The dining area was already bustling with people, servants piling food onto the tables and pouring drinks in emptying cups, and the distinct smell of roasted boar filled the air as it was cooked above a large fire. The crowd quieted slightly when Lexa appeared with Clarke by her side, making way for the greeting of ‘Heda’ and even the occasional murmur of ‘Wanheda’, but the excited conversations soon resumed when they seated themselves at the table. 

Clarke’s earlier worry that Raven and Octavia might be expecting her company seemed to be completely misplaced. Lincoln and Octavia were enjoying a conversation with some warriors next to them, and Raven was grinning over the discussion she was having with Echo.

“How did you know Echo would get along with Raven so well?” Clarke asked Lexa, eyes narrowed and smiling as she observed her friends.

“I didn’t. I only asked Echo to speak to her about Polis’ tech,” Lexa answered, tearing off a piece of freshly baked bread.

Clarke chuckled. “I guess it kind of makes sense. They’re both stubborn and strong-headed. Either a recipe for disaster or a very strange kind of friendship,” she mused.

Lexa smiled at her, chewing a mouthful of meat and bread. Polis’ sounds reached her ears and she felt a strange sense of nostalgia wash over her. This was her city, and Clarke was right here next to her.

“I’m really glad you came with me, Clarke,” she said, eyes soft as she smiled at Clarke.

“Me too,” Clarke answered, biting her lower lip in grin. She took a deep breath and moved her eyes from the dining area to Lexa. “Me too.”

 

* * *

 

Raven handed the radio over to Clarke after dinner and told her to keep it, she would create a bunch more of them soon with whatever scraps she could find around Polis. Clarke radioed to Arkadia later that evening and spoke with her mother and some of her friends. Monty seemed to be really excited to hear about Raven’s technology discoveries, and was suddenly determined to visit Polis himself. Clarke chuckled and told her friends she would ask Lexa if they could visit soon - although she already knew she would agree to it. 

 

* * *

 

“How are your legs?” Lexa asked with an amused smile as they walked back through the hallway to their rooms. The sun had just gone down and they had spent the evening speaking to Polis’ generals and inhabitants as they welcomed back the victorious leaders. Lexa had glanced questionably at Clarke when she entwined their fingers under the table during dinner, but had said nothing of it and instead accepted it with a small smile.

“They’re okay,” Clarke replied. Only a slight dull remained in her thighs from the horse ride, but it wasn’t as bad as it had been before.

“So I assume you don’t need a massage tonight, then?”

Clarke’s eyebrow shot up and she had to look up at Lexa to see her smirk.

“Are you offering?” Clarke grinned back. Lexa chuckled softly, but the sound died down as they reached their doors. Two guards stood outside Lexa’s room, while Ryder waited at Clarke’s door. 

“Rest, Ryder. It has been a long journey. Clarke will be staying with me, you can take the night off.”

He nodded his head before walking off and Lexa turned to the guards at her door. She spoke a few words in Trigedasleng and they nodded their heads, jaws clenched but otherwise showing no disapproval as Clarke followed Lexa into the bedroom.

“We can rest, they will not disturb us for the night,” Lexa said, taking off the outer layers of the formal clothes she had worn to dinner. Clarke did the same, taking off her boots and shrugging off her shirt. 

 

 

It wasn’t much later when they were lying bed, dressed down to only their underwear and the heat of their bare skin against each other underneath the furs and sheets. 

“The people have called for a celebration upon our victorious return,” Lexa mumbled against Clarke’s shoulder. “There will be a feast tomorrow night.”

Clarke hummed. “I’m looking forward to it.”

“Clarke,” Lexa began hesitantly. “It’s not…like your sky parties.” 

Clarke frowned, unsure why Lexa thought that should bother her. “I wasn’t expecting it to be,” she answered.

Lexa smiled and moved to look up at her. Clarke’s head was resting comfortably on her pillow and Lexa wondered how long it had been since the bed hadn’t felt this empty. It had always felt too large and cold when she was forced to sleep alone, and she pressed a kiss to the sky girl’s lips because Clarke made it feel _warm_. 

“If you’re tired, you can sleep.” Clarke’s voice was soft. 

Lexa shook her head. “I’m not that tired,” she answered and Clarke kissed her once again. 

“Liar,” she chuckled and Clarke could swear Lexa almost rolled her eyes. “Rest,” she whispered, pushing Lexa over to lie on her back and placing a soft trail of kisses down her torso before settling beside her once again. 

“I’ll be right here.”

 

 

The moon was high in the sky when Lexa woke a few hours later, breathing heavily and eyes wild. Clarke had fallen asleep next to her and as soon as she saw Clarke’s sleeping form beside her, she calmed down. She brushed a hand over Clarke’s bare side to make sure she was real, that her nightmare had not been reality, feeling her skin radiate against her palm.

“Hey,” Clarke whispered hoarsely as her eyes slowly opened. There was a soft smile on her lips as Lexa leaned in to kiss her. Clarke brought a hand up to brush over the tattooed skin of Lexa’s bare spine, feeling the way it arched when the brunette pushed herself closer. Lexa’s lips pressed harder against her and Clarke felt the tremble in her breath of which she was sure wasn’t arousal.

“Lexa,” she said softly as she pulled back, “what’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” she answered, blinking away all the emotions in her eyes because somehow Clarke always saw them. To avoid any more spoken words, she captured Clarke’s bottom lip between her own, sucking and biting on it and breathing heavily into her mouth. The feeling was intoxicating, but there was something urgent in Lexa’s movements against her that made Clarke worried. This wasn’t Lexa’s desire - this was stained with her fears.

But the Commander was lost in some sort of haze and Clarke let her. Lexa’s movements were frantic as she pushed their bare torso’s together, pressed her tongue into Clarke’s mouth and moved her hand down to secret places to make her come alive. She was persistent and completely focused on the feel of the heated skin below her, the heavy breathing against her neck and every other prove that this was real and she was very much alive. 

It was a ravaging confirmation - Clarke realized then. It was reassurance, and it occurred to her that Lexa’s fear for her safety might be even stronger than her own.

Clarke breathed her release against Lexa’s skin, pressed against her in the most impossible ways. The stifled sound of a sob that echoed through the room wasn’t her own, but Lexa’s, head buried in Clarke’s shoulder. Clarke’s hand reached up to tangle in dark locks, Lexa’s teeth letting go of the skin as she pulled her face up.

“Lex,” she whispered. “Hey. You’re not losing me.”

Lexa merely tightened her hold around Clarke and buried her head back into her chest.

“I’m not going anywhere.”

 

 

The rest of the dark morning hours were spent on the border between sleep and awareness of each other’s naked skin. Sunlight broke through the window, casting small rays of light into the bedroom, but Lexa’s arms were still wrapped around Clarke, her steady breathing making way for the occasional press of lips against pale skin. 

“What if I get them to respect me?” Clarke mused into the still morning air. “Maybe they won’t want to kill me if they respect me. Perhaps even like me.”

“Whether or not they like you will not stop them from wishing to take your powers,” Lexa answered. She moved her head to look at Clarke, deep in thought. “But maybe you can earn their respect by making them fear you.”

Clarke raised her eyebrows. “Didn’t I already kill enough people for that?”

Lexa hummed into her skin. “Those are the stories that they haven’t witnessed. You need to be able to prove your strength at any given moment, so that they’ll fear you enough not to risk their lives by attacking you.”

Clarke’s brow furrowed as she thought it over. “How am I supposed to do that?”

There was a soft sparkle in Lexa’s eyes as her expression softened. “I’m your training partner, remember?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trying to find a balance between enough drama to keep the story going and enough fluffiness to keep their special moments. It's hard guys, but I hope I'm doing okay :)


	18. Warriors

Breakfast was brought into the bedroom, and Lexa stared the servant girl down with a fierce glare, daring her to glance at Clarke. But the girl’s eyes stayed glued to the ground respectfully as she placed the tray on the table, murmured a _‘Heda’_ , and walked out of the room again.

 

* * *

 

The throne room was large and if Clarke thought Lexa had looked regal before, it was nothing compared to the way she sat on her throne now. Titus stood next to her, speaking of the Twelve clan’s reports and all sorts of other things that didn’t make it into Clarke’s brain as her eyes stayed glued to the Commander. She looked clean and powerful and young, and Clarke remembered that this was indeed Lexa’s _home_.

Titus had objected to Clarke’s presence at first but Lexa had silenced him, saying that the Skaikru’s ambassador had every right of hearing this as they would soon become the Thirteenth clan and therefore part of the Coalition. 

As Lexa’s eyes occasionally met Clarke’s and had trouble looking away, it became rather obvious to Titus that Clarke was much more than an ambassador to Lexa, and he cursed silently in realization that the rumors were true - and they would undoubtedly grow the longer Clarke spent in Polis.

 

* * *

 

The rest of the day went by fairly quickly. Lexa’s presence was claimed by Titus and Indra as they spoke of Polis’ welfare and other matters that had to be attended to after Lexa’s long absence.

Meanwhile, Lincoln and Echo had agreed to show the Sky people around the city. They walked through the market that was lined with stalls where Polis’ inhabitants traded goods and wares. As soon as they were recognized, Clarke and her friends were offered small pieces of cheese, decorative bracelets and various other random things in gratitude for their victory. Ryder trailed quietly behind them, always one hand on the hilt of his sword as he realized Lexa wouldn’t forgive him if anything were to happen to Clarke.

 

 

They reached a large building that was supported by crumbling pillars. A few words were carved on top of the archway, but they were faded and unreadable.

“What’s this?” Clarke asked. 

Echo merely smirked and nodded her head towards the entrance. “Come look for yourself,” she said and the group followed after her.

It turned out to be library, a _large_ one, and Clarke’s mouth fell open. 

“The people are allowed to read all these?” Octavia asked, running a hand over the books’ spines and Lincoln nodded. 

“They’re property of Heda. She made them available to everyone in the city, although not all know how to read.”

And Clarke chuckled, because the bookcase in Lexa’s bedroom had seemed well-filled, but it was nothing compared to what this building held. 

 

 

They moved further through the city streets, and their guides pointed out the training area, the bathhouse, the blacksmith and other remarkable sights until they noticed the preparations being made for the night’s celebration.

 

“You should totally wear your grounder-princess cape tonight, Griffin,” Raven said suddenly, and Octavia’s eyes went wide at the idea.

“That’d look so badass, especially if you’re going to be sitting next to Lexa,” she agreed, wriggling her eyebrows. 

Clarke rolled her eyes and chuckled. “I’ll remember,” she told them.

 

* * *

 

Clarke stepped into Lexa’s bedroom late that afternoon and was greeted by the sight of war paint smeared around green eyes. Lexa wore a long, dark dress that somehow still resembled armor but mostly hung loosely around the curves of her figure.

“Where have you been?” Lexa asked her, and Clarke heard the concern in her voice.

“Lincoln and Echo showed us around the city,” she answered in a calm voice, taking a few steps towards her and trying to reassure Lexa that her safety hadn’t been in danger. 

“You look beautiful,” Clarke said, closing the distance between them. The moment their lips touched, she felt Lexa’s shoulders relax.

Clarke pulled back and roamed her eyes over the exposed skin of Lexa’s neck and shoulder, swallowing as she fought the urge to run her hands over the area and tear off the dress that had been so delicately made.

“I had them make you something as well,” Lexa said as she tugged Clarke’s hand towards the bed where a dark green dress laid sprawled on top of the covers. Clarke ran her fingers over the fabric.

“It’s beautiful,” she said, and Lexa smiled.

“It’s only fitting,” she responded and watched with wonder in her eyes as Clarke tried it on.

 

 

Ten minutes later, Lexa ran a soft brush over, underneath and across Clarke’s eyes. The black lines contrasted the white and blue of her eyes, and it took Lexa’s breath away. 

 

Like Raven and Octavia had insisted, Clarke draped the cloak over her shoulders and Lexa couldn’t find the words to explain how _powerful_ she looked. For a short while, they simple looked at each other in silence. A corner of Lexa’s mouth was lifted, and Clarke realized they would never get out of this room if Lexa were to keep staring at her like that. 

“Well then, Commander. Let’s go celebrate our victory,” Clarke eventually said, smiling as she took hold of Lexa’s hand.

 

* * *

 

When Lexa had said that their celebrations were not like the Sky people’s, she wasn’t joking.

Whereas the party at Arkadia had been informal and lighthearted, everyone more or less doing whatever they wanted, Polis’ inhabitants were _prepared_. The tables were filled with exotic looking food and large casks of brewed drinks lined the streets. The people even seemed to have dressed up for the occasion, and Clarke wondered how long they had been waiting to celebrate this victory. 

 

 

The evening started out simple enough. An area on top of a slightly lifted platform had been reserved for the Commander, her throne placed to overlook the festivities. 

Lexa had insisted on extra chairs so Clarke and her friends could sit with her, although they would probably be spending most of their time among the people in the crowd. Still, it was about the notion. Skaikru deserved just as much praise for the victory against the Mountain, and Lexa was excited to give Clarke and her friends the celebration they had earned.

 

“People of Polis,” Lexa started and the crowd had almost completely quieted down the moment she appeared in front of them. “You have been waiting long for this day. We return victorious from a war that has been going on for ages. _Maunon don gon we!_ (The Mountain Men are no more!)”

A loud cheer sounded through the square and the roaring volume took Clarke’s breath away. Lexa squared her shoulders and lifted her chin, a proud smile on her face.

“Now. Let the celebrations begin.”

 

 

The first half hour of the night, Clarke spent at Lexa’s side. She looked around the square, filled with the excited movement of more colorful clothes than Clarke had seen on any grounder before and the sound of laughter that only just made it above the loud, rhythmic drumming of the musicians. 

Octavia had already dragged Lincoln off to dance, and Raven was smiling as she talked to a handsome young warrior. He walked off to refill their cups, and Raven smirked back at Clarke, wiggling her eyebrows smugly. 

“It seems the people are quite thankful for the Sky people’s help against the Mountain,” Lexa commented.

Clarke chuckled and nodded in agreement. “Although I have to say some of them didn’t seem too happy about us being here,” she said, recalling some of the distrusting glances that had been thrown their way.

Lexa shrugged. “You fell from the sky and ended a war that we had never thought to survive. It intimidates them. They might not trust you, but as long as they know I welcome you as my guests, you have nothing to fear.” 

Clarke looked at her, wondering where the earlier worry in Lexa’s eyes had gone. “They won’t try anything, even if they’re out for the power of the legendary Wanheda?” she asked half jokingly.

Lexa’s gaze fell on Clarke. She sat next to Lexa’s throne in a decorated chair, beautiful and regal, and only looking more powerful at the side of the Commander.

Lexa shook her head. “They wouldn’t dare.”

 

 

When the sky grew darker and half of the food on the tables was gone, Lexa stood up from her throne and motioned for Clarke to follow her. Clarke scanned her eyes over the crowd of people, and found Raven and Octavia sitting at a table with Lincoln, Echo and a few others. They seemed to be having a good time, and Clarke smiled.

“So does the Commander never get to celebrate _with_ her people?”

Lexa looked at her as they walked through the square, people moving out of the way to let them pass.

“My people celebrate for me, so I usually simply watch them for the beginning of the night.” They reached the table where Clarke’s friends were sitting, and Lexa smiled at her. “But now that we’ve seen to it that our people are happy, perhaps we can enjoy ourselves as well.”

 

“So, she comes back in through the gates and I ask her where her horse is. “It was the horse or the boar,” she answers me as she drops the dead boar on the ground, and that’s the first thing I had to teach her. _Heda, a horse is more valuable than the catch of a boar_ ,” Indra recited, her voice carrying her usual gruffness but with a hint of amusement - and Clarke realized that Lexa isn’t the only one who uses a stoic mask to hide another side.

The group chuckles at the anecdote, which was probably the most Clarke has heard the warrior speak at once, and nostalgically Indra adds, “Anya still made her go back into the woods later that day to fetch the horse.”

Lexa nodded, remembering that day all too well. “She did. It was a good horse.”

 

 

A little while later, the drums started a simple beat and after a few moments, a small amount of people began murmuring a melody. It took a while to set in, but steadily the sound grew until there was a large group in the middle of the square, loudly roaring a song that sounded strangely victorious.

There was a smile on Lexa’s lips as the sound of more than a hundred voices took over the entire city and it was something she had never thought to hear again. 

The song of victory, the one she had been taught as a child and had only softly hummed to herself before or after a harsh battle. Then, it acted as comfort. Now, it was so much more than that.

 

_Oso kamp raun hir_

_Nou rowe up nau_

_Oso laik gonakru_

_Chon don breik dison geda au_

 

Clarke was awestruck, and she glanced to the side to see the same amazement on her friends’ faces. She nudged Octavia in her side.

“What are they saying?” she asked just loud enough for Octavia to hear over the breathtaking chorus of loud voices. Octavia listened intently, translating the sentences into Clarke’s ear one by one as well as she could. 

“Here we are, don’t turn away now. We are the warriors, that freed these lands.”

Octavia was smiling brightly as she spoke the last words, and when Clarke turned to lay eyes on a breathlessly watching Lexa, she suddenly felt like she knew what victory meant.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can you believe I actually made that Trigedakru victory anthem rhyme?  
> Well, sort of.
> 
> Totally unintentional, but I am so proud of myself.
> 
>  
> 
> (Inspired by the chorus of 'Warriors' by Imagine Dragons)


	19. To Appreciate a Commander

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here, have some more jealous Clarke.

“All right Griffin, let’s show these grounders how it’s done.”

Octavia was smiling brightly as she tugged at Clarke’s hand, excitedly leading them onto the square. The victory song had made way for a rhythmic, tribal beat and there even seemed to be a traditional dance pattern to it. Even though Clarke was sure Octavia must have been taught the dance moves from Lincoln at some point (and that she could probably execute them _well_ ), Octavia paid no attention to the others around them as she started her own odd but intriguing mixture of the classic sway of hips and firm, tribal steps that were similar to those dancing around them. Clarke was hesitant at first, but the people around them were cheering and soon enough she, too, was swept up in the dance. 

 

Lexa watched from where she still sat at the table, struggling frantically against the urge to join Clarke at the dance area and wrap her arms around her middle so Clarke’s hips could move _against_ her as her breath ghosted over the back of the sky girl's neck.

But she couldn’t, she told herself.

She shouldn’t.

She clenched her teeth together against the warm sensation in her stomach and hoped everyone was too distracted by the feast’s activities to notice the way her eyes stayed glued to Clarke’s swaying figure.

 

 

Two more songs had passed when the crowd made way for a group of sparsely clothed, handsome young men and beautiful young women. Their steps were in line with the beat of the drums as the exotic looking group moved through the crowd, who had started a loud cheer at their appearance.

Hips swayed, bellies danced and arms moved seductively through the air. 

Clarke watched intently as the dancers made their way to the center of the area, starting a synchronized dance. It was quite an impressive performance, the precise and fluid movements of their exposed bodies moving in sync.

The dancers’ movements eventually became more individual, still sharing similarities but moving out of formation and merging with the crowd around them. She barely noticed how Lincoln had come up behind Octavia, wrapping one of his arms around her middle, giving the dancing young men close to them an intimidating stare.

Clarke felt a blush creep over her cheeks as a few of the dancers made eye contact, gradually moving closer. Her own movements became simpler as her focus moved to the smooth motions of the tanned bodies in front of her. 

Something flipped in her stomach, and she turned her head to search for Lexa, her body suddenly flushed. 

 

To her amusement she found one of the dancers giving Raven a rather impressive lap dance, but her mouth fell open when her eyes fell on Lexa. She was still in the same spot Clarke had left her, only now three young women surrounded their Commander. 

Two of them flanked her, laying the touches of lingering fingers through the ends of her hair, the side of her face and the top of her hands that rested on the chair. Lexa’s jaw was tense and her eyes focused on the movement of the girl in front of her, the dancer's breasts remarkably exposed as she swayed expertly in front of Lexa. When the girl lowered herself from where she had been hovering over Lexa, settling inches above Lexa’s thighs and still moving her hips sensually, Clarke pushed her way harshly towards them. 

 

Her steps were firm and determined as she strode over to them, Lexa’s eyes suddenly flicking from the dancer’s to that of Clarke’s who appeared behind the girl. 

“Clarke.”

Clarke squared her shoulders as she came up beside them and fixed her eyes in a dangerous stare on the dancer in Lexa’s lap, who paid her no mind. Lexa’s eyes were wide and she moved to get up, but Clarke held her back. She moved a hand to the top of the dancing girl’s chest, just below her neck, and pushed her off Lexa’s lap. As the girl stepped back with a defiant look, Clarke’s hand slipped upwards to the curve of her neck and she had to restrain herself from choking the girl altogether.

It ran through her mind but she kept herself from saying it out loud - _The Commander is mine._

The girl seemed to get the message and relented, moving back into the crowd. Clarke turned back to Lexa, and Lexa’s breath escaped at the intensity of her blue eyes. The other women that had been lingering near Lexa’s side had reluctantly stepped back as well and when Clarke leaned forward to whisper in her ear, Lexa tried her best to keep her face stoic.

“You’re coming with me.”

 

* * *

 

The moment they entered the bedroom, Clarke slammed her into the door.

“When you said it wasn’t like our parties, I didn’t realize you meant practically naked women would be lining up to give you lap dances,” she growled, face close to Lexa’s.

“Clarke, I’m the Commander. They were only-”

“What? Showing their appreciation?”

Lexa swallowed, because _yes_ , that is what her people would call it. She was about to tell her she had nothing to worry about, when Clarke leaned in and took Lexa’s bottom lip carefully between her teeth. She pulled it slightly and Lexa let out a soft growl at the sting. 

“Do I not show you enough appreciation, Commander?” Clarke breathed huskily against her lips. “Are you so soon to forget how my fingers make you feel the moment they lay theirs on you?”

There was something primal in her voice, and Lexa wasn’t quite sure if it was anger, but it was passionate and for some reason it made her breathe a little harder, made her skin flush with heat.

Clarke’s hands came up to Lexa’s sides, holding her in place while she pressed a few forceful, hungry kisses to Lexa’s lips. She nipped down her jaw line, soon enough reaching Lexa’s neck and sucking violently on the skin there. Her hands pulled at the front of Lexa’s clothes, dragging her away from the door, through the room, and pushing her against the opposite wall so the guards wouldn’t be able to hear everything so explicitly.

For a moment Lexa fought back, pushing her lips against Clarke's in a battle of dominance to let her know she wouldn't give in that easily. But Clarke met her with equal force, and eventually Lexa relented. She knew she could easily overpower Clarke, but instead she let her have her way.

 

Soon enough, Lexa’s clothes were off, her delicately made dress now lying crumpled on the floor. Clarke was insistent, her mouth claiming Lexa’s in the most urgent ways. She marked Lexa’s neck, her shoulders, the top of her breasts and every inch below that, whispering words of possession until Lexa panted in the heat of the moment, that yes - she was Clarke’s, and no one else’s. 

Clarke’s jaw tensed, because she knew that Lexa would always belong to her people; but still she took every opportunity to claim her that night, taking every sound from the Commander’s lips as her own, because _she_ had created them.

“I don’t care for them, Clarke.”

Lexa tried to say more, tried to explain that the girls had meant nothing to her and that she only wanted _her_ , but Clarke was taking her roughly and something was blocking Lexa’s throat, something that forced her to breathe heavily.

Clarke’s fingers were persistent and her mouth forceful until Lexa’s head flew back and her chest heaved and Clarke _knew_ that she had claimed her in every way she could.

 

“Clarke.” Lexa’s breathing had only barely calmed down as she entwined her tired legs with those of the other girl, sinking into the bed and reaching out for the warm body beside her. Clarke moved to lie beside her, her arms around Lexa as she nuzzled herself into the sky girl’s neck for comfort and ran a hand over the smooth plane of Clarke’s stomach.

For a moment, they quietly listened to the sounds of the ongoing celebration outside. 

Clarke frowned as she thought things over. “Are you doing this on purpose?” she suddenly asked Lexa.

“Hm?” Lexa hummed into her skin.

“Were you trying to make me jealous?” Clarke clarified, her frown still in place as her eyes slightly widened at the realization.

Lexa moved to look at her. “You were jealous?”

Clarke almost rolled her eyes. “Like that wasn’t sort of obvious.”

A corner of Lexa’s mouth lifted. “No, I wasn’t doing it on purpose.” She leaned her head back against Clarke. “I have to say I don’t mind the outcome, though.”

 

* * *

 

The sounds of celebrations continued long into the night, the people finding entertainment in a great many things. 

Raven walked past a group of jugglers and fire breathers, where she stopped momentarily to inspect how they did it, and eventually walked up to the area where a fighting contest had started. Like expected, she found Octavia watching with great interest, standing ready to participate herself.

“Hey O, have you seen Clarke?”

Octavia reluctantly looked away from the match in front of her.

“No, not since those fancy dancers appeared.” She glanced towards the empty throne and then towards the table they had been sitting at earlier before looking back at Raven.

“The Commander isn’t here either. Maybe they’re having their own private celebration,” she chuckled carelessly with a raise of her eyebrow before moving her attention back to the wrestling warriors rolling in the dirt.

Raven rolled her eyes and smiled, nudging Octavia in the side before taking a seat next to Echo and Lincoln, not too far away.

“I know what we need to liven up those parties at Arkadia. Fire breathers.”

 

* * *

 

Clarke grumbled that it was way too early when Lexa urged her to get up.

“The morning is the best time for training, Clarke. We will not have many onlookers and the air is still nice and cool,” Lexa explained as she threw on a thin shirt and pulled on a pair of deerskin trousers.

“It’s not going to be the best time if I am barely awake,” Clarke objected. 

Lexa watched her for a moment, contemplating her next move. She jumped back onto the bed, causing Clarke to squeal out at the unexpected move, and positioned herself to straddle her. Lexa leaned down to place a kiss on Clarke’s neck, moving up to teasingly nibble below her ear. 

Gradually, she pulled back the bed sheets, exposing Clarke’s skin to the cool air. Lexa’s warm hands glided down Clarke’s sides, and she pulled back to hover over blue eyes. Clarke nudged her chin upwards, trying to connect their lips, but Lexa pulled away further until she completely sat up again.

Clarke sighed at the denial, but wasn’t going to make an effort to chase after her. When that became apparent to the Commander, she decided on a different tactic; one that had always worked on herself when she was younger, although she tried her best not to focus on those memories too much.

Her fingers started moving fast in quick, short motions against Clarke’s sides, causing her to squirm and giggle beneath her.

“Lexa, what the-” Clarke tried to roll out from underneath her without success, and Lexa didn’t stop her tickle attack. “Okay, okay, I’m coming with you! Stop it!” Clarke chuckled while swatting Lexa’s hands away, and only then did Lexa move off her, a bright smile on her own face.

 

And Clarke pulled on her clothes in a daze, because the last thing she had ever expected was for Lexa to tickle her.

But oh, she loved this side of her.


	20. The Ice Steals Your Sight from Me

The streets of Polis were still decorated with signs of the celebration of the night before. Clarke made a mental note to check on her friends later, although she was fairly sure they would be all right. 

 

She had expected Lexa to lead her to the training grounds, but once again, she found herself on the outskirts of the city. 

Clarke narrowed her eyes, a joking smirk on her face. “Is the great Commander afraid of having her people see how she gets her ass kicked by a sky person?”

Lexa gave her an amused smile, but did not respond. She knew Clarke understood why Lexa brought her out here. She knew Clarke understood that both their titles as Heda and Wanheda demanded certain things from them; that Lexa couldn’t just train Clarke and hold back like she wanted to if others would be looking, that the people shouldn’t be made aware of Wanheda’s physical weaknesses nor of Heda’s weakness for her. But most of all, and Lexa was almost unwilling to perceive this as a reason, she enjoyed being alone with Clarke.

 

 

The air was fresh, leaving a cool trail down Clarke’s lungs. She breathed in deeply and realized Lexa had been right. The sun was rising slowly in a clear sky and it seemed like a perfect morning for training. She bounced on the soles of her feet, a bit more excited about the start of the day.

 

Reaching a small clearing, Lexa stopped walking. She took off her belt, placing her sword and daggers on the ground, and turned to face Clarke.

Clarke raised an eyebrow. “No swords today?” 

The corner of Lexa’s mouth lifted. “Considering last time, you shouldn’t have a problem with that,” she responded. Clarke bit her lower lip, trying to hide a smile that almost sprung from embarrassment. “So, no. No weapons today.”

For some reason, this made Clarke feel a little uncomfortable. There was no blade in her hand to connect with Lexa’s, no hilt to grip tightly or defend herself with.

This would all be direct, physical contact. 

“Get in stance,” Lexa ordered her.

Clarke swallowed and placed her feet a little apart, focusing her eyes on Lexa’s hands (and _definitely_ not on her green eyes that sparkled in the early daylight) while bringing her hands up in front of her chest, curled up into fists. 

“Rotate your back foot. You won’t be able move quick enough if your feet are in the wrong angle or too flat on the ground.”

Clarke looked down at her feet, trying to copy Lexa’s example.

“Good.”

Whereas Lexa had waited for Clarke to attack her first last time, she now wasted no time. As soon as Clarke got in stance and found her eyes shortly, Lexa threw a straight punch at the side of Clarke's face. She aimed it carefully and although it hit Clarke’s cheekbone, it wasn’t hard enough to leave a bruise.

“Defend yourself, Clarke.”

Clarke grumbled and raised her arms a little higher.

 _The best defense is a good offense._ Her father’s words ringed through her head - they had proved to be true many times when they used to watch old football games on the Ark.

And so she lunged forward, swinging an arm at the girl in front of her. Lexa easily blocked it by raising her arms. Clarke swung again and this time Lexa ducked to evade it. Clarke’s arm swung through the air, the force finding nothing to collide with. The movement left her outer side defenseless and Lexa took the opportunity to spin her around, using her own arms to immobilize Clarke’s and locking around her head, something alike to a headlock. 

“Your swings are too reckless, Clarke. You need to punch with aim.” Lexa’s breath was warm against Clarke’s neck, her lips close to grazing the back of her ear.

“I’ll have you know I once defeated Anya in hand-to-hand combat,” Clarke replied huskily. “It seems I have a thing for picking out people’s weak spots.” She moved a hand down behind her to squeeze Lexa’s thigh lightly, effectively loosening the Commander’s grip enough to punch her elbow into Lexa’s ribs.

Lexa groaned slightly at the impact before composing herself once more.

“You won’t always be able to use your charms to get out of a fight, Clarke.” She moved to stand beside her.

“Don’t flare your arms around. Use straight punches.” She showed a few examples, shadow boxing an imaginary enemy.

Clarke nodded and copied her example. Lexa came up to stand behind her.

“Good. Just move your elbows.” Her hands guided Clarke’s arms inward, keeping her elbows at the right angle. “It’s not all about the force of the punch. It’s about speed. Accuracy. Footwork.” She lightly tapped Clarke’s heel with her foot, correcting her stance. 

Lexa moved to look over Clarke’s shoulder, taking hold of her wrists and lifting them into the right position in front of Clarke as she spoke.

“These are your defense and offense. Keep yourself guarded.”

Lexa’s front was warm against Clarke’s back, and Clarke tried with all her might to focus on the words Lexa was speaking, and not on the low sound of her voice or the way she could feel her breath against her neck. 

_Keep yourself guarded._ Clarke smirked, feeling Lexa’s soft form behind her.

She turned around while grabbing hold of one of Lexa’s arms, turning it around in an odd angle and forcing Lexa to move with the motion. 

“You know, at first I thought _you_ would be too much of a distraction for _me_ during training,” she said teasingly close to Lexa’s ear. “But it seems you’re having more trouble with this than I am.”

Clarke wasn’t exactly sure how Lexa did it, but she managed to free herself from the hold fairly easily, turning around to face her and smirking as she did so. 

“Don’t underestimate me, Clarke.”

 

 

Lexa was careful not to leave any bruises or scrapes, telling herself it would be no good if people were to notice them (and she just didn’t want to hurt Clarke more than necessary). The sun rose higher into the sky and Lexa was glad to notice Clarke was making progress. Her punches became stronger, no longer wild swings without aim, and with the occasional correction or reminder from Lexa, Clarke paid more attention to her footwork.

Gradually, Lexa started using more body momentum to see how Clarke would deal with being overpowered. A close struggle caused them to fall to the ground, rolling over each other in an attempt to get the upper hand. 

Clarke moved to pin Lexa’s hands above her head, smirking down at the Commander as she did so. 

“You’re getting better, Clarke.”

Before Clarke had a chance to smugly say, ‘I know’, Lexa wrapped her legs around Clarke’s middle, pushing her hips upwards with enough force to roll them over.

A bead of sweat rolled down Lexa’s forehead and Clarke liked to think that their training had been the cause of it, and not the warmth of the sun above them. 

“ _Heda._ ”

Lexa immediately released her grip on Clarke, her face hardening into that of the Commander before she had even completely moved off her.

“Ryder. Speak.”

He had made his way into the clearing, stopping several feet away from them. His eyes showed no disrespect as they settled on Lexa’s. “A delegation has arrived. They request an audience.”

“Who?”

“ _Azgeda, Heda._ ”

 

* * *

 

“Care to explain why your queen wouldn’t come here herself?”

Lexa pushed through the doors of her throne room, glancing at the Ice Warrior that bowed only slightly as she sat herself into her throne, Titus and Indra standing on either side of her.

“She has duties far more important than this visit, Heda.”

“So do I. So speak. What is your reason for coming into my city and declaring yourself my guest?”

The man smirked slightly, a faked innocence in his voice. “The war is over, Heda. The war that united the twelve clans. Is it not to be expected that the ambassadors visit for a meeting?”

At the mocking tone of the man’s voice, Indra’s hand tightened on the hilt of her sword from where she stood next to Lexa’s throne.

Lexa’s face remained impassive. “You have not been invited. I will hold the Coalition’s meeting when I see fit - until then I see no reason to discuss these things with you.”

The Ice Man’s eyebrows were raised as he shrugged his shoulders. “Queen Nia asks for clarity. If not given, she will presume the Coalition’s existence has served its purpose and no longer stands.”

Titus angrily stepped forward from where he had been standing on Lexa’s other side. “The Coalition stands. If your queen breaks the rules that hold this alliance together, she will suffer the consequences. Attack one and you attack all.”

Although the ambassador’s words were barely a threat, they caused a painful realization to shoot through Lexa. The clan leaders _did_ need clarity if they were to uphold the Coalition, and they needed it _soon_ , judging by the way the Ice Queen was already getting restless. 

She held up her hand, silencing all. The Ice Man squared his shoulders.

Without averting her eyes from the white-marked man in front of her, Lexa spoke. “Titus, invite the leaders of all clans to a meeting. Tell them to travel light and arrive soon.”

 

* * *

 

“Okay, hold up. You’re saying Lexa is training you - as in Lexa, fine ass Commander that you’re totally gay for - and you didn’t end up having hot, sweaty sex with all that physical tension?” Raven looked at Clarke doubtfully. 

Clarke rolled her eyes. “No, ‘cause she’s _actually_ training me. And we were sort of interrupted,” she added, mumbling.

Raven’s gaze moved accusingly to Octavia, who almost choked on her lunch.

“Well hey, what are you looking at me for? I’m not one to interrupt them during their shenanigans,” she defended, widening her eyes before focusing on her food again.

“No, it was Ryder, one of the guards,” Clarke said, frowning as she remembered his words. “He said a delegation had arrived. Lexa went off to deal with it, said she didn’t want to wait if it could be something important.” She left out the part about the flash of anger in Lexa’s eyes when she heard it was Ice Nation.

“Speaking of important things,” Raven grinned, “I’ve gotta show guys something.”

 

 

From the outside, the workshop didn’t seem too large. The building blended in with the rest of the street; scraps of metal and wood to make up the walls, randomly lined with cloths of fur. Once Raven led them inside though, Clarke’s eyebrows shot up. The interior was quite impressive and larger than expected, cluttered with odd-looking, mechanical devices and simpler tools that she recognized from the Ark.

“Where did you get all this?” she asked in amazement, looking at the large crates full of wires.

“Turns out they’ve always had a bunch of this stuff, but never really did anything with it. Whether it’s because they have no idea what to do with it, or because they just don’t _want_ anything to do with it - I don’t know.” Raven walked over to a table in the corner of the room. 

“What I do know,” she grinned, “is that I have a bunch more of these for you.” 

She showed them the radios and Clarke smiled.

“Way to go, Raven,” Octavia commented impressed and Raven merely smirked and shrugged like it was nothing.

 

* * *

 

“No,” Lincoln corrected her. “ _Ai laik Clarke, en chon yu bilaik_ (I am Clarke, and who are you).”

They walked through the streets of Polis, passing small houses and occasional market stalls. Raven and Echo had said something about meeting up with one of the few city’s mechanics who was interested in the upgrades that Raven’s knowledge had to offer and since Lexa hadn’t returned from her meeting in the throne room yet, Clarke had decided to join Octavia and Lincoln on their patrol through the city. 

Clarke frowned. “I don’t get it. Why not just use ‘like’ in both sentences?”

It took Lincoln longer to form the answer than expected, and Octavia cut in. 

“ _Laik_ is sort of the simpler version. Something either is or isn’t. _Bilaik_ has more meaning to it, just like in _Gonasleng_ (English); what something is supposed to _be like_.” She spared a glance back at Lincoln. “At least, that’s what I made out.” 

Lincoln smiled and gave her a nod.

“Right,” Clarke said, trying not to seem too confused. 

 

A commotion at the city’s gates drew their attention. People gathered and cheered as they saw a hunting party return with an exceptionally large creature they killed.

“ _Chit daun bilaik?_ (What is that?)” Clarke asked, using the words she had recently learned, and for a moment wondering if that was the Pauna she and Lexa had encountered earlier.

“It looks like a huge, black deer,” Octavia mumbled, impressed with the hunters’ catch.

Lincoln nodded. “ _Trilipa_ ,” he said. “It’s an advanced species of deer that has grown sharp teeth and has evolved to a predator. This one has been stalking the forest around Polis.”

The hunters seemed proud with their kill and Lincoln noticed the gleam in Octavia’s eyes - undoubtedly eager to catch such a large creature herself one day. She had told Clarke how the hunters got to keep the pelt of their honorable kills to hang in their homes as a token of accomplishment.

“Heda will be pleased to know the beast won’t bother the people anymore,” Lincoln said. 

Clarke nodded and smiled, knowing that Lexa would probably also be a little disappointed that she didn’t get to take it down herself. 

But, she had promised Clarke, the Pauna’s pelt would cover their bed some day.


	21. Drifting at the Edge of All Things

“Nero,” Lexa greeted the young blacksmith with reverence in her eyes. 

“Heda.” He smiled and motioned to his apprentice to take his place behind the anvil to continue hammering on the heated metal.

“Welcome back to Polis,” he said, buckling a pair of tongs to his belt. “Judging by your victory over the Mountain, I assume the sword I made you has proven itself worthy?” 

“Your sword has saved my life,” she nodded. “However, I will require a new one, since the other didn’t make it unscathed.” She decided not to tell him that the sword had broken after the incident with Pauna and that instead she had used a regular weapon from her warriors during the final battle at the Mountain. 

He nodded, not minding the work order from his Commander and only feeling honored to be making her weapons. Lexa ran her fingers over a strap of leather on one of the workbenches, which would undoubtedly later be used to fit on the handle of a blade. 

“You’re the best bladesmith I know, Nero. That is why I am trusting you with making a sword for Wanheda,” she told him. 

He didn’t show his surprise, but only puffed out his chest with the responsibility. 

“It would be an honor,” he replied.

She suppressed a smile at his response, pleased to hear the sincerity in his words. “I want you to use the best quality steel we have, the same one you use for my weapons.” She roamed her eyes over a collection of daggers hanging on the wall of his workshop before turning her gaze back to him. “I will bring Clarke of the Sky People soon to test the weight of the blade and adjust the hilt to her liking.”

A smile appeared on his lips. “I won’t disappoint you, Heda."

 

* * *

 

Lexa found Clarke in their bedroom later that day, reciting simple sentences in Trigedasleng to herself. The sound of Clarke’s voice speaking in Lexa’s native language made her heart skip a beat - it was beautiful.

She stood silently in the doorway, listening to the words and watching how Clarke’s brow furrowed as she murmured the syllables, undoubtedly in deep concentration. She had her sketchbook in her lap, and Lexa wondered what breathtaking image she was working on.

“I heard Lincoln has been teaching you.”

Clarke looked up, a smile forming on her face when she noticed Lexa’s presence.

“Thought it might be useful,” she replied with a suggestive quirk of her eyebrow, and Lexa’s jaw shifted as she thought of all the situations she’d love to hear her speak those words.

 

Lexa moved through the room, breathing out a deep sigh as she moved to take off her long coat. It felt good - both being able to sigh out loud without anyone giving her an accusing look, and taking off the weight of her coat; it relieved a lot of tension from her shoulders.

“How did the meeting go?” Clarke asked her, following Lexa’s movement with her eyes from where she sat on the leather couch.

Lexa took her time, placing the coat neatly on a rack in the corner of the room and taking another deep breath before answering.

“There’s unrest among the clans. I’m inviting the leaders for a Coalition meeting to reaffirm the terms of agreement and make sure we sustain peace.”

Clarke frowned. “Why would they not want to keep peace?”

“There are always conflicts, Clarke. The only reason I was able to get them to join the Coalition was the war against the Mountain. We had a common enemy, a reason to work together instead of fight among ourselves. But now that the threat of _Maunon_ is gone, those with a large army have no reason not to wage war against another clan, just for the sake of power.”

“What about trade? If the clans are dependent on each other, they might be less likely to wage war.”

“Perhaps,” Lexa answered. “But that has never been enough in the past to bring them together.”

“But you don’t have to _bring_ them together, you just have to give them enough reason not to break the bonds they already have.”

Lexa smiled at her. “Your leadership skills haven’t changed, Clarke.” 

Clarke’s lips pursed in a smile. “So I’m guessing my mother will be coming as well, then?”

Lexa nodded. “Although officially you are not the Thirteenth Clan yet, the Skaikru’s council will be invited. Normally only the clan’s ambassadors would do, but this is an important meeting that I’d rather discuss with the leaders directly.” 

Lexa sat down beside her, her eyes tracing Clarke’s drawing. It was an unfinished sketch of Polis from afar, the large tower standing out above a forest of trees that surrounded the city. It was beautiful and suddenly she was looking at the city through Clarke’s eyes; breathtaking and imposing, the way she hadn’t looked at it for a long time.

“It also means the other clan leaders will be arriving soon,” Lexa continued, her voice lower, “and that you might have to be ready to earn their respect sooner than anticipated.”

Clarke found her eyes, a hint of insecurity but mostly determination in them, and Lexa stood up again.

“We were interrupted this morning, but if you feel up to it, I would very much like to continue your training.”

Clarke put down her sketchbook on the table. She bit her lower lip, because her muscles were aching and she _didn’t_ feel like anymore training, but she understood the necessity and rose from the couch as well. 

“Okay,” she replied with a sly smile, “but only if I can have a bath afterwards.”

 

* * *

 

This time Lexa did take her to the training grounds. It was much larger than the one near Arkadia, with wooden fences around the area where the occasional onlooker leaned onto the railing to watch.

Lexa chose a random spot - almost carelessly, Clarke thought - and took two wooden daggers from the heap of training equipment. She tossed one of them to Clarke and called out to a teenage boy that stood near the sideline. He nodded his head reverently and joined them.

“Watch carefully,” Lexa told Clarke. She mumbled a few words to the young man and he nodded once again before taking his stance across Lexa.

“ _Jomp ai op_ (Attack),” she told him with a jerk of her chin.

Clarke watched as the boy advanced and took a well aimed swing at Lexa, although she deflected his arm with her own and used his momentum to turn him and place the dagger in her other hand below his chin.

Lexa released him and the light-haired boy stepped back again. She turned to face Clarke.

“Now you try.”

She motioned for the young man to face Clarke and ignored the way his eyes glanced at her uncertainly. Clarke gripped the wooden dagger a little tighter, flexing her fingers around the handle.

“Don’t focus on your weapon; it is merely an extension of your arm. Concentrate on the flow of your movements and that of your opponent’s,” Lexa instructed her. 

Clarke narrowed her eyes in concentration and the boy across from her looked at his Heda, until she gave him a nod in permission to advance.

He stepped forward and made the exact same movement he had made earlier against Lexa. Clarke managed to deflect his arm but was too slow in her own movements to retaliate.

She pursed her lips and the boy’s eyes stayed glued to the ground, but Lexa confidently gave her a few tips, corrected her stance and told them to try again.

 

They repeated the movement many times until Clarke managed to execute it flawlessly. She was grinning and the boy across from her nodded his head in approval, the same grin on his face.

“Good,” Lexa said and Clarke saw the pride in her eyes. “Again.” 

 

Lexa showed her two more moves that she had Clarke practice on the young man until her wooden dagger ended up under the boy’s throat every time he advanced.

Lexa was not surprised when a small crowd had formed to watch Wanheda’s fight moves, and she was pleased that Clarke seemed to learn quickly. Although her opponent made no attempt to fight back, Clarke soon enough knew the basic moves to quickly disarm her enemy. This was sure to leave an impression. 

“Damn, Clarke! You and me, next time!” Octavia shouted from the sideline, and Clarke couldn’t help but chuckle at her friend’s comment. 

 

Her breathing was heavy as she released her opponent. She waited for Lexa to tell her ‘again’, but it didn’t come and she looked up at the Commander to find her watching with proud, soft eyes.

“Thank you, Aden. That will be enough for today,” Lexa said to the boy without taking her eyes off Clarke.

Clarke quirked an eyebrow at her. “Can I have my bath now?” she panted with a laugh.

 

* * *

 

Surprisingly, Lexa did not take her straight to their room. The sun was starting its descent from the clear sky and Lexa guided her through Polis’ streets. 

The Commander acknowledged the excited greetings of ‘Heda’ with a friendly nod of her head, and she felt confident as she walked next to Clarke, Ryder trailing behind them. Those she caught glaring at the blonde, Lexa gave a sharp look of herself until they averted their eyes.

They passed the library and Clarke’s lips quirked up in a smile.

“Did you ever read all of them?” 

Lexa looked at her questioningly.

“The books. Did you read them all?” Clarke asked again, roaming her eyes over the impressive building.

“No,” Lexa answered. “That would be close to impossible. There are hundreds and I only have so much time to spend on reading.”

Clarke hummed in understanding. 

“I would like to, though,” Lexa added. “There’s lot of history in them. When I was young, Titus only made me read the big and boring ones that he thought necessary for my understanding of leadership.”

“Like Marcus Aurelius’ writings?” Clarke chuckled.

Lexa’s eyes fell on hers, delighted and surprised. “Yes,” she said, “among others. I liked that one, though.”

Clarke grinned. “Yeah, we had a copy of that on the Ark. Good stuff.”

 

 

They walked until they came upon another imposing building. Although the outer walls had been worn out through the years, a shade of white still covered them. The tall archway was supported by pillars, and Clarke followed Lexa up the steps towards the entrance.

 

Inside, the air was noticeably warmer and humid. Lexa gave her a sideways grin before she tugged her further down the large corridor.

Clarke’s eyes traced the images on the wall, impressive drawings of landscapes, trees and even naked people; but she considered them all art. The ceiling of the building was high, and their footsteps echoed through the hallway. Most of the doorways held no door, and Clarke’s gaze fell on piles of clothes inside the rooms and a collection of what looked like towels hanging on the walls.

“Is this…”

“A bathhouse,” Lexa confirmed, and she was glad to see a smile on Clarke’s face. She knew the sky people were a little more inhibited when it came to nudity, so she didn’t exactly expect public baths to fit with their culture.

The sound of talk and laughter echoed off bare walls and seemed to get closer and closer, but before they reached the end of the hall where an entrance opened up into the large main room, Lexa led Clarke into a different hallway.

They came upon two large, wooden doors and Ryder dutifully took his place in front of them as Clarke and Lexa made their way inside.

Clarke’s mouth fell open and she was fairly sure Lexa had heard her gasp. The air smelled sweetly of flowers and a warm light fell from candles placed around the room. This room, too, was supported by whitened pillars that surrounded a large, steaming bath.

“The public bath is further down the main hallway but this one is reserved for the Commander, so you do not have to worry about sharing it,” Lexa told her, and her voice was quiet through the steam filled air.

“Except with you?” Clarke said, her eyes still taking in the room with wonder.

Lexa shifted on her feet. “Not if you don’t want to, of course.”

Clarke turned around to face her, grinning. “Of course I want to. Come on.” She took Lexa’s hand and tugged her away from the door. 

 

The heat of the steam was enough to cause small beads of sweat to form on the back of Clarke’s neck. She reached down to take off her boots and socks, leaving her bare feet to touch the smooth stones of the floor. Lexa had taken off her outer shirt, leaving herself in a tank top and with just enough bare skin to deal with the warm air surrounding them. 

She stepped closer to Clarke and her hands moved to the edge of the blonde’s shirt, finding her calm eyes before lifting it over her head. She roamed her eyes over the newly exposed skin, searching for any new injuries or bruises from the training before glancing over it again, this time merely in adoration.

Clarke leaned in to place a chaste kiss on her lips before lifting Lexa’s top over her head, and Lexa moved towards a small basin in the room.

 

From a glass bottle she took a handful of creamy substance that Clarke considered to be the equivalent of shampoo, and motioned for Clarke to sit down on the small bench next to the basin.

She rubbed the substance into her hair, and it smelled of sweet herbs and flowers and suddenly Clarke realized why Lexa’s hair always smelled so nice.

“It will wash out most of the dirt before we go into the bathwater.”

Clarke hummed in response, and it was supposed to be an acknowledgement but the sound was more or less formed by the amazing feeling of Lexa’s hands in her hair, her long fingers scrubbing away all the dirt and tension.

She closed her eyes and leaned her head back against Lexa’s bare stomach behind her, a content smile on her face as the brunette’s fingers rubbed down the sides of her head. 

“Good?” Lexa chuckled. Clarke opened her eyes to find Lexa looking down at her and she hummed in confirmation. 

 

A minute later she rinsed out her hair above the basin. Clarke’s hair, now a darker shade of blonde, dripped down her back and she turned around with a smile before sitting Lexa down and taking some of the shampoo in her own hands. She rubbed she soap into the dark curls that hadn’t been in any braids since Clarke had undone them the night before.

Lexa closed her eyes and breathed in deeply, the familiar sweet smell running through her lungs and the gentle kneading of Clarke’s hands in her hair. Clarke wasn’t one of her servant girls with delicate hands and precise movements (the ones she had dismissed a long time ago because she was perfectly capable of washing her own hair) - no, Clarke was loving and safe and the only person whose hands she even wanted in her hair.

She felt a drop of sweat rolling down her lower back and decided not to wait any longer with entering the bath. Clarke reluctantly pulled her hands back as Lexa stood up and rinsed out her hair.

They shuffled out of the rest of their clothes before moving to the pool’s edge.

 

A few small steps led into the water. The bath was deep although a ledge ran along the sides of the pool, forming a perfect platform to rest on.

Lexa entered first, moving into the pool and leaving Clarke to watch how the water claimed her long, bare legs. It had only just reached the Commander’s hips when Clarke eagerly followed.

She let out a soft hiss at the initial heat of the water against her calves, but it didn’t take long for her to adjust to the temperature and soon enough she sat down next to Lexa. The tension flowed out of her sore muscles and she contently leaned back against the pool’s edge, body submerged.

“Oh, this feels great,” Clarke sighed. She stretched her legs out in front of her, feeling how the water seemed to make them weightless.

Lexa’s smile seemed to indicate she agreed, and Clarke felt her place a soft kiss against her bare shoulder.

She turned to look at her, finding soft green eyes watching her intently, and caught Lexa’s lips in a sweet kiss. The only thing separating their naked bodies was water, and still it was too much. Lexa’s arms circled around Clarke’s waist and tugged the sky girl's back closer against her chest, wrapping her legs around Clarke’s middle as the blonde let out a content sigh and leaned into her. 

Lexa pressed her lips once more against her shoulder, nuzzling herself into Clarke’s neck before placing another kiss on the bare skin, enjoying the feeling of having Clarke this close to her.

Clarke’s eyes slowly closed as she leaned her head back, the fight moves from earlier still unconsciously running through her mind.

“I’ve been meaning to ask you,” Clarke mumbled, “would it be okay if some of my friends came to visit Polis as well?”

“Of course,” Lexa answered, her lips still against the skin between her neck and shoulder. “They’re your people, they’re always welcome here.”

Clarke smiled, running her hands along the skin of Lexa’s lower arms that circled her middle.

Lexa thought it over. “Maybe they could travel with the Skaikru’s council when they come here for the meeting. I had guards sent to escort them, so that will be the safest way for them to travel.”

Clarke opened her eyes and turned around to straddle Lexa’s thighs and face her properly.

“Thank you,” she said, placing a kiss against the corner of Lexa’s mouth, “for being so considerate.”

Lexa smiled as she pressed her lips against Clarke's neck and tightened her arms around her. “I’m just taking care of our people.”

Clarke grinned, feeling Lexa nuzzle herself into her skin again.

“You take care of what’s yours, huh?”

Something flipped inside Lexa’s stomach and a blush crept over her cheeks that wasn’t caused by the heat of the water.

“Always,” she answered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You're all awesome. Thank you for your support and comments :)


	22. Things We Should've Learned

“You smell like daisies.” Raven sniffed at Clarke, who pulled away slightly but couldn’t stop a grin from forming. Apparently Lexa’s shampoo was making quite the impression.

Octavia’s nose appeared close to blonde hair the next moment, inhaling audibly as well. 

“She’s right, you know,” Octavia said. She turned to Lincoln who sat next to her at the dinner table. “Why do you never smell like daisies?”

Lincoln raised an eyebrow and it was quite possibly the best face Clarke had ever seen on him.

 

“You must be Clarke…of the Sky People.”

Clarke turned to face the man who had come up to stand behind her and noticed the few white stripes on the side of his face. 

“Who wants to know?” Octavia asked in a serious voice and Clarke decided to keep quiet and see how the man would respond.

“I’ve heard a lot about you, Wanheda,” the man continued, ignoring Octavia’s question and keeping his eyes focused on Clarke instead. “Queen Nia was rather impressed with the stories she heard about you.”

Clarke narrowed her eyes. “Am I supposed to know this Nia?”

The man smiled. “You will, soon enough. I heard Heda Leksa wants to make your Skaikru the thirteenth clan. Of course, there would still have to be a Coalition for that.” His hand fumbled with the white hilt of a well hidden dagger that blended in with his clothing. 

Clarke stood up from her seat, leaving the man that had been towering over her only slightly taller than herself. 

“And for us to be the thirteenth clan, Ice Nation would still have to be one of the twelve other clans. But I’m sure they will be - your queen isn’t stupid enough to wage war against twelve clans and an army with guns, right?”

The man’s jaw moved at her words, grinding his teeth but still keeping the smile on his face. At that moment Lexa appeared in the dining hall and her eyes immediately fell on the Ice Nation man speaking to Clarke.

“As a fellow ambassador, it was nice to meet you, Clarke of the Sky People. I’m sure we’ll meet again.” He nodded his head and defiantly returned Lexa’s gaze as he made his way to another table.

 

* * *

 

From that moment on, Lexa spend every free moment of her time in the following days training Clarke in every way possible. She taught her various other fighting moves, and had Clarke practice against both Aden and herself until she was able to properly defend herself when they fought back.

Furthermore, Lexa told her about the twelve clans and their leaders. Information and knowledge, she knew, was an important aspect of power. She wanted Clarke to be on her guard against the clans that she knew to be untrustworthy, and at the same time know which clans would most likely prove to be a good ally to Skaikru.

 

 

“What about the Boat People?” Clarke asked her one evening, lying in bed and tracing the tattoo on Lexa’s spine like she had done many times before. Her fingers were soft and with every touch Lexa could vividly remember what the markings on her back looked like.

“ _Floukru_ will side with us. Although they are not fond of war and will probably refuse to fight against others, Luna will vote to keep the Coalition if it means peace will be assured.”

Clarke’s fingers stilled as they came to the end of the tattoo’s black line on Lexa’s lower back. “But what about Skaikru becoming part of the Coalition? Will they vote in our favor for that as well?”

Lexa was quiet for a while before turning to lie on her back and facing Clarke. “I’m not sure, Clarke. The first vote will be to determine whether the Coalition will survive. If it doesn’t, then there will be no alliance for the Skaikru to become the thirteenth clan of.”

Clarke frowned. The Ice Nation’s ambassador had mentioned the same thing. “If it doesn’t survive, then that’s going to be one hell of a meeting. All the clan leaders will be there, right? If they don’t have to stick to the Coalition’s rules of peace anymore, then what’s to keep them from attacking each other right there on the spot?”

“We are.” Lexa’s eyes gleamed, and Clarke wasn’t sure if it was sadness or pride. Perhaps just a heavy responsibility.

 

* * *

 

The next morning, Lexa took Clarke to see the blacksmith, Nero. He handed her the roughly made sword, and Lexa felt proud as she saw the glint in Clarke’s eyes. 

“This will be yours,” Lexa told Clarke, who smiled brightly at her and then at the blacksmith.

“Go on,” Nero nodded, “see how it feels.”

The sword’s hilt fit perfectly in Clarke’s hands, although Nero stated that he would smoothen it out further to make the grip more comfortable. In an open area beside the workshop, Clarke held out the single-handed sword, swinging it in simple motions that Lexa had taught her and testing out the sword’s weight and feel. Although the weapon was still in its early stages, Clarke looked formidable with it. 

Lexa watched quietly, a warm feeling in her chest. Clarke’s motions were smooth and her expression concentrated but dangerous. The Commander's heart skipped a beat.

The blade was only slightly too heavy to feel as a mere extension of Clarke’s arm, and Nero said that he would add a fuller to make it lighter without losing the strength of the sword.

Clarke reluctantly handed the blade back to him, already in love with her new weapon, and he promised he’d have it done by tomorrow.

 

* * *

 

“Grenades.”

Echo raised an eyebrow. 

“You know, like bombs. But smaller. And throwable,” Raven smirked.

“And you think we will need those, because…” Echo reflected the brunette’s smile, quite excited at the idea of making explosives but still finding the need to keep a slightly indifferent attitude.

“Well, we don’t _need_ them… but it never hurts to have a few good tricks up your sleeve. You know, for when your queen comes marching on Polis with an army or something.”

Echo’s eyes turned cold and her expression hardened as she turned to face Raven.

Raven rolled her eyes. “I’m kidding. Jesus, stop being so serious.”

Echo turned her gaze back to the wires she was connecting and decided not to comment on it any further. Although Lexa was Heda and Echo respected her a lot, she was also loyal to her rightful queen. If those two would end up in a conflict that involved going to war, Echo wasn’t looking forward to choosing a side. She pushed the thoughts to the back of her head. The wires clipped together and she called out to Raven.

“Fixed it,” Echo told her with a smirk.

Raven grinned. “Cool. Now we connect the water pipes to the heater, and soon I’ll finally be able to take a shower again.”

 

* * *

 

A soft breeze brushed through the curtains in front of the balcony of Lexa’s room. Clarke sat on the couch, the radio lifted to her mouth and grinning widely as Monty told her how Jasper had raided the alcohol from Mount Weather and started his own make-shift bar at Arkadia.

“The real trick is making sure he doesn’t get drunk on the job,” Monty sighed with a slight chuckle. 

Clarke laughed. “Hey, by the way, Lexa sent a few guards to escort the council to the capitol. If you guys want, you can join them and come to Polis.”

A cheer broke out in the background and Clarke chuckled, making out the voices of Jasper and Bellamy that had been listening to the radio as well. 

“I think that means we’ll be joining them,” Monty said. “Your mom is staring at me from the other side of the room, so I think I’m going to hand the radio over to her now.”

“Alright,” Clarke grinned. “See you guys soon.”

She stood from the couch, moving to the balcony and looked out over the city. Polis’ sounds reached her ears just a moment before the radio crackled to life again.

“Clarke? How are you?” Abby’s voice seemed lighter than before, still genuinely interested in her wellbeing although mostly just glad to talk to her.

“Hey mom,” Clarke replied, still smiling. “I’m doing great. Polis is beautiful, I can’t wait for you to see it. How is everyone over at Arkadia?”

“That’s good to hear, hunny. Things are settling down here. We even managed to establish a trade with TonDC. I guess we have Marcus to thank for that, he mentioned to the village’s elders that he was a friend of Indra’s and the next moment they were sending us carts full of supplies.”

Clarke chuckled. “That’s great, mom. I wanted to tell you that Lexa is inviting all the clan leaders to a meeting, so a few of her warriors will be arriving soon to escort you to Polis. They should be there by tomorrow.”

“Then we’ll be expecting them. I can’t wait to see you again, Clarke.” 

“Don’t worry mom, I’ll see you soon.”

They said their goodbyes and Clarke looked out over the balcony, feeling lighter than ever. The Coalition’s meeting might still be a reason for worry, but right now Clarke just breathed in deeply and smiled, allowing herself to hope that everything would turn out all right.

 

Lexa found her in that exact spot, wind softly blowing through her blonde hair and a content look on her face. 

She closed the bedroom door behind her as softly as possible, hoping it would contain the peaceful feeling of the room. She took the weapons off her sides, placing them in the room and walked up behind Clarke. 

“Hey,” Clarke greeted her before Lexa’s arms even wrapped around her. 

Lexa hummed in response, pressing a kiss to her cheek before gazing out onto the city as well. The day was bright and the warm sun made up for the slightly cool breeze in the air. 

“The sword from this morning,” Lexa mumbled, “it fit you well.”

Clarke grinned, knowing where this was going by the way Lexa’s arms around her tightened and one of Lexa’s hands shuffled it’s way under the edge of Clarke’s shirt, stroking the bare skin of her stomach.

Clarke turned her head over her shoulder in an attempt to catch Lexa’s eyes. “I didn’t know you got off on seeing me with a sword. Explains why you prefer to just watch when I’m sparring with Aden, though.”

Lexa bit her own lower lip, stifling a chuckle. “ _Shof op, Klark._ ”

She tugged the blonde back inside, and Clarke didn’t object when Lexa pulled her into a bruising kiss and pushed her back onto the couch with a soft chuckle. The Commander’s skin was glowing, and Clarke had been right - seeing her lover look so formidable and beautiful at the same time was doing things for Lexa, things that made her heart beat in all the right places.

Lexa’s hands were already under Clarke’s shirt, running up and down her bare skin and Clarke gasped, because this was different from the usual way Lexa made love to her. Although the hint of Lexa’s distinctive gentleness was still there, this was mostly the Commander’s desire and Clarke was loving it. She sighed heavily when Lexa’s hands brushed over her breasts, her lips moving to kiss and suck on Clarke’s neck. Lexa’s bodyweight felt familiar and comforting on top of her and Clarke leaned her head back, exposing more skin to Lexa’s mouth. 

One of the brunette’s hands moved further down, and she pulled back for the shortest moment to search Clarke’s eyes for any objection. She found none, and Lexa smiled as she connected their lips once again in a sweet token of affection.

Unbuttoning Clarke’s jeans, Lexa’s hand made its way down, down until she reached a warm center and established a rhythm that had Clarke gasping against her. Lexa studied her blue eyes, watching as Clarke’s face lit up in pleasure, and a dozen warm feelings coiled around in Lexa’s own body.

Daylight streamed through the window, footsteps echoed somewhere further down the hall, but Lexa couldn’t care less. She continued her motions, pressed tightly against Clarke and placing sweet kisses and nibbles on her skin until Clarke let out a violent gasp and her body shook, causing Lexa to moan in excitement with her.

 

 

They had only just switched to lazy kisses when there was a harsh knock on the door. One of the guards outside called something to Lexa, and she sighed before rising from the couch and moving towards the door. She opened it slightly, leaving Clarke out of the visitor’s sight. 

“Heda. There is something we need to discuss.” Clarke could make out the muffled sound of Titus’ voice from behind the door.

“And this can’t wait?” Lexa asked him, her face and voice once more fixed in that of the Commander's.

“I think you will find it a matter of urgency, Heda.”

“Then speak Titus, and do not waste my time.”

He clenched his jaw and hesitated a moment, knowing the guards near the door would overhear his words as well.

“The party you sent to escort the Ice Nation’s council has returned. Without Queen Nia… and without their own bodies.”

 

 

Lexa’s stomach turned on itself in anger, remembering the Ice Nation’s habit of sending only her people’s heads back. She cursed at herself for not sending one lone rider with the message, or half an army to escort Nia. But no, she realized, that wouldn’t have made much of a difference. A single messenger would have been just as easily beheaded and sending a larger force could have been an invitation to start a war. 

 

And so the four horses had made their way back home with only their rider’s heads in the saddlebags. 

“Maybe you should’ve just sent their own ambassador,” Clarke mumbled, standing next to Lexa as the horses were led back to their stables. 

“I _did_ ,” Lexa replied, jaw tense in anger and disgust. “But I thought it a sign of respect to send riders with him, like I had done for the other clans.”

“It doesn’t seem like the Ice Nation really cares about respect,” Clarke remarked gloomily.

“No.” Lexa turned around, her long coat waving through the air as she moved to walk back down the street. “They don’t.”


	23. Titles and Names

One by one the clan leaders arrived at Polis, some sooner than others since they had less distance to travel. Skaikru was one of the first to arrive and Clarke was grinning as she waited for them at Polis’ gates with Raven, Octavia and Lincoln.

The group was visible in the distance, coming down the hill as the sun was slowly starting its descent. The air was filled with the smell of the food that was being prepared for dinner. Lexa had insisted that the Sky People were welcomed like any guests of honor would be - with a good meal and warm rooms ready for them - even though there would still be a larger feast on the day before the meeting, when all of the clan leaders had arrived.

 

“Mom.” Clarke smiled brightly as her mother enveloped her in a hug. Next to them, Octavia had jumped into Bellamy’s arms. 

“I’ve missed you.” Abby’s eyes were glazed over and Clarke enjoyed the familiar feeling of her mother’s arms around her. “You look good,” Abby said, taking in Clarke’s bright eyes and her new set of clothes. Her eyes fell on the sword on Clarke’s hip. “I see you’ve got your own sword now?” her mother continued, eyebrows rising, and Clarke couldn’t quite tell if it was surprise or horror. Either way, it made her smile a bit.

“Come on,” Clarke said. “Lexa’s waiting for you.”

 

Lincoln’s smile was bright when he noticed Nyko with the group. They hugged tightly and the healer explained he had decided to join the Sky group when they passed TonDC, since he was to leave for Polis as well. 

 

Murmurs of ‘Skaikru’ echoed through the city’s square as the group was led through the streets.

“Sooooo, this is Polis? I was sort of hoping for something a little more sophisticated,” Jasper remarked, glancing around. “Like Ancient Greece or something. You know, with sculptures of naked people everywhere.”

Raven grinned. “I missed you guys.” 

 

 

The moment they entered the throne room, Lexa got up from her throne. Her eyes were warm as they fell on Clarke, leading the group into the room.

“Lexa,” Abby nodded her head, Marcus standing next to her with a smile.

“Chancellor. It’s good to see you have arrived safely,” Lexa replied.

“Thank you, Commander, for sending guards to escort us here.” Abby smiled, and Clarke wondered what had happened to make her mother so much less colder towards Lexa. Perhaps, after seeing her daughter looking so well, she finally believed Lexa really only had the best of intentions.

Lexa merely nodded her head and roamed her eyes over the group again.

“I’m sure you’re all tired from your journey. Dinner will be at sundown and rooms have been prepared for all of you. Feel free to explore the city, my guards will be close by if there is anything you need.”

 

Clarke watched the group move back out into the hallway, knowing Lexa had enough people to show them to their rooms. She looked back at Lexa, looking beautifully powerful in her throne.

“ _Gon we_ (Leave us),” Lexa told the guards at the doors inside the room, and within moments they left as well.

Clarke sighed and walked up to Lexa, who merely watched as Clarke settled herself on Lexa’s lap, wrapping her arms around the Commander’s neck.

“You know, it’s going to be really hard,” she mumbled.

“What is?” Lexa responded as Clarke pressed a kiss to her forehead.

“Pretending I’m not completely in love with you when there are going to be a dozen clan leaders watching us.”

Lexa chuckled softly. “Yes.” It was something she was not looking forward to herself. “I know.”

 

* * *

 

“So who’s in charge back in Arkadia, now that you, Marcus and Bellamy are here?” Dinner was served on the tables and Clarke tore off a piece of bread, combining it with a chunk of meat before putting it in her mouth.

“Do you remember Charles Pike?” Abby asked her.

Clarke frowned in thought. “Yeah, he taught us Earth Skills before we were sent down.”

Abby nodded. “He and the survivors from Farm Station found their way to Arkadia. Marcus and I decided to leave him in charge, with Nathan Miller as second in command.” 

Clarke glanced over to Kane, who was so caught up in a conversation with Indra and Octavia that he almost seemed to be forgetting about his dinner. 

“There’s… something else I need to talk to you about,” Abby continued. Clarke felt a hint of tension creep up her spine, but her mother was quick to ease it.

“I’ve talked to Marcus. We think it would be best if you were to have this.” Abby reached for something in her pocket and moved to place it in Clarke’s hand. The Chancellor’s pin rolled in her palm and Clarke frowned, wondering why it wasn’t attached to her mother’s shirt.

“I can’t be both the Chief Medical Officer and Chancellor at the same time,” Abby explained.

Clarke stuttered, confused by this sudden change. “Well, what about Marcus? He’s on the council. Or even Bellamy, or that Pike guy. I can’t be the Chancellor mom, not when I’m in Polis instead of with our people in Arkadia.”

Her mother’s expression was calm. “Then don’t be. Throw the pin away, renounce the whole idea of having a Chancellor. It’s up to you now.”

Clarke looked at Abby like she was going insane. “I can’t just-”

“Clarke. You know we will take care of our people in Arkadia. The council is intact, but we both know you should be the one to take the important decisions when it comes to being the thirteenth clan. And let’s face it, neither you nor Lexa would have it any other way,” Abby stated with a knowing smile, and Clarke sighed. She placed the pin in the pocket of her jacket, leaving it there to give herself time to think it over.

 

* * *

 

The Boat People arrived two days later, along with several other clan leaders that didn’t quite peak Clarke’s interest.  
Luna, however, did.

 

“Commander.”

Lexa was standing in the middle of the throne room instead of regally seated in her chair like she had awaited most of the clan leaders.

Luna’s hair was dark red and curly, and Lexa was flooded with a feeling of nostalgia. 

“Luna,” she replied in greeting, her voice softer and less commanding than she had spoken to the other leaders. “I welcome you to Polis.”

Luna nodded, taking in Lexa’s attire of formal yet comfortable clothing and taking a glance around the mostly empty throne room. Two people flanked the boat people’s leader: a girl with an impressive scar across her face and a young man who’s calm yet alert eyes took in every detail of his surroundings. 

Lexa repeated the words of hospitality, offering them rooms and dinner. Silence crept over them as the two leaders simply looked at each other for a while. But this was a formal welcoming, and Lexa decided to leave the other talk for another time. 

Just as Luna nodded in acknowledgement and was about to turn around to leave the room, a wave of blonde hair pushed herself through the doors.

“Lexa, I was wondering if-” Clarke fell silent as she took in the company Lexa had. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know you had visitors,” she apologized with a slight smile, feeling Luna’s eyes settle on her. 

Lexa’s jaw tensed. This was not the way she had hoped to introduce Clarke to Luna, and yet somehow she wasn’t surprised. Clarke had a habit of entering the room without announcing herself, causing for some very awkward introductions to the leaders of the Desert clan and Plains Riders, yet somehow it didn’t seem to stop her from barging in like she did.

And for some reason, the guards at the door didn’t bother trying to stop her, either.

“Clarke, this is Luna, leader of the Boat People. Luna, this is Clarke, ambassador of the Sky People.”

Clarke extended her hand, watching as Luna’s dark eyes studied her carefully before taking hold of her forearm in greeting.

“The Commander has told me a lot about you,” Clarke told her with a smile, and Lexa’s ears burned once more. “It’s nice to finally meet you.”

“Same to you, ambassador,” Luna replied.

Clarke looked up at Lexa. “Right, uhm actually- That’s what I wanted to talk to you about, Lexa.” 

Luna stayed quiet, not missing the way Clarke called Lexa by her name without thinking twice about it. 

“I don’t think I’m just the ambassador anymore,” Clarke continued. She was aware of Luna standing next to them but didn’t really mind. Lexa had made it clear that Luna could be trusted and would avoid conflicts at all costs, so she felt free enough to talk to Lexa like she always did.

“My mom resigned as the Chancellor.”

Lexa’s stoic face faltered only slightly, making way for a somewhat surprised expression, laced with expectation. “So who is Skaikru’s leader now?”

Clarke’s brow furrowed a little, suddenly feeling the responsibility as she realized her answer. “I think I am.”

One corner of Lexa’s mouth lifted. “Luna, allow me to reintroduce you. This is Clarke, _leader_ of the Sky People.”

Luna’s smile was warm and it helped settle Clarke’s nerves a little.

 

* * *

 

“Nice!” Jasper exclaimed, glancing around the workshop and fiddling with a random piece of detached wire.

“Stop touching that,” Raven hissed, grabbing it from his hand. 

“So when can I take a shower?” Jasper asked her, causing Raven to quirk an eyebrow at him. “What? Monty told me you fixed warm water.”

Monty, who stood looking at something at the other side of the workshop, shrugged and raised his hands in defense. 

“These your friends?” Echo walked into the workshop, glancing over the new visitors. 

Raven nodded and introduced them, although both Jasper and Monty remembered Echo from the Sky Party.

“Yeah, you’re Bellamy’s friend from the Mountain, right?” Jasper asked her.

Echo’s face remained unreadable, which seemed to intimidate the boys quite a bit. 

“You know what you guys should do?” Raven cut in, keeping her expression as serious as possible as she faced Jasper. “There’s a bathhouse not too far from here. You should definitely visit that.”

“They have private baths?”

“Yup, totally private,” Raven lied, holding back her laughter as she imagined Monty and Jasper walking in to find naked people in the public bath.

“Cool,” Jasper replied, grinning.

 

Raven offered to show them around the rest of the city, and they moved back towards the front of the workshop. Before they could step out on the streets, someone blocked their path as he entered through the doorway.

“Echo.” The man’s voice was rough and Raven quirked an eyebrow as she tried to inspect the guy’s face - which was hard, since he was wearing a hood that almost completely covered his eyes.

Echo’s eyes went wide at the sound of his voice, and she told Raven and her friends they should go. Raven, stubborn as ever, narrowed her eyes in suspicion. 

“You know what, you guys go on ahead,” she told Jasper and Monty. “The bathhouse is down the street, can’t miss it.”

Echo gave Raven a dangerous look as the boys agreed and made their way outside. 

“Raven,” Echo growled. 

The mechanic merely shrugged and made herself comfortable by leaning against one of the tables. “What? I have to work on fixing some of the radios, so if you want privacy that badly you’ll just have to go outside.” She smirked, figuring that wasn’t really an option by the way the man tried so hard to hide his identity.

The man sighed loudly in frustration and threw off his hood. Raven’s eyebrows shot up.

“Well, hello there,” she grinned, taking in his handsome features.

“Roan,” Echo hissed at the man. “Are you insane? What are you doing here?” she asked him before he had the chance to say anything.

He turned his back to Raven, speaking lowly to Echo in a poor attempt to muffle his words. “I need your help."

Echo’s eyes were still wide with incredibility and a hint of rage. “You can’t be here! Lexa banished you,” she said through gritted teeth and immediately glanced back at Raven who’s mouth fell open, cursing herself for letting her overhear that. 

“Woah woah, Lexa banished you? Seriously dude, what did you do?” Raven bumped in.

“That’s why I need your help,” Roan repeated, ignoring Raven. “My mother is doing everything to provoke a war.”

“So I’ve heard,” Echo mumbled, remembering what she had heard about Lexa’s beheaded warriors. 

“I can help Lexa avoid that, but I need her to lift the banishment - or at least assure me that I won’t be killed the moment I am recognized in Polis.”

“And why do you think I can help you with that?” Echo responded.

“She trusts you,” Roan stated simply. “She knows you’re Azgeda, and yet she lets you roam these streets as one of her guards.”

Echo’s jaw tensed as she clenched her teeth together. 

“We both know you don’t want my mother to start a war, and I need to find Lexa’s favor again,” Roan continued. “Besides, I am your prince. Doesn’t that mean anything to you?”


	24. No Politics at the Dinner Table

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like story is soon going to get a little intense with the Coalition meeting coming up and the Ice Nation and all that, so I'm going to feed you a bunch of fluff beforehand to compensate.
> 
> Also, I'm excited about exploring Luna's relationship to Lexa. We haven't seen a lot of that in the show. Since Luna is back in season 4, my version of their history will probably be slightly different from the one we might get to know on the show, although I'm sticking to the things we already know as fundamentals. 
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoy the chapter :)

Clarke’s sword collided with Lexa’s, shockwaves travelling up her arm but barely bothering her anymore. Her arms were stronger now, although still laced with muscle aches after a day of training. The clearing they were sparring in was surrounded by a forest, just far enough away to drown out most of Polis’ murmur. 

Ryder sat nearby, sharpening his own sword and glancing around the tree line every once in a while. These training sessions were becoming a regular thing where Ryder would simply follow the Commander and Wanheda in silence and stand back near the clearing to keep guard in the area. As the days had passed he had noticed Clarke’s fighting skills become better, and was only glad the sky girl would be a little less helpless without her gun. It made his job of keeping her safe slightly easier.

 

Lexa’s eyes were full of excitement and pride as Clarke used her newly learned skills and was growing to becoming quite the sparring partner. Lexa's gaze was focused on Clarke’s face as the blonde attacked again. She caught the blow with the side of her own sword, her eyes never leaving Clarke’s although the sky girl herself was deeply concentrating on her own precise movements. 

“Lexa,” Clarke snarled.

“What, Clarke?” Lexa replied, hurriedly parrying another blow before making a few swift movements with her own blade, forcing Clarke to change her position. 

“You keep looking at me,” Clarke answered, huffing it out in annoyance as she gripped the hilt of her sword a little tighter and took a step back to prepare for her next move.

“Yes, Clarke,” Lexa said. “It’s a rather common thing to do when fighting someone. I suggest you try it some time.”

Clarke rolled her eyes, causing a grin to appear on Lexa’s face. “But you’re looking at my face. It’s distracting. Just focus on the swords or something.”

Lexa lunged forward with a forceful swing of her arm, followed by two more quick moves and half a spin on her feet, all the while keeping her eyes locked on Clarke’s face. Despite her efforts, Clarke only managed to defend herself from the first two swings and Lexa’s blade ended up pressed across her neck.

“You see, Clarke,” Lexa said in a low voice, face close enough that Clarke could feel her warm breath, “I do just fine keeping my eyes on you instead.”

Clarke’s stomach flipped, the hilt of her sword almost falling out of her grip as her eyes flickered between Lexa’s dark eyes and full lips. 

Clarke leaned in further towards Lexa, who eased the pressure of her blade against Clarke’s skin. For a moment Clarke almost gave up on her plan, the pull towards Lexa’s parted lips almost too strong to resist. She felt Lexa’s blade slip away from her neck and took her chance, using her free hand to take the dagger from her thigh and sliding it up to press just above Lexa’s heart.

Clarke grinned and all the while Lexa’s eyes stayed on hers, even when she noticed Clarke had managed to bring the dagger up and slip past her defenses. Lexa felt the point of the blade press softly into her clothes, stinging the skin below it only slightly. 

Clarke’s eyes were a deeper blue than the afternoon’s sky, her lips parted and her breathing heavy against Lexa’s own mouth, her light skin covered with small beads of sweat and her hair a brilliant golden in the sun. 

She held a dagger to Lexa’s unprotected heart. The realization hit Lexa hard. Beautiful and dangerous, Clarke could tear open her heart at any given moment. She had given it to her and she didn’t want it back, even though she knew the consequences of having it bloodily torn open and pierced because of the things she loved most. If Clarke would pierce her heart, press a dagger through the muscle that kept life flowing through her, she would stand by and watch, wishing for no other way to die. 

It was already hers.

Lexa’s chest constricted. She searched Clarke’s eyes, her own lower lip almost trembling from the tension in her jaw. Lexa pressed forward and Clarke’s eyes widened as the tip of the dagger nudged further into Lexa’s shirt. 

The Commander belonged to her people, yes. But Lexa, she had given every other part of herself to Clarke. It wasn’t much, this she knew, but it was hers nonetheless. It was all she had, and she trusted it with Clarke.

Clarke eased the dagger away from Lexa’s chest as there was no sign of her pulling back, but only pushing further forward until there was no distance left between them. The next moment Lexa fell onto Clarke’s lips, a silent plea to keep her heart safe and buried within her, because, “It is already yours to break.”

 

* * *

 

Late in the afternoon another clan leader arrived. Besides the Skaikru and Trigedakru, five other leaders were now present in Polis, all seated neatly at the dinner table that Clarke had unconsciously labeled as the Politics table. The ambience was distinctly different from the other tables, where people seated themselves with smiles and claps on the back. Words were chosen carefully among the clan’s representatives and Clarke realized that the Coalition was, indeed, fragile. Although the setting was almost uncomfortably formal at first, timid conversations sparked to life once the wine was poured. 

 

Lexa sat at the head of the table, spine straight and gaze observing. A formal, black line of paint covered her eyes and her commander mask was tightly in place. One of the guards was just refilling her cup when the Plains Riders’ leader spoke up.

“Why do you allow the enemy to dine with us, Heda?”

Lexa’s eyes shot up to him, catching his gaze that lingered on Clarke. “Skaikru is not your enemy. They killed the Mountain, freed our people.”

“But they are like _Maunon_ , with their guns and _tek_ ,” the man objected.

“We are _not_ like the Mountain Men,” Clarke objected, angry at the notion. It caused a few of the other guests at the table to turn their heads, and Lexa intentionally waited until they hesitantly returned back to their own conversations.

“Clarke is the Sky People’s leader. She has a place at this table just as much as you do,” Lexa told the Plains Riders’ leader. 

“And what of them?” he spoke, clenching his teeth as he motioned towards a table a little further away, where Clarke’s friends were having their dinner. “They are not part of the Coalition and therefore not bound to the rules. What is to stop them from killing us all with their guns? What is to stop us from killing them right now in a motion of defense?”

“ _I am_ ,” Lexa growled. “Enough. Who I allow in my dining hall is my business, and my business only. We will speak of political matters at the meeting. Until then, I expect you to treat my guests with respect.” Lexa’s eyes were flaring with a dangerous edge, causing the other guests at the table to quiet down in a sudden moment of authority, and causing Clarke’s heart to skip a beat.

 

 

A young girl walked up to the table, pressing herself through the chairs and handing a small, red flower to the Boat People’s leader. Clarke watched quietly as a warm smile appeared on Luna’s face. The openness of her expression kept impressing Clarke, as most of the grounders and especially their leaders seemed intent on keeping their faces as unreadable as possible. It’s almost like they considered it a matter of pride to hold their gruff masks in place.

The young girl said something to Luna in a soft voice, giggling as she pointed to her dark red curls.

“Thank you,” Luna answered and when the young girl threw her arms around her, embraced her sweetly. The man next to Luna, the one who had been with her all this time, smiled at the small girl as well, ruffling a hand through her hair as she moved back from the table.

Lexa’s cheeks burned. She noticed how the Delphi’s leader seemed to be staring Luna down with a hard, accusing gaze at her actions, and Lexa could almost imagine the thoughts going through his head. _Inappropriate for a leader,_ he would spit if the words ever made it out of his mouth. But Luna paid the man no attention, and Lexa agreed that the Delphi leader’s opinion on this matter was of no importance.

Still, Lexa’s cheeks burned. Luna was soft and sweet to the young girl, and the other clan leaders around the table had nothing to say about it. 

But it would be different for a Commander. 

When Lexa walked alone in her city, away from the prying eyes of people she needed to impress and who expected her to behave a certain way, it did not matter how many children she clasped in her arms or how soft her expression was. It did not matter that she would lose her hard exterior and lower to her knees to level their eye contact, and by doing so completely ridicule the idea of her being a ruthless leader.

And yet Lexa knew that this was different, and she wondered how her guests would react if their Heda was to embrace a child in her arms while seated at a table with high ranking leaders. Her eyes fell on Clarke, who was smiling at Luna’s warm reaction to the young girl.

Lexa swallowed down the thoughts, labeling them as irrelevant, because a Commander wasn’t supposed to show affection - for _anyone_ \- at a formal dinner with visiting clan leaders.

And so she supposed she was only glad that the girl had been fascinated with Luna’s hair and had given her the flower instead of giving it to her Heda.

 

 

“Polis seems to fare well under your rule,” Luna spoke after a while. 

“I assume the Boat People do better under yours,” Lexa responded with a smirk, drawing out a chuckle from Luna.

Clarke silently observed the interaction between the two rulers. She remembered how Lexa had told her once, late at night and with the bed sheets only covering half of their naked bodies, about the Conclave. She had told Clarke about the seven circles on her back - one for each kill - and that Luna had fled before she got to face her in a fight. Many had labeled it as cowardice, but Clarke had noticed something in Lexa’s voice when she spoke of Luna that made her realize Lexa respected her for it. Why, she hadn’t shared and Clarke hadn’t asked.

“It’s good to see Skaikru getting along with Trikru so well,” Luna said, now talking to both of them and smiling at Clarke across the table. 

“Yeah,” Clarke answered, sparing a glance at Lexa, “I agree.”

“Have you decided yet whether you will stay on the Commander’s land or find your own?” Luna asked Clarke, and if it had been anyone else, Clarke would’ve been annoyed at the question. But this wasn’t so much a political inquiry than sincere interest and Clarke knew Luna was merely curious. 

“We haven’t really talked about that, I guess,” Clarke mumbled, narrowing her eyes in thought. She looked at Lexa again, who was searching for her own words as she realized this probably should’ve been discussed with Skaikru sooner.

Lexa took a breath and chose her words carefully, knowing that the other leaders at the table were able to overhear them. “The Mountain has only just fallen and as long as both our people are safe and well fed, it isn’t of that much importance right now,” Lexa said. Her eyes softened as they fell on Clarke. “Skaikru knows they are on my lands, and they know I have welcomed them. Whether or not they choose to find their own land will be their own choice.”

As Luna listened to Lexa speak and noticed the careful glances she kept giving Clarke, she smiled. It seemed the Skaikru meant more to the Commander than she was willing to let on. Even though Luna despised war, she also knew that the war against the Mountain had brought the Woods Clan and Sky People together - undoubtedly also causing a strong bond to form between their leaders. She would not speculate, but by the look in Lexa’s eyes she knew that bond with Clarke was one of importance.

“If you ever do decide to travel to other lands, know that you are always welcome to visit the Boat People, Clarke. As long as you don’t bring your guns we will welcome you… and of course, you as well, Leksa,” Luna added with a knowing smile. Before Clarke had a chance to process the name of the Commander falling so easily off Luna’s tongue at a formal dinner (and to wonder whether it was accidental or not), another familiar voice broke through.

“I agree, you should not bring weapons when you cross the sea. Derrick did not take kindly to that last time I visited.” Lincoln walked up behind the Boat People’s leader, clapping the young man next to Luna on the back and causing a large smile to appear on the guy’s face. Luna, too, smiled up at Lincoln as he greeted her.

“Linkon. You look well,” Luna told him as she stood up to embrace him. Moments later Octavia appeared next to him, glancing Luna over with skeptical eyes.

“Octavia, this is Luna,” Lincoln told her in a low voice, which immediately seemed to put Octavia at ease. Lincoln had told her of the Boat People, about his old friends and how he would have trusted them with the Sky People’s lives. And so Octavia nodded at the Boat People’s leader as Lincoln introduced her. They exchanged a few pleasantries before Octavia joined her friends at the table again.

“I see you’ve found yourself a warrior,” Luna chuckled to Lincoln, eyeing the dagger on Octavia’s hip. “A pretty one, by the looks of it.”

Lincoln narrowed his eyes at her jokingly. “Don’t get any ideas. Besides, she is too much of a fighter for your liking.” 

Luna rolled her eyes at the joke before once more smiling at him sincerely. “It is good to see you again, my friend.”

 

 

When most everyone had finished their dinner and the dining area was gradually emptying out, one by one the clan leaders said their goodnights and made their way to their rooms. Although it was still relatively early, the leaders and their ambassadors had enough to discuss in private to fill the rest of the evening. 

Lexa’s guards, who had stood silently along the outline of the area, now shuffled in their places. When only Clarke, Indra, Luna and her companion remained at the table, Lexa raised a hand to the warriors and told them to start on their own dinner. They quickly seated themselves on a large, round table and filled their plates with roasted boar and bread, pouring their cups full of light ale and speaking in low, excited voices to each other. Lexa couldn’t help her smile at seeing her guards dig into their food so enthusiastically. 

“It’s been long since I’ve been in Polis. I suppose much has changed, although I know of a few places that haven’t.” Luna sipped on the last of her drink, and eyed Lexa suggestively. “What do you say we visit our childhood hideout, Lexa?” Luna grinned, biting her lower lip with a sparkle in her eyes that said she knew Lexa wouldn’t be able to refuse. 

Clarke’s eyes widened with curiosity at the idea of Lexa’s childhood memories and the fact that Luna seemed to share them. Lexa, however, stayed quiet and picked at the leftover piece of meat on her plate with her knife. She knew what place Luna was speaking of and although she hadn’t been there in many years, she knew it must still be there. It was a place of memories and she scanned them over quickly in her mind, trying to decide whether they should visit it again. 

In Clarke’s opinion, she took too long to answer. “A childhood hideout?” she asked Luna, but the Boat People’s leader merely held her gaze on Lexa, grinning as she waited for her response. 

Lexa’s eyes shot up to Clarke, open and raw but with the tiniest glint of excitement. “We will show you.”


	25. The World We Knew as Children

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys :) This was an amazing chapter to write. I had a bunch of ideas, but decided to limit myself to the few things that still seemed relatively realistic for The 100's world. I can only hope it will be just as enjoyable for you to read as it was for me to write.
> 
> Written to the songs 'Nightclothes' by Radical Face and 'Breathturn' by Hammock.

The forest was darker than the sky, the leaves of high trees blocking the dark grey expanse from the dirt covered floor. They were a good distance away from Polis’ outer walls and Clarke trailed behind Lexa, who kept reaching a hand out to her when Clarke’s foot would occasionally get caught behind a large tree root that was barely visible on the dark ground. Luna walked in front of them, head held high and a smile on her face, knowing exactly where she was going. 

After a good amount of walking, the Floukru leader slipped into a space between a large rock formation and a slope, and Clarke’s eyes widened as Lexa grinned and tugged her along excitedly. 

“Where are we going?” Clarke whispered as she squeezed herself through the moss covered walls.

Luna chuckled. “There’s no need to be quiet, Sky girl. No one other than us has ever discovered this, as far as I know.” She looked back at Lexa for confirmation, who nodded her head.

Clarke frowned, following after them as the small cave opened up to the outside again. She eyed the side of Lexa’s face, the faint light from the darkening sky only illuminating her features slightly. “What about your hunters? Don’t they know the woods well enough to know this path exists?” she asked.

Lexa shook her head. “A long time ago, shortly after I became Commander, I had this area sealed off from hunting. So no, I don’t think anyone else knows about it.” 

“You did?” Luna asked surprised. When Lexa nodded her head, the sides of Luna’s lips tugged up. She had fled after the Conclave and therefore hadn’t witnessed Lexa’s rule until the Boat Clan was invited to the Coalition. Knowing that the Commander had taken care to safeguard their childhood secret place, made her chest feel warm with appreciation.

“So isn’t this area going to be filled with large, dangerous animals then? If there are no hunters to hunt them down here?” Clarke asked, suddenly worried that this might actually be some sort of Pauna enclosure.

“No,” Lexa answered, taking the lead and slicing her sword over some of the overgrown vines in their path. “It is only a small area. There might be a lot of wildlife, but I assure you we’re not risking a predator attack, Clarke.” She smiled back at her for reassurance, remembering the Pauna incident all too well herself.

 

 

Faint, blue light gradually illuminated their vision. The overgrown path finally seemed to come to an end, and small blue flowers hid inside the tangle of vines that covered a metal gate in front of them. Lexa’s eyes roamed over the familiar outline, although it was less tall than she remembered. Still, it made her legs feel unsteady for a moment, remembering all the times that she had stood in front of it. She took a breath and turned to Luna, who was wearing the same reverent smile. 

Clarke’s eyes roamed the structure, figuring that this was another piece of ruin that had managed to survive all those years. Greenery covered the holes of the metal gate, so there was no seeing what was beyond it. A thick, overgrown hedge connected to the sides, grown into the fence and blending in with the rest of the blue hued forest.

Lexa’s hand slid over the rusted metal, moving to grip the cold handle that still felt oddly familiar on her bare fingers. She pressed down with all the force she could muster. The metal creaked a heavy screeching sound when it unlocked. Lexa let the handle come back up again and for the shortest moment, as she pulled her hand back from the metal, she expected to turn around and find the young, innocent face of Costia behind her, eyes large and beautiful, and Luna’s wild hair curling around her still childishly round face.

Instead, she found Clarke’s eyes. The blue glow of the forest made the sea in her eyes deeper, her carefully dilated pupils that stared up at Lexa reaching far into her soul as if to say, _I understand._ Lexa smiled and realized this was okay. She wanted to share this with her. She took hold of Clarke’s soft hand and caught Luna’s nostalgically excited grin before pushing through the gate.

 

The garden’s floor was soft, covered in glowing moss and littered with the smallest flowers that sprung from the dirt below and managed to push through. Luna chuckled warmly at the sight of the place they had spent many of their childhood days in. Whereas most of the world had only seemed to grow darker, greyer and uglier, this place still glowed as bright as ever.

A large pile of ruins which had once been a grand house stood proudly in front of them, crumpled into the earth and overgrown with greenery that had claimed it as part of the earth. Only two of the outer walls remained upright, although the whole collapsed building seemed to have formed an entirely new, complete formation on its own. 

Around the structure, the garden was colorful and breathtaking. Clarke barely dared to blink, afraid that she would miss the tiniest detail of its beauty, or that the scenery would disappear completely. The wind ghosted warmly through the air around them and the garden felt _alive._

Lexa could swear her own heart had stopped beating the moment they passed through the gate. She followed the steps of the stone path she knew was there, although it was no longer visible. 

She had avoided this place for years - there was simply no reason to come here anymore once her childhood friends could no longer join her. She wasn’t one to sit around and guard their fortress on her own in the silence of the woods, when she had an army to command and people to lead. The choice to seal the area off from others had been about preservation, about respect to the memories of her friends. It hadn’t been about the possibility to go back there. She simply hadn’t allowed herself to consider it.

Whereas Lexa had expected to be flooded by memories, they mostly just expressed themselves in feelings bubbling up inside her chest and pressing to the hollow of her throat. The sight of the earth-claimed ruins sent a spark of excitement through her, the illuminating flowers that grew everywhere made her chest feel warm with their familiar beauty, the soft, warm breeze against her cheek reminded her of Costia’s breath as she would laugh and consequently made her ears burn.

Lexa blinked, almost dumbstruck at the marvelous feelings inside her. She looked up to find Clarke watching everything around them with the same fascination. 

“This is amazing,” Clarke breathed, and Lexa could only smile.

 

The radiation mutated flowers opened and closed their petals to their presence, having grown further into life. They moved on their own, swaying with the motion as the garden’s visitors passed by. Clarke eyed them with wonder, her lips still parted as she tried to breathe as quietly as possible.

Lexa crouched down in front of one of the flowers, remembering their nature and behavior. It immediately retracted, petals closing at the sense of a nearby presence. She reached out a hand carefully, fingers spreading until she was close enough to touch the hesitant being. Her fingertips stroked softly over the lower, closed petals that felt soft and delicate. Her eyes were bright as the flower slowly opened up again, spreading its petals and showing the visitors its radiant center. 

Lexa glanced back at Clarke with a smile. She nodded her head, inviting Clarke to crouch down next to her. 

Clarke followed Lexa’s motion, reaching out with her own hand just slightly too quick, causing the flower to pull away. She retracted her hand again, but Lexa took it in her own and guided it ever so slowly towards the illuminating petals. When Clarke felt their smoothness on her fingertips, the flower once again opening up to their touch, she felt connected. She felt connected to the earth, to life. Their hands entwined, she felt connected to Lexa.

Clarke’s fingers itched with the need for pastels, for pencils and canvas. The garden’s beauty pressed into her like a liquid she was meant to absorb; an image she was meant to draw. She could only hope to remember it all vividly enough to recreate later. As she looked back at Lexa, peaceful and beautiful in the middle of all this wonder, Clarke realized that seeing her like this was still the most beautiful thing around her.

 

A large fountain - or, what once must have been a fountain - stood in the middle of the garden, in front of the ruins. Moss covered the sides of the stone structure, hiding the form of the statue on top. Although the water no longer fell from the tall stones, the base of the fountain was still filled with a dark blue pool. The surface glowed brightly and Clarke leaned onto the railing of the fountain, staring into the water with amazement. 

Something rippled through the surface and before Clarke had a chance to wonder what had caused it, Lexa’s hand gripped her shoulder and pulled her back. A pair of teeth jumped out of the surface, clicking closed with an audible clasp. 

Clarke’s eyes were wide. Luna chuckled softly, amused by the shock on Clarke’s face although she felt sorry for the sky girl, remembering her own reaction when they had first discovered the fish living in the fountain.

“Don’t worry, they can’t get out,” Luna told her, running a hand over the smooth moss on the stone’s surface.

Clarke’s eyes were still laced with shock and she turned to Lexa for some sort of explanation. “We discovered them not long after we first came here. The fountain is deep; it runs further into the ground than we can see. That is partly why the fish have managed to grow so large.”

Clarke narrowed her eyes as she looked the water’s glowing surface over once more. “It’s radioactive water.”

Luna nodded. “Lexa and I would wiggle our fingers in the water and throw small stones to annoy the fish until they would come up and snap their jaws in anger. It was amusing, until one day Lexa almost lost one of her fingers to them.”

Lexa bit her tongue and grinned slightly. Chuckling, Luna continued in a low voice, captivated by the memory. “Costia was so mad at you. She never let us put another finger in the water again.”

Lexa’s grin fell into a soft smile, and she nodded. Clarke stayed silent, a soft look on her face and a warm feeling in her chest. Both Lexa and Luna seemed to regard the story as a good memory, although the mentioning of Costia made Clarke feel like she was intruding on a personal moment. She bit her lip and glanced back at the water. 

“Come on,” Lexa suddenly said, shaking herself out of the past and tugging on Clarke’s lower arm. “We will show you our fortress.” Lexa’s eyebrows quirked in excitement and Clarke chuckled at the glimpse of Lexa’s sudden childlike anticipation.

 

They moved towards the ruins, climbing over pieces of debris that had by now grown into solid platforms of the earth. The once standing house seemed to have been supported by pillars in the front, much like some of the buildings in Polis, although the upper roof had completely collapsed. 

 

As they walked past it, Luna looked up at one of the outer walls of the fallen building. It was covered in vines and leaves that she knew had grown over the past few years, because they hadn’t been there before. She used a small dagger from her side to cut away the largest vines and swiped away the rest of the greenery. 

Black smudges became visible on the wall, familiar outlines of words and drawings that had faded over the years. She smiled at the sight of them and ran her hand over the letters of their names, written many years ago in their shaky handwriting. Everything had been so much easier back then, with the hint of peace still laced in their childish minds and the warmth of comrade that could tow them through anything.

Her hand smoothed once more over the cold surface and the black lines of their writing, seeping the well-hidden memory into her soul, before turning back towards the other two girls. 

 

 

Clarke only noticed the trapdoor when Lexa bent down to trace the outline. The metal frame had rusted into the ground, the wood almost completely covered in moss. 

“A bunker,” Clarke murmured at the realization. 

Lexa nodded. “Built by people who were hoping to survive _Praimfaya_. Whoever they were, they never made it here.”

“Lexa and I found this place one day when we were out in the woods. We were hunting down a rabbit when we came upon the fence,” Luna told. “Lexa was determined to explore. I was debating whether or not it was a good idea, but before I could decide she was already pushing through the gate.”

Clarke couldn’t help her bright smile. The idea of a young, curious Lexa sent butterflies rushing through her stomach and she grinned at the brunette next to her.

“I was young and foolish,” Lexa defended at the mention of her impulsiveness, “but I do not regret finding this place.”

“I thought you said Costia came here with you as well?” Clarke asked almost carefully. She knew it was still a tender spot in Lexa’s memory, but Clarke felt genuinely curious about the whole story. She breathed a little easier when Lexa nodded without hesitation. 

“We had come here a few times before Lexa told me she wanted to bring someone,” Luna said with a smirk, bending down to help Lexa with the trapdoor that seemed to be rusted firmly in place. “I didn’t like it at first, wanting to keep this place a secret between us. But then she told me about this girl she met at the market, who had smiled brightly and who had made her forget to look in front of her, causing her to bump into a trader carrying a load of fish.”

“Like I said,” Lexa interrupted, “young and foolish.”

Both Clarke and Luna chuckled and Luna continued her story. “Back then, I couldn’t stand the smell of fish, so I agreed she could bring this girl if it would stop her from smelling like fish next time we met.” 

“I never smelled like fish again,” Lexa replied with the slightest quirk of her eyebrow. “You, however, do.”

Clarke laughed. The trapdoor budged a little under the combined pull of the two leaders, causing them both to redouble their efforts. The wood creaked heavily, and in the silence around them it caused chills to run down Clarke’s spine. The sky was quickly darkening and by the look of it, it would soon start to rain. 

She glanced around the illuminated garden once more, wondering what it had looked like the day Lexa and Luna had found it. She tried to imagine how the place would look on a sunny afternoon, or a snow-covered day in winter. She imagined it would still be breathtakingly beautiful.

The trapdoor’s frame made another strangled noise. It took some effort, but eventually the latches buckled open. Dust floated up into the air through the entrance. Lexa didn’t hesitate to climb down the ladder that went down the dark shaft, remembering exactly where to put her feet. Knowing Lexa had made no attempt to unsheathe her sword, Clarke didn’t hesitate to follow after her, realizing there must be no danger waiting for her below. 

She climbed down the small ladder attached to the wall, Luna following after her only a few seconds later. Beside the ladder, Lexa’s hand found the familiar switch. Soft light illuminated the room, and Clarke’s breath caught in her throat.

What once must have been just a simple, bare bunker, was now so much more than that. A large rug of fur covered the floor while the walls were decorated with faded drawings and collections of stitched up feathers. A table with foreign devices from the old world that looked strangely familiar to Clarke stood in one corner, while another corner was filled with a pile of pillows to make for a comfortable seating. 

Clarke wasn’t the only one left breathless. Both Luna and Lexa felt overwhelmed with a sense of nostalgia. Although the room seemed smaller than they could remember, the vibe of their childhood still hung in the air. 

Lexa had been afraid that revisiting this place would make her memories run cold with the realization that not everything had been as bright and colorful as she remembered. She had been afraid that it would wipe off the dust and spider webs from the moments she had hidden away in her mind, only to stain them with Costia’s blood or break them entirely. Instead, she felt them replaying in the back of her head, causing the smallest of smiles to appear on her lips. She shared a look with Luna and knew she did, too.

The light bulb over their heads flickered once before glowing even brighter, drawing Clarke’s attention. “You have electricity here?” 

“A back-up power generator,” Luna answered her. “Although it is small, the owner had built it with the purpose of lighting and warming this room.”

“I would prefer a fire, but the smoke would get caught in the room,” Lexa said, taking her own glance around the all too familiar room and focusing on the conversation to avoid falling into the memories that were trying to push their way to the front of her mind. Even so, as her eyes fell on the collection of feathers tied together to hang on the wall, she couldn’t help but smile breathlessly.

“Did you make this?” Clarke asked, coming to stand next to her and looking over the odd piece of art.

Lexa shook her head. “Costia. She said this place needed to look nicer, so she took it on herself to make odd decorations and hang them on the walls.” Lexa was surprised by how easily she was able to tell these things. Although losing Costia had left a deep scar in her heart, recalling their memories was less painful than she had imagined.

Clarke ran her eyes over the walls once more, noticing various other creations made from feathers, twigs and dried flowers. 

“What about this one?” Clarke asked, looking at a faded drawing of what she assumed to be the sky.

“That,” Luna replied with a grin, “is from when we tried to count all the stars and recreate the night sky.” 

Clarke chuckled and Lexa grinned at the memory, remembering all the foolish ideas they had had as children. 

“Titus had told us it was impossible, so we were determined to prove him wrong,” Luna continued with a smile.

“You were taught by Titus as well?” Clarke asked her.

Luna nodded. “All nightbloods are.”

 

Clarke moved further through the room, hovering her hand over the wall but avoiding touching the already faded drawings. 

“Did you spent much time here?” she asked them.

“Only when we could,” Lexa’s voice answered her. “ _Natblida_ are required to go through a lot of training. But whenever we could, we would come here and pretend we were... free.”

“Free?” Clarke asked, turning back to face them. “What do you mean?”

Luna shrugged one of her shoulders, knowing exactly what Lexa meant but unsure if she could explain it to Clarke. “Free from the training, free from who we were. Free from the knowledge that one day we would have to kill each other in the Conclave,” Luna answered her. “Free from Titus,” she added mumbling, causing both Clarke and Lexa to huff out a chuckle.

Clarke bowed her head, glancing around the fur covered floor once more and understanding what Luna meant. Her eyes fell on the table, a square device on top of it. She walked up to it and ran her hand over the few buttons, examining the meter’s display.

“Is this… a radio?” she asked, suddenly thrilled at the prospect of finding an antique object from a hundred years ago.

Lexa nodded. “It doesn’t seem to work, however.” She came up beside Clarke and pressed one of the buttons. A soft noise of static broke through. She turned the large, round knob in the center, but the sound didn’t change.

Clarke’s eyes were wide with wonder. “It _does_ work, actually. There is just nothing being broadcasted on the frequencies.”

Luna smiled. “I have to say I always enjoyed the static sound, though. Reminds of the sea when the waves are crashing on the surface. It’s soothing.”

 

 

After a while they made their way back outside. It had started to drizzle, small raindrops landing on flowers and gliding down, causing the petals to buckle under their weight.

“We should go back,” Lexa said, knowing more clan leaders would be arriving tomorrow and that whether or not they wanted to, they would have to go back to their leader roles soon. Both Clarke and Luna knew that, too. And so they followed the moss covered path back towards the metal gate.

Lexa spared another glance back into the illuminated garden, taking in the ruins of their fortress and the flowers that guarded it. Here, she could swear their childhood innocence was still intact. 

“Thank you,” Clarke breathed from next to her. “Thank you for showing me.”

Lexa smiled and nodded. She took Clarke’s hand back in hers and followed after Luna, making their way back towards Polis.


	26. Guard the Gates

Lexa’s skin was warm under Clarke’s lips. Early morning light streamed through one of the windows where the curtain didn’t cover it completely and soft footsteps were audible down the hall. There was a sound of shuffling near their bedroom door, the switching of guards as the nightshift was over. 

“ _Hei,_ ” Lexa mumbled, her eyelids only half opening.

Clarke hummed into the skin of her chest, pressing another kiss between the valley of her breasts in response. Morning tiredness still roamed through their bodies, making them heavy with a dull, peaceful feeling. They breathed deeply, enjoying waking up to the weight and soft feeling of each other’s naked skin.

 

It had been two days since they had visited the illuminated garden where Lexa and Luna had spent much of their younger years. The last of the clan leaders were expected to arrive in Polis today and Clarke had noticed the subtle signs of Lexa’s growing unease. She did a formidable job of hiding them from most around her, but Clarke had long since grown to recognize the nervous movement of her jaw. 

Ever since they had arrived back in Polis from that trip to their childhood hideout, Lexa had almost completely fallen back to her Commander mode. Easing out of it seemed hard, even when she was alone with Clarke, and so Clarke was grateful for this quiet morning where Lexa could still simply be Lexa.

 

It was after another minute of Clarke’s lazy kisses against her skin that Lexa brought up a hand, smoothing though blonde locks and pulling a few strands behind Clarke’s ear. 

Clarke looked up at her, both their eyes now open and locking onto each other. 

“I love you, you know that?” she said before she could stop herself. Lexa’s eyes lit up with surprise and delight. She smiled, a warm feeling taking over her chest. She was about to respond when Clarke continued.

“I’ve been thinking,” she mumbled. “As Wanheda, I am already a target. So why do we have to hide the fact that I’m your lover?”

Lexa stayed quiet for a while, lips still parted and inspecting the serious look in Clarke’s eyes. “You know why,” she eventually answered, brow furrowing slightly. “I do not want to put you in more danger than you already are. The wish for Wanheda’s power is one thing, Clarke; the wish for Heda’s is another. Anyone who would be seeking to exploit my weaknesses would consider you a target. Your enemies would redouble.”

“But I am Wanheda. I am not just a defenseless girl that they could rip away from you. I’m not… I’m not weakness, Lexa.” Clarke’s gaze flickered between Lexa’s green eyes. She noticed the hesitation in them, but was determined to convince her. “If they know that they risk the wrath of the Commander by attacking Wanheda, and that your lover is known as the Commander of Death - wouldn’t it just make us both appear stronger? Wouldn’t it make people fear and respect us both more?”

Lexa swallowed, forced to reconsider the whole idea of their vulnerability. “Maybe it would,” she answered at last and with the tiniest smile on her lips.

 

* * *

 

The streets of Polis were damp with morning dew. Lexa had been urged by Titus to get ready and was currently caught up in the throne room while discussing more preparations for the upcoming days. Clarke walked over the city’s smooth path of dirt and stone, passing villagers that were up early to get their goods out on their stalls. She smiled as some of them called out to her or simply caught her gaze and gave her a friendly nod. She recognized a few of them, and couldn’t help but be amazed in what short period Lexa’s people had accepted her. Whether it was because of her part in bringing down the Mountain and the title she had earned, or simply because Lexa seemed to be fond of her, Clarke couldn’t tell. Either way, they seemed less apprehensive towards her and Clarke was starting to feel more and more at home.

She caught herself thinking it and her breath almost caught in her throat. _Home._ For the longest time she had believed her home had been destroyed when her father was floated, when the 100 were sent down, and when the Ark crashed to earth. Her concept of home no longer existed. The ground was beautiful, but it had been about survival from the moment they set foot on it. 

The word ‘family’ Clarke could get into. There was her mom, who would always be her family by blood and history, and there were her friends who had basically become the best family members she could ever have.

But for some reason, Clarke had always thought of ‘home’ as being a place. In her case, a place that longer existed - or maybe barely ever had existed. The Ark was broken, the drop ship deserted and Arkadia had felt more like a refuge than a comfortable settlement.

Now, here in Polis, she glanced around the streets and buildings she had passed a dozen times. The tower stood proud and tall in the middle of the city, and when Clarke looked at it she felt anchored, reassured. She hadn’t been here that long, and yet it felt like a comforting place to be. _Perhaps one day, Polis could become my home._

Still, not once had she considered _home_ being a person. There were the stories in books, the poems Wells used to like to read to her back on the Ark; written by lovesick people that claimed their home was with their loved ones. She had never fully grasped the idea of it until her father was gone and she realized an essential part of her was missing; until half of her friends were stuck in the Mountain and she realized that _they_ mattered most to her and that the camp was cold and empty without them. 

And still with Lexa, it felt heavier. She made Clarke feel whole, filled all the cracks in her heart that she had once thought beyond repair, understood her like no one else could. Clarke huffed out a breath, realizing the cheesy words were true. It wouldn’t matter where they went, as long as she was with Lexa, she would be content. Any place could be a home - it were the people that made it so.

 

“Nice cape. I see they’re actually treating you like a princess here, huh?” Bellamy bumped his shoulder into her and Clarke grinned, burrowing her nose in the side of her cloak’s hood.

“Jealous much?”

He chuckled. “No, I like my Arker jacket. That sword looks pretty badass though,” he said, nodding towards the blade sheathed on her side. The blue gem on the hilt reflected brightly and Clarke couldn’t help but feel her stomach flip when she thought about the similar red gem on Lexa’s sword. 

“Yeah, me too. I just hope I don’t have to use it,” she answered him, chuckling over her words to make them sound less nervous. 

 

Almost all clan leaders had arrived. The last two were expected today and as was custom, a feast would be held in the evening which would basically just be a fancy dinner.

 _Thrishanakru,_ or the Glowing Forest as Lexa had translated, would be one of the last arriving clans. The other was Ice Nation, and no one was sure if they would even show up at all.

“A few days ago someone asked if our people are planning to stay on Lexa’s ground,” Clarke mumbled, thinking out loud and feeling relieved to be able to discuss these things with Bellamy again. She and Bellamy had made most of the important decisions from the moment they landed on earth, and Clarke was eager to hear his opinion on where to go from here. 

“I don’t know if we really have much choice,” he answered her.

Clarke stayed quiet for a while. That was exactly what she had thought as well when Luna had mentioned it, and for the shortest moment she had felt suffocated in fear that Lexa _would_ need Skaikru off her lands. 

Bellamy narrowed his eyes in thought as they walked, passing a small fountain where children were playing with small, handmade boats in the water. “Not that Arkadia is a bad place to be, but it is sort of exposed. We have our defenses of course, but I do wonder whether we should stick to the crashed Ark building.”

“What about Polis?” Clarke asked, not seeing it as a likely option but still wanting to consider it.

Bellamy shook his head. “Too large, too busy. Being surrounded by a hundred grounders is only going to make us realize more that we don’t belong here.”

Clarke knew he was right. The Arkers wouldn’t just adopt the grounders’ way of living; they needed a place where they could build themselves into their own community. 

“The council had a meeting a few days before we left for Polis,” Bellamy spoke. “There’s this new guy from Farm Station, Pike. He proposed that we move into the Mountain.”

Clarke stopped walking and looked at Bellamy, gut twisting uncomfortably. “What did they say?”

“Well, at first Abby seemed to consider the idea. They argued about the technology and shelter it offered, how it would be more like the home we had known in the Ark. Kane didn’t like the idea. Besides, I told them, we had raided most of the useful supplies in the Mountain. There’s no reason for us to make home in what is basically a graveyard to us. It would be sort of sickening, considering the memories both we and the grounders have of it.”

“So they discarded the idea?” Clarke asked him, breathing a little easier knowing that Bellamy and she were on the same page on this one.

He nodded, continuing their walk. “Kane and I convinced your mom and she was the Chancellor, so it was rejected.”

Clarke’s hand fumbled with the Chancellor’s pin in her pocket, unable to help the way her mind seemed to focus on one word in Bellamy’s sentence - _was._ She made a mental note to speak to both her mother and Kane about this later and make sure the council back at Arkadia had no plans on revisiting the topic. 

If it were up to Clarke, it would never be considered again.

 

* * *

 

“You wanted to see me, Commander.” Octavia walked through the doors of the throne room, her hair braided on the top of her head and pulled together in the back. Lincoln’s work, Lexa recognized.

“Yes,” Lexa answered her, twirling the dagger in her hand once more before standing from her throne and strapping the blade to her side. She was completely dressed in the Commander’s attire again, knowing she could expect clan leaders to show up at any moment. 

Octavia shifted in place before straightening to hold her position, awaiting the reason she was called for.

“You did well guarding Clarke on the way to Polis,” Lexa said, fixing their eye contact in a strong gaze.

“Thank you, Heda.” A small nod of her head.

“As you know, a meeting will be held in a few days time to which all the clan leaders will be present. Clarke has been trained to look after herself, but it is still custom for every leader to have their own guard.”

Octavia shifted in place once more, hopeful about what Lexa was going to ask her. The Commander kept quiet for a while.

“How goes your training with Indra?” Lexa inquired.

“She says I should be ready to take my own Second by next year.”

Lexa didn’t betray any of the surprise she felt. Knowing Indra rarely thought so fond of anyone, this meant that Octavia had serious potential. One corner of her mouth lifted in a smile but she subdued it. “Good. Then I assume you will be up to being Clarke’s shadow the next few days?”

 

* * *

 

“ _Hosa ste komba raun!_ (Riders approaching!)” A shout from one of the guards near the gate broke through, drawing Clarke’s attention. It was followed by a chorus of frantic shouts from the other guards, all taking their positions near the gate and nocking arrows. 

“ _Hod op! Chil yo daun!_ (Stop! Stand down!)” the warriors ordered the approaching visitors.

Clarke frowned. It was known that clan leaders would be arriving, so the guards’ behavior to riders at the gate seemed out of place. She pushed her way towards them, Bellamy following after her. 

Upon seeing the approaching party, her hand flew towards the sword on her hip on instinct. She kept it sheathed but couldn’t help the way her fingers flexed around the hilt.

“Clarke?” Bellamy hesitantly inquired, shifting in place next to her and suddenly feeling naked without his gun at seeing everyone else reach for their weapon. 

Polis’ guards had not forgotten about their fellow warriors being returned in pieces and seemed to be quite aware of the threat the Ice Nation had been forming, because their reactions suddenly made perfect sense to Clarke. 

A travel party of ten warriors dressed in fur and faces painted white stood about thirty feet from the gate. They made no attempt to surrender their weapons as Polis’s guards had requested, but simply stood waiting. The only movement was the shifting of their horses’ weight, the Ice warriors knowing all too well that the aim of the archers on the wall was good enough to pierce them through the eye at any unexpected movement.

Behind the first four warriors, a woman with dark blonde hair sat proudly on a white steed. She was dressed in darker fur than the warriors around her and although Clarke couldn’t make out any details, she seemed to be older than both Lexa and her. 

Queen Nia, she realized.

“Your Commander has invited me. I am sure she would be displeased to hear her guests were welcomed with such a cold hand,” the woman spoke. Polis’ guards made no attempt to lower their weapons, keeping their threatening stances. 

Clarke gritted her teeth. It was absurd that this woman waltzed up to the gate and expected to be let into the city without a second thought after she had brutally murdered the guards Lexa had sent to escort her. Combined with Costia’s death, Clarke knew the queen was capable of sickening things and that knowledge was the only thing keeping Clarke quiet. Her throat burned with the words she wanted to hurl at the woman and she bit her tongue to avoid doing so. 

“Stand down. Let them in.” At the sound of his voice Clarke looked to her side to find Titus walking up the gate. The guards didn’t move. 

“Let them in,” he repeated. “They are part of the Coalition and will be treated as such.”

Clarke could see the way the guards clenched their jaws, grinded their teeth and with much reluctance lowered their weapons. 

“They are _Ice Nation,_ ” Clarke hissed at him. “They _killed_ Lexa’s guards.”

Titus fixed her with a stoic stare. “And they were invited. Unless you already wish to start a war between Azgeda and Skaikru, I suggest you keep quiet.”

He turned to a boy standing close by. “Tell Heda guests have arrived. Ice Nation,” Titus told him and the boy nodded once before sprinting off. 

Both Clarke’s and the guards’ hands never left the hilt of their sheathed swords, ready to react at any moment. The Ice party slowly started moving forward and Clarke couldn’t help but feel like they were inviting a Trojan Horse into Polis. 

One rider urged his horse forward, leading the party through the gate. The Ice man glared unfazed at Titus before catching Clarke’s gaze. She recognized him as the Ice Nation’s ambassador and her stomach lurched violently as he gave her a sickening smile.


	27. Spoken like a True Leader

Lexa convinced herself she was ready for them. She paced the throne room to release some of the pent up tension she was feeling - which was more due to anger rather than nervousness - and eventually settled in her chair. Her dagger would fit perfectly in the small indent on the armrest where she had absentmindedly twirled it many times into the wood, but she resisted the urge to take it in her hands now. 

She crossed her legs and dug her fingers into the armrests of her chair, her heart pounding mercilessly in the top of her chest and her gut boiling with anger at the prospect of once more coming face to face with Costia’s killer and not being able to flay her where she stood. 

“Heda.” Titus entered the room, the guards at the doors only sparing him a sideways glance. Without further ado he took his place next to Lexa’s throne, his hands behind his back and his eyes fixed on the doors. Indra entered seconds later with a terrifying look on her face, taking her place on Lexa’s other side. The Commander straightened her spine and fixed her stoic expression.

Led by two of Lexa’s own guards, a fur-clad party of five, including the Ice Queen, entered the throne room.

_Five. The messenger boy had said ten._

Queen Nia looked around, taking in the room with amused and arrogant eyes before settling on Lexa.

“Give me one reason why I should not take your heads as you have taken those of my warriors,” Indra growled, her hand on the sword already halfway out of its sheath.

Lexa kept quiet for a while, staring the Ice Queen down from her throne and maintaining the image of control. Nia raised her eyebrows slightly at Indra’s threat, unimpressed, the tribal scars on the side of her face lifting with the motion. 

Lexa faced the ambassador next to the Queen. “I sent guards with you to escort your people here. Care to explain what happened to them?”

Before the ambassador had the chance to answer, Nia cut in. “They crossed the border to my lands, uninvited and baring weapons. They were greeted much like we were greeted earlier at your gates. Except, Azgeda warriors do not hesitate to shoot when enemies come too close to our walls.”

Lexa’s teeth grinded in anger. Nia was playing the self-defense card and blaming Lexa for not thinking things through. Although Lexa had already cursed herself enough for not being more cautious in sending riders, she also knew that she was not at fault here. Yet the Queen knew very well how to sketch herself as blameless. 

Titus stepped forward, looking down upon the Ice party. “We are _not_ your enemies. Those guards were sent with him,” he pointed accusingly at the ambassador, “to escort you to Polis, and he knew that.”

The ambassador’s expression didn’t change, the story of innocence already etched into his mind. 

“We have always been enemies,” Nia corrected Titus. “Since Azgeda had no proof that the Coalition still existed, I can’t blame my warriors for not taking any risks. It was an unfortunate mistake, but your guards were fools to come so close to my city.”

Lexa stood up, rage boiling her blood. Four guards had been no threat to the Ice Nation’s land. Nia had them slaughtered because she could, because she knew she could blame it on being a matter of defense, and because she knew it would anger Lexa. _Especially_ because she knew it would anger Lexa. 

In any other case Lexa would have counted it as a declaration of war, but she knew the Coalition’s alliances were at stake here. As much as she would sooner or later demand justice for the lives of her lost guards, getting all clans together at the meeting was a priority.

“The Coalition stands and so do the rules that bind you to it. You would do well to remember that next time you’re tempted to slaughter one of my people.” Lexa’s voice was low and dangerous. She walked closer to Nia, their difference in height doing nothing to reduce Lexa’s intimidation. “Know that you are in my city now, Nia, and I will not tolerate another attempt of disruption.”

The Queen’s face stayed fixed in the same expression, a skill that Lexa knew most leaders had learned to possess. 

“Dinner is at sundown. You will be showed to your rooms.”

 

* * *

 

Lexa had only one thing in mind when she left her tower and walked down Polis’ streets: finding Clarke. She was glad that the girl hadn’t been present when Nia had showed up in the throne room - it probably meant that the Ice Queen hadn’t met the Sky people’s leader yet - but at the same time Lexa felt uneasy not knowing where Clarke was while the Ice Nation roamed her city. The urgent buzzing in Lexa’s head calmed down slightly when she found Ryder. 

“Where is Clarke?” she asked him, knowing he had been keeping an eye out for her lately. 

He motioned his head towards the door of the building he was standing in front of. Lexa recognized it as one of the older council halls where smaller meetings were still sometimes held. She didn’t hesitate to push herself through the doorway, one hand gripping the hilt of her sheathed sword as if she had been needing something to hold onto.

 

“But he _wasn’t there._ Pike didn’t see our people being bled dry in cages, Pike didn’t watch his loved ones become reapers, Pike didn’t pull the lever that eliminated an entire population.” Clarke’s voice wavered, heavy with anger and sorrow, but she pushed through strongly and Lexa recognized them as the words of a leader. 

She took her place quietly near the wall, observing the discussion going on between the Sky people. 

“I don’t know how you could still even consider the Mountain as an option.” Clarke had her hands on a table in the middle of the room, a map spread out of what Lexa recognized as part of Trikru land. Abby stood on another side of the table, her hands in her side and a concentrated look on her face while Marcus Kane was seated in one of the chairs at the table, twirling a wooden piece in his hand that Lexa’s people often used as miniatures on a strategic map. 

Bellamy Blake was pacing back and forth, obviously restless. His sister was perched on a table in the far side of the room, sword strapped on her back and looking as out of place as she probably felt. Lexa felt the urge to smile at the sight, glad Octavia had already taken up her responsibility of staying close to Clarke. 

“Clarke, I know that we have horrible memories of the Mountain. I _know_ that what happened there was gruesome and should not be taken lightly. But shouldn’t we focus on considering what’s best for our people? For _everyone?_ ” Lexa felt Abby’s words sting and she could only imagine the effect they had on Clarke. The former Chancellor turned her body to fully face Clarke, eyes urging her to understand. “This is too important of a decision to be based solely on our emotions - we have to look at it from a political point of view.”

Clarke shifted in place as if grounding herself even further. “I _am_ looking at it from a political point of view. What do you think the twelve clans will say if we move into the Mountain that has been home to the people that have made them suffer for decades? Do you not think they already consider us to be too much like the Mountain Men?”

Bellamy stopped pacing and moved his gaze to Abby as they waited for her response. 

“Clarke is right.” At the sound of her voice, all heads in the room turned to Lexa as she pushed herself off the wall and took her place next to Clarke. She ran her eyes over the map that showed the area where the Ark had crashed. "The Mountain symbolizes the remains of the war that has been tearing our people apart for ages. Make it your home, and the clans will think that war hasn’t ended yet.”

Abby ran a hand through her hair, apparently understanding their reasoning although that didn’t mean the issue had been worked out.

“We need to figure something out here,” Kane said. “Arkadia… it’s in development, buildings are being constructed; but the Ark’s crash site is not yet a sustainable place to shelter all of our people. Especially now that another station has found its way to Arkadia and our numbers have almost doubled.”

Clarke shifted in place once more, eyeing the side of Lexa’s face and waiting for her input. Lexa, however, kept her eyes trained on the map and remained silent.

“Mount Weather lies to the north-west of us.” Bellamy moved his hand to point at a location on the map. “To the east, TonDC… Polis...” His finger moved to the respectable places. “To the south is another crashed Ark Station, and to the north…”

“Ice Nation.” Lexa nodded to the far end of the map before Bellamy’s hand had even reached it. In between were still half a dozen other villages located, but Lexa didn’t give them the chance to consider. “You should not go north.”

Abby sighed. “I don’t know if we have much choice in going anywhere at all, Commander.”

There was another long pause of silence and Lexa’s mind raced as she examined the map. It didn’t show all of her land, but enough to see the coast where Luna’s territory began and to see small outlines of bordering Broadleaf Clan villages to the south. 

Bellamy started pacing once more and in the corner of her eye Lexa could see Clarke nibble on her own lower lip in concentration. It made the corner of Lexa’s mouth want to tug up. She blinked and forced her thoughts back to the map, back to the issue. 

“I will give you the land between your Arkadia and TonDC,” Lexa suddenly spoke, pointing to the drawn patch of land. “You will have plenty of space and resources to prosper there. There is a bordering hunting area, where you may deploy your own hunting parties although you’ll have to share it with other villages in the area. I will have Indra send word to her people to provide help if needed. That is, if you find this acceptable.”

The room was quiet for a while and Octavia’s gaze flickered between the council members, dumbstruck why they were taking so long to agree. 

“What are the conditions?” Bellamy asked, his arms folded over his chest.

“As the thirteenth clan, you will be subordinate to me as the Commander like the other clans. However, you will be able to sustain your own way of living and governing. This does not change, whether you are on my lands or not.” After Lexa had drawn out the borders of what could be Skaikru’s land in her mind, she looked up from the map. 

“In return for the villages helping you with supplies, you will share your medical and tech knowledge with us.” Lexa took a deep breath, hoping she wouldn’t regret what she was about to say. “As for your weapons… Your guns will not be trained on my people on any occasion. You may store them for defense purposes, but they will not be carried around to villages.”

Clarke carefully studied her mother’s face. The idea of being under Lexa’s rule must be something the Arkers would not immediately all agree to, but Clarke knew most would also understand the importance of compromise. After all, Lexa was giving their people as much freedom as she could while still placing them under her protection.

“That will suffice, Commander,” Kane finally spoke, glancing at Abby before moving his eyes back to Lexa. “Thank you.”

Lexa nodded and quietly waited for them to take their leave since she considered this meeting to have served its purpose. When no one made any attempt to move, she said, “If you would allow me a moment to speak with Clarke in private?” 

Abby glanced between the two of them, but eventually nodded and said to Clarke, “I will be at the Medical hut with Nyko, should you need me.”

Both Bellamy and Kane followed her outside. Octavia stood up from her place as well, casting a glance at Lexa who gave her a barely visible nod. The Blake girl then left to take her place next to Ryder outside, leaving Clarke and Lexa alone.

 

The moment the room was empty, Lexa’s eyes flew to Clarke. The blonde ran a hand through her hair before turning to face Lexa. “Thank you. For letting us stay on your land.”

“Of course I’m letting you stay.” Lexa stood frozen in place, her body rigid with tension that had been there ever since Nia had entered her city. She took a breath and ran her eyes over Clarke’s face, down to her collarbone and back up to her blonde hair. “Clarke. The Ice Nation’s council has arrived in Polis.”

Clarke sighed. “I know.”

Lexa felt slightly taken aback by that answer, but then quickly corrected herself - of course Clarke knew. She was observant, alert and more aware of what was happening in Polis than half of its own citizens. 

“I saw them arrive at the gate. Your guards weren’t too excited about letting them in.”

“Neither was I. But if I were to refuse Nia from entering the city, it would only complicate the Coalition’s standings further. She has been doing everything to anger me, challenging me to declare war.”

“To break the Coalition permanently,” Clarke whispered and Lexa nodded. 

“It happened before. When they took Costia from me, I wanted revenge. I wanted revenge above everything else. Instead I forced myself to invite them into an alliance.” Lexa rested her hands on the table, feeling the cold stone cool her blazing palms. “Not only is there no reason left to keep the alliance together; Ice Nation is giving me reasons to start a war.”

“But you just want peace.”

“Yet sometimes it requires bloodshed,” Lexa quietly responded. She turned and lifted her hand as if to reach for Clarke, but then let it drop to her side again. “I was worried… When I couldn’t immediately find you after Azgeda arrived.” 

She averted her gaze, realizing it must sound ridiculous. And yet, she couldn’t help this fear of losing Clarke that only grew the closer the Ice Queen got to them.

“Lexa,” Clarke lifted her eyebrows, ducking her head to capture Lexa’s gaze. “I’m fine. I’ve got my sword strapped on, Ryder is always nearby… And you even had Octavia follow me around - which, let’s face it, she takes _very_ seriously.”

A small smile appeared on Lexa’s lips. “She told you?”

Clarke shook her head. “No, but she was present at a Skaikru council meeting. Nowadays, that says enough.” Clarke reached out, tugging at the front of Lexa’s shirt to bring them closer. She rested their foreheads together and ran her fingers over Lexa’s cheek. “Hey. I’m going to be fine, okay?”

Lexa sighed and nodded slightly. Clarke’s hand made its way down Lexa’s arm, grabbing her hand and placing it against her own side. “See? I’m right here.”

Lexa nodded again and moved her face to the crook of Clarke’s neck, breathing in the smell of her skin and feeling the warmth radiating onto her own cheeks. Her hand made its way underneath Clarke’s shirt, feeling the soft skin press into her palm as a gentle reminder that Clarke was indeed fine - or at least here, for now. Lexa kissed the skin of her neck, feeling Clarke’s pulse under her lips.

“I love you too, you know that?” Lexa mumbled and Clarke smoothed a hand through her dark hair. 

Smiling, she nodded. “I know.”


	28. The Almighty, Unstoppable Force

“I’m with Lexa on this one. Are you trying to get yourself killed?” Octavia raised her eyebrows but her voice was gruff, and for the shortest moment Clarke was struck by an odd reminder of Indra. 

The friends walked the main street of Polis, passing the market stalls. A woman handed them a large loaf of bread, and when Clarke offered the bracelet on her wrist that she had gotten earlier from someone on the market as payment, the woman shook her head and motioned for her to keep it.

Raven huffed at Octavia’s previous comment. “Are you kidding me? _Heda and Wanheda; the almighty, unstoppable force._ You telling me that doesn’t send shivers of terror down your spine?” She casted a questioning gaze at Octavia before facing Clarke. “Seriously, Griffin. Like your titles weren’t scaring off enough people yet. Together you guys sound ridiculously powerful.”

“Right?” Clarke responded. “That’s what I said. I think she might finally be reconsidering this whole ‘love is weakness’ thing.” 

“I don’t know guys,” Octavia mumbled. “I mean, what with all the clan leaders around… You know I always prefer the ‘fuck what everyone thinks’ approach, but this could have serious consequences.”

“I know that,” Clarke replied. “Lexa knows that too; but that’s why I think we’ll be able to handle whatever comes our way. And who knows, maybe no one will even care enough to make a big deal out of it.”

Raven chewed on a large piece of bread that she had taken from Clarke’s hands, lazily swiping away some crumbs from the corner of her mouth. “Mhm. Plus, it’s not like they’re not aware that Lexa is gay as fuck. And, well, then there’s you with all your golden flash and falling out of the sky, so I think most won’t be too surprised.”

Clarke looked at her, not sure what to say or how to take that.

“What?” Raven continued, catching Clarke’s uncertain look and hearing Octavia laugh. “Oh, come on. I saw this coming from the moment you met Commander Raccoon Face, and that was before she was giving you gooey eyes all the time. Trust me, people will have seen this coming.”

“She’s got a point, Clarke,” Octavia remarked. “It’s just a matter of officially confirming it or leaving it to be rumored about.”

“So in that case,” Clarke mused, “people will probably believe we’re lovers anyway.”

“Not necessarily,” Octavia mumbled, kicking at a loose pebble on the ground before raising her chin again and keeping an eye on their surroundings.

Both Clarke and Raven glanced at her with looks that asked for further elaboration. 

“I mean… there’s a difference between your definition of being lovers and being fuckbuddies. Just because they see you go into the Commander’s room every night, doesn’t mean they consider you to be in a relationship with her. Don’t get me wrong - being allowed in Heda’s bed is a great honor and you’d still be seen as someone close to her; but people might consider you to simply be in a physical relationship.”

Clarke frowned. “Really? Even when she goes out of her way for me and Skaikru?”

Octavia shrugged. “That ‘s where things get blurry. She’s the Commander - most of what she does can be politically explained. Yet when people realize she’s mostly doing these things for _you,_ you’re caught in a whole new web of rumors.”

Rumors of weakness. That much Clarke understood. It didn’t even have to do with what their titles were; if Lexa’s decisions seemed compromised, people would rebel. Clans would rebel. She sighed, running a hand through her hair that was starting to tangle. 

“So does it matter then? Whether we’re obvious about it or not?”

Clarke moved her gaze to Raven, wanting to know if she had any input. 

“Hey, don’t look at _me,_ ” she mumbled through a mouthful of the bread that was almost completely gone by now. “I’m trying to stay away from all your grounder politics. Besides, I already told you: I think you guys are badass together, screw what anyone else says.”

Clarke smiled at Raven’s conviction and faced Octavia again. “What about you, O? Any cultural advice as to whether I should make out with Lexa in public?”

Octavia grinned and thought it over once more. “Depends on what you want people to think. Apart from the occasional radical I don’t think you have much to fear from Lexa’s people. But the clan leaders are a completely different story, Clarke. And I’m not just talking about the Ice Queen. Either way, I guess there will always be people who figure out that there’s something more between you guys.”

“No,” Raven suddenly said confidently and more to herself than as a response to Octavia’s words. “You know what? I feel like we’ve been going at this completely the wrong way. It’s simple, really. Clarke: on a scale of one to ten, how badly is the urge to dry hump Lexa in public?”

Clarke rolled her eyes and scoffed at her. “I don’t really want to answer that.” 

A blush ran through her body and eventually tainted her cheeks, and Clarke suddenly realized that she was pretty high on that scale.

“Fine - to kiss her, then?” Raven corrected.

Clarke sucked in a breath and nodded awkwardly, causing both girls beside her to chuckle loudly. 

“See?” Raven concluded with a smirk. “Decision made. You’re way too high on that scale to hide it for much longer, anyway.”

 

* * *

 

The sun was blocked by a large building, causing a shadow to be thrown over the alleyway. A large dumpster where Polis’ inhabitants dumped their scraps of junk stood near the entrance of the alley, causing the view of people passing by on the street to be limited. 

The city buzzed and the people’s loud talking filled the day. Queen Nia scoffed, her eyes falling on a large, dead rat in the alley, flies swarming around the carcass. This was not her preferred place for a rendezvous, but it would have to do for now.

“I assume your time in Polis has been useful?” Nia’s smile was arrogant and she asked the question more as an order.

Echo nodded, shoulders squared and eyes betraying nothing but pride to be her queen’s royal guard.

“Then speak true, Echo; and be swift.”

 

* * *

 

Their bedroom - and Clarke was surprised at how easily she now thought of it as _their_ bedroom, and no longer just Lexa’s - was quiet.

Clarke’s eyes fell upon the Commander sitting in front of a mirror, long, wavy hair falling over her shoulder. A young woman was positioned behind Lexa, weaving her fingers through her dark locks and forming the shapes of intricate braids. She was rather skillful and for a moment Clarke merely sat on a nearby chair and watched her work. 

Lexa stayed quiet, staring up ahead at her own reflection in the mirror and betraying not a single emotion on her face. Still, Clarke could see the silent storm behind her eyes.

When the young woman had finished with the most complex braids at the top of Lexa’s head, Clarke stood up and took over. The woman didn’t protest although she spared a glance at Lexa’s reflection in the mirror, who gave her a slight nod, before bowing her head and leaving the room. 

Clarke’s hands tangled softly through Lexa’s smooth locks, knowing how her hair had to be tied up at the lower ends. Lexa’s exterior didn’t change, apart from the slight slump of her shoulders as they relaxed. 

Clarke finished tying up the last braids, eyes glued to Lexa’s in the mirror, watching the proud young woman in her Commander form. The blonde leaned down slightly to place a kiss on an exposed side of Lexa’s neck, impressed by the other girl’s ability not to react. Still, she knew Lexa appreciated the short gesture of affection. 

As she straightened back up again, Lexa’s eyes found hers in the mirror and the brunette reached out for Clarke’s hand. The gentle squeeze was enough to make Clarke smile.

 

 

The air was tense as Clarke rode down the elevator with Lexa. Usually the Commander would be the last one to be seated at a formal dinner, but Lexa thought it would be better to arrive before the clan leaders had a chance to start arguing amongst each other.

Her presence wouldn’t completely stop them from doing so, Lexa realized, but it would at least make them think twice before saying something that could anger their Heda. 

She was quiet. It was not something that Clarke wasn’t used to, yet somehow Lexa’s silence was unsettling right now.

“Lex,” Clarke said, almost a whisper in the confined space of the elevator. She didn’t really have much else to say, yet still found it important to have a small moment of connection here.

Lexa turned to her, face set tightly in a terrific commander expression but eyes soft at the sound of Clarke’s voice. She reached out and squeezed Clarke’s hand gently.

“Remember,” Lexa said, “seat yourself between Luna and me. And don’t be afraid to speak, Clarke. These people know of your legend.”

The elevator doors opened, Lexa letting go of her hand, and Clarke didn’t need to ask what legends Lexa was speaking of. Destroyer of the Mountain, Commander of Death, Sky Princess; Clarke only hoped that she could live up to her name and at the same despised herself for those titles.

 

Six guards followed them down the hallway. Clarke would think it a little over the top if Octavia and Ryder weren’t the ones guarding her; the other four belonging to Lexa’s personal guard. 

 

The dining hall was already buzzing with people even though most of the clan leaders hadn’t arrived yet. A long table had been set in the middle of the room that actually consisted out of three tables pushed together. To avoid the leaders from separating into groups and encourage the Coalition’s unity, Lexa had explained, they should dine at the same table. Tonight, all thirteen leaders would finally sit together.

Luna entered the dinner area only seconds after Clarke and Lexa did, and with a smile she took Clarke’s hand and led her over to the table. They seated themselves somewhere near the middle of one side, leaving the decorated chair on Clarke’s left for Lexa to be seated in the middle of the long table. 

Ryder placed himself behind Clarke, like Luna’s guard did for her, and Octavia settled down at a nearby table with Indra, Lincoln and Bellamy.

The Commander, however, didn’t take a seat yet. She stood near the dining hall’s entrance, her guards still subtly flanking her. Clarke had just sat down but when she noticed that Lexa didn’t follow, she got ready to stand back up again.

Luna laid a hand on her arm. “She will join. Her duty is to see the other leaders seated first.”

As if on cue, the Lake council marched into the dining hall. Noticing Lexa, the leader nodded his head reverently in half a bow that he held for a few seconds before Lexa extended her arm for him grasp. The spoke a few words in Trigedasleng that Clarke could barely overhear, but the man’s respectful attitude convinced her that he was still very glad to have Lexa as his Heda. Clarke took a breath and only hoped that the other leaders would prove the same.

The Lake council split up, the generals choosing a different table as their leader neared the large dinner table. He looked both Clarke and Luna over. A smile broke out over the man’s face.

“Luna. How is the water over at your lands?”

“Darios. You know what they say; it’s always bluer on the other side.”

The man chuckled deeply and something about their interaction told Clarke the two leaders had met like this before. Darios’ eyes fell on her. “You must be the one they say fell from the sky.”

Clarke nodded. “I’m Clarke… kom Skaikru.”

The man nodded, his eyebrows lifting slightly at her mixture of English and Trigedasleng. “Well then; welcome, Clarke kom Skaikru,” he said as he seated himself across from them. 

Another leader that had been lingering in the corner of the dining room, talking with her own council, seated herself at one of the corners of the table. She didn’t speak a word to any of them and when she caught the fellow leaders’ gaze, it was as if she looked right through them. Her face was stoic and Clarke realized that this was mostly how she expected the rest of dinner to go. 

After all, they were here for the Coalition. Not for pleasantries.

“Why aren’t the clan’s ambassadors here as well?” Clarke asked Luna after a while, mulling over the fact that only the leaders were present at this dinner.

“The ambassadors’ presence is often required _instead_ of the main leaders. For them to be here both, would not make sense. Their clans are already being represented by their leaders,” Luna answered her.

Clarke frowned. “Then why did the Ice Nation ambassador arrive here with his queen?”

Luna sent her an empty look. “Azgeda’s reasons always differ from most, Clarke. I can only speculate why they have brought most of their powerful figures,” she said, voice low. 

 

 

The Delphi’s leader grasp on her arm was strong, too strong for Lexa’s liking. The man’s arm was large and hairy, his grip painfully squeezing off the bloodstream to her hand. Still, she held her face stoic and his forearm tightly. His eyes held a challenge, as if he was waiting for her to say something, but Lexa merely smirked.

“You will find your place at the table, Keron,” she told him as he released her arm but kept standing next to her, his face still annoyingly arrogant. “Not here by my side.”

He grumbled something under his breath but moved towards the table. Lexa watched as he glanced over the leaders already seated, and she breathed a little easier when he chose his place several seats away from Clarke. 

 

Abby and Kane arrived not much later, taking the seats across from Clarke and Luna, next to the Lake’s leader. Both of the Sky people’s council members took an immediate liking to Darios and Lexa was amused to find them caught in eager conversations.

 

 

When all remaining leaders had passed by the Commander and acknowledged her with a bow (or with a barely visible, gruff nod of the head, in the Ice Queen’s case), Lexa took a seat at the table herself. 

Clarke’s hand immediately squeezed her thigh underneath the table in a reassuring and affectionate motion, and Lexa had to bite her own tongue to refrain from smiling at the blonde next to her. 

As the warmer meals were brought out and placed on the tables next to the bowls of fruit and loafs of bread, Lexa rose from her chair again. She glanced around the table, where all present had their eyes on her.

“Tonight, we honor the Coalition’s existence by sharing a meal with our allies,” Lexa spoke, ignoring the burning in her stomach as she said the words while skimming over Nia’s cold eyes. “We also celebrate the start of a new age. An age where we can live without the threat of the Mountain, and an age where we don’t have to be afraid of having our brothers turned to Reapers.” 

As she spoke, wine cups were filled and placed in front of the leaders. Clarke’s stomach suddenly lurched, remembering how poison was a well-used weapon at these occasions. She glanced behind her, where Ryder stood. As if understanding, he placed a hand on her shoulder. 

“Now, let us drink to this evening.” Lexa finished her speech and nodded over her shoulder to one of her guards. He stepped forward at the same time as the other guards did, all taking the cups of their respectable leaders in their hands. Ryder took Clarke’s cup without hesitation. Clarke opened her mouth to protest but thought better of it in the presence of the other leaders.

At the other side of the table, Darios’ guard excitedly clinked his cup with the guard standing in place for her mother. They mumbled something close to a ‘cheers’ and Clarke would chuckle at their carelessness if this was not an incredibly tense moment. After taking a sip, Ryder placed the cup back on the table, just as the other guards did.

A few tense, silent moments passed. Clarke was unsure which tester of the wine to focus her attention on. Knowing Lexa was always a target, she glanced nervously at the large man that had tasted her drink. Next, her eyes roamed to the woman standing behind Luna and to the guards behind her mother and Kane. The thought that someone might try to harm them gave her the most nauseating feelings. 

And, well - then there was Ryder. If her were to show signs of poisoning, it would cause a complete different set of worries.

Just as the silence was starting to suffocate Clarke, Lexa spoke again. “ _Os souda_ (cheers),” she said, taking her cup and raising it. The leaders followed suit and after everyone took their first sip, they sat down and started on their meals.

The wine tasted bitter on Clarke’s tongue and she wondered if the flavor would haunt her throughout the rest of the evening.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know if there's an offical Trigedasleng word used for 'cheers', so I used the translation of 'good drink'. Close enough, right?


	29. Have Some Stew, Ambassador

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Your comments and kudos give me life, thank you all so much <3

“Forgive me, I do not understand,” the Broadleaf leader spoke. “Are you the Skaikru’s leader or is one of them?” He frowned, flickering his gaze between Clarke, her mother, and Kane.

“Clarke is,” Abby answered him without hesitation, causing Clarke to glance at her mother in slight uncertainty. “We are advisors. We make up the rest of the council and rule Arkadia while Clarke is in Polis, much like your own generals do.”

The Broadleaf man's frown only softened a little. “Then why are you all here?”

“Skaikru does not rule as your people do, Uzac,” Lexa told him calmly. “Abigail Griffin and Marcus Kane have an important role in Skaikru’s council, that is why they are here.”

He glanced at her, nibbling on the inside of his cheek before turning his gaze back to the Sky people and nodding slightly, apparently satisfied with the explanation.

 

 

The tip of the hidden dagger dug into Clarke’s skin uncomfortably and she shifted in place, trying to readjust its position. The blade was well hidden within the confines of her clothing yet easily accessible if she were to reach a hand down her shirt. 

The dinner guests were supposed to be unarmed. Their main weapons had been stripped from their sides and even the guards did not carry the usual daggers in their belts. Even so, these warriors did not need weapons to be lethal and were capable of defending their leaders with their bare fists, should it come to that.

Still, Lexa had insisted that Clarke needed something to defend herself with. Many of the visitors knew exactly how to hide their own weapons at a dinner and Lexa was well aware of that fact. So, at her insistence, Clarke ended up with a dagger hidden underneath her shirt, another one strapped down the inside of her boot and a small knife tucked up her sleeve. The blades had been wrapped in some sort of protection cover so it wouldn’t hurt her skin but would slide off easily enough should she draw them out.

All in all, it seemed a little over the top. But Lexa had been concerned about her wellbeing and Clarke wasn’t just going to brush that off.

 

Clarke watched the side of Lexa’s face, jaw moving as she ate her dinner. Somehow, Lexa even managed to make that seem controlled and regally elegant. Clarke’s eyes flitted to the figure in the background, Queen Nia chewing on her own bite as she watched them with a smirk that was only visible in the coldness of her eyes. The cool metal of the blade up her sleeve pressed against Clarke’s skin and suddenly she was thankful for its presence.

 

 

It was the second time that her cup was being refilled (after only taking a few sips out of it) when Clarke heard a voice behind her.

“I told you we’d meet again, ambassador. I didn’t expect it to be this soon, though.” 

Clarke bit her tongue in anger, faintly recognizing the voice of the man behind her. Beside her, Lexa stilled but refused to turn around and spare this man a glance. He was speaking to Clarke and Lexa reluctantly forced herself to let the Sky leader deal with this on her own.

“Actually,” Clarke said, turning slightly in her chair to face the Ice man, “it’s _leader_ kom Skaikru now, ambassador. And I believe you were not given a place at this table, so it’d be best to leave before the Commander orders you to.”

Ryder stood in between Clarke’s chair and the Ice Nation’s ambassador, his large build blocking most of the other man from reaching her. 

A side of the ambassador’s lip tugged up in slight disgust, hidden behind amusement. He snorted. “Some would say you’re a poor excuse for a leader if you need Heda’s command to put any meaning behind your words.” 

Ryder puffed out his chest, moving to shove the man away if he were to get any closer. Clarke shook her head, silently telling her guard not to interfere. Beside her, Lexa’s eyes widened slightly as she watched Clarke carefully, listening to the tense interaction. She was only mere seconds away from kicking the ambassador in the balls herself; still, she refrained herself from seeming too eager to come to Clarke’s defense.

The Ice man stepped forward slightly, pushing himself past Ryder’s frame and inching closer to Clarke. “I’m disappointed in your showing lack of power... You shame your name, Wanheda.”

In a split second, Clarke grabbed his arm and twisted the man’s frame, using one of the self-defense moves Lexa had taught her. She pushed him forward, his arm twisted nastily behind his back and his face pressed into her plate on the table. 

Ryder blocked another guard from interfering with Clarke’s hold on the man and for a moment everything was quiet. The dinner guests watched silently, some risen from their seats and their expressions ranging from shock to anger. Across the table, Abby and Kane, horrified, watched the ambassador struggle against the stew in his face. Beside them, Darios seemed to have trouble keeping a straight face, his chest shaking with subdued laughter.

And Lexa - well, she was looking at Clarke as if all the secrets in the world had just exposed themselves to her. No one had expected the outburst and Lexa wasn’t sure if she was angry or oddly turned on, the rapid beating of her heart doing nothing to clear that up.

With awe in her eyes she fought the urge to kiss Clarke senseless right there and took a breath, knowing that the other present leaders would carefully study the Commander’s reaction to an ambassador’s face being shoved into a plate full of food next to her.

 

Clarke’s grip was still firm on the man’s neck and arm and before Lexa had decided how to handle the situation, the blonde spoke. “I believe, ambassador, that it is against the law to carry weapons in the Commander’s dining hall.”

Lexa casted a quick glance at Clarke before motioning to one of her own guards to search the Ice man for any weapons.

Clarke released the breath she had been holding when Lexa’s guard revealed a small dagger from inside the ambassador’s coat. It had been a long shot; Clarke hadn’t actually known for sure if the man was carrying a weapon. Still, she needed a viable excuse towards the other present leaders for tackling the man; one that didn’t just involve her bruised ego. 

No one seemed particularly surprised by the discovery of the hidden weapon and Clarke realized that Lexa was right: most were probably carrying their own. Still, it was enough to have the man escorted away from the table and out of the dining hall.

“Doubt my capabilities again, and you will not live to tell of it,” Clarke told the man in a low voice before Lexa’s guards ushered him away. 

No one bothered her during that dinner again.

 

 

After the incident, most were quiet and tense. Murmured conversations were still going on but Lexa couldn’t get another bite through her throat. She offered Clarke her plate instead of the girl’s own ruined one that still held the ambassador’s face print.

“Told you,” Clarke mumbled, referring to the way she had handled the Ice man. “I’ll be fine.”

Lexa managed half a smile and squeezed Clarke’s thigh like the blonde had done earlier. The Commander’s gaze was drawn back to the end of the table where a few leaders were having quiet conversations with skeptical looks on their faces. Lexa’s jaw tensed and she spent the rest of the evening keeping her face as stoic and intimidating as possible.

 

* * *

 

“The sky girl has grown bold,” Indra muttered. Loud music had started playing and one side of the dining hall was filled with dancing.

“Clarke always has been,” Lexa answered, standing next to Indra and keeping her eyes on the dancers. “Now the others know that, too.”

Indra huffed. “Octavia jumped up when it happened, angry that _she_ didn’t get to shove the branwada’s face into a plate.”

Lexa bit her tongue, feeling much the same. 

“Even so, it was reckless. Clarke shouldn’t have treated one of your guests that way.”

Lexa turned towards her general. “ _Clarke_ shouldn’t have treated _him_ that way?” In Lexa’s opinion that was a ridiculous thing to say, seeing how it was more the other way around. “He was challenging her, thinking she had no defense of her own. Clarke did what she needed to do in order to prove herself.”

Indra returned her gaze but shifted in place slightly. “Heda, you wouldn’t allow anyone else to do the same at your table. Clarke should not be an exception.”

Instead of raising her voice in anger, Lexa lowered it to a dangerous growl as to not attract too much attention from the guests in her hall. “I am Heda. Who I allow to be an exception is my decision and no one else’s. Do you question me, Indra?”

Indra straightened up and looked down at the ground for a moment before finding Lexa’s eyes again. “No, Heda. I only mean to say that such an exception will draw attention.”

“I am aware.”

 

 

Lexa vaguely noticed Indra muttering something under her breath as Marcus came to stand next to her and struck up a conversation. At the table, Nia stood up from her seat, leaving the few other remaining guests as she left the dining hall. The moment her figure disappeared, Lexa breathed a little easier. 

Clarke stood near the opposite wall, in conversation with Darios and Luna. Every now and then another clan leader passed them by and Lexa was proud at the way Clarke would return their greetings or merely hold their hard stares until the other relented. 

 

Titus barged into the dining hall, his customary robe swaying around him as he moved in stiff, hurried steps. 

“Heda,” he greeted Lexa, bowing his head slightly and keeping silent until she acknowledged him. 

“Titus. What is your reason for finding me this evening?” Lexa felt slightly annoyed by him showing up unannounced, already expecting another tiresome matter to require her attention. 

“The Delphikru. They…”

Lexa glanced towards the dinner table they had sat at earlier, noticing that the Delphi’s guests had already left the dining area and retired for the evening. “They what, Titus?”

“They don’t like their rooms, Heda. They complain it’s too close to the Sankru guests and claim you wish to have them assassinated by their rivals.” 

Lexa clenched her jaw, forcing the bile to stay down her stomach. Of course she had expected something like this - how could she not when twelve clans were to stay overnight in one city? She was seriously questioning her decision to hold this meeting with all of the leaders, but took a breath and forced the thoughts away. 

She only wished that the clan leaders wouldn’t behave like children all the time.

“Then fix it,” she told Titus. 

He nodded his head but didn’t move away, his mouth parting slightly as if he was searching for words. “Should I give them new accommodations, or-”

“I don’t care,” Lexa growled, seriously growing frustrated with these pathetic issues. “Give them a new room or bring them more wine until they’re not complaining anymore. Tell them to get a night’s rest and save their quarrels for tomorrow.”

Titus nodded once again and finally walked off, leaving Lexa with newfound tension creeping up her neck. She took a breath and after checking that Clarke was still with Luna, Ryder nearby, made her way out of the dining hall. 

 

 

“So I guess Titus is a pretty good punching bag, huh?” Clarke fell into place beside Lexa, following her outside. The Commander looked up at her shortly but stayed silent, and Clarke wasn’t sure if that was because Lexa didn’t understand the metaphor or whether she just felt like she didn’t need to respond.

“You’re tense.” Clarke’s words barely held any meaning to Lexa’s ears as they walked down the street. Green eyes scanned their surroundings, aware of every sound of footsteps that didn’t belong to them or the guards that trailed a little behind them.

Clarke lowered her voice. “Lexa.”

“I’m fine, Clarke.”

 

 

“Damn, Clarke! You even had me scared there for a moment.” Jasper’s laugh resounded through the evening air as he walked up to them, holding out a cup of Polis ale that he must’ve gotten from someone around. He held out a separate cup towards Clarke, who refused it with a raise of her hand. Jasper quirked his eyebrows and offered the cup to Lexa instead, but she merely watched the boy without reacting.

“Fine, fine,” he mumbled to himself and placed the cup on a nearby barrel. 

“So,” he said with a grin, and Clarke was amazed by the fun this boy seemed to have after living through the shittiest situations, “Raven says that you two are about _this_ close,” he held up his finger and thumb, leaving a small space in between, “to dry humping in public. I’m sure the Commander agrees with me that Clarke’s little show-off tonight was the final push, so I’d say: ladies, do your thing.” 

He splayed his arms out in front of him and leaned back against the nearby barrel, the sloppy grin still etched on his face. 

Lexa moved her foot, bumping the side of Jasper’s leg that supported his weight. Jasper stumbled, losing his footing and clinging to the barrel he had been leaning against. It fell over with him, the cup of ale spilling over his shirt as they landed awkwardly on the ground.

“You, boy,” Lexa said, voice calm, “drink too much for your own good.”

“Well,” Jasper retorted as he stumbled to his feet again, “I don’t see you having as much fun as I am, Commander.”

“You’re wrong,” Lexa answered him. “This is quite amusing.”

Monty suddenly appeared, stifling his chuckles as he helped Jasper up and mumbled an apology.

 

 

“Dry humping?” Lexa asked Clarke as they continued on their way, leaving the night’s celebrations behind them.

“It’s…”

“I know what it is, Clarke.”

“Oh.”

“You told Raven you want to do that?” Lexa questioned, sounding uncertain. 

“What? No. We were just discussing how I was going to keep all of… _this,_ ” she motioned in between them, “quiet. And whether I should.”

Clarke sighed, remembering the conversation and almost rolling her eyes at her friends’ words. “You know how Raven can be… And Jasper too, for that matter.”

“It’s all right, Clarke. You can dry hump me whenever you want. I would just rather not have Raven telling everyone you wish to do so in public.” Lexa’s voice was gruff and Clarke wasn’t sure whether to grin at Lexa’s offer, or to frown in worry at the tension that was still audibly present in her voice.

“Okay,” Clarke said, having had enough of the stoic façade that Lexa was trying to keep up. “Let’s go to our room.”

Lexa suddenly stopped walking and fixed her with a dubious look. “Are you sure you wish to sleep there tonight?”

Clarke frowned. “Of course.” 

She stepped back towards Lexa, closing the distance between them. Conversations from somewhere further down the street echoed through the air and Clarke was very well aware that they were still standing outside, in the middle of Lexa’s city with the eyes of a dozen clans on them. For some reason, she just didn’t care. “I don’t think anyone’s going to bother us tonight after that ambassador incident. And if it makes you feel any better, I feel safest when I’m with you anyway.”

Lexa’s mouth quirked up slightly. “I suppose you’re right.”

 

* * *

 

“So no one ever did this for you?” Clarke asked.

Lexa frowned, sitting up straight on the bed as Clarke’s hands dug into her shoulders from where she sat behind her.

“Not without reason. It is done when someone is injured or requires care to avoid injuries, like the thigh muscles during a long ride on horseback.”

Lexa didn’t object as Clarke pulled the brunette’s shirt over her head, exposing more skin to lay her hands on. 

“Huh,” Clarke hummed, musing.

“What?” Lexa asked, moving her head slightly in attempt to look over her shoulder. 

Clarke shook her head, even though she knew Lexa couldn’t see her. “Nothing. It’s just… I expected pretty young women would be lining up to give their commander a back massage.”

“Maybe they are,” Lexa answered softly and with half a smile. “I wouldn’t know.”

Clarke’s hands were just making their way downwards over Lexa’s shoulders, towards her arms and sides, Lexa relaxing into the warm touch, when there was a knock on the door.

“ _Heda? Thri ou fou setnes?_ (Three or four guards?)” a muffled voice asked from behind the door.

The fact that she was shirtless was the only thing keeping Lexa from storming out of the room and reducing their number to zero. She explicitly remembered ordering Titus to have three guards placed near the door, which were to be replaced in four shifts. 

“ _Chich ai op nodotaim en non kom eno_ (Call out to me again and there will be none),” Lexa growled, fed up with the apparent incompetence of her own guards and annoyed with the interruption. 

There was no reply from behind the door and Clarke bent down, placing a kiss against the Commander’s neck. 

“Ignore them,” she whispered, making Lexa shiver at the feeling of her breath and the arms that suddenly snaked around Lexa’s middle to caress her stomach.

“You looked beautiful tonight,” Clarke grinned, sending another puff of breath against Lexa’s warm skin.

Lexa hummed, feeling some of her anger subside. “Says the sky crasher that took down an Ice warrior.”

Clarke chuckled. “He had it coming. But it certainly helped me relieve some aggression, though.” 

She moved her hands back to Lexa’s shoulders and moved to stand in front of her, arms looped around the brunette’s neck. “You, however, not so much.” 

Clarke lowered to her knees before Lexa, making the Commander’s eyes go wide as the blonde settled between her legs. Clarke’s arms pulled her closer by wrapping around Lexa’s middle and she leaned in to place kisses on her abs.

“Clarke. What are you…”

“Helping you,” Clarke replied as if it was the most normal thing in the world as she moved to shuffle Lexa's pants down. 

Suddenly Lexa felt all the tension rush to her legs, settling heavy between her thighs and making her feet cling to the ground. Clarke’s lips sparked something deep inside her lower stomach and made her heart beat in all the right places.

Clarke moved lower towards her hips and Lexa’s head fell back, no longer able to keep the sighs from escaping her mouth at the declaration of love Clarke was giving her. Lexa’s hand buried in blonde hair; not to hurry her but just as a means of feeling connected to the other girl. 

The muscles in her legs twitched in anticipation and Clarke couldn’t help but grin. Knowing that Lexa was already pretty wound up she didn’t spend too much time teasing, merely pressing a few kisses to the inside of Lexa’s thighs before moving to her center.

The hand tangled in blonde hair softly scratched her scalp and Clarke took her time, starting slow and easy and letting Lexa get used to the feeling. Gradually the silence in the room was filled with the sound of the Commander’s breathing and the occasional gentle hum from Clarke in appreciation until the muscles in Lexa’s legs started to tense and shake. 

She was never particularly loud during sex, but Lexa couldn’t help the way her breathing suddenly was filled with choked whimpers, the frustration of the past few days building up in her and finally being pushed towards release. A gasp and a series of soft whimpers escaped from her mouth, her muscles clenching and shaking violently before going limp. 

Clarke pressed the last few soothing kisses to the aroused area before moving up to find Lexa breathing heavily and searching for words.

With a final deep sigh the Commander fell back onto the bed and Clarke laid down next to her only shortly after.

“Better?” Clarke asked with a chuckle, stroking her fingers over a flushed cheek. Lexa rolled onto her side to snuggle into her and hummed. 

With a smile on her face Clarke watched the soft rise of Lexa’s chest and the innocent expression on her face, awestruck by the change from the commander mask she had been wearing all day.

Suddenly there was a tug on Clarke’s shirt as Lexa pulled at the fabric. “You’re wearing too much clothing,” Lexa grumbled. 

Clarke grinned and easily shrugged out of her shirt and pants before settling back down next to the other girl. Lexa pulled herself up slightly and swung her leg over Clarke, leaning in for a kiss before moving to straddle her. “Better,” she mumbled with a lazy smirk and a glint in her eyes.


	30. All in Favor, Rise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys blew me away with the amount of kudos. Things are about to get a little tense with the Coalition and stuff, but I promise our two girls will soon find some time to uhm... relax, afterwards.

“Hey,” Raven called out as Echo entered the workshop. “Haven’t seen you in a while.”

Echo’s face stayed stoic although Raven made no attempt to search her expression for any clues. “The clan leaders have arrived, my presence was required for some political issues.”

Raven grinned, glancing at Echo from the corner of her eye. “Mhm. Did it have something to do with Mister Handsome that showed up the other day?” 

Echo’s jaw tensed, but she wasted no time in answering. “No. It does not.”

“Huh. So the fact that he showed up, all ‘prince in distress’ and begging for your help, has nothing to do with your queen arriving in Polis?”

Echo growled, stepping forward and towering over the other girl. “You have seen nothing. You know of nothing. Betray me and I _will_ have to kill you.”

Raven, however, clearly wasn’t impressed. She raised an eyebrow at the Ice guard. “Really? Okay, first of all: you shouldn’t threaten me when I’m literally holding a shock baton that I just managed to fix. Which, by the way, can we all just take a moment to applaud me for that? I mean, this thing saves lives.” She motioned to the stun stick in her hand before putting it down and continuing. “Secondly: lame. We both know you don’t want to kill me because I’m too likeable.”

Echo rolled her eyes, posture relaxing slightly, and moved to lean against a nearby table. 

Raven smirked. “Don’t worry though. As long as you’re not planning on hurting anyone I like, we’re fine.”

 

* * *

 

“Heda?” Titus stood next to Lexa, demanding her attention for the problem they were facing. The late afternoon sun shone through a tall window, brightly illuminating one side of the throne room. 

“We need to do something about this. The Ice Nation’s claims are not without reasoning; if the rumors are true and Queen Nia is going to call for a vote, you are facing possible death,” he exclaimed, worry seeping through his words and knowing that Nia would not only call for a vote, but also for Lexa’s head.

“Do you have such little fate in me, Titus?” Lexa asked him, her mind falling back to the issue in front of them.

“You are the alliance, Heda. This is about more than the Commander’s spirit.” 

 

Lexa’s stomach turned as the weight of the situation fell on her shoulders once again, her mind replaying the memory of the girl’s words earlier that day. She was younger than Lexa herself and had come stumbling in through the doors, forcing herself through the guards and claiming to hold information that was a matter of life and death. Lexa had shouted at her guards to let the girl through; she recognized her as one of the servants at the dinner table. 

“Heda,” the girl had faced Lexa with wide eyes, urgently begging for permission to speak. She had spoken of the Ice queen, how Nia had somehow gotten word of valuable information that could call for a vote of no confidence and was whispering words of support to the clan leaders around the table.

Lexa had dismissed the girl shortly after, already painfully aware of the whispers of weakness that had been going around. It had only been a matter of time before Nia would spot the flaw and take the opportunity to challenge her; she knew that too.

 

Lexa moved her jaw in an attempt to relief some of the tension in them. Her legs felt uncharacteristically light, so she crossed them and dug her fingernails into the armrest of her throne. 

“Heda,” Titus urged her again. “You need to show them that these rumors hold no ground. Take away their reason for distrust and they will realize you are still fit for the throne. Queen Nia will be voted a traitor and she will meet her end, but you cannot let your feelings for Clarke become your downfall,” he said, nostrils flaring. 

“My feelings for Clarke are not what brought this on and they will certainly not be the Coalition’s downfall,” Lexa objected, rising from her seat. If anything, the Coalition would fall apart because it was already weakened. Still, Lexa knew that her position as Commander could always be challenged - whether the alliances would survive or not. 

She walked over to a table where a jug of light wine had been set out and poured herself a small amount. 

It wasn’t about hiding her feelings for Clarke, Lexa realized. It was about keeping her people’s respect and proving to them that the sky girl didn’t make her weaker, didn’t make her less fit to rule. But, in order to achieve that, she would first need them to respect Clarke.

Wanheda was already widely known and feared, and Clarke had certainly proved her worth at the dinner table the night before. Lexa swallowed down the bit of wine on her tongue and suddenly faced Titus, a solution on the hem of her mind.

“A union.”

The creases on Titus forehead crinkled slightly as if he wasn’t sure he properly heard her. 

“If Clarke were to be bonded to me, none would dare disrespect her.”

“This isn’t about Wanheda-”

“No, this is about the Coalition. From the moment that Skaikru crashed onto my lands, clans have been in uprising about the newcomers. _If_ the Kongeda survives, the thirteenth clan will be easier respected if one of their own is the Commander’s spouse, and henceforth will increase the chances of the Coalition staying a strong unity.”

Lexa took a breath and moved towards the window, clear sky and fresh air streaming through the light curtains. “If the clans had any doubts about me, this will reassure them. For me to choose Wanheda is a great display of strength - I will keep their respect. Likewise, Clarke will earn their respect by being bonded to me.”

Titus took a deep breath that rumbled in his throat, anger and disbelief pushing itself through him. Although Lexa was giving him perfectly reasonable political advantages to this marriage, he knew that Lexa’s heart was involved here, too. “Leksa, I beg you to think this through. Have you learned nothing from Kostia? To be Commander-”

“Shouldn’t mean to be alone.” She turned to him, eyes unrelenting. “I know you wish to protect me, Titus, but having Clarke by my side could only strengthen my position. Perhaps others will see that, too.”

 

* * *

 

Later that morning, the clan leaders assembled in the throne room. Lexa had decided to push away the worries about a vote of no confidence being called, hoping that the clan leaders would be too caught up in the matters at hand and that she would have time to discuss the idea of a union with Clarke later. 

 

The meeting went as expected: seven of the clans had no problem with maintaining the current alliances that had been part of the Coalition, while the others had their own personal view on why they shouldn’t.

 

“We may not have a common enemy anymore since the Mountain has fallen, but all of our people have been prospering better since the forming of the Coalition than they did before,” Darios stated.

The Delphi leader snorted. “ _Your_ people, perhaps. Do you not remember your grandfather burning down the villages of my people and taking the land that belonged to us? Yes, that was before the time of the Coalition, but do not think it is forgotten.” 

Darios clenched his jaw and Clarke was impressed by the large man’s ability to change from seemingly harmless to the full use of his intimidating features. 

The Delphi leader, Keron, had stood up from his chair and slowly turned to face each clan leader. “These alliances were made from necessity. But war, power… it is in our nature.” He spread his hands as if explaining something important and his gaze landed back on Darios. “Besides, why settle for less than we can take? Why restrict ourselves to the current boundaries of our land when we can easily overtake yours?”

Lexa had been quietly sitting in her throne, closely watching the interactions and evaluating their standings. Before anyone could reply to the Delphi leader’s challenging question, she spoke up.

“If you value the lives of your people as much as you say you do, Keron, then you should know that war is not in their best interest. Not in this case.” Lexa stood from her chair, slowly walking down the steps of the platform. “Battle always claims the lives of people, whether one side stands victorious or not. It is time that we learn to avoid conflict, instead of seeking a war where it is not necessary. Darios is right; even though our enemy is gone, this alliance still benefits all of our peoples.”

“But who says the enemy is gone?” Keron sneered, an odd frown combined with a half amused grin. As he slowly turned towards Clarke, a heavy realization settled in the Sky leader’s mind.

“Skaikru is not your enemy,” Clarke exclaimed, struck with disbelief how people kept claiming them to be. “We might seem a lot like Mountain Men to you, but I assure you: we are the reason they are no longer terrorizing your people. Seeing how you failed to accomplish that for decades, I advise you to keep the alliance with the people responsible for defeating your enemy and offering you peace.”

“I’m not sure if that’s an insult or a threat,” Nia mumbled, drawing the attention of all present. “Are you implying that Skaikru is the strongest force here? The one solely responsible for the death of hundreds; and not hesitant to remove us if we do not adhere to your ideas of peace?”

“Enough,” Lexa interrupted, not giving anyone the chance to add to that train of thought. “We all know of the benefits this Coalition has offered us - trade and military support among other things. Yet I am also aware of your personal desires.” 

She glanced over the leaders’ faces, keeping her own a symbol of strength and authority. “We are here to decide whether this alliance will stand. Let it be known that all who choose not to join, will no longer fall under the protection of the Coalition’s rules.”

A murmur went through the small crowd as the leaders clearly understood the threat, although it was only to be expected.

Lexa swallowed invisibly. This was the moment it all came down to. “All in favor of preserving the Coalition, rise.”

The seven clans that had proven willing before, rose from their seats. Lexa only scanned her eyes over the ones staying seated. Among them were Azgeda and Delphikru, which was no surprise to her. 

After a few silent moments though, Queen Nia slowly rose to her feet as well. Keron watched wide eyed, his mouth slightly falling open in some sort of silent protest. Clearly, this wasn’t what he was expecting. He shut his mouth again and merely clenched his jaw as Nia completely ignored him.

This left four clan leaders hesitantly in their seats, clearly caught off guard by such a large group in favor of preserving the Coalition but not making any moves that indicated they had changed their minds.

Lexa repressed a smirk, breathing a little easier to see the amount of support. Nia’s vote had surprised her, although Lexa was fairly certain there had to be some sort of angle. She would deal with that later, she decided. Noticing the uncertain gleam in the eyes of the opposing leaders, Lexa decided to end this quickly. 

“The Coalition stands. Tomorrow we will officially brand Skaikru as the newest clan to join us. For those no longer falling under the Alliance’ protection: unless you make up your minds, you are free to go.”

 

* * *

 

“This is not what we discussed,” Keron growled. 

Nia chuckled half-heartedly, fixing the Delphi leader with a patronizing look. “What we did or did not discuss is of no importance, Keron. A good leader knows when to take risks for her people and I made a quick decision based on the situation. For now, it benefits Azgeda to be included in the remnants of the Coalition. I would never let my decision be influenced by whatever words we did or did not share and I’m surprised you think it should.”

“ _Yu neindropa-_ (You fake ass-)” Keron took a breath to subdue his anger and straightened his spine. “I assumed your words about working together to take over the lands to our south were more than just wild dreams. I _assumed_ we would oppose the Coalition together.”

When Nia flat out ignored him, taking a sip of her wine and motioning to the girl behind her to refill her cup, Keron growled and slammed his fists on the table. Three of the Ice guards in the room unsheathed their blades.

“I do not need your army, Queen. When I convince the other dropouts to rally with me, we will take over the lands of those in the Alliance. Do not think yourself to be an exception.”

“It is unwise to threaten a member of the Coalition in her own room, although I am not sure if I can consider it a threat. We both know you stand no chance against Lexa’s army - or mine, for that matter.” She waved her hand sluggishly in the air, motioning his dismissal. “You’re an impatient man when it comes to politics, Keron. You should leave Polis like the others have done.”

 

* * *

 

The few clans that had not supported the Coalition left later that day, although Lexa made it clear to them that they were always free to reconsider. They were mostly clans near the outskirts of the land and Lexa doubted her people would ever get to deal with them unless one of them went on a warpath. However, as all the clans still fell under Lexa’s ruling as Commander, that seemed unlikely.

With the reassurance that so many clans were still happy to keep the Kongeda under Lexa’s rule, the city’s air immediately felt lighter. The tension that had hung around both Lexa’s and Clarke’s shoulders seemed to ease after the meeting, although the nagging feeling in the back of Lexa’s mind persisted. Something was… off.

 

“Well, that didn’t go too bad, right?” Clarke mumbled as she planted her feet to carefully follow in Lexa’s footsteps. The forest around them was quiet with the exception of a few birds. The outside air was refreshing and Clarke hadn’t hesitated to agree when Lexa proposed to go out hunting, welcoming the cool breeze that eased her mind after an hour of talking politics.

Lexa kept silent for a while longer, her eyes scanning the trees for any signs of the deer they’d been hunting.

“Tomorrow may prove to be more complicated. The clans that have agreed to the Coalition might not all agree to Skaikru joining,” Lexa said more to herself than to Clarke, rummaging through the thoughts that kept running through her own head. In the back of her mind though, Lexa had already decided that none of the other clans could stop her from branding Skaikru as the Coalition’s newest member.

Clarke hiked the bow she was carrying further onto her shoulder so it wouldn’t slip off. “They think Skaikru’s tech and Wanheda’s power are threats, right? What if they see me bow before you; placing myself and my people under your rule, like the other clans have done? Wouldn’t they be okay with that?”

Lexa stopped walking, facing Clarke as she came up next to her. “Skaikru will fall under my rule, just like my own people do. But I don’t want to rule over you, Clarke. I want to rule _with_ you.”

Clarke blinked, taken aback. 

Lexa started walking again, deciding to give Clarke some time to process her words. “It would benefit both our people, and Skaikru would have their own place among my lands and the Coalition. To be chosen by the Commander as a partner is a great honor and my people would admire you.”

“It earns the respect of the other clans,” Clarke mused, understanding her political reasoning.

Lexa nodded, averting her eyes to the ground shortly before glancing back at Clarke. “It would also make me happy.”

The sincerity in her voice made Clarke’s heart swell and her lips tug up. “Are you asking me to marry you, Commander?”

Once again Lexa stopped walking to give Clarke her full attention. She swallowed once before taking Clarke’s hands in her own. “I’m asking you to rule with me, as equals, to be joined with me in this life and any other, and to let us be bonded so that I can call you mine as you can call me yours.”

Clarke blinked away the water that had started forming in her eyes for no other reason than sheer happiness. She grinned. “I’d love to.”

Lexa chuckled as Clarke’s arms came up around her shoulder, pulling her in for a hug. 

“You know, my people usually just ask each other ‘will you marry me’, but I really did like your speech.”

Lexa smiled, nuzzling herself in between Clarke’s neck and shoulder. “Well then, Clarke of the Sky people. Will you marry me and become my _houmon,_ bound to my soul as I will be to yours?”

Clarke pulled back to kiss her once on the lips before hugging her tightly again. “Of course I will, you fluffy raccoon.”

Lexa was about to ask for clarification on the pet name, but stayed exceptionally quiet instead.

Clarke moved slightly to look at her, but Lexa held her tightly in place. “Lexa?”

“Shh.” The Commander’s eyes were trained on something behind Clarke and her hand carefully reached for the dagger on her thigh. Unexpectedly, she threw the blade precisely through the neck of the deer that had appeared, causing the animal to whine out once before stumbling to the ground, life quickly pouring out through the pierced vein.

Clarke pulled out of Lexa’s grasp and rolled her eyes. “That was supposed to be my catch,” she sighed. 

Lexa smiled in amusement and moved towards the deer to retrieve her dagger. 

“Also,” Clarke stated jokingly, “way to ruin the moment, Lex.”


	31. Ice Deals Are Made to Break

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This update is kind of late, I know. I lost a whole day of writing because of a power outage and then the site was down for a while and then I got sick...  
> Anyway. There's a lot of explaining about the clans and characters and speculation on the Coalition's status in this chapter. Stuff is about to go down soon, but look on the bright side: they're getting married, so that means there's also gonna be room for fluff and smut and everything else in between.
> 
> Your kudos mean everything to me, and I hope you enjoy :)

“You’re getting married to Lexa?!” Octavia called out, slapping Clarke’s arm in excitement.

Clarke shushed her immediately and glanced around their surroundings, not wanting to let all of Polis know yet. “Well, they call it a joining… or a union, or something.”

“A bonding,” Lincoln nodded with a smile. As they walked past the stables on one end of Polis, he offered the apple in his hand to a white stallion that took it with excitement.

Clarke grinned. The thought that she would soon be bonded to Lexa made her excited and she wanted nothing more than to tell everyone she ran into. 

But word spread quickly in the city and Clarke figured Lexa would find the right time to announce it. After all, this wasn’t just an ordinary marriage between two civilians - this was the Commander of thirteen clans choosing a spouse, and the people’s reaction would certainly be a large one.

“So when are you going to tell Abby?” Octavia questioned.

Clarke bit her lower lip in thought. It had been on her mind for a while and she was still unsure what would be the best approach to tell her mother and the rest of the Arkers that she was basically getting married to the Commander of grounders. Fortunately, the Sky people had slowly but surely started to respect both Lexa and her people and Clarke hoped they would respect this decision just as much. 

“I don’t know, soon I guess,” Clarke said. “I’m excited to tell my mom and besides, I’d rather have her hear it from me than from some merchant on the streets. I just hope she’ll be happy for me.”

Octavia bumped her arm. “Are you kidding me? She’s going to be thrilled; her little girl is getting married. I mean, it might not be to the prince handsome she was expecting, but nonetheless.”

Clarke rolled her eyes and gave Octavia an amused glare.

 

 

A young man around their age with dark hair and a tattoo that almost completely covered one side of his face stood leaning against the wooden fence surrounding the training area they passed.

“ _Skai gona_ (sky warrior),” he called out, causing both girls to face him although his gaze was focused on Octavia. “I heard you are Indra’s new Second. You seem small for a student of a general.”

Octavia raised her eyebrows, immediately accepting the guy’s challenging stare. “First of all, I might be from the sky, but I am more Trikru than anything. Secondly, are you jealous?” she asked him, sounding sincerely curious. 

The young man snorted, standing up straight. “What is there to be jealous of? I’m sure your skills with that sword on your back leave much to be desired,” he told her, grinning and twirling the hilt of his own sword in his hand.

“Oh, it is _on,_ ” Octavia said more to herself than to him and within a few moments she had climbed over the fence and was getting ready to spar with the foreign young warrior, leaving Clarke and Lincoln to watch after her, grinning. 

“It’s all fun and play until she comes limping to me afterwards, asking me to fix her up again,” Nyko mumbled, coming to stand next to Lincoln.

Lincoln shrugged. “She will learn from her bruises. I remember our own training days being much the same.”

Nyko’s laugh rumbled softly in his chest and Clarke was suddenly struck with wonder of what it would be like to grow up as a grounder. It would most likely differ from clan to clan, but the younger versions of Lincoln and Nyko running through Trikru forests put a smile on her face. She imagined a small girl with dark, wavy hair climbing those same trees, and Clarke’s heart swelled in adoration.

“I see she’s found a worthy sparring partner,” Nyko commented, bringing Clarke out of her thoughts. His gaze was still on Octavia who was currently fighting the young man with a concentrated but excited look on her face that was reflected in her opponent’s eyes.

“Trishanakru,” Lincoln mumbled and Nyko nodded.

“Don’t worry,” the healer said, clapping his friend on the shoulder, “Ronin will not hurt her. He’s too afraid of her.”

 

* * *

 

Four of Lexa’s advisors sat in front of her, not counting Titus who stood in his usual place beside her throne. Lexa had called for them after she and Clarke had returned from their hunt in the woods, realizing that it would do good to discuss the new situation of the Coalition with the small council.

 

Three men and an elder woman had taken their places on the chairs in half a circle before the Commander’s throne, all with hair bordering on grey or already whitening with hints of baldness. Not as bald as Titus, of course - just enough to show that they had miraculously survived long enough for their age to be the cause of it.

“We have lost four armies today,” one of the men stated, voice staying controlled but urgency gripping the gaze he fixed on Lexa.

“They were never ours,” Mirna, the elder woman corrected him calmly, as if she was teaching her grandchildren some wisdom.

“And yet they now no longer fall under the Coalition’s rules. Are you saying that doesn’t change anything?”

“Do not forget that I am Heda - they still fall under my rule. All clans do, whether they are part of the Coalition or not,” Lexa interrupted.

“The clans that have dropped out are strong but no threat to the Coalition on their own,” Titus said, his hands clasped behind his back. “I would say their leaving is only to their own disadvantage.”

 

The layout of the lands was well etched into Lexa’s mind and she could clearly map them out. Like she had known, the clans that had left were mostly on the outskirts of the land and it presented few issues.

 

“Forgive me for being blunt, Heda,” one of her advisors said, his beard neatly trimmed as if he spent much time and attention on it every morning, “but seeing how Queen Nia has become your biggest rival, I had not expected Azgeda to join our cause.”

“Neither had I, but there could be many explanations,” Lexa replied. “Your point being, Jorn?”

He hesitated before continuing. “Now that the Ice Queen has once more agreed to an alliance, will she not pay for the deaths she has caused that have proved her to be an enemy?”

Lexa clearly heard the anger in his question as he asked about the deaths of the guards she had sent as escorts (and many others), and it rose inside her as well at the implication that she would let Nia’s actions slip. “Justice will be served. My hands have been tied in the effort to keep the clans together - I could not afford to lose myself in the act of revenge, but that does not mean I have forgotten.”

“That still doesn’t explain why Nia thought it better to stay part of the Coalition,” Mirna mumbled. “My informants tell me the Queen was seeking new alliances, especially with Delphikru.”

“Delphikru was disposable,” Titus said, apparently already having thought this over before. “The Lake lands lie in between Azgeda and Delphi, and Keron was clearly looking for support to invade them. On their own, Delphikru would stand no chance to accomplish that, but the Ice army is of a great size. So they promised to support Azgeda, as long as the Ice army would also back them up in their own fight.”

“Yet the Ice Nation voted to stay in the Coalition,” another advisor pondered, “presumably because the support of other clans was greater than expected, which would make it near impossible to invade bordering clans while they are part of the Alliance.”

Titus had started pacing, his posture rigid and a burdened look on his face. “They are crossing off their rivals, Heda. By making Delphikru believe they stood a chance for an alliance with Azgeda, Nia made sure they - and perhaps others too - wouldn’t join the Coalition. She knows they were dependent on Azgeda to be of any real threat, as well as being their defense should the Coalition’s clans decide to wage war against them; that is why she could afford to break her deal with them. Now Nia doesn’t have to give them the support of her army, and the dropped out clans will likely be wiped out by the Coalition should they try anything reckless.”

Lexa listened quietly although growing more annoyed with Titus’ restless pacing. The other advisors shifted in their seats, obviously uncomfortable with what he was implying. 

“We all know the Ice Queen has been looking to take control of the twelve clans for as long as I can remember,” one of the grey-haired advisors said. “However, as long as Azgeda is forced to stay in the Coalition’s favor, they should not be a threat. Their army is strong, but not large enough to overthrow all of the clans in the alliance.” 

Mirna grumbled. “The Queen won’t need to overthrow them if she gets them to side with her. Azgeda seeking potential allies is not the only thing my informants have told me. I have heard there are doubts among the clan leaders about your position, Heda. Some say you have been blinded by the newcomers, Skaikru.”

Before Titus had the chance to jump in and defend Lexa’s honor, angered by the notion of someone doubting his Heda even though he had his own worries, Mirna raised her hands in defense. “I am not saying these are my doubts, Fleimkepa. I am merely inquiring if Heda is aware of them.”

“I am,” Lexa answered calmly. “They will be settled soon.”

The look Titus sent her was loaded, already aware of what that probably meant - Lexa was going through with her plan of being bonded to Clarke.

After a short silence, one of the advisors said, “I hope they do, for your sake and the Coalition’s, Heda.” 

They didn’t inquire further how she was planning on achieving that, and Lexa didn’t tell them. For now, they would have to trust her, and something told Lexa it was best to keep her engagement to Clarke silent, no matter how eager she was to discuss this with them.

 

In all of history, there had only been two Commanders known to be joined to someone, as far as Titus had told her. The first was one of the earliest Heda’s in a time when there were less Nightblood rituals and no clear ground rules of what a Commander should and should not be: a woman who had been bonded to her lover before she ascended as Commander. The second was a young man who was joined with one of his generals against all advice.

Both ended tragically; the woman threw an unforgiving charge at the Mountain after her spouse was captured, which ended in a slaughter of almost their complete army and the Commander herself. The second was assassinated in his own bedroom after his general and lover decided to become his rival in search of power.

Their spirits lived on in Lexa’s dreams and she knew love was weakness, especially for someone of her status. 

Although most other ascended Commanders did not have an official partner, some partook in pure physical relationships or still had their secret lovers. The stories of the heart blinding the head were widespread though, and all Nightblood initiates were warned about the tragedy of those who let it be their doom. 

Still, those were stories of ancient times and different situations regarding different people. Lexa knew what it was like to lose someone she loved, yet she also knew that this bonding with Clarke was one of strength, not weakness. The slight insecurity about her people’s reaction was no longer there; Lexa was proud to officially have Wanheda by her side soon.

 

* * *

 

“I wanted you guys to be the first to know,” Clarke finished, taking a deep breath to compensate for the rushed words she had just shared.

“Oh, hunny,” Abby exclaimed, throwing her arms around her daughter, and Clarke wasn’t sure if it was in a motion of happiness or pity. 

The guest room was filled with the visiting Sky people, except for Monty and Jasper who were probably still having the greatest time exploring the city and bonding with the local brewers. Clarke had found her mother and Kane in one of the rooms of the tower that had been made available for them (only discussing some Arkadia matters, thank God) and had decided to call for Bellamy and Raven as well. Expecting them all to have at least some questions and perhaps even objections, she figured it would be best to tell them all and only have to explain herself once.

Clarke’s cheeks were on fire and she wasn’t sure if that was because of the nerves she was feeling or because of the sudden reality of being Lexa’s wife soon, but Raven sat on the table in the middle of the room with a grin on her face and it definitely eased some of Clarke’s nerves. 

Bellamy, however, sat in a chair nearby, the light of the day’s sun falling through one of the windows of the guest room onto to the floor next to him. His arms crossed, he frowned. “So this isn’t even up for discussion? It’s just an announcement?”

Clarke nodded resolutely as her mother’s arms released her, not backing down from her pride in getting bonded to Lexa. 

“I think it’s great - I mean, if it’s really what you want,” Kane said. “But if it’s not… You don’t have to do this, Clarke.”

“It _is_ what I want,” Clarke immediately confirmed, wondering how many times she would have to declare that. “This is more than just a political arrangement.”

“But there _is_ a political side to it,” Kane filled in.

“Yes,” Clarke agreed. “It will benefit all of our people and secure our position in the Coalition. Besides, I love her. This can only be a good thing.”

“No, Clarke,” Bellamy objected urgently. “You think the bounty on the head of the Commander’s wife is going to be a good thing? You think that marrying Lexa isn’t going to draw out a reaction from the other clans?”

Clarke frowned at his sudden anger. “Well, yes, but-”

“What if the clan leaders are going to rebel? Have you even considered the possibility that this marriage might turn everyone against us?”

“Bellamy, stop,” Marcus interrupted him. “You are right to worry, but Lexa is a capable leader. She knows what she’s doing and we’re just going to have to trust her.”

“Really? You’re just going to blindly put Clarke’s safety in her hands?” Bellamy responded.

“That’s enough,” Abby stated before Clarke had the chance to object that Lexa cared more for her safety than any of them did. “Can we just put the political worries aside for a moment and think about the fact that my little girl is getting married?” 

Clarke felt relieved to see the smile on her mother’s face and realized that Octavia had been right. She chuckled a little and felt the urge to say that technically, they were getting bonded which was a little different from the Arker’s concept of marriage, but her mother was beaming and she decided to let Abby have this moment of happiness. 

In the time that Clarke had spent in Polis, Abby must have come to terms with the fact that Clarke had chosen to be with Lexa. Although she had had her doubts about the grounder Commander - which she couldn’t be blamed for considering the foot they had started off on and the harsh culture that had somewhat shocked the Sky people - Abby had eventually figured out that Lexa really did care for Clarke. They loved each other, she could see that in the way their eyes would meet, and in the end that was all that really mattered.

“Congrats, Griffin,” Raven commented, the wide grin still on her lips. “I guess I’ll start planning your bachelorette party then. Oh, and also,” she turned to Octavia, “I call dibs on being godmother.”

Octavia frowned, her mouth falling open in protest. “You can’t call dibs on being godmother.”

Raven bit her lip in a smile. “You know what, I changed my mind. You and Lincoln can be the godparents, I’ll just settle for being cool aunt Raven. This kid is gonna be so lucky.”

“Guys, I’m engaged, not pregnant,” Clarke interrupted. 

Raven waved her off. “Shh. Not important.”

 

 

“That’s what Lexa said as well, you know,” Octavia mumbled. 

Her brother turned his head to look at her, confused. “What?”

Clarke was caught up in conversation with the others, having pulled Ryder inside from his guard post in the hallway to ask him about the Trikru’s bonding traditions and trying to fit in their own versions.

Octavia sighed, slightly annoyed by her brother’s ignorance. “You asked if they had considered the danger Clarke will be in. I don’t know if you know this, but Lexa is terrified to lose her. She knows Clarke is a target, not only for people who know that she’s close to the Commander, but also because they think she holds the power of death or something.”

“So I’ve heard,” Bellamy mumbled, fiddling with a loose thread on the sleeve of his jacket and keeping his eyes on the other people in the room to avoid looking at his sister.

“The fact that she’s been walking around Polis and hasn’t been murdered yet, says something. The people respect her, Bell. Who knows, Polis’ citizens might be all the protection she needs.” Octavia took a breath, trying to get this in perspective. “The Commander wouldn’t do this if she thought it would get Clarke killed. If anything, she believes this will help to keep her safe.”

Bellamy managed half a smile, his shoulders releaxing as his initial anger seemed to fade. Octavia kicked his leg. “And hey, cheer up, brother. One of your friends is getting married. Be happy for her.”

This time he smiled fully, narrowing his eyes jokingly at his sister. “Well, as long it’s not you and Lincoln, I suppose I should be happy.”


	32. Splinters and Distractions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, thanks for all your comments and kudos! You guys put a smile on my face every time :)

The sun was finally making its descent after a long day. Lexa was still caught up in a meeting with her advisors which seemed to be taking longer than it should, although Clarke knew that there were many things that needed to be discussed after the events of that morning. 

The dining hall would most likely be packed with people again but Clarke asked one of the maidens to bring their dinner to their room instead. All day Clarke and Lexa had belonged to their people, stuck in meetings or having to explain their choice for bonding, and although their short hunting trip had been nice Clarke figured it would do both of them good to have some more time to themselves.

 

She changed into a more comfortable outfit, discarding the belt that held her sword and kicking off her boots to replace them with sandals. When the food was brought in, Clarke lit up a few of the candles in the room although the sunset still provided enough orange light to sweep through the slightly open window. 

Lexa arrived just as Clarke was using one candle to light up another. The room’s atmosphere was calming and instantly made her feel at ease.

“Clarke,” Lexa greeted her, causing the blonde to turn around with a smile on her face. Somehow the way Lexa said her name still sounded just as special as before.

“Hey,” Clarke replied, putting the candle in place and slowly walking over. “I had them bring dinner here. Thought we could use a little time away from everyone.”

Lexa smiled softly, the delicious smell of cooked fish and seasoned vegetables filling the air. “I noticed.”

 

 

“So what did the advisors say?” Clarke asked after they had started on their meal. Lexa’s foot brushed against her lower leg under the table, enjoying the gentle contact.

“They question Azgeda’s intentions, like they should.”

When Lexa said nothing more, Clarke hummed and carefully raised an eyebrow. “What about our bonding?”

“I did not tell them,” Lexa answered casually without looking her in the eyes as if she had not specifically left that part out a few moments ago.

“Why not? You trust them, right?”

Lexa nodded; she did trust them. But that wasn’t really relevant.

“Aren’t they supposed to advise you on these sort of things?”

“I do not want their advice on this, Clarke,” Lexa said, finally meeting Clarke’s gaze. She took a breath and bit her tongue, trying to find her words. “To be commander is to be alone. That is undoubtedly what my advisors would tell me.”

“Then how are we going to make this work when everyone is against it?” Clarke asked her, suddenly feeling like they stood no chance.

“Not everyone is.” Lexa stood from her chair and moved to the large window. “Even though a commander is urged to live their lives alone, their chosen _houmons_ \- should they take one - are considered as sacred as the Commander themselves. The people will love and respect you like they do me, Clarke.” 

The hint of a smile pulled on Lexa’s lips as she watched people scatter over the streets below, hurrying back to their homes and families and warm dinners. She turned from the window and back to Clarke with a glint in her eyes. “I wish to be bonded to you and I do not want the advisors to spend their time trying to talk me out of it, for it will be of no use. That is why I did not tell them.”

“Well,” Clarke grinned softly, “they’re in for a big surprise then.”

Lexa sat back down at the table, feeling better at having shared her thought process. It was an odd thing, to let Clarke in on the ways of her mind that ran even beyond the things that she discussed with her advisors. It was nice, though. Made it feel like she wasn’t carrying all the weight alone.

Clarke took a bite of the cooked fish and was about to tell Lexa about her mother’s and friends’ reactions to the news of their bonding, when she suddenly frowned.

“Lex,” she murmured through a mouthful and with a horrified look in her eyes at the feeling of the food on her tongue, “there are splinters in my fish.”

Lexa tried to hold down her laughter and scolded herself when she failed - she was trained to keep a stoic face, dammit - and reached for Clarke’s plate to help her. 

“They are not splinters. These are fish bones. There’s no harm in eating the small ones but you should eat around them,” she explained, smoothly separating the pin bones from the fish. 

“Have you never eaten fish before?” Lexa asked, still with one corner of her mouth tugged up after Clarke’s initial reaction had faded off.

“Well, there weren’t exactly flying fish in space.”

Lexa chuckled. “I meant after you came to the ground. Did you not hunt?”

Clarke frowned, remembering those days and letting the nice flavor of the fish rule out the hesitation about the pin bones. “We did, but we were lucky if we caught something. They were usually larger animals though, the ones that are easier to shoot with a gun.”

Lexa nodded once in understanding. “Trade from Luna’s land brought in these fish. They catch the best ones; many of the Boat people are fishers.” Lexa smiled fondly, proud of the trade she had settled between the Coalition’s clans even though she was fairly sure Luna’s people would always share their best catches with them. 

“Do you think we could visit them sometime? Luna offered it a few days ago,” Clarke mused, wondering how the Boat people lived and if their culture differed much from Trikru.

“Perhaps we could, once everything settles down.” The idea of widespread peace was always at the forefront of Lexa’s mind, the eventual goal she hoped to accomplish. Peace for her people, peace for the clans. Now she finally allowed herself to think beyond that. The possibilities for her and Clarke swirled through her mind, filling her with a careful joy that she was almost afraid to allow. 

“I told my mom,” Clarke said, casting her eyes back up at Lexa from where they had lingered on her plate, “and some of my friends. About our bonding, I mean. I hope that’s okay?”

Lexa nodded, a small smile on her lips. “Of course. It is your right to share it with them.”

Clarke smiled and when she didn’t elaborate on their reactions, Lexa assumed they were nothing too troubling. 

The candles flickered around them as the sun sank lower and they finished their dinner in peace, their lower legs entwined under the table.

 

* * *

 

Later that evening they were sitting on the couch, Clarke reading one of the books from Lexa’s collection while Lexa lied half slumped into Clarke, eyes closed and on the verge of dozing off while the words shared at the meetings from earlier that day still rung through her ears.

There was a knock on the door and the maidens wordlessly came in to take their empty dinner plates. One of them glanced carefully at the two girls on the couch and a small smile appeared on her lips before she quickly looked away again. 

Clarke kissed the top of Lexa head, causing the Commander to grumpily open one eye at the maidens leaving the room.

As if reading her thoughts, Clarke chuckled. “You know, we’re getting bonded soon. I don’t think it really matters anymore if people see you cuddling with me.”

“I am Heda, I do not cuddle, Clarke,” Lexa mumbled lazily.

Clarke hummed. “Except you do.”

Lexa opened her mouth to protest once again but instead relented, relaxing further into Clarke’s frame. Clarke pressed another kiss to Lexa’s head before turning her eyes back to the book. 

Lexa frowned, suddenly a completely different thought popping into her head. “You were at the gates when the Ice people arrived, right?”

“Yeah,” Clarke confirmed, slowly closing the book in her hands and placing it on the table to give Lexa her complete attention.

“How many were with the Queen?”

Clarke scrunched her eyebrows together. The number had been large enough to make both her and the guards slightly uncomfortable although it wasn’t the size of half an army. “I guess around ten or so, including the Queen and the ambassador. Why?”

Lexa’s expression turned into one of deep thought and she lifted herself up to sit next to Clarke. The messenger boy hadn’t been wrong then. “There were only five who greeted me in the throne room.”

Clarke shrugged, not wanting Lexa to worry unnecessarily. “Maybe they were just servants or escorts. I’m sure the other leaders brought travel company as well, right?”

Lexa’s jaw was tense. Clarke was right, the other leaders had brought their own small company of guards and servants, but she didn’t like the idea of having five unknown Ice warriors roaming her city. 

“We can ask Titus to check on them in the morning. They haven’t caused any trouble so far, but maybe he can confirm that they’re not up to anything,” Clarke told her. Noticing the lingering restlessness in Lexa’s eyes, she placed a calming hand on her thigh. “Tomorrow. Until then, I’ll just have to find a way to distract you.”

Clarke’s smirk was audible and Lexa quirked an eyebrow. “What did you have in mind?”

Clarke leaned in, keeping only a few inches between their lips while her hand suggestively trailed upwards. Lexa’s gaze flickered from Clarke’s dilated pupils to her parted lips, almost unable to keep herself from moving to claim them.

“I was thinking…” Clarke husked, while moving her lips to ghost over Lexa’s jaw. “We could go pay Raven a visit, since she’s been dying to talk to you about Polis’ electricity network.”

Feather light kisses followed Clarke’s path upwards and for a moment Lexa just sat confused at the way Clarke’s words didn’t seem to match.

“And then maybe drop by the tailor shop because he said he’d have a new collection from the trade fabric that just came in…”

“Clarke,” Lexa objected as the blonde gave a slight nibble on her earlobe, sending warmth down to where Clarke’s hand was still resting on her thigh.

The smirk was once again audible as Clarke chuckled softly and this time Lexa didn’t hesitate to press their lips together. She hummed contently at the warm feeling of her soon to be wife’s kiss and brought up a hand to move a strand of blonde hair behind Clarke’s ear.

“I’m not sure that would distract me enough,” Lexa countered Clarke’s earlier words.

Clarke raised an eyebrow even as they shared another kiss. “Did you have a better idea, Commander?”

The next moment Lexa pushed Clarke down on the couch, both with smiles on their faces. The leather sofa wasn’t the most comfortable place, the bed only a couple feet away from them, but neither of them really seemed to mind.

The trust they both placed in the guards in the hall to not let anyone in was quite stunning as well, knowing that Titus could technically demand entrance to the room at any moment, but Clarke really didn’t care about that as she felt Lexa’s hand slide up and down the inside of her thigh after having tugged off her pants. 

Soft lips explored Clarke’s, melding perfectly with each other. She ran her tongue along Lexa’s lower lip, reveling in the small gasp it elicited from her. With a soft nibble she coaxed the brunette’s mouth further open until she could find all the spots that made the girl shiver with delight. 

After a little while Lexa’s mouth left hers, trailing down and finding its place against Clarke’s neck instead. There was something about the low hum in Lexa’s throat and the precision she had in the movement of her tongue against the skin there that told Clarke the other girl was enjoying this just as much as she was. 

Lexa’s fingers teased before finding their place between her thighs and causing Clarke’s hips to buck up. Lexa pressed a few sweet kisses to Clarke’s lips, swallowing some of her soft moans before moving downwards. Fingers left their spot to be replaced by Lexa’s mouth instead and once she started using them both, Clarke was a goner.

The temperature in the room had noticeably gone up and Lexa shrugged off her shirt, wiping her mouth and fingers on the fabric just to clean them up before discarding the shirt on the floor. She laid back down on the couch, half next to and half on top of Clarke. 

“Can you take this off?” Lexa asked, tugging gently at Clarke’s shirt. 

“You’re doing this in the wrong order, babe,” she chuckled, earning a roll of Lexa’s eyes. 

“I just want to be close,” Lexa mumbled but it was unnecessary as Clarke was already removing her shirt, knowing how the contact of their bare skin was sometimes all Lexa longed for.

Both reduced to the cover of the bindings around their chests, Lexa breathed in the sweet smell of Clarke’s slightly sweaty skin as it pressed against her own. She nuzzled herself into the crook of Clarke’s neck, placing a soft kiss there before closing her eyes and simply enjoying the warm feeling of each other’s presence.

Clarke wrapped her arms tighter around Lexa. The combination of post-orgasmic bliss and the safe, warm feeling of Lexa’s body against hers made her happy in a way she had never expected to feel. She breathed deeply, holding onto the woman she loved. 

It was a while before Clarke spoke. “Do you want to move to the bed?”

Their lips met in a kiss before Lexa hummed. “Are you tired?”

“That’s not why,” Clarke answered. “I want to move so I can get you out of these pants as well.” 

 

 

The bed was in fact much more comfortable, and spacious, for that matter. Even so, an hour later they ended up in a similar position as on the couch, bodies pressed together as if they couldn’t stand to be separated.

Somewhere on the edge of sleep, Lexa whispered into the darkening room, “ _Ai hod yu in, Klark._ ”

Clarke smiled and pressed a soft kiss to the bare skin of Lexa’s arm nearby. “And I love you, Lexa kom Trikru.”

 

* * *

 

The night was well past its mid point when Lexa was awoken by a soft sound similar to the rustling of clothes. It was barely audible, yet the Commander had learned to be aware of every sound that wasn’t Clarke’s breathing or the early chirping of birds - every sound that was out of place.

Lexa laid still a bit longer, opening one eye to find Clarke’s sleeping form beside her and the world still dark outside her window. She waited for another sound to prove that it hadn’t merely been the rotation of guards or a figment of her dreams.

There was the softest thump at the door and this time Lexa opened both her eyes as her heartbeat accelerated, getting ready to reach for the dagger on her nightstand. There was a time when she slept with the blade underneath her pillow but her nights with Clarke had proved it to be a bit inconvenient. It was still nearby, but Lexa just hoped she could reach it fast enough.

She waited for a hint of the intruder’s position. Not wanting to give away that she was awake, Lexa stayed still for as long as possible and kept her breathing even to make it look like she was still asleep. 

To her horror she soon noticed a dark figure creeping up to Clarke’s side of the bed instead of hers like she had expected. Without hesitation she reached for the knife next to the bed, faster than anyone could’ve expected. Even though it was dark, she could make out enough of the intruder’s form to throw it in his direction. With a groan on impact he clutched his stomach where the dagger had buried itself. 

Lexa was vaguely aware of Clarke stirring and waking up, but before she had the chance to calm her the air thickened and she suddenly felt a presence behind her. Lexa immediately spun around, feet on the ground and half out of bed now, ready to face the source of danger even though she no longer had a weapon to defend herself with. 

Her heart sank when she saw the man’s proximity and for the shortest moment Lexa thought it was over. The dagger in the assassin’s hand glistened red in the dark and he would have the blade against her neck before she could attempt to disarm him. Never one to surrender, Lexa decided that she could at least try to do enough damage to keep him from hurting Clarke. 

The next thing she knew the assassin groaned and sputtered up a little of his own blood, slowly falling forward to his knees. Behind him, a tall figure stood with a smug but revered look on his face, blade drenched in blood from where it had been pressed into the assassin’s back.

“Commander Lexa,” Roan greeted her. “Long time no see.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *leaves it at a cliffhanger*
> 
> Muahaha. (Don't worry, I'll update soon.)


	33. The Plan Failed but It Didn't Really

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! So this chapter is a little shorter than I would've liked, but it also means that the next chapter will be up fairly soon. I just wanted to update today; felt bad about that cliffhanger.
> 
> Your kudos are like cookies and your comments like fluffy raccoons. I love them.

“Lexa!” Clarke hissed. In her panic the blonde had grabbed the sword that she had discarded not far from the bed earlier that night. Lexa’s dagger buried in his stomach, the assassin next to Clarke had winced once as he steadily bled out, giving into death only moments later. The floor was starting to get drenched in his blood and as soon as Clarke had noticed she had jumped back on the bed. 

Sword raised towards the stranger in front of them, her arm trembling more than she would like and the bed sheets clutched to her chest with the other hand, she waited for Lexa to tell her what was going on. 

Lexa raised her hand towards Clarke, motioning her not to attack while keeping her eyes fixed on Roan’s narrowed ones. If he had wanted to attack them, he would’ve done so already. Or just let the assassins have their way.

“Roan.” Lexa straightened her spine, forcing herself to calm down after what had happened and speaking to him as if there weren’t two dead assassins lying on the floor next to them. “I believe I banished you from my lands.”

Roan smiled guiltily, looking over his shoulder towards the door and then back to the dead assassin on the ground. 

Lexa strode over to her wardrobe, lighting a candle along the way and casually shrugging on a long coat to cover her mostly naked state. Clarke followed her example and put on a long, dark blue shirt that reached to her knees. 

“You did, Commander,” Roan confirmed. He bent down to the assassin he had killed, took the dagger from the man’s still firm hold and inspected the red glow. “ _Feisbona._ Paralyzes before death. No antidote.” 

“You had knowledge of this attack?” Lexa asked him although it sounded more like a statement. The rate of her heartbeat was still uncomfortably fast because of the adrenaline that had kicked in the moment she was awakened, but Lexa was trained to keep calm during these sort of situations and right now she was every bit the Commander. 

“ _She_ did,” Roan answered, nodding towards the opened bedroom door where Echo wiped her reddened blade on the shirt of a dead guard.

“Don’t worry, Heda,” Echo mumbled, not looking pleased as she carried one of the dead guards to sit up against the wall, leaving his head to lull forward on his chest. “They are Azgeda, not yours.”

A realization shot through Lexa. She squared her shoulders as she came to understand the situation. Even so, she wanted to hear what they had to say. “Explain.”

With a glance down the hallway to make sure no one was in sight, Echo stepped inside the room. Her feet left bloody footprints and she made sure to stay near the door. “Your guards were replaced with two Ice warriors during the night, leaving the assassins to make their way in undisturbed... I do not know where your appointed guards are, Heda.”

Lexa was getting restless; that was the part she understood. “Then tell me of the things you _do_ know, Echo kom Azgeda. And speak true, or I shall have both your heads for treason.”

Even though they had just saved both hers and Clarke’s life, Lexa would not be fooled easily. It would take more than a blade through an assassin’s back to prove that they weren’t her enemies.

Echo’s jaw tensed and she glared at Lexa from where she stood but continued to explain anyway. 

“They are not assassins. Not trained ones, at least.” Echo nodded uninterested at the dead men on the ground near the bed and Roan bent down to remove the hood of one of the attackers. Although his face was not painted white, tribal marks on the side of his face betrayed the man’s origin. How careless. “But they were easily welcomed into the city with the rest of the Queen’s company, so they would do. It was a flawless plan. The guard rotation would be covered by two of your ‘newly appointed warriors’: Ice Nation. Wearing guards’ masks to hide their features. They would also ensure that the plan would be executed successfully, ready to finish the job should the others fail.” 

At this Lexa burned with anger. She would make sure to see to the punishment of the guards in the previous rotation for leaving her bedroom door in the hands of strangers so easily. They should’ve checked with her before allowing two unfamiliar warriors to take their place. Sleep deprived guards weren’t smart guards, Lexa supposed.

“Three others would then make their way to your room; blades coated in poison so they would only need one cut in both of you.” 

“Both of us?” Clarke interrupted.

“Yes, both of you. The Queen knows,” Echo said in a tone that made it clear she wasn’t going to elaborate on that. “However, one of the Queen’s warriors had an…unfortunate accident. Who better to replace him than someone who knows these halls like I do?”

“You replaced him,” Clarke mumbled, starting to understand what was going on here. 

Echo’s eyes found hers, harsh and unrelenting. She nodded. 

“Nia trusts you will all this?” Lexa asked her, unconvinced.

“She does,” Echo answered confidently. “I’m a Royal Guard. She trusts me with most operations as her highest ranking officer and was all too glad to have me take the position.”

Echo hesitated, but then continued in the same flat voice. “I was also the one who devised most of this plan.”

Lexa stepped forward with a growl and grabbed Echo by her neck. The image of the assassin moving towards Clarke’s sleeping form kept pushing itself to the front of her mind. 

“Heda. We killed them.”

“And what do you want? My gratitude?” Lexa growled, hand tightening around Echo’s throat. 

Echo’s own hand came up to grab Lexa’s wrist but the Ice warrior didn’t fight back. 

“I killed my own warriors,” Echo spat through gritted teeth, trying to make clear where her loyalties lay. There was something of anger and regret in the girl’s eyes and gradually Lexa’s grip eased. She stepped back, glancing at the dead men on the ground. 

“What is your part in this, prince of Azgeda?” Lexa asked, or rather ordered him to explain.

“Echo helped me sneak in where needed. Once she made sure the new ‘guards’ at your door wouldn’t be a problem anymore, I hurried to take care of these two,” Roan explained, nodding at the dead assassins. 

Lexa grimaced. One of ‘these two’ had to be taken care of by her before Roan even had the chance to reach him. Lexa couldn’t blame him too much; it was a sense of pride. She was the Commander and very much capable of protecting herself, so it was only natural for Roan to expect somewhat the same.

“Leksa, we both want the same thing,” Roan continued, “my mother removed from her throne. Echo might have formed the plan so that we could intervene but the Queen still ordered this. If you think she came here to negotiate peace with the other clans, you are mistaken.”

Lexa’s mind was already racing, thinking of all the things she knew about Nia and trying to figure out how this was all fitting in. 

“You asked if I wanted your thanks - I do not. I want my banishment lifted so that I can rally Azgeda and attempt to overthrow my mother. Do not doubt our people’s unhappiness under her rule,” Roan said in a voice so grave that they could practically feel what he was speaking of. “They suffer.”

The stench of blood was starting to fill the room. Although it was still nighttime, the early morning was approaching and they needed to clean up this mess. However, if what they told her was true, Lexa wasn’t sure if sending Echo or Roan to fetch her guards would be the best move. She wasn’t sure if they should even be connected to this situation.

“The Queen isn’t aware of your presence?” Lexa asked Roan for confirmation. 

“She is not.”

“Then I will not officially lift your banishment yet,” Lexa spoke after considering the situation. “Polis should not yet be made aware that you are here, nor should your mother. I have a better idea.”

 

 

Echo confirmed that Nia would expect proof of their mission being a success. The horn of the Commander’s death sounding, Polis in panic, or the quiet delivery of Wanheda’s head would do. However, with the Azgeda warriors dead except for Echo, that proof would not be delivered. 

“It is treason,” Echo said morbidly, referring to the failed mission and the slaughter of the Ice warriors.

“It is not,” Lexa corrected her. “You stayed loyal to your commander.”

“That won’t matter if the Queen shall have my head. Once she sees both me and you alive, she’ll know of my betrayal.”

Lexa clenched her teeth, understanding the Ice guard’s dilemma. Echo could not return with news of failure. Apparently she hadn't thought out this part of the plan yet.

“When does she expect you to report?” 

“As soon as it is done, Heda. Although she asked me not to disturb her during the night if she were to be sleeping,” Echo answered.

Roan snorted out a laugh in recognition, receiving questioning glances from the others. “It’s…a beauty thing. She’s always been very serious about her night rest. Says it makes her skin look younger or something.”

 

* * *

 

Lexa left the room not much later, ensuring Clarke that she would be back soon. Although hesitant at first to leave them with Roan and Echo, she didn’t have much choice. Besides, neither did they. They needed Lexa to protect them from Nia’s judgment and Lexa was fairly sure they were set on keeping Clarke alive, based on recent happenings. 

 

True to her word, Lexa arrived back in the room about ten minutes later. Indra followed after her. 

“You’ve made a mess,” the dark warrior grumbled at Echo as she looked at the dead Azgeda warriors at the door. 

“Could’ve been a lot messier, had I not killed them.”

“I just expected you’d know how to do a clean cut, like a real warrior,” Indra challenged in a bored tone. Echo rolled her eyes. 

“Indra, fetch your _seken,_ ” Lexa ordered, eyes stuck to the chaos in their room and trying to figure out the best way to clean this up. Her first instinct had been to call for Titus but she had discarded that idea almost immediately. She trusted him, but he wouldn’t trust Echo or Roan and it would only make things more complicated. 

So Lexa had settled on Indra, knowing she would do as requested. On the way back to her room, Lexa had explained the situation and her general had reacted as expected: grumpily and not pleased with the situation, but ready to do what was necessary. 

Indra left the room, off to wake Octavia from her sleep with as much force as necessary.

“What of my guards in the hallways and on the other floors?” Lexa asked. She was not sure whether to expect more dead bodies or Ice warriors in their places.

“We might not be trained assassins, but we know how to pass by unnoticed,” Echo answered. Lexa wasn’t sure whether to feel relieved to know that the rest of her guard detail went untouched, or to feel worried at how easily the Ice party had managed to sneak through the halls without trouble. 

 

 

A little while later Indra once more entered the room, this time with Octavia on her heels. Messy bed-hair and a scowl on her face that almost resembled Indra’s, Octavia’s tired frown turned into wide eyes as she took in the room. 

“What the-” 

“Octavia. You know where the old barracks are?” Lexa immediately asked her. The young warrior nodded, pulling her gaze from the bodies on the floor to the Commander’s eyes.

Lexa motioned towards Roan and Echo. “Take them. When you get there, ask for Ida and tell her to give them shelter.”

“ _Sha, Heda,_ ” Octavia replied. She cast a questioning glance at Clarke, who nodded in return to let her friend know she was okay. 

“I will find you later today. Stay low and do not betray your presence to anyone other than Ida. You can trust her,” Lexa told Roan and Echo before they followed after Octavia and left the room. Indra took off not much later to fetch some guards who would help clean the room.

 

With a deep breath Lexa turned to Clarke, feeling almost guilty at having to be the Commander first before focusing on Clarke. 

“Are you okay?” she asked.

With a tense jaw Clarke nodded, stepping into Lexa’s arms. The room they stood in looked brutal and both closed their eyes, forgetting about it for a moment and just holding on to each other.

Clarke swallowed. “If Roan hadn’t been there-” 

“I would’ve figured something out,” Lexa interrupted her. “I’ve lived through more than one assassination attempt, Clarke. It was you I was worried about.”

Lexa felt Clarke press a kiss to her cheek. The weight on the shoulders of the Commander once more settled, this time accompanied with a load of guilt and way too early in the morning. 

 

* * *

 

When Indra arrived back with a number of Lexa’s guards, Clarke was just cleaning her blade from the first red to ever stain it. With wide eyes the men looked from the dead Ice warriors at the door and near the bed to Lexa and Clarke. It seemed almost unbelievable that the two women had made the four kills by themselves after being attacked in their sleep. 

It was also not what happened. 

But the warriors’ eyes once more flitted over to Clarke before they started hauling away the bodies and Lexa realized that they did, in fact, believe they were their kills. 

More specifically, they were impressed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can I just say I really like this whole Roan-Echo team up. Look at them being all badass together.


	34. Illusions and Trickery

Once the bodies had been removed from the room and the bloodstains were as good as gone, there was no point in going back to sleep. Not that they probably could, anyway. 

Lexa ordered her guards to take the bodies of the Ice warriors to a secluded place in case she would need them for proof later. They hesitated when she told them not to spread word about the attack, but nodded their heads in agreement. 

 

After all that she had already survived on earth, Clarke wasn’t surprised to find that she was less shocked than she had thought she would be after the assassination attempt. Surely it had come unannounced in the middle of the night and had been frightening, but Lexa had calmly handled the situation and after recovering from the initial surprise Clarke felt less horrified than what was probably appropriate. If she were to recall the attack to her friends and family, Clarke expected them to react much worse.

Perhaps she really was getting used to life on the ground.

 

* * *

 

“So you don’t use these barracks anymore?” Clarke asked as they walked up to the rectangular building where Lexa had sent Echo and Roan off to. Early morning had arrived and the sun was on the brink of rising. The second Coalition meeting was scheduled later that morning and Lexa decided to make good use of the time before that. 

“Not for soldiers, no,” Indra answered from next to her, jaw set but eyes somehow softer than usual. “It is still in use, though.”

Before Clarke had the chance to ask what for, two young girls pushed their way out of the front door and ran up to them with large smiles on their faces, excitedly shouting things in Trigedasleng that Clarke could only partially follow. Before they reached them though, they seemed to remember their manners and stopped in front of Lexa, bowing their heads shortly. 

“ _Heya goufa,_ ” Lexa greeted them, causing the girls to once more beam large smiles at her. They straightened their spines again when they saw the company their Heda had brought.

“Will yu come in?” the smaller girl asked with a heavy accent that made Clarke want to go ‘aww’ in cuteness. When Lexa nodded, the girls excitedly led them to the door.

“ _Yu kom op kos Echo en Roan?_ (You came here for Echo and Roan?)” the other girl asked.

Lexa glanced at the child at the mention of their names. Apparently the guests had introduced themselves.

“ _Sha. Ba shof yu op hashta emo tagon_ (Yes. But be quiet about their names),” Lexa answered her.

 

 

As they entered the building, Clarke noticed it more or less seemed to be a hostel. The home opened up to a fairly large room with a connected hallway.

Three other kids greeted them with large smiles and Lexa greeted them warmly. One of them ran off and came back with a middle-aged woman, who looked both surprised and pleased to have visitors. 

“Leksa,” the woman greeted her, eyes sparkling. She waited a moment before bowing her head and then walked up closer to her, half embracing her as she placed a kiss against the Commander’s temple. 

Clarke watched in awe. The woman seemed to have both respect and affection for Lexa and was not afraid to show it.

“ _Hei Ida,_ ” Lexa told her with a small smile. The woman looked over Clarke and Indra with a friendly gaze. She cast a distrusting glance at the sword on Indra’s hip but made no comment on it. Instead, her face turned slightly solemn.

“It is still early. Business?” Ida asked Lexa with a knowing but sympathetic look. Lexa nodded. 

The woman motioned them to follow her. “They are in the back.”

As they followed after Ida, Clarke noticed that various children had gathered. Some still in their sleeping gowns, they stood next to each other, spines straight and quietly watching the visitors. They looked too different to be siblings and she figured this must be some sort of children’s home. 

“Aden.” Clarke was surprised to recognize the boy from their training times. He seemed to be one of the eldest of the group, his hair distinctly lighter from the darker colors of the other children.

The boy smiled softly and nodded his head at her before returning his gaze to Lexa almost immediately.

At the sound of Clarke’s voice Lexa had turned to see the children as well. A smile crept onto her lips. 

“ _Natblida._ Go,” she dismissed them, letting them know she wasn’t expecting anything from them. 

The realization dawned on Clarke. “Nightbloods?”

Lexa nodded once but didn’t say anything as they followed Ida to the back of the building.

 

* * *

 

“I find it hard to believe that your queen ordered an assassin attack,” Indra grumbled, clear she was implying Echo to be lying. “It seems so…Delphikru. Rash and foolish.”

Roan huffed out a laugh at the comparison he very well understood. The room was filled with the five of them: Roan and Echo, Clarke and Lexa, and Indra by their side. Echo had made herself comfortable in one of the chairs since they had arrived earlier that morning, while Roan switched between restless pacing and leaning against the table in the corner of the room. Octavia had long gone back to her room after having dropped them off, cursing under her breath about how it was way too early. 

Lexa fixed Echo with a harsh stare, once more going over the story they had told her. Out of habit she longed for a window to gaze out of, but the room held none for which she was actually quite grateful; Ida had clearly understood the necessity to keep her two guests hidden.

“The men were marked. It was clear that they were Azgeda,” Lexa mused. “Are you telling me your queen is foolish enough to tie herself so easily to an assassination attempt on the Commander?”

Echo gritted her teeth, gripping the armrests of the chair she had been seated on. “It wasn’t supposed to fail.”

“That doesn’t matter,” Indra retorted. “All these years Nia has been trying to bend the Commander, not kill her. She might try to force her hand or remove her from position as commander but since the spirit would simply be passed on, her death would earn the Queen nothing.”

“It would,” Roan cut in. “She has another one... Another Nightblood.”

The realization settled heavy in both Clarke and Lexa’s mind and with those words it became a lot easier to trust that Echo and Roan were telling the truth.

“She hid the girl and raised her herself. I suppose she has trained her for this as well, to be your successor,” Roan continued.

“My spirit would never choose her,” Lexa stated.

“But who would stop my mother from somehow placing her on the throne anyway? Your death could secure her indirect rule over all the clans,” Roan countered. 

A silence fell over the room.

“You said she knew,” Clarke spoke up, gaining the attention of all present. “The Queen - you said she knew I would be with Lexa.”

Echo sighed. “She suspected it, I confirmed it.” 

Although Lexa’s face remained passive, a scowl crawled over Indra’s face. 

“I had to give her something,” Echo defended. “Besides, her warriors were ready to jump at the at the chance of claiming Wanheda’s power. When I confirmed you were also the Commander’s lover, she decided to kill two birds with one stone.”

“Betrothed,” Lexa mumbled.

“What?”

“She’s my betrothed, not just my lover.”

Roan shifted in place and Echo’s eyes shifted from where they had lingered on Clarke to the ground. “I apologize, Heda.”

Clarke’s cheeks burned. Well, they might as well find out now. This wasn’t exactly the way nor the time she expected Lexa to tell them but the Commander had a faraway look in her eyes and Clarke realized she had more or less mumbled the words out loud to herself. 

The next moment Lexa seemed to snap out of it, facing the Ice people again with sharpness in her eyes. “Whether or not you meant to do so, you have handed me enough proof of Nia conspiring against me and breaking the Coalition’s rules she bound herself to yesterday. You also managed to save both my own and Clarke’s life, which I can’t ignore. If what you say is true and your people suffer under Nia’s rule, then we now have a chance to change that.”

Roan faced her, sincerity in his eyes. “It is true, Commander.”

Lexa nodded and shifted her gaze to Clarke. “Then we have work to do.”

 

* * *

 

When they left the building, the sun had risen and morning had fully begun. Those few hours since they had been up had done wonders for Polis’ streets. The air was cool against Clarke’s skin, just cold enough to make her fingers ache slightly. The smell of the air was sweet and fresh, the patches of grass a dark green and the leaves on trees changing rapidly in color.

Clarke breathed in deeply. “Do we have any time left before the meeting?”

Lexa nodded. “I am Commander, they don’t start without me.”

They had discussed the plan thoroughly and had decided on the best way to confront Nia. After all, they were bound to meet her later that day. Restlessness lingered in their bodies but neither Lexa nor Clarke was looking particularly forward to going back to their room. 

Next to the building they had just walked out of was a small clearing where young boys and girls were sparring. 

“Actually, I might know how we could spend our time before that,” Lexa said with a smile, realizing they both needed a distraction from what had happened. Clarke followed her gaze, noticing a few of the children that she had seen earlier. 

 

 

They walked up to them quietly and stood watching for a while. Only a few of the children noticed but were quick to redirect their attention back to their training, the excitement of having their Heda watch them noticeable in their postures.

“Good,” Lexa praised a young boy that managed to get a hit on his opponent. She walked up to them, hands behind her back.

“Keep in your elbows, he is focused on your arms. Use your feet more,” she said in a hushed voice to the other boy, an encouraging glean in her eyes.

He nodded once before Lexa ordered, “again.”

Titus stood near the other side of the training area, keeping a close eye on a specific fight.

“I thought Titus was the one who looked after the Nightbloods?” Clarke asked Lexa, remembering the woman that had greeted them earlier.

“He is,” Lexa answered her. “Titus is a good man; he teaches and trains them, but he does not quite understand a child’s need for more than that. That is why I asked Ida to watch over them.”

“You mean she wasn’t around when you were younger?”

One side of Lexa’s mouth carefully tugged up in a reminiscent smile. “She was. But things were different back then. Nightbloods are brought to Polis at a young age and trained for their ascension day from the very start. That is their only goal: to one day be chosen by the Commander’s spirit. Titus knows that and he trains them well for that same purpose.”

Lexa fell quiet for a while, watching the children who seemed even more determined to do their best now. 

“It is a lonely life. One that is only lived for others. I was Anya’s second before I became Commander and during those days I met Ida. She was nice to us; bought sweets from the market and gave them to us when Titus wasn’t looking. She treated us like children, not potential commanders. It was an odd thing,” Lexa told, smiling. 

Clarke had moved her eyes from the training Nightbloods to Lexa instead, finding the memories playing across her face both fascinating and endearing.

“Ida told us that we were all worthy of our nightblood. That somehow we were family. We couldn’t afford to think that way and Titus made that perfectly clear to us. But most of us had no family here in Polis and Ida treated us like we were hers. When I became Commander I asked her to do the same for the next generation of Nightbloods.”

“Titus was okay with that?” Clarke asked with a skeptical grin.

Lexa chuckled out a laugh. “He was. As long as they stay focused on his lessons, he didn’t mind Ida’s presence in their lives. I suppose even he has a soft spot in his heart.”

Clarke turned back to the Nightbloods that had now switched to training with spears. “It must be hard though, for Ida. To know that only one will survive in the end.”

Lexa nodded. “She’s known that from the beginning. But, as she says, dark blood is no reason to not give a child a home.”

 

* * *

 

Seven children were sprawled out in front of Clarke and Lexa, holding their breaths in excitement at the story Lexa was telling them.

“And when your brother ate fast, he competed against wildfire and it burned the table just as quickly as the meat. And when Thialfi competed at running, he raced against my thought and he was not likely to be able to compete with its speed. And when you drank from the horn and it seemed that it was going slowly, the other end of the horn was out in the sea and you surely did lower the sea’s level,” Lexa told in a dramatic voice as the children seated in a circle around them listened with wide eyes.

“He was tricked,” a young girl sitting next to Clarke whispered to her.

Smiling, Clarke nodded. “He was,” she replied in a whisper, endeared by the captivated looks on the children’s faces. By the way Lexa was telling the story, they must’ve heard it many times before. Still it enthralled them and Clarke couldn’t disagree.

“And when Okuthor angrily snatched up his hammer and turned to swing it at the giant, he could nowhere see him,” Lexa concluded the story, gliding her gaze over the children’s faces until they settled on Clarke and caused a smile to form on her lips.

Soft chuckles and whispers went through the group of children.

“Will you tell another one, Heda?” a boy around the age of nine questioned.

“Perhaps another time. We must leave soon,” Lexa answered, the small smile still on her face. “Maybe Clarke will tell you one of her sky stories next time.”

The children turned to the blonde with excited looks. 

“Maybe I will,” Clarke chuckled. “Although I doubt our stories are as good as yours.”

Lexa found her eyes and Clarke understood. It was time to go. With the tricking of Okuthor and the smiles on the children’s faces in mind, Clarke braced herself for the upcoming storm.

 

* * *

 

The throne room was filled with murmurs of the clan leaders. Legs crossed, Nia sat in her chair with her arms comfortably resting on the sides. Sunrise had came an hour ago and all leaders had gathered for the meeting - all except two.

She flexed her jaw and marveled at the fresh feeling of her skin. Her night rest had been surprisingly good and she figured it was due to the grand prospect of waking up to the aftermath of the Commander’s execution. Although Echo hadn’t reported back yet, there had been no sign of either Lexa or Clarke and judging by their current absence, it was clear there had been some sort of disruption. 

 

Those present were starting to get impatient and just as Nia was about to speak up and make a mocking comment on the Commander being late, the doors of the throne room swung open. In came walking Clarke, the head of an Ice Nation warrior in each hand and black coal surrounding her blue eyes. Indra and Ryder quietly followed after her, but all eyes were drawn to the blonde’s demanding posture. 

The room fell into silent shock and Clarke came to a halt in front of the Ice Queen whose face now held a disgusted scowl.

“I believe,” the Commander of Death spoke as she dropped the heads to the floor with a sickening thump, “these are yours.”


	35. This Is Not What I Expected

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little later than expected, but I really wanted to get this chapter right.
> 
> Also, I'm leaving for the US in a month and I won't have much time to write while I'm there, so I kind of want to finish this fic in the next 4 weeks. Or at least leave it at a satisfying point which kind of makes us all feel like they got their happily ever after.
> 
> So. Here we go. I hope you enjoy :)

The tension in the room was sickening. The shock was clearly written on everyone’s face and even Nia’s eyes widened a bit at the unexpected entrance, although she was quick to compose herself. 

“What is the meaning of this?!” Titus immediately questioned, stepping forward from where he had been standing in his position next to the Commander’s throne.

Clarke, however, ignored him and fought to hold her jaw set, determined not to show even the slightest hint of hesitation.

Nia’s eyes stayed glued to Clarke’s in an arrogant gaze and only after a few long seconds did she lower them to the rolling heads on the floor. Azgeda marks were clearly visible on the men’s painful faces and with the same smoothness the Queen directed her gaze back up to Wanheda.

“They are mine indeed,” she answered Clarke almost carelessly. “I suppose you have an explanation for bringing them to me in this state?”

“This one,” Clarke said, nudging the decapitated head on her left with her foot, “didn’t do well under stress. Which is ironic, since they snuck into the Commander’s bedroom in the middle of the night. You’d think an assassin sent to kill you wouldn’t immediately spill his guts at the slightest indication of torture.”

Nia’s teeth gnawed at the inside of her cheek in anger. The dead warrior in question was known to be a bit of a fool, but she had hoped his determinism to kill Wanheda would be enough to keep him focused. The Queen hadn’t expected things to work out this way, with Clarke alive and her warriors dead and the plan apparently uncovered - but now that it did, she would just have to find another way to work this out in her favor.

“Lexa seems to have a special place in her heart for you, Wanheda, but that doesn’t mean the rest of us do,” Nia said, rising from her chair, knowing their height difference would add somewhat to her impression of power.

“You will refer to Heda properly,” Titus growled, displeased with the way Nia threw Lexa’s name around like she was just anyone. Nia spared him an unimpressed glance before turning back to Clarke.

“The Commander has had trouble handling her weakness before. Ice Nation had happily stepped in back then and certainly didn’t hesitate to do so again. See it as a favor; it helps her rule better. Besides, who am I to deny my warriors the chance of gaining Wanheda’s power?”

The confession took Clarke aback. A murmur went through the leaders present and Clarke realized Nia expected them to back her up. She expected her reasons to be valid enough to somehow gain their support. The thought left Clarke nauseous.

“Are you confessing to an attack on the Commander?” Titus asked with subdued rage and nervousness in his trembling voice.

Nia chuckled dismissively. “I did no such thing, Flamekeeper. Everyone here will confirm that I was preparing for a vote of no confidence, not for Lexa’s execution.”

“Really? That is not what he told us,” Clarke said, once again motioning to the head of the dead Ice warrior on the ground. “But it is of no matter-”

“It does matter! You will not stand here and confess to sending attackers to Heda’s chambers,” Titus roared at Nia. Lexa’s absence was getting noticeable by this point, the entire room growing restless and no one but Clarke knowing of the Commander’s wellbeing. “Whether this was an attempt on Heda or Wanheda, you broke the Coalition’s rules you bound yourself to yesterday. You may have gotten away with Kostia, but do not for one second think that-”

“ _Shof op, Titus._ ” Lexa chose that moment to appear, four guards at her back and walking through the throne room’s doors as if it was just another everyday meeting, stoicism once more fixed on her unimpressed face. 

Those present reacted with a shallow gasp before one by one hesitantly dropping to one knee. Clarke watched Lexa walk up to her throne, the Commander’s red sash standing out more than ever and their eyes met for the shortest moment in which sparks flew. With an air of authority Lexa strode through the room and Clarke was reminded of all the moments that she had seen Lexa in this commander mode; proud and regal and beautiful all the same, making butterflies erupt in Clarke’s stomach like the day they first met.

Before Lexa reached her chair, she passed by the Ice Queen who was still standing proudly. Nia’s eyes, however, betrayed a sort of surprise.

“Queen Nia,” Lexa greeted her. “You look as if you weren’t expecting my presence.”

Lexa noticed the movement as Titus stepped forward and knew he was about to order the Queen to bow before the Commander. Before he had the chance to say anything, Lexa held up her hand. “Clarke. Please continue.”

Their eyes met once again and Clarke took a breath, drawing more determination from Lexa as the Commander settled in her chair. “Titus is right. Even if you think you have legit reasons to wish me dead, it is still a crime against the Coalition’s rules.”

“It is,” Nia confirmed. “So let Heda make her judgment and let us see if those assembled here shall not rebel.”

The Queen’s lips turned into a suppressed smirk and once again Clarke knew she was counting on the other clans’ support. 

“We shall. However, this wasn’t simply an attack on Wanheda,” Clarke said, and saw the small roll of Nia’s eyes. “No, _this_ was an attempt on the life of Heda’s betrothed.”

The murmur that broke out was louder this time and Clarke watched Nia’s self-confidence break piece by piece.

The Desert leader stood up. “Heda. Is it true?”

Instead of answering, Lexa let her gaze roam over the seated leaders, chin high. Her silence spoke loudly and a knowing smile broke out over Luna’s face while Titus shifted in place, unsurprised but still displeased.

Darios stood up and slowly walked until he stood in front of the Queen. The Lake leader’s imposing height ridiculed Nia’s own stance and she visibly had to fight the urge not to step back. 

“You tried to assassinate Heda’s betrothed?” Darios questioned, voice heavy.

“I tried to save you all from falling victim to a weak commander,” Nia retorted. 

Without warning, Indra stepped forward and slapped the Ice Queen across the face. “Call her weak again and I will cut out your tongue for speaking ill of your commander.”

With a growl Nia recovered as various people reached for their sheathed weapons. Before it could escalate any further Titus called out, “Enough. Queen Nia kom Azgeda, you have been accused and have confessed to an attempt on the life of Wanheda, betrothed of Heda and leader kom Skaikru. What do you have to say for yourself?”

Nia’s face scrunched up in what seemed to be anger and disgust. “I say Lexa is no longer fit to rule. A Commander isn’t supposed to have a spouse and I am disappointed you would allow it. I stand by my actions and call for the support of the other clans.”

What could’ve been an impressive speech now sounded more or less like a panicked attempt to escape punishment.

“You will have no-” 

Lexa held up her hand, effectively silencing Titus once again. “Let her make her move.”

A few silent moments passed but to Nia’s dismay, none made an attempt to back her up. 

“ _Heda houmon ste presh; jomp em op en yu jomp Heda op. Yu dula foto fop_ (The Commander’s wife is sacred; attack her and you attack the Commander. You made a grave mistake),” one of the leaders then spoke. The other clan leaders stood up, mumbling their ayes in agreement and watching the Queen with heavy eyes, and with that statement Nia realized she had been outplayed.

With growling words she tried to convince them there was no difference, that history had taught them better and that Clarke was the Commander’s weakness which would become their downfall.

Once glance at Wanheda, the heads of two dead warriors lying at her feet, and that statement was ridiculed. Clarke oozed of power and those present in the room recognized the united front of Heda and Wanheda. 

Nia had never stood a chance.

 

* * *

 

“This is not what I expected when you called for a summit of the clans,” Titus said displeased after the room had been cleared of all the other leaders and Nia had been taken into custody. 

“Plans change,” Lexa responded. She still sat in her throne, gaze absentmindedly fixed on the closed doors of the throne room. 

“There will be a trial tomorrow,” she continued, “to decide what happens to the Queen.”

Indra scowled. “If you can even call her a queen by now. She doesn’t deserve a trial, Heda, she deserves death.”

“Allow me to rephrase,” Lexa said, “to decide what happens to Azgeda.”

Clarke, still flushed with adrenaline, couldn’t find the calm to sit down. She shifted in place, pacing back and forth every once in a while. 

“What of Skaikru’s joining to the Coalition?” Titus asked, remembering the initial reason for the summit.

Lexa’s eyes went to Clarke. The blonde was still dressed in the outfit that had been arranged for Skaikru’s initiation, beautiful and dangerous for all to see. It made Lexa’s cheeks feel on fire. “Clarke is to be bonded to me; her people are my people.”

“Fine,” Titus sighed heavily, moving to leave the room. 

“I will make arrangements for the trial tomorrow. And someone get these out of here,” he mumbled with disgust, motioning to the heads that still laid on the floor not too far from them.

Lexa shifted her gaze to Ryder, who had taken a stand near the doors. She raised an eyebrow. It took him a moment to realize, but then, with a grumble, he reluctantly went to do as Titus had requested.

 

* * *

 

In Lexa’s bedroom, no sign remained of the struggle that had taken place earlier that morning. The memory, however, was still fresh in their minds. Lexa suggested they could sleep in Clarke’s originally assigned room instead for a while, but Clarke was quick to dismiss that idea. There were too many great memories to let them be overshadowed by one terrible one, she insisted. Lexa silently nodded, having a fair share of sickening reminders herself. Still, with Clarke, they faded to the background.

 

With heavy arms Lexa reached for a small mirror and a wetted cloth before plopping down on the bed. As she went to work on removing the black paint from her eyes, Clarke casually shrugged out of the top part of her dress. She faced Lexa, moving slowly and with purpose as more of her skin was uncovered. Noticing the unexpected turn of events, Lexa’s hand froze, half the war paint still smudged on her face. Breathlessly and with a slight raise of her brow, she stared at the sudden exposure of Clarke’s breasts.

Clarke smirked, getting a little closer and keeping her eyes fixed on those of the other girl. It was quite adorable how after all the nights they spent together, Lexa’s cheeks still flushed at seeing Clarke. As she stepped out of her dress further, leaving her only in her underwear, Lexa’s eyes dropped as well before shooting up to Clarke’s, the delicate outline of black war paint still surrounding blue eyes. 

Clarke chuckled softly at the disheveled state Lexa suddenly seemed to be in. Fingertips smoothed over the skin of her stomach and hands reached for her sides but before Lexa could tug her onto the bed, Clarke stepped back. 

“You done?” Clarke asked, and it took Lexa a moment to realize the blonde was referring to the cloth she had been using to clean off her war paint. 

Even though only half of her face had been cleared of the charcoal, Lexa absentmindedly nodded and handed the cloth over to Clarke. 

Clarke cleared the war paint off her eyes while Lexa still quietly watched her with parted lips. When she was done, however, Clarke reached for a set of fresh clothes from the wardrobe, a snug fitting shirt and trousers. Lexa’s expression fell as the blonde swiftly changed into them.

She kissed Lexa once on her cheek before moving towards the door. 

“Clarke?”

“You need to go take care of the new prisoners, remember? I’ll see you at lunch.”

The bedroom doors closed, Clarke disappearing behind them, and it admittedly took Lexa a moment to gather herself again.

 

* * *

 

“Well, that was fun,” Octavia said with a grin. 

Clarke frowned. 

“You were totally badass, Griffin. You should’ve seen her, Rae, Clarke was all: ‘walk into the room like - what up, I got two Ice Nation heads.’”

Raven chuckled and Clarke’s eyes went wide. “You were at the meeting?”

“Of course I was there. I’m your shadow, Clarke. Lexa’s words, not mine.”

After going by the workshop where they had met with Raven, they had made their way to Polis’ stables on Octavia’s insistence. Something about Indra expecting her to take care of her new horse.

The people they passed on the street seemed to be even more interested in them than usual. As if being from the sky didn’t make them stand out enough, Clarke was now also known to be the Commander’s spouse soon. Now that the clan leaders knew, it was no surprise that word had gotten out on the streets as well.

Clarke, however, didn’t act any different. The same smile was still on her face when they passed the market stalls, she still ruffled a hand through the hair of kids that came up to them, and she still joked around with Octavia and Raven like they were all simply a bunch of teenagers.

 

 

“This guy’s yours?” Raven asked with an impressed smile, looking at the black, young stallion in the stables. 

“Yeah,” Octavia huffed. “Indra said he was perfect for me. He’s a stubborn piece of shit, though.”

“Sounds like Indra was right,” Clarke commented, receiving a jab from Octavia’s elbow in response. As the young warrior got to work on taking care of her given horse, Raven walked past the other stables.

“Woah, who’s horse is this?”

Clarke moved to take a look at the large, white mare Raven was gaping at.

“Queen Nia’s,” Clarke mumbled, remembering clearly how she had arrived on the beautiful beast’s back. There was no doubt this was that same horse; it stood tall and proud like it was something of royalty itself.

“What’s going to happen to her, anyway?” Raven asked, reaching out a hand to gently place on the mare’s nose. 

“Nia? I don’t know, Lexa’s got her thrown in some cell and the rest of the Ice warriors were arrested as well.”

“Hey, I could take her horse,” Octavia said, an excited glint in her eyes as she came to stand next to them, still holding a hoof pick in her hand. “I mean, I don’t think the Queen’s going to be riding anytime soon and my horse seems to be set on being an asshole.”

As if the black stallion understood her, he kicked the door to his stable and huffed loudly. Octavia turned to him. “How am I supposed to clean your hooves if you refuse to raise you damn leg?!”

Clarke couldn’t contain her laugh.

“Yeah, he’s definitely perfect for you,” Raven confirmed.

Octavia pouted and Clarke ran a hand over the white mare’s mane. “Besides, O, I think this one might fit Roan a little better. It is a horse from the Ice lands, after all.”

One of Raven’s eyebrows shot up. “Oh, Roan as in Prince Handsome Roan?”

“Prince Roan as in Prince Roan of Azgeda.”

“Yeah. That guy. So you know he’s in town, huh?”

Clarke nodded. 

“Hm. You know, I always felt like he and Echo were up to something,” Raven remarked uninterested and Clarke rolled her eyes, amused. “Did you see his beard though? For someone who’s banished he sure did a neat job of keeping it trimmed.”

 

* * *

 

“Cedarwood oil,” Roan explained later over lunch to a curious Raven and Bellamy, who were shoving their faces with bread, cheese and berries. "Keeps it nice and smooth."

Bellamy raised an eyebrow in question.

“What? I guess some of my mother’s beauty tips rubbed off, okay?” he mumbled defensively, placing his elbows firmly on the table before taking another bite of his lunch.

“But you were banished.”

Roan shrugged. “I had my suppliers.”

 

The Sky people visiting Polis had joined Clarke and Lexa for lunch in one of the smaller dining rooms along with Echo and Roan on Lexa’s request. Allies were formed not only at political meetings, she realized. 

Roan had asked about the circumstances regarding his mother and the other Ice warriors, and Lexa assured him and Echo they had been taken into custody for the time being. Tomorrow the fate of Azgeda would officially be decided; for now Lexa urged them to share a meal with her.

Introductions had been slightly awkward, Abby not quite sure what to make of these new two figures. Once Clarke had recited how they had saved their lives, however, all Sky people present seemed less hesitant towards them.

Echo had rolled her eyes various times at some of Kane’s attempts at conversation, but recognizing Bellamy and having Raven by her side, she soon no longer minded being in the Sky people’s presence.

For a short moment, political worries were left behind and Clarke and Lexa could breathe.

 

“You looked very nice this morning,” Lexa said soft enough for only Clarke to hear.

A smirk took over the blonde’s face. “I know. If you’re nice I might dress up for you again some time. Maybe in a more private setting.”

Lexa’s eyes widened at the implication and she had to put her cup down to avoid choking on her drink. Clarke chuckled and smiled at her, not bothering to hide her affection. “You looked great too, babe.”

Lexa glanced over the table, seeing their guests in conversation and the mildly content expressions on their faces. A smile tugged on Lexa’s lips. A small one, but a smile nonetheless.


	36. Justice Is Not Far from Revenge

It was the middle of the night when Clarke woke in a thin layer of sweat, panic filled and breathing heavily. Upon realizing the images in her mind had only been a dream, she squeezed her eyes shut and took a deep breath. Nightmares of the Mountain had become less frequent, but every now and then the terrors still woke her from her sleep. 

“Bad dream?” Lexa asked. For a moment Clarke was afraid to have woken her, but Lexa’s eyes were already open and watching her intently. She stroked soft fingertips across Clarke’s arm and half of her face fell in the shadow of soft moonlight that shone through the light curtains, eyes filled with melancholy, and still she looked beautiful. 

Clarke sighed, rolling into Lexa’s form and nodding against her shoulder. She felt Lexa press a kiss to her forehead. “Did I wake you?”

It took Lexa a few more seconds before she shook her head. “It’s not important,” she whispered. A reassuring squeeze of Clarke’s arm. “Sleep.”

 

Clarke moved and settled back to go to sleep, but even in the darkness she didn’t miss the way Lexa’s eyes stayed open. 

When Clarke could no longer fight slumber and was asleep again, Lexa found herself propped up against the headboard. Her gaze wondered over Clarke’s sleeping form and she wondered how many nights it would take before she would be able to sleep again without fearing another assassin attack.

 

* * *

 

“Today we honor our covenant. A clan that stands against one of us, stands against us all.” Lexa’s voice boomed through the throne room. It looked much like the day before, except this time there were no rolling heads on the floor and Nia stood in front of them in chains. 

Titus’ voice was as strained as ever. “Queen Nia has confessed to an attempt on the life of Wanheda. To strike against the Commander’s betrothed is to strike against the Commander.” He spoke the words and then looked at Lexa as if waiting for her to speak her judgment. 

Lexa, however, turned to Clarke. “Wanheda, what say you?”

Clarke swallowed, straightening in her seat. “This may be the first crime the Queen has ever had to account for, but she is responsible for the deaths of many others.” 

Nia chuckled heartlessly, shaking her head. “Are you referring to the loss of Lexa’s former plaything? That poor girl, she never saw it coming.”

If the words were meant to draw out a reaction of anger, they did their job. Before either Lexa or Clarke could react to it, Titus was the one to slap Nia in her face.

“A murderer’s sentence should fit, then,” Clarke continued, subdued anger audible in her voice. “Justice shall be served.” 

Lexa raised her chin, something of contentment settling in her stomach. “A thousand cuts it is,” she decided. “Starting with your tongue.”

 

As the guards took a firm hold on the Queen in chains once again, ready to drag her away to await her punishment, Lexa continued. “Members of the Coalition. Let us now decide on the fate of the Ice Nation.”

Nia curled her lips in a snarl, even as she proudly resisted the guards’ hold on her. “Your attempts to ruin Azgeda will fail. When my son will hear of my death, he will rally the people and they shall avenge me. My death will be your downfall.”

Clarke stood up, not wanting to give Nia the satisfaction of thinking she still had the upper hand here. “ _Hod op._ ”

The guards didn’t hesitate to follow her order, stopping in their tracks. Lexa watched with curious eyes but made no attempt to interfere as Clarke walked up to the Queen.

“You’re wrong. Roan will rally his people, yes, but they will be better off without you.”

Nia raised her eyebrows in disbelief. “And how would you know?”

Clarke shifted in place, grounding herself to keep her stance. “Because he is here.”

A low murmur went through the present leaders. With a sigh Roan stepped out of a dark corner of the room, removing his hood and showing his face.

Various people reached for their weapons, mumbling things about his banishment. 

“Enough,” Lexa stopped them. “The prince is here as our guest.”

Nia laughed patronizingly at the way Roan’s shameful eyes showed clear hesitation when he looked at her directly. “And to think that I called you my son.”

Roan huffed. “You have never. Not unless it was to some political advantage to you.”

“Take her away,” Lexa then decided, not caring for any more of Nia’s presence. This left Roan standing uncomfortably in the midst of the clan leaders.

“Couldn’t have waited a little longer with introducing me?” Roan asked, receiving an apologetic smile from Clarke.

“Is what she says true? Will you be Azgeda’s new king?” one of the leaders then asked, standing up to stress his question.

Roan turned to face the clan leaders. “It has never been my desire to be king. But if it means that I can represent my people under the rule of the Commander, then yes.”

“What of Azgeda? Will they not rebel? How are you sure they will accept your claim to the throne?”

Roan sighed. “I am heir to the throne after my mother. It is our way. They will accept it.”

 

* * *

 

Clarke found Lexa later that day in their room, cross-legged and eyes closed in a meditative position. Feeling almost bad at disturbing the seeming peaceful state she was in, Clarke quietly sat down next to her. 

“I’ve had them make a throne for you,” Lexa spoke, not bothering to open her eyes. Clarke was silent and Lexa softly smiled, just able to imagine the look printed on her face. 

“To sit next to me,” she explained. “So the people will see who you are.” 

Clarke pressed a kiss to Lexa’s check in adoration. She leaned into Lexa and nuzzled into the brunette’s neck, savoring the warm and familiar smell of her.

“We’re expected in an hour,” Clarke mumbled. The Queen’s execution was scheduled to take place that same day and although Clarke felt relieved to know that Nia would no longer be a threat, nervousness accompanied her whenever she thought about what was to come. She had witnessed it before; saved Finn from it and watched Gustus suffer, and wasn’t particularly looking forward to seeing it again.

This time, however, there would be no room for empathy or weakness. This time she would stand by Lexa, head held high and stoicism on her face. 

As if reading her thoughts, Lexa squeezed her hand. “It’s going to be fine, Clarke.”

With a deep sigh she forced her tensing muscles to relax. “Is there anything you need to do before we go?”

“No, Titus has taken care of the preparations.”

Clarke nodded. “Good. So maybe we can just sit here until then?”

Lexa turned her head to catch blue eyes. She nodded.

 

* * *

 

As it turned out, punishments executed in the capitol city were much more imposing than those in TonDC had been. Clarke hadn’t thought it possible, but with all of Polis gathered in the middle of the square she was reminded differently. 

Lexa’s jaw was tense and Indra looked as gruff as ever. 

“This is more than she deserves,” the dark warrior grumbled. 

War drums were sounding and the people were restless. Lexa adjusted her grip on the hilt of her sword that hung from her side; a sign of nerves Clarke had come to recognize. Or perhaps it was the fact that that very sword would be used today to end Nia’s life. 

“I am aware,” Lexa replied. “But the people need to witness this. It is our way.”

_It is our way._ And Clarke, against all she had ever believed in, understood. Even the death of the woman who murdered Lexa’s first love in cold blood, would be for her people rather than for Lexa herself.

 

With much brutality Nia was tied to a stake, still looking as proud and regal as ever.

Clarke glanced to the side where Abby and Kane stood as well, determined to at least see this through. The looks on their faces were all but pleasant, however. Raven had refused to come, saying she had had seen enough of this sort, and Clarke couldn’t blame her. Bellamy, Monty and Jasper had voted to stay away as well, while Octavia stood proudly by Indra’s side.

“How do we know this will not get a rise out of Azgeda?” Clarke mumbled, suddenly concerned that the Queen’s public punishment would only work in their disadvantage. 

“If what Roan said was true, her people will only be happy with her demise,” Indra answered. “They know she deserves this as much as we do.”

Clarke took a breath and steeled herself. Indra was right. They couldn’t hesitate now.

Looking around, she didn’t notice the upcoming Ice king anywhere. She could hardly blame him for not wishing to witness the death and public shaming of his mother. She did find Echo standing on the sideline and at that same time Nia seemed to notice as well. 

Her eyes widened at seeing the Royal Guard alive but nothing more than a filthy look and a few strangled noises came out due to the gag in her mouth. Echo’s face remained impassive and Clarke felt an immense amount of respect for her, knowing how Echo had felt conflicted about betraying her queen. Roan, however, had assured her that she had _only_ betrayed Nia and not their clan. 

Still, it took courage to be here.

Titus spoke some words that went completely past Clarke as she watched the scene in front of her. Lexa was quiet, _concentrated,_ and was swift to step forward when the moment arrived.

She stopped in front of Nia and even though she seemed calm, Clarke saw the tremors trapped inside her. “I’d give you any last words, but it seems you have always abused your right to speak.”

Then, without hesitation, Lexa kept her promise as a guard forced the Queen’s mouth open, removed the gag, and the Commander cruelly cut off her tongue. Clarke’s stomach lurched at the image but she remained impassive, even as Lexa unceremoniously threw the cut off muscle on the ground before coming to stand next to Clarke again.

The Commander’s gaze was still fixed on Nia as if she forced herself to keep it there, afraid that Clarke would see something brutal in her eyes. Her jaw clenched and Clarke brought her hand to Lexa’s wrist, softly brushing the skin and conveying her support.

 

No one survived a thousand cuts. That was also the point of it; the lives taken were too many for a person to live with. In contrast to their usual tradition in which every clan member took their turn, Lexa allowed only a selected number of people to use their knives against the Queen, including those she knew to have personally lost someone at the hands of Nia. Polis was quiet except for the occasional war drum and as more and more knives drew red, it wasn’t long before the Queen’s stubborn pride gave way to pained cries that even she couldn’t subdue. 

The line between justice and revenge became blurred at many occasions and when Lexa’s burning eyes found Clarke in a silent question, she nodded. 

Clarke’s steps towards the groaning, half alive woman tied to the stake were strong. Polis’ eyes were on her and she could even feel her mother’s heavy stare. But this was the woman who not only attempted to kill her, but also the one who tried to take Lexa away from her and murdered the girl who had first made the Commander’s heart sing. 

The dagger drew crimson and shallow, more painful than fatal, across the woman’s chest. Clarke’s eyes never left hers. 

She wanted to reach for words, tell Nia her fight was over, that she would never know peace - but left those words for Lexa. Once Clarke was back in her place next to Lexa, Nia had given up on stifling her groans of pain. Although nearing death, she was still conscious, and Lexa took this moment to step forward again.

The next few moments were filled with Nia’s dying moans as Lexa dragged her blade over the woman’s skin again and again. Lexa’s jaw was trembling and Clarke knew that this was, in fact, for Lexa herself. 

The city of Polis watched quietly and they, too, knew what this meant to their Commander. 

After a while Nia’s head hung slumped on her chest, occasional breaths only coming in painful, trembling bouts. As always, Lexa composed herself, true to the self-control of Commander.

Leaning forward, she spoke the words in Nia’s ear, too soft for anyone else to hear as her blade pushed strongly and finally through the woman’s heart.

“ _Jus drein jus daun,_ ” went once through the square, and then all was quiet.

 

 

“The remaining Ice warriors will be sent home with Prince Roan for his coronation,” Titus murmured after a while from where he stood next to them. The people were gradually dispersing again, getting ready to once more return to the routine of their daily lives even though an eerie reminder still stained the city square. 

Clarke and Lexa remained standing, the realization of what had passed slowly setting in. It almost seemed too surreal to be over.

“Take her down,” Lexa commanded. Titus didn’t hesitate, bowed his head respectfully and gathered a few guards to remove the dead queen from her position. Once done they covered her body with a large sheet and carried it off to a large wagon, where it would be taken to the Ice Nation’s lands. She was not theirs to burn, Lexa had explained.

Lexa didn’t move from her spot and Clarke remained still as well. After a while Indra and Octavia took their silent leaves and it wasn’t until everyone else had left as well that Clarke spoke up, quietly. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Lexa looked away, shook her head. 

 

And Lexa didn’t talk about it. Not when she knelt by Costia’s grave a little while later, not when Luna gave her a knowing look, not when Clarke took Lexa’s wrist and led her through the streets and out of Polis’ walls until they reached a small lake near the clearing where they had trained before. There Lexa took off her bloodstained fingerless gloves and Clarke helped her out of her crimson speckled shirt, neither sharing a word although enough was shared in the moments their eyes met.

The water was cold enough to be on the verge of being painful but Clarke ignored the burning in her legs as they stepped into the lake. Lexa seemed to be grateful for the icy cleansing. She washed the stains and reminders from the Queen’s death off her skin and as the red dissolved into the clear water, she found serenity.

 

* * *

 

It was still early in the afternoon when they made it back to their room, washed clean and lungs cool from the fresh air. There were still many things that had to be seen to and there would always be skirmishes for them to sort out, but today had been an important event and the prospect that things would change for the better, was something that elicited a quiet hope in them.

 

Lexa stood on the balcony, the breeze weaving around her figure and her face still fixed in stoicism although her eyes were soft with a dozen emotions. Clarke wrapped her arms around Lexa from behind, her hands moving just underneath Lexa’s shirt to rest against warm skin. She took in the view from over her shoulder. Polis had returned to its glorious daily life and for the first time she looked upon the city as theirs to look over; not just as Lexa’s. 

“Perhaps we can finally have peace after today,” Lexa mused softly, finding silent comfort in Clarke’s hold. 

Clarke hummed softly, pressed a kiss to the back of Lexa’s neck. “A new beginning.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In all fairness, I thought Nia was a great character on the show. There's many ways I could've gone with her in my fic but I decided to make her the typical badguy, just to make it easier for the story. She probably deserves a more interesting way to die than by a thousand cuts, but I really wanted to give Lexa this closure.
> 
> Also, if you're wondering why they're not all dancing around and singing, "ding-dong, the Queen is dead," - it's because I felt like the death of Costia's killer shouldn't be taken lightly. Yes, there's hope and a possible brighter future ahead, but getting closure can be quite sentimental as well.
> 
> Or maybe I'm just overthinking everything. Ah well.


	37. My Attention's Only on Important Things

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi. I'm late. 
> 
> So here's an extra long chapter :p

“It fits you,” Lexa said quietly, only meant for Clarke, as another merchant left the throne room, already followed by the next one to take his spot in front of Heda and Wanheda.

Clarke, seated in the regal chair not unlike Lexa’s own next to the Commander, felt her lips tug upwards. The throne that had been made for her felt comfortable underneath her, even though it was made of the same sturdy wood as Lexa’s. Intricate designs sprawled along the armrests and whereas Lexa’s chair sprang upwards in twisted branches and sharp spears, Clarke’s was more delicate; vines weaved together and subtly reaching for the sky. 

They sat close together - close enough for their fingers to touch from where they rested on the armrests if one of them was to move their hand. 

The small smile was the only reaction Clarke could give to Lexa’s words before another merchant bowed in front of them to present his union gift. They were pleased to see it was Nero, the blacksmith who had crafted both of their swords with the utmost care. 

He raised his head again and stood up, a smile plastered on his face that made his cheeks shine. “Heda, Wanheda.”

“Nero,” Clarke greeted him. “It’s good to see you.”

His eyebrow twitched as he gave her a quick once-over. “If I may be as bold to assume the rumors are true, the sword I gave you has served you well?”

Clarke chuckled. “It has,” she confirmed. Although currently not hanging from her side, she had grown quite attached to it - a familiarity that replaced the dependency she had earlier felt towards her gun. 

Nero’s proud smile turned to Lexa before he settled back to respect and remembered the gifts he had brought them. The two daggers he held in one hand were complimented by a sturdy yet elegant spaulder that he took out of a bag slung over his shoulder. He once more bent to one knee, presenting the gifts with outstretched hands as the others before him had done. “May your ruling be sharp as the finest blade, may your days be long upon the earth, and may you be each other’s armor for all to come.”

His speech of congratulations on their bonding was different from most and it brought a smile to Clarke’s face. Lexa’s eyes already sparkled when she saw the daggers; the fine handles and exquisite blades immediately drew her attention. These must have taken many days to craft and she was immensely pleased with the gift, already imagining them strapped to her side or twirling in her fingers. 

One of her men stepped up to take the gifts and laid them on a table not far from the thrones where a stack of weapons and other gifts were already piled up, although there was no doubt that these outshone most of them. 

Clarke, noticing the royally decorated pauldron laced with blue and silver, gave Nero a gratified nod. Just like Heda had a sign of recognition in her pauldron and red sash, the people seemed to be determined to give Wanheda an armored outfit of her own. Clarke turned to Lexa so their eyes could meet in the familiar silent exchange that seemed to come natural to them, but found the Commander’s gaze still fixed on the daggers Nero had brought.

The blacksmith, too, seemed to notice. He cleared his throat. “You should use them as you please.”

At the sound of his voice Lexa’s eyes finally sprung back to him, before jumping to Clarke’s. Clarke couldn’t hold in her laugh at the look on her face. 

“You can have them,” she assured the brunette, reaching out to pat her hand. “I know how much you care about your daggers. That pauldron is mine, though.”

 

* * *

 

All clan leaders had started on their journey back to their lands, promising to send ambassadors for Clarke and Lexa’s union day. Although it was a grand happening, matters in their own lands called for the leaders’ presence. They had said their blessings and shook arms - some with a more excited expression than others - and had not lingered on the absence of Skaikru’s initiation into the Coalition; Wanheda secured their position. 

Talk of their bonding spread quickly through the city and now that no more threats were looming, they could finally simply enjoy. Aside from the traditional gifts that merchants were determined to present them with, Clarke and Lexa could no longer walk over Polis’ streets without being offered the finest clothing, jewelry and weapons with open hands - all in hope that their leaders would wear it on their day of joining.

Where Clarke had expected the grounder’s version of weddings to be rather solemn and traditional, much like the meetings and Skaikru’s joining to the Coalition would have been, that turned out to be only half of it.

Aside from Lexa, Octavia and Raven seemed to know a surprising lot about it, too.

 

“The official ceremony of a commander’s bonding takes place in the throne room according to tradition,” Lexa explained, eyes trained on her shooting target - a circle on a tree about thirty yards away from her. She released the arrow, lodging it directly in its target before turning to those next to her. “All else is up to us.”

The sun was just warm enough to ease the coolness of the wind. The archery training area resided in the far end of the city; an open area with a look onto the forested hills bordering Polis. 

The trees were subtly starting to change color and Clarke wondered how long it would be before she would find herself in the mornings reaching for the coat Lexa had given her. She didn’t linger on the thought although the prospect made her lips turn upwards, and was quickly brought back to the present when Octavia poked her in the side with an arrow.

“Yeah, yeah. You’re the commander, we get it,” Raven commented with the hint of a grin. She took the bow from Lexa as if it was the most normal thing in the world and positioned herself to nock an arrow, all confidence and ease. “But you’re also Trikru. From what I’ve heard your people have some pretty interesting traditions themselves. How are all these customs going to blend?”

Lexa’s eyes found Clarke, once more conversing in silence. It was a funny thing how Raven, Octavia and the rest of Polis seemed to be more occupied with their wedding day - as they called it - than Clarke and Lexa themselves. 

The last few days had been so packed and stressful that they had barely had time to talk about their bonding, not to mention the details of traditions and formalities. Seeing everyone so enthusiastic about it though, brought up a nervous excitement in Clarke (and in Lexa too, although she’d never admit that).

“Raven, you’re supposed to release the string to let the arrow fly,” Lexa commented when she turned to see Raven’s arm shake with the strain of drawing the bow for so long.

“I know that,” Raven cut back, loosening her hold on the string and turning to face her. “But I can’t concentrate when you’re breathing down my neck like that.”

Lexa raised her eyebrows and took a step back to give the girl more space, not sure how else to respond to that. 

Octavia frowned. “Since when do you use a bow, Reyes?”

Raven shrugged. “It’s all science. Should be easy.”

The way she put it, Clarke could easily believe the girl needed nothing else than her genius to make the shot. Octavia, however, crossed her arms and leaned against the nearby fence, intrigued.

Lexa considered correcting Raven’s stance but decided against it. Perhaps this science would really be all she needed.

When she finally took the shot the arrow flew impressively straight, seemingly heading for its target, but then lost its speed halfway and twisted oddly sideways, instead landing in one of the spare training dummies along the edge of the shooting range. 

“I was aiming for that,” Raven stated and without further ado handed the bow to Octavia. 

 

As the young warrior nocked an arrow of her own, getting into a flawless stance, Lexa shifted in place, remembering their earlier conversation. “I am Trikru, yes. Our ways are important to us but I would not disregard your own customs. Aside from that, we are in Polis, which has a complete culture of its own.”

Clarke wrapped her arms around Lexa from beside her. They were in public, but she couldn’t care less. “Maybe we should pick the traditions that mean the most to us, and then celebrate in whatever way we want to.”

“Was that sexual? That sounded sexual.”

Clarke rolled her eyes at Raven’s remark and Octavia’s second arrow almost missed its target as she tried to stifle her laugh.

“A warrior should never lose focus, Okteivia,” Lexa commented, although her voice and expression were soft - impossible not to be with Clarke’s arms around her. 

“ _Sha, Heda,_ ” Octavia nodded and then added with a careful lightness, “although that doesn’t sound very convincing coming from you nowadays.”

As if Clarke’s arms wrapped around her weren’t a sign enough, Lexa raised an eyebrow in defiance. “Explain.”

Another arrow hit its mark and Octavia turned around, smirk on her face. “From what I’ve heard, you’re not as focused during training anymore, Heda.”

 

 

“He is a dead man,” Lexa stated as she stormed down the streets of Polis, looking for the guard.

Clarke rolled her eyes at Lexa’s dramatic reaction. “Lexa, it was probably just meant as a joke.”

“Clarke, a guard should not speak of his Commander in that way. They should keep private matters like these to themselves.”

Clarke chuckled out a breath. “You really think it’s a secret that you and I have a hard time focusing on anything else when we’re close to each other? Ryder respects you more than anyone else, I’m sure that hasn’t changed just because he is the only one to witness me landing a punch on you during our training.”

Clarke grabbed hold of Lexa’s arm, stopping their walk and pulling the brunette to face her. Without warning, she claimed Lexa’s lips with her own. Taken aback, Lexa’s tensed but then relaxed into it, kissing Clarke back with gentle movement.

Clarke pulled back and Lexa’s adorably confused face stared back at her, brow furrowed and lips parted. “Don’t be too hard on him, please?”

Lexa’s nod was barely visible and from beside them came the sound of giggling. Two young children looked up at them.

They giggled again, bumping against each other as Clarke and Lexa’s attention fell on them.

“ _Heda,_ ” asked one of the girls, “ _en’s ridiyo yu hod em in?_ (is it true you love her?)”

It struck a chord in Clarke because even though she knew Lexa did, admitting that to her people was a completely different thing. 

Lexa, ever the charmer, smiled that half-smile of hers and answered, “ _Sha, en’s ridiyo_ (Yes, it’s true),” complete with a light squeeze of Clarke’s hand in hers and a soft glint in green eyes.

Clarke grinned lovingly at her. “See? No secret at all.”

Lexa huffed, “Fine. But you should know I can focus just fine during training if I wish to.”

“Mhm,” Clarke acknowledged half-heartedly and amused.

 

 

Still, Lexa felt the need to prove something - and besides that, remind Ryder of his place. Clarke saw it coming and she wasn’t surprised when Lexa dragged her to their usual training spot outside of Polis’ walls. Ryder, ever faithfully on duty and the only one to have been assigned to keep an eye on them, sat near the tree line like usual, whittling away on a small piece of wood that was starting to resemble the figure of a horse. 

Although always alert, looking up every few seconds and scanning the surroundings, Ryder was visibly more relaxed than before. Everyone in Polis seemed to be. It brought warmth to Clarke’s chest. Perhaps life really was starting to become about more than just surviving.

 

Lexa’s blade connected with Clarke’s, stopping it’s low, swinging motion in between the two of them. Clarke pushed, Lexa gave way and caused Clarke’s figure to come closer to her own. With a nudge of her shoulder and the sound of metal sliding against metal, she separated them again.

 

Lately, Clarke had taken up the skill of watching her opponent’s face during a fight. It was much like Lexa had said; it predicted their next move as easily as the stance of their feet and allowed her to take in weak spots from the corner of her eye. 

With Lexa, she wasn’t sure if holding her gaze made it easier or harder.

The Commander herself had clearly struggled with it sometimes. Clarke hadn’t hesitated to take the opportunities. It was almost comical, the way Lexa’s gaze could change from focused and stoic to hesitantly lovestruck; focusing too long on blue irises or drifting down to Clarke’s lips. At these occasions, Clarke had to hold back her smirk and would deftly, smoothly position the weapon in her hand to strike where Lexa expected it the less. Green eyes would come back into focus, Lexa would straighten herself and sometimes nod at her in approval, before starting their routine all over again (or simply throw all caution to the wind and crash their mouths together).

 

Today was different. Clarke didn’t need to wonder why. Their sparring was on point, executing defensive and offensive moves without much in between. She didn’t complain, having grown accustomed to her sword and confident in her skills. But Lexa pushed back a little harder and spun at certain points of which Clarke was sure they were only for show. Not once did the Commander allow her to keep the upper hand for long, repelling with careful but forceful moves and never losing focus. 

It was a show of dominance, no matter how ridiculous Clarke thought the reason.

That being said, it was also kind of arousing.

 

Clarke was fond of her sword but didn’t complain as they discarded the weapons nearby and moved to hand to hand combat. 

She had also recently found out she was quite good with a bow - better than she was with a sword, admittedly - and figured it must have something to do with the precision it required from someone’s hand-eye coordination. 

Still, hand to hand combat wasn’t one of her weak points, either.

 

Lexa got in stance. Her chest heaved with concentration but she was far from exhausted.

“Just let me know if you’re tiring, Clarke,” Lexa told her. 

Clarke accepted the challenge with a quirk of her brow. “Let me know when you give up, Lexa.”

 

Not too far away from them, Ryder sat on a boulder, watching the interaction with a mental roll of his eyes. The two women had discarded their blades and that usually meant Heda and Wanheda would get into some odd struggle to gain the upper hand that mostly just counted as low-grade flirting and would end with one of them on their back.

With a chuckle that was only existent through the shake of his shoulders, he averted his eyes back to the piece of wood he was shaping.

 

Much like expected, the two girls soon found themselves in a wrestling match that could barely be called innocent. It had started fairly controlled, jabs that were deflected with ease from both sides, arms that hooked together in defense and caused their bodies to collide, shoves that caused one or the other to land sprawled out on the ground. 

And once one of them fell down, they usually remained there.

 

Pinned to the ground with Lexa’s legs on either side of her, Clarke growled as the brunette leaned down and took the opportunity to bite softly at Clarke’s ear lobe. 

“Have you made your point yet, Commander?” Clarke asked.

Lexa grinned mischievously at her. “This is only the beginning, Clarke.”

 

The thumps and low growls were audible from where Ryder sat. Whereas the rolling of his eyes had only been mentally earlier, he now struggled to keep it from his face. 

He respected his Commander more than anything of course, but these training sessions with Clarke were a bit too mushy for him. 

It was amusing to see the great, stoic Commander falter every now and then, seemingly distracted by Clarke’s eyes or her…other assets. It made for a good story among trusted friends too, not that he’d ever admit that to his Heda.

Still, it was a time of peace and if there was no imminent danger, he preferred to keep his gaze off the sappy love fools as much as possible. Indra would agree with him that their wrestling matches really were a ridiculous sight to behold, he thought to himself.

 

His small knife almost slipped from his grip, drawing a small cut on his finger when a dagger buried itself three inches from his foot. He looked up in shock, grasping for his sword and already feeling stupid for not being more alert, when he noticed his Heda already watching him with a pointed look.

“It seems you are not as focused as you should be, Ryder,” she said. 

Clarke, hands in her side from exhaustion, stood watching the encounter with somewhat of an amused expression.

“Apologies, Heda,” he mumbled. 

Lexa retrieved her dagger and walked back to Clarke, throwing over her shoulder, “Focus, Ryder. You should be alert when you claim your Commander to be easily distracted.”

Oh, that’s where this was coming from. He bit his tongue. He was in for a rough time.

 

* * *

 

Later that day they went by the barracks. The Nightbloods were training as usual, having finished their morning lessons and now working on their skills and reflexes. Titus seemed only glad that Lexa was spending time with them, wishing them to learn from the best. Whereas he expected her to train with them, however, she and Clarke instead took them to the city’s market. 

 

Lexa was sure there were a dozen people who would be all too glad to demand her attention for upcoming matters, but Clarke convinced her she could use a day off. Multiple days, preferably.

 

The Nightbloods followed them around on the streets and they seemed lighter on their feet too; undoubtedly happy to have their Commander alive and well, making the idea that they would have to take her place someday seem distant. 

If things were to go as Lexa hoped, they wouldn’t have to replace her for many years to come. 

 

The market was flooded with stalls and merchants and one in particular caught Clarke’s eye. Besides an arrangement of bright, shiny stones and chipped wood bracelets, colored crayons and sets of charcoal were displayed. The woman behind the stall beamed brightly at Clarke.

Blue eyes turned to Lexa and back to the merchant. “I’ll take ten of these.”

 

 

Not much later they found themselves behind the barracks, drawing on large, smooth boulders with colored crayons near the edge of the training area. 

For a moment Clarke had been worried the children wouldn’t know what to draw. She remembered drawing her family at their age, the earth and trees and animals she had seen in books, but her life had been so different from theirs. Theirs had been violent and dangerous and filled with radioactive mutated animals for as long as they could remember, so she was pleasantly surprised when they drew magnificent horses and large temples and even a likeness of Polis’ tower. 

She never should’ve underestimated their creativity.

 

The Nightbloods curiously asked Clarke what the earth had looked like from space, and she drew it like she had seen it many times. Oceans of blue and green expanses, too far away to make out any sign of life. 

It seemed surreal to the children, how small the world could be - just a circle in a black expanse - but at the same time it was larger than they expected when the clans were just dots on green plains.

Lexa listened with a smile on her face as Clarke answered all they asked her, and it struck her how terribly far away they had been from each other. It made her arms ache with the longing to hold Clarke as close as possible, now that she could.

 

 

Late in the afternoon Ida came out of the building, watching them quietly and contently for a while before calling out dinner was ready. 

Perhaps children didn’t eat a whole lot, but seven kids were a lot to take care of and Lexa knew the assigned chefs would always prepare something decent for the potential future commanders. 

“Leksa, Klark,” Ida smiled at them as the children made their way to the dining table, “eat with us, _beja._ It would please the children.” 

One of the girls had already shuffled to make space next to her and was tugging on Clarke’s hand. 

Lexa looked at Clarke, who responded with a grin. 

“We shall dine with you,” Lexa confirmed. 

 

Mashed potatoes and seasoned steak were piled onto their plates, along with a few carrots and broccoli. Lexa observed the Nightblood’s table manners, pleased to see their postures. They were proper, even the younger ones who were determined to cut their own steaks. 

It was only when the boy next to her ate everything else on his plate and then hesitated at the broccoli, pushing it around with his fork, that Lexa schooled her face into that of the Commander. 

“Harfi,” she addressed him, “is it your wish to be weaker than your comrades?”

The boy looked at her with wide eyes. He shook his head. 

“Then eat your vegetables.”

He swallowed, looking at his broccoli. Then he composed himself and straightened in his seat and ate the vegetables without further ado. The other children had their eyes on them and Lexa gave the boy a genuine smile. “Good.”

His eyes lit up.

All other children started on their broccoli, too.

 

Soon enough their plates were empty but everyone remained seated at the table. The children had excitedly asked Lexa to tell another one of her stories, and this time she was telling them about the first time she was allowed to go hunting. They listened with toothy grins and even interrupted every so often to make a remark or ask a question. 

“I saw something rush by my side, but it moved too fast for me to make out its color. When I looked at the ground, I saw there was another pair of tracks aside from the hare I had been hunting. It was large, much larger.”

“Was it a panther, Heda?” Aden asked, not bothering to hide his curiosity when Lexa was gracing them with one of her stories.

“A panther has large claws. These tracks were smaller but deep into the ground, so I knew it was a heavy animal.”

A boy with dark hair giggled. “Maybe it just was a really fat pig.”

Lexa smiled. “It was. The boar was twice my size and it charged at me from behind. By the time I finally managed to nock an arrow, Indra had already had to shoot it twice to slow it down.”

 

Clarke’s heart felt warm. Although the Nightbloods undoubtedly respected their Heda, they clearly loved her as well. 

What touched her the most was seeing that Lexa loved them, too.

Suddenly she had this ache in her chest, a longing to have this with Lexa, together. A family. Before her eyes could well up with what-ifs, she swallowed it away.

 

Lexa noticed, though. Although Clarke smiled reassuringly at her, the Commander excused them not much later. Formality somewhat returned to the children, standing straight and hands clasped behind their backs as they bid them goodnight.

“Ryder,” Lexa called to her guard, “you shall clean the dishes for them tonight.”

Ryder sighed. “I’d rather not leave you unguarded, Heda.” He knew his protest was useless even before he spoke it.

Lexa brushed him off with a stoic look, something about her being capable enough of protecting them herself, and at last he nodded his acceptance. Even though it was no job for a commander’s guard, it could’ve been worse.

 

* * *

 

Lexa walked them back to the tower, Clarke’s hand clasped in hers and no longer caring who saw. The sun had started on its decent and the streets were emptying out, people returning to their homes and children being called inside. 

Before they could reach the building though, Clarke became impatient. She tugged Lexa down one of the alleys, still full of adoration and lust and love that had been building up, and pinned the brunette between her own figure and the wall. 

“Clarke,” Lexa breathed but lips soon covered her own and it’s all she could do not to moan when Clarke’s desperate tongue sought out hers. 

An ache deep in her belly and between her thighs became apparent to Lexa and as the blood rushed through her ears, she squeezed the blonde’s hip once more before pulling back.

“Clarke,” she now panted, “we should really just take this to our room.”

Clarke nodded, seeing her point. She wasn’t going to ravage Lexa around the corner of a dark and musty alley when anyone could just walk by and notice them. That would be…wrong. Right?

She gave into the temptation of hastily pressing a few open mouthed kisses to Lexa’s neck and stole another peck from her lips.

Then, smoothing down her shirt, they continued on their way. Clarke desperately hoped the elevator ride wouldn’t take too long.

 

 

When they finally stumbled into their room, Lexa spoke a few hasty and demanding words to the guards outside their door who took their leave as requested. 

Clarke’s hands were on Lexa’s belt, tugging on her shirt, kicking off her own boots. Lexa wasn’t entirely sure where this came from since they just returned from an afternoon with the Nightbloods, but to Clarke she was suddenly irresistible and Lexa wasn’t about to complain. 

Open mouths and desperate kisses sparked up the temperature between them until they both remained in their underclothes and stumbled backwards to the bed. 

With hooded eyes Lexa allowed Clarke to take off the remainder of her clothes and Clarke simply watched her for a moment before shedding her own. Their mouths crashed back together, love sparking strongly between their chests. 

 

Clarke lowered her naked form onto Lexa’s, her tongue coming out to nibble at the brunette’s ear as she ground her hips into the woman below her. 

“Clarke,” Lexa gasped, “you’re beautiful.”

Lexa’s hands glided down Clarke’s sides until they met the curve of her hips. 

“And you’re perfect,” Clarke whispered hotly in her ear. They moved against each other, breath coming in shorter and louder gasps that were only muffled whenever their lips met, turning them into soft whimpers instead. 

Clarke’s mouth moved to Lexa’s collarbone, down her chest and over her stomach. Fingertips softly scraped Clarke’s scalp, needing to give some sort of affection. Reaching the tender skin around the curve of Lexa’s hip, Clarke bit softly on the inside, eliciting a desperate grown from Lexa.

“That okay?” Clarke asked, looking back up. Lexa nodded and Clarke kissed the tender area, moving down to nibble her thighs before going back up to give the girl’s breasts the attention of her mouth while her hand descended between them.

Lexa was glad she sent the guards away that night.

Especially when she was settled with her head between Clarke’s thighs later.

 

 

The cool air was soothing on their flushed skin. Lexa’s arm felt numb from where Clarke’s head rested on top of it but she didn’t care. It was perfect. She was happy.

All was still and Clarke rolled over to once more lie on top of her. Eyes connected and Lexa’s arms came up around the blonde’s middle.

“What is it?” she breathed.

Clarke smiled even as a beautiful sadness hung in her eyes. She studied the contours of Lexa’s face, taking in her gentle eyes and the tender touch of her body against her own. The thought that she was about to get married to this woman still left Clarke breathless.

“I want you,” she whispered, words sounding broken and incomplete. 

“You have me,” Lexa assured.

“I want you… I want us,” Clarke stated. “I want-”

“What, my love?” 

Clarke’s voice stuck in her throat and she suddenly felt incredibly dumb for what she was saying. They weren’t even bonded yet, but it stuck in her mind, in her heart, only to make its way out of her mouth. “I want to have a family…with you.”

Lexa’s chest coiled and she didn’t think anything painful could ever feel so right. Her eyes widened with wonder. She cupped Clarke’s cheek and guided her over to place a tender kiss on her lips. 

Clarke found herself pressing a little further into Lexa’s soft lips, hoping that if they could just keep kissing she wouldn’t have to hear Lexa’s response. 

She kept her eyes closed and chased after her lover’s mouth until Lexa gently pulled back and whispered, “I want that, too.”

Surprise turned into wonder, then into love until Clarke felt like her heart would explode. 

Grins took over their faces and ruined the kisses, noses bumping in low chuckles. The truth is, neither Clarke nor Lexa knew how they were supposed to raise kids when they were also ruling thirteen clans, nine of which were part of the Coalition. The biological aspect wasn’t quite thought out either, but what mattered was that both of them wanted nothing more than to spend their life with each other and build a family with them. That shared feeling just brought a giddy happiness to them.

“I don’t know how,” Lexa admitted, “but maybe someday. Let’s first just get bonded, shall we?”


	38. There, Under the Apple Trees

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I almost tried to make it a 100k words fic, but this will have to do.
> 
> Please, enjoy :)

The sky had already darkened, nighttime enveloping the city when Clarke was roused by Lexa moving out of bed.

She reached for the brunette’s wrist, warm hand silently questioning where she was going.

“Stay,” Lexa whispered. “There was an incident in the hall I must see to. I’ll be back soon.” She pressed a kiss to Clarke’s forehead. “Sleep.”

Lexa rose from the bed and pulled on a shirt and tight fitting trousers. Although she was used to these type of matters that required her attention, she couldn’t help but feel slightly annoyed to be bothered by it in the middle of the night. She left through the bedroom doors as quietly as she could and found Titus waiting for her outside. 

Lexa spared a quick glance at the two guards she had sent off earlier, both having moved further down the hall to give them the privacy she asked for. She motioned for one of them to accompany her and for the other to keep watch near the bedroom door, before following her advisor down the hallway.

~

“Your father slept with my wife!”

“How is that any of my business? You shouldn’t have stolen my cattle!”

The two men spat angry words at each other and it wasn’t long before their fists got involved as well. A single guard on night shift tried desperately to keep them separated but even his large posture couldn’t stop the men from throwing insults and making a scene that probably woke up everyone on that level of the tower.

To the guard’s relief the Commander herself arrived with another guard in tow, but their presence didn’t seem to calm the two men down at all.

“ _Shof yu op,_ ” Lexa hissed at them. “You’ll wake the whole tower!”

“Heda! You knew my father, he was an honest man. Tell this thief that he should repay me for the loss of my pigs,” one of the men claimed. 

Lexa sighed angrily, frustration clear. She didn’t care for the loss of cattle or family disputes in the middle of the night and by the looks on the faces of her guards, they didn’t either. 

“You two are pigs yourselves,” one of the guards grumbled, taking firm hold of the left man’s shoulder to escort him away. 

Strangely, this elicited a reaction from the other man. “Who do you dare call pigs?” he shouted, and as his hand reached for the sheathed sword on his side, the other guard jumped in as well to restrain him.

Lexa gritted her teeth, her order to take the fools away being drowned out by their own shouting.

~

Tex shifted in place. His spot in front of Heda and Wanheda’s bedroom door felt unnerving, as if he was supposed to be somewhere else. With a frown he remembered how the guards had been punished for the assassin attack a few days ago - reduced to the status of stablehands after leaving Heda’s door in the hands of strangers.

It was different now, he knew that. The Ice Nation was no longer a threat and the Commander felt at ease with only one or two guards at her door. Tex had only been promoted last week and he felt proud to stand where he did, guarding the hall of the Commander’s chambers.

The sound of scuffling emanated from further down the hall, followed by frantic shouts and the voice of the Commander herself. 

Tex shifted once more, glancing down the hallway. It sounded like something was happening that needed his attention and he felt restless and useless in his spot in front of the bedroom door. Wanheda was still sleeping and she was precious to Heda, he knew that - but it was a time of peace and the only thing that seemed to need his protection was coming from down the hall where the Commander had gone. 

In his defense, he thought he made the right decision. 

~

Clarke sighed, the emptiness in the bed mostly manifesting itself in the absence of Lexa’s warm figure and she wondered how the Commander had slept so many years in this bed alone.

She stretched and the bed cover slipped down her bare stomach, causing cool air to ghost over her skin. She sat up, tiredness in her limbs but no longer feeling sleep pulling at her eyes, and shrugged into a long, dark blue shirt. Her toes curled into the fur underneath Lexa’s bed and she waited a moment before standing up and moving towards the window. 

The balcony doors were left half open and Clarke took in the view. Small fires flickered below, torches lit along empty streets and a dark sky filled with stars that she could barely make out thanks to the large, nearby blazing fire on top of the tower.

The air smelled of forest, scorched fires and oncoming rain and as she pulled the balcony door open a little further, it wound around her figure and filled the bedroom.

The door handle moved, and Clarke didn’t notice.

~

“Take them away,” Lexa growled once again, sick of this pathetic fight after she had disarmed the men of their swords. As she held the sheathed weapons in her hand however, something inside of one of the sword sheaths clinked, the sound of metal against metal, and Lexa’s brow furrowed. She removed the sword and out of the sheath fell three bright, silver coins.

She looked at the men caught in her guards’ hold who had gone suspiciously quiet. Her gaze fell back to the coins as she picked them up and inspected them. Thick silver, worth enough to supply a family for a week. Only made in the North.

When her guard searched the other man, the same three coins were found in one of his pouches and Lexa panicked. 

Her steps back to her bedroom were hurried and when she ran into the young guard who was supposed to be at her door, she almost beheaded him where he stood.

She’s not sure if he was the fool here, or if she was.

~

The scuffle from the hallway seemed to have died down and Octavia yawned, annoyed at being woken up by the sound of a fight only to be too late to be part of it. With a grumble she turned around from where she had been on her way through the hallway towards the brawl and headed back to her room instead. 

On her way she sneaked a glance to the Commander’s door in the bordering hall, wondering if she and Clarke had woken as well.

Octavia frowned. 

 

“Why isn’t there a gua-” Her words were cut off in her throat when she saw a tall, cloaked figure moving through the room, shadowed by the moonlight that shone in from the opened balcony where Clarke stood.

At the sound of her friend’s voice, Clarke spun around in surprise. It turned to alarm when Octavia shouted her name and the blonde noticed the figure that had been swiftly sneaking up on her. 

She barely had a moment to prepare and when the intruder realized it was now or never, he pounced on her, dagger going for her neck. Clarke, however, managed to lock her hold on him and kept him in a tight struggle. Their faces were inches apart and with the force of push and pull they stumbled back out onto the balcony. Moonlight and fire from the tower’s brazier revealed the familiar face of Azgeda’s ambassador snarling at her. 

Octavia had drawn her sword and stood ready to attack but was afraid one wrong move would send the intruder’s weapon into her friend’s neck.

Their struggle continued and the attacker changed tactics, pulling Clarke in a different direction when he realized her strength was too great to get the blade any closer in their current hold.

“What is your problem?!” Clarke asked the ambassador in anger as if her life wasn’t on the line right now, dagger pressed alarmingly close to her face. She was honestly dumbstruck with his persistence in bothering her and even more by the fact that he thought he could just sneak up on her and kill her without a problem. 

Instead of responding to her question, the Ice man merely spat in Clarke’s face. She wrinkled her nose in disgust and on instinct, pushed him roughly away from her in the same direction he had been pulling her. 

It happened quickly – the dagger cut a thin line in her skin but quickly fell out of the ambassador’s hand as he tried to grip Clarke’s shirt instead. The fabric was too thin for him to hold on to and his face held pure terror as he seemed to realize that, too. The push she had given him was forceful and unexpected and with a stagger and a yelp, flaring his arms as the parapet made him lose balance, he fell off the balcony. 

Clarke stood watching for a while, wide eyed and frowning in concern and not quite sure what just happened. After a few moments, Octavia’s shocked expression made way for full, deep laughter.

 

When Lexa burst into the room, they were still in that same position.

“Clarke? What happened?” Lexa asked nervously, casting a glance at Octavia who was still trying to catch her breath.

“Uhm. We have a problem,” Clarke told her. Lexa’s hands came up around her cheeks, checking to see if she was alright. “I sort of pushed him off the balcony.”

At that Lexa stilled. She moved to the spot where Clarke had been and peered down, seeing the faint outline of a broken corpse lying on the street below. Pride flooded through her as she looked back at Clarke. 

Lexa turned to the guard that had followed her back to her room. “Fetch Ryder to take your place for the rest of the night. Make sure the two men that were bribed are thrown in a cell and that the body is cleaned from the street. And Tex,” she called out, stopping the young man in his tracks, “you will report to the stables in the morning. _Now go._ ”

“ _Sha, Heda._ ” With his head hung, he brushed past a smug looking Octavia and went to do as asked. 

“Not to be rude, Heda, but your guards suck,” the young warrior commented, not bothering to check if the guard had left. “If I wasn’t so grossed out by the thought of accidentally hearing you two doing it, I’d almost volunteer to take the job.”

“You’d really think we would know better by now,” Clarke mused. “With all these attacks I’m not sure how we keep giving them the opportunity.”

Octavia grinned from where she still stood in their room. “I wouldn’t worry; it seems like you two can handle yourselves just fine. These stories get better every time though. He literally just _spat_ in your face, Clarke.”

Clarke wrinkled her nose. “Yeah, great. Now I have Ice spit on me.”

Lexa’s eyes still sparkled as she looked Clarke over. “I really want to kiss you right now, but you should go wash that off first,” she admitted.

Clarke’s eyebrow lifted and she sauntered towards the Commander. “Why? Don’t you think I’m sexy like this?”

“Okaaay, time for me to go,” Octavia announced and soon enough it was just the two of them again.

 

Clarke washed her face and not much later she was back in bed with Lexa’s arms wrapped around her. 

“It still amazes me how incredible you are,” came from beside her. Clarke’s fingers smoothed over the arm Lexa had draped around her and for a moment it was silent again. The only assurance that neither of them had fallen asleep was the soft touch of Clarke’s fingers, the brush of Lexa’s thumb against Clarke’s stomach and the occasional kiss she pressed to the back of her neck. 

Clarke breathed deeply, willing herself to bury further into Lexa’s warm hold. This was home. Even with all the crazy things that had been going on lately, she couldn’t feel safer in the arms of her love.

“There’s a place I wish to take you tomorrow,” Lexa continued after a while. “You should bring your art supplies.”

Clarke narrowed her eyes. She turned over onto her other side to face Lexa. “Where are we going?”

“It’s a surprise,” Lexa stated, smiling at the closeness of their faces.

Clarke pouted at her but Lexa chuckled. She kissed soft lips until Clarke’s frown disappeared and felt heaviness pull at her eyes despite the rush of adrenaline that was still wearing off. 

“As much as I’d love to stay up with you all night, we should sleep while we can,” Lexa said softly. 

Clarke hummed, shortly pressed their lips together again. “Okay, go to sleep. I’ll protect you,” she said with a cheeky smile.

“Oh, look who’s feeling smug,” Lexa chuckled.

 

* * *

 

Morning came with a cool breeze and the sound of crows circling over the city, causing the hairs on Clarke’s arm to rise. Bells of cattle stood out among the murmur of the market and from the blacksmith’s shop in the distance came the sound of metal being hammered. Children ran through the streets, chasing each other and giggling brightly while the early tendrils of fall wound around in the air.

Polis was beautiful this morning.

 

They had breakfast with the visiting Arkers at a long table in one of the private dining rooms and Clarke’s bright smile brought warmth to Lexa’s heart. Half a dozen conversations mingled over each other and the smell of fresh bread filled the room.

“Have you decided on a wedding date yet, Commander?” Abby asked, seated in a chair to the left from Lexa who sat at the head of the table. 

Lexa’s gaze turned to Clarke who was in a grinning conversation with Lincoln and Monty. 

“Not officially, no,” Lexa answered, turning back to Abby. “But Polis is excited and awaiting our official announcement. Clarke thinks it best if we don’t delay it much longer; there is no rush, but I agree with your daughter.” 

A corner of Abby’s mouth lifted hesitantly. Her eyes studied Lexa carefully. “I was wrong about you,” she said then in a husked voice, hand coming up to cover Lexa’s own that rested on the table. “You care about her. I can see that now.”

Lexa swallowed, allowing this small token of informality because in this moment she wasn’t simply the Commander – she was the girl who would soon be Abigail’s daughter-in-law. “I do. I always have. She will have my heart and protection for the rest of her days, as will her people.”

Lexa could swear Abby’s eyes had started to glaze over.

“I know,” the woman said with a smile. 

Laughter erupted after one of Raven’s jokes and it eased them back into the rest of the company. Clarke had fallen quiet, bright eyes glued to Lexa’s as Abby slowly removed her hand again.

 

* * *

 

Leaves were starting to show shades of yellow and soon they would be varieties of orange and bright red. Lexa’s hand was clasped tightly in Clarke’s and she pulled the blonde excitedly out of Polis’ gates and off into the woods. 

“Do you remember when I told you about the apple trees near Polis?”

Clarke’s eyebrows rose in delight. “Where you used to play as a child?”

Lexa chuckled and averted her eyes to the ground. “Yes. I promised to show you one day.”

The path bended to the right and opened up to a clearing otherwise hidden behind trees and matching Lexa’s words, they arrived at a wide field dotted with apple trees.

Clarke grinned. Bright red and green fruits hung low from the branches, the trees in irregular spots that made it look like they had grown naturally. “It really is beautiful.”

With a tug on her hand Lexa led her further through the tall grass, following a path only she could see. 

“During the end of the summer months and the beginning of fall, the workers harvest most of the fruits. But before that time during the warmest days, some apples are already good enough to eat.” A mischievous grin made its way to Lexa’s face. “When I was younger, I often had to climb the trees before I was able to reach them.”

From a nearby tree, she reached out to tug a shiny red apple from a low hanging branch. 

“The workers didn’t mind you stealing apples from their orchard?” Clarke asked, copying Lexa’s grin.

Lexa puffed out her chest. “I am Heda. All these apples were going to be mine someday anyway.” 

They moved further through the field and with a small twist of her wrist Lexa picked another apple from a different tree, this time a bright green one.

“Try it,” she encouraged Clarke, “tell me which you like best.”

 

 

The sun was high in the sky by now and the two young women sat in the shade of one of the trees. The air felt pleasantly warm and throughout the field, bees flew from one flower to the next. 

At the far west side of the field stood a small, stone building which looked to be a storage shed and to their right the faint outline of Polis’ walls could be made out. 

“This is perfect,” Clarke whispered, side leaned into Lexa from where they sat huddled against the tree trunk. A soft breeze flowed through the land and the grass moved with its motion. 

“It is,” Lexa admitted. She remembered the days she had spent here when she was younger, hiding in the tall grass or climbing in trees when playing hide and seek, hands and mouth sticky with apple juice. But surely - lying in the grass with Clarke right here, the shapes of white clouds above them and the soft caress of each other’s hands – surely it couldn’t get any better than this.

A kiss against Clarke’s temple, a kiss against her cheek, and Clarke turned her head to get lost in those lips herself. 

“I brought my art supplies like you said,” Clarke mumbled against her mouth, only breaking their kiss long enough to speak, “but I’d much rather just keep doing this for a while.”

Lexa’s lips turned into a smile even as Clarke claimed them again. “ _Bilaik yu gaf, ai hodness._ ”

 

As you wish, my love.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I DID IT! *high-fives every single one of you*  
> Wow, okay. This has been an incredible ride. First and foremost: thank you all so much.
> 
> This was the first fanfic I ever started, so I'm incredibly grateful to those that stuck with me. I've learned many things along the way and the cheesiness in certain parts of my story successfully made me retch a few times. (I have no regrets.)
> 
> I can barely remember my life before writing Clexa fics, so I will continue. I'm already working on a few new stories including a multi-chapter fic that I'm really excited about. Perhaps I'll even write a sequel to this fic someday (we all want to see the wedding and be gifted with Clexa babies) but I decided to leave it here for now because I'm hopping on a plane in two weeks and really wanted to finish it before then. 
> 
> Thank you for reading and for your support, and thank you especially for those comments that convinced me I wasn't total crap. You guys made this all worth it.


End file.
